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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
The Trump administration proposed new regulations to strip the tax-exempt status of private schools if they offer targeted programs supporting specific racial groups.
Karen Read's former defense attorney David Yannetti praised Lindsay Clancy's lawyer as jurors twice reported they could not reach a unanimous verdict.
The U.S. military took down approximately 100 suspected cartel drones at the southern border in August using sophisticated laser systems, officials say.
Caitlin Clark set multiple WNBA records in August, scoring or assisting on 44.7 points per game and more before her FIBA Women's World Cup debut.
Lindsay Clancy’s jury ended its sixth day without a verdict after a dispute involving a holdout juror, with deliberations set to resume Friday.
Body camera video captured strangers and officers lifting a Volkswagen Beetle off a trapped e-bike rider after a crash on a Prospect Park road.
The Missouri Supreme Court unanimously blocked the GOP-drawn map, and President Donald Trump called the ruling "ridiculous" before November's vote.
The College Football Playoff's tight 12-team field means week one upsets can derail entire seasons, a pressure the NFL's 14-team format never matches.
Michael Lombardi resigned as UNC football's highest-paid college GM amid an ongoing internal investigation, weeks into Bill Belichick's second season.
A Louisiana judge granted an injunction on Thursday to allow athletes with professional ties to play for LSU and others to start a wild week in college football.
Satire
HELL — Feminist icon Gloria Steinem refused to allow Satan to hold the door open for her on the way into hell, in what many are calling her final act against the Patriarchy.
Legacy mapping tool MapQuest shot up to become the top navigation app in Apple’s app store after refusing to comply with President Trump’s executive order renaming “Lake Ontario” to “Lake America,” overtaking Google Maps, Waze, and Apple Maps. What do you think?
The post MapQuest Jumps T
PEMBROKE PINES, FL — An adventurous connoisseur with an eye for rare edible treasures was reportedly eager to sample the exotic delicacies of the Far East at local Chinese buffet Super Dragon #1.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of War Pete Hegseth set up a lemonade stand by the Reflecting Pool in order to raise money to allow the military to purchase more missiles.
PORTLAND, ME — Progressive local church First United Methodist of Portland announced that it would now be offering a mail-in attendance option for its parishioners.
The post Gloria Steinem, Researcher Who Discovered Existence Of Women, Dead At 92 appeared first on The Onion.
JUPITER, FL — A Florida court suspended golf legend Tiger Woods' driver's license for five years after an investigation determined that he is half-Asian.
NEW YORK, NY — Governor Kathy Hochul desperately tried to warn New Yorkers that Republicans were taking away women's rights, but no one in the room could hear her because her mouth was covered by a hijab.
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Touting the new feature as yet another innovation to help every traveler get where they’re going, Google Maps on Thursday began offering crawling directions for cyclists who have been hit by a truck. “Whether you’ve been sideswiped by a tractor-trailer on a two-lane road or
HERSHEY, PA—Calling into question the candy brand’s apparent belief that consuming its chocolate-covered caramels constitutes a lively group activity, viewers told reporters Thursday that a new Rolo commercial greatly overestimates the social element of eating Rolos. “Rolo roll call!” a hand
From specialized nutrition plans to mental skills work to experimental equipment, the quest to stay healthy and productive now takes NFL athletes far beyond the weight room. Here are some ways players keep themselves fit throughout the season. Mental Skills In recent years, mental preparation has be
Country star Ella Langley is breaking records with her hit song “Choosin’ Texas,” which has now topped the Billboard Hot 100 for 20 weeks. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist. Nepotism Connection: Child of God Honors And Accolades: CMA Award For Female Vocalist Of The
BRISTOL, CT—Claiming he was now convinced he had wasted his life covering “a little boy sport,” longtime ESPN analyst Tim Kurkjian announced Wednesday that he was quitting Baseball Tonight after discovering mixed martial arts. “They can hit each other, they can kick each other, they can brea
MARIETTA, GA—After the employee surfaced from out of nowhere to contend with lunatics once thought untouchable, sources at Horizon Insurance Solutions confirmed Tuesday that claims adjuster Erika Newton had emerged as a dark horse in the competition for most insane coworker. “I never would’ve
CULVER CITY, CA—Amidst intense speculation over who would next portray the iconic secret agent, a source within Amazon MGM Studios revealed Wednesday that producers had narrowed down their list of James Bond candidates to six actors and one extremely suave ferret. “Some of the biggest names in H
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL—Tearfully admitting that he had been lost since his wife Linda died, grieving widower Anthony Greenwich told reporters Wednesday that he wasn’t sure he’d ever love someone his age again. “Linda was truly one of a kind, and no senior or even middle-aged woman will ever
Sports
Alexander Zverev needed five sets and more than 4 1/2 hours to beat Quentin Halys in their second-round match, becoming the first top-seeded man to play back-to-back five-set matches to start a major in the Open Era.
Dae'Quan Wright and Zxavian Harris are currently cleared to return to college football after brief stints in the NFL, according to a judge's orders issued Thursday evening, setting up a dramatic showdown between the SEC and LSU.
Michael Lombardi resigned as the GM of the UNC football team, which he had joined when Bill Belichick was hired in late 2024.
Pop Watson III passed for 197 yards and three touchdowns as UMass ended a 16-game losing streak with a 37-21 win over Rutgers in the season opener for both teams Thursday night.
Enes Kanter Freedom is suing the Chicago Sky and the owners of Wintrust Arena, alleging in a 15-page complaint filed Thursday that his First Amendment rights were violated when he was removed from a Sky home game last month.
Freshman QB Julian Lewis led a clutch two-minute drill to put Colorado ahead, and the Buffaloes secured a 14-13 win by blocking Georgia Tech's 45-yard field goal attempt as time expired Thursday night.
Former NFL quarterback and Fox broadcaster Mark Sanchez has agreed to plead guilty in connection to the alleged attack of a truck driver in Indianapolis last year.
Alphonso Smith, a two-time All-America defensive back who played four seasons in the NFL, has died.
Can Baker Mayfield and C.J. Stroud play their way to big contracts? Is Aaron Glenn on thin ice with the Jets? Which 2024 first-rounders have fifth-year options at stake?
For the first time in four years, Serena and Venus Williams will play doubles together later this week at the US Open. How will it go? We break it down.
Who'll win the AFC South? Here's who the "First Things First" crew thinks will win the division crown.
The UMass Minutemen upset Rutgers 37-21 on the road on Thursday night to open up their 2026 campaign.
Here's the latest NFL news around the league on Thursday.
"The Bear" is back with his expert picks and best bets. Check out what he's wagering for Week 1 of the college football season.
A Louisiana judge issued a preliminary injunction against the NCAA and SEC, clearing way for former NFL players to return to college football.
With Week 1 approaching, the First Things First crew of Nick Wright, Chris Broussard and Danny Parkins predicted how the NFC South standings would shake out.
During Thursday's edition of First Things First, Nick Wright, Kevin Wildes and Chris Broussard debated whether or not AJ Brown can climb back into the top five at his position.
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The INDYCAR championship race is over, so what’s the point going into a finale after the title has been won? James Hinchcliffe explains why it matters.
Tech
RugOne's newest ruggedized phone has a waterproof action cam that you can remove.
Tesla has officially launched the Cybercab, its autonomous vehicle with no steering wheel.
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The popular free audio editor gets a colorful dark mode and granular editing tools.
There's nothing like lounging by the pool, listening to your favorite tunes. But is your Bluetooth speaker waterproof enough to handle a simple splash of water?
The new frontier model is particularly competent at agentic, computer-use tasks.
Alfonso Cuarón will executive produce the dark fantasy vampire story based on the popular D&D campaign setting.
Ugreen has three new hubs that run your smart home with local AI rather than the cloud. The top model runs on Nvidia's Jetson Thor platform and costs $20,000.
Several AI companies experienced issues at around the same time.
Stryker says its SportSuite Vision software for the headset received De Novo authorization from the FDA in July.
WeatherNext 3 is also supposed to be much better at predicting precipitation.
Entertainment
Matt Barnes believes LeBron James bolting to Philly was the best thing for Bronny James' career! TMZ Sports caught up with the retired NBA player-turned-podcasting star at Ryan Garcia's open workout in Los Angeles this week ... and Barnes weighed…
Calling all you mighty Millennials, ballin' Boomers, groovy Gen X-ers, and everyone else ... we're tappin' y'all into Gen Z's hottest stories of the week, packed with sexy stars and piping-hot news! Tap-In to the gallery ... we're spillin' it…
Influencers Meg Radice and Audrey Jongens say they were kicked out of the U.S. Open after posting photos of their credentials online ... and they’re begging to be let back in. The women, of the Instagram account The VIP List, tell TMZ they…
Carla Jeffery's family is asking for help to lay the Disney star to rest after her tragic death. The family launched a GoFundMe on Wednesday to cover Carla's funeral expenses and burial costs. They wrote ... "This is an incredibly painful and…
Saylor Hayes' parents were in court Thursday after their 5-year-old autistic daughter was found dead in South Carolina. During their extradition hearings at a Tennessee court, 70-year-old John Hayes III and 31-year-old Geordyn Hayes both waived…
These are the photos that got "Wheel of Fortune" announcer Jim Thornton suspended by the show and grilled by law enforcement. Thornton was on an American Airlines flight back in May from Charlotte to L.A. ... when a passenger eyed his laptop and…
Daejon Love, the man accused of posing as a 49ers player, was apparently trying to score points with a woman by offering up his thoughts on modern dating ... telling her he prefers to focus on one person at a time. In the alleged audio message,…
Bethenny Frankel is bringing the Burning Man spirit to the desert ... showing off her festive outfit before giving fans a tour of the area as a massive dust storm rolled through. The reality star and entrepreneur appeared to be fully embracing the…
President Donald Trump's administration has put an end to illegal immigration ... online, that is -- because the White House dropped a couple of arcade games focused on deportation. That's right, the Executive Branch has jumped into the same arena…
Police are reportedly involved after a Kansas restaurant owner came up to a 2-year-old's birthday celebration and kissed the toddler's face. The child's mom posted on Facebook about the bizarre encounter at Stearman Bar and Grill. She claims the…
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