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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Taulia Tagovailoa led American Samoa to a stunning upset over the U.S. Men's Flag National Team, snapping a 14-year win streak in Düsseldorf, Germany.
Jason Arday, the Cambridge University professor who resigned last week amid plagiarism and falsehood allegations, was found dead at a south London address.
Wisconsin congressional candidate Rebecca Cooke explained what it means to be a Blue Dog Democrat and how she connects with rural and working-class voters her party has left behind.
Tyler Muehl admitted to kicking a sea lion in La Jolla while referring to himself as UFC fighter Max Holloway. He faces up to a year in prison.
Delta Air Lines Flight 81 declared an emergency for an overweight landing at Heathrow after a lavatory issue forced the Paris-to-Seattle diversion.
Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport received new surface movement radar to help controllers track aircraft on runways in low visibility.
The Vegas Golden Knights unveiled a bold new center ice design ahead of their tenth NHL season, and social media had plenty of opinions about it.
Eman Abdelhadi delivered an "October 7th blessing" without mentioning those killed by Hamas as her brother, Abdul El-Sayed, campaigns in Michigan.
A Missaukee County, Michigan, shooting left six dead across multiple locations as police hunted suspect Chad Hickman, who was considered armed and dangerous.
Kelly Osbourne called Dee Snider's claims about her father's songwriting "spectacularly classless," igniting a fierce debate over Ozzy Osbourne's legacy.
Satire
The post No One Translated To Foreign Players Why They Currently In Cornfield appeared first on The Onion.
LOS ANGELES, CA — As heated debate continued to rage across the nation and on Capitol Hill over legislation designed to secure U.S. elections, former Vice President Kamala Harris issued a dire warning that the SAVE America Act could result in America being saved.
LOS ANGELES, CA — A special WNBA task force announced on Thursday that they had been unable to define a woman after several hours of meetings led to a stalemate on where to go to lunch.
WASHINGTON—Blasting the 2-year-old’s incessant lying to the American people, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt on Thursday slammed her toddler son over baseless accusations that the caterpillar was very hungry. “Time and time again, this vindictive child has served up fabrications r
NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zoran Mamdani's planned city-managed grocery stores were reportedly set to feature an exclusive "Queue Where You Wait For Loaves Of Leavened Flour Products", the mayor's office confirmed on Thursday.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt has announced that she will be leaving her post in order to be a full-time mom, having prepared herself over the past two years by answering millions of dumb questions.
America's 38th state is often assumed to be just one giant mountain, but it's so much more! For example, the state bird is a lark bunting. Bet you didn't know that.
NEW YORK, NY — Struggling to determine the definition of a woman, the Women's National Basketball Association decided to bring in a revered Supreme Court Justice to help settle the question.
BOSTON, MA — The state's Democratic leaders proudly unveiled a new bronze statue of the ancient pagan god Molech in front of the state Capitol on Thursday morning, further emphasizing their commitment to promoting child sacrifice.
Surveillance company Flock’s automatic license plate readers, which are used by over 5,000 law enforcement agencies across 49 states, are generating controversy. The Onion examines the pros and cons of the technology. PRO Helps police officers violates civil rights far faster than if they were wor
MCCOOK, IL—Complaining that he couldn’t even walk down the street without being mistaken for a world-class basketball player, doughy Eastern European immigrant Vukašin Petrović told reporters Thursday that he was tired of everyone assuming he was an NBA superstar. “Just because I’m a 6-fo
WASHINGTON—Surrounded on all sides by overturned furniture, ripped-out desk drawers, and dozens of loose items flung wildly from their shelves, President Donald Trump reportedly tore up the White House on Thursday in a frantic search for more munitions. “Come on, come on, there’s gotta be one
The post Manager Calls Bullpen Just To Say Hi appeared first on The Onion.
The post Marlins Jumbotron Displays Message Saying Free Trial Of ABS System Has Ended appeared first on The Onion.
Scientists have for the first time used AI to create viruses that don’t exist in nature, a milestone that has prompted hopes for medical breakthroughs and fears of new biological threats. What do you think?
The post Researchers Develop First AI-Designed Viruses appeared first on The Onion.
Kirk Devine, 45, passed away in a hot-air balloon explosion last Wednesday. In lieu of flowers, the family asks that mourners find and return Devine’s body parts.
The post Kirk Devine appeared first on The Onion.
PALO ALTO, CA—Telling himself he had “no other choice” but to end the simulated character’s life himself before his company effectively pulled the plug on the virtual world, a tearful Mark Zuckerberg reportedly smothered his metaverse avatar Thursday using a digital pillow. According to sour
Sports
Seahawks coach Mike Macdonald said one factor in the team's decision to offer Terrion Arnold a contract despite the felony charges he's facing was the "overwhelmingly positive" reviews they heard while vetting the free agent cornerback.
Scottie Scheffler birdied the first five holes and shot a 9-under 61 on Friday to take a three-stroke lead in the FedEx St. Jude Championship.
The Cavaliers are trading guard Dennis Schroder and cash to the Hornets for guard Tre Mann, sources told ESPN on Friday.
ESPN analyst Troy Aikman will see some restrictions in the lead-up to "Monday Night Football" broadcasts similar to those for Fox's Tom Brady.
Bills defensive tackle Phidarian Mathis has been suspended for the first three games of the season for violating the NFL's substance abuse policy.
Two days before her No. 3 will be retired by the Phoenix Mercury, Diana Taurasi told ESPN that she hopes to join Mercury ownership in the next year or two.
Creating your own rankings tiers is an essential part of draft prep. Matt Bowen gives you a head start.
Falcons edge rusher James Pearce Jr. will be suspended by the NFL for eight games due to violating the league's personal conduct policy, the league announced Friday afternoon.
Liverpool owner Fenway Sports Group confirmed the sale of a minority stake in the club to a consortium that includes Amazon founder Jeff Bezos.
Could Cody Gakpo end up making a move from Liverpool to Tottenham? Transfer Talk has the latest.
INDYCAR's Markham debut took an unexpected turn as an unfinished track forced practice to be postponed.
Caleb Williams winning MVP? Packers out of the postseason? Colin Cowherd makes five bold predictions for 2026.
Fernando Mendoza took his first NFL steps Thursday, and there were glimpses of the potential he brings to a franchise trying to restore its glory.
Second-year Atlanta Falcons defensive end James Pearce Jr. has been suspended eight games for violating the NFL's personal conduct policy.
NFL lineman-turned-driver Jared Odrick has found new meaning in life after trading in his cleats for cars.
Will Hill believes the Vikings will go from (tied for) worst to first in the NFC North in 2026. Here's why he's betting Minnesota.
Find out who's favored this weekend as INDYCAR heads to Markham, Ontario.
MLB announced that the San Francisco Giants will host the 2028 MLB All-Star Game for the sixth time in franchise history.
From Ontario to Washington, D.C., INDYCAR has back-to-back brand-new street tracks. So how do drivers prepare?
Texas LB Rasheem Biles has the team's 2026 game against Ohio State "circled" on his calendar after they didn't recruit him in high school.
Tech
The company will also be able to expand its fleet across more of the San Francisco Bay Area and Los Angeles.
At a press conference outside Madison Square Garden, politicians, musicians, and privacy advocates argued for tighter restrictions on how public venues deploy biometric surveillance.
Avatar Aang, Heartstopper Forever, and Exit 8 are among the films deserving of your eyeballs this month.
The Unitree G1 has found online fame as a relatively affordable robot that can charm a crowd. But can it ever hold down a real job?
That makes it the cheapest EV in Kia's lineup.
The invisible SynthID will remain.
Google has a week to make it easier to find third-party app stores.
If you didn't catch it in theaters, here's when you can watch it on Disney+.
Dash cam laws vary from one state to the next. Check the laws of states you'll be driving through.
President Macron has asked the government to rewrite France's proposed social media ban for children.
Laptop batteries don't last forever, but there are some things that you can do today that may affect the lifespan of your MacBook's battery.
Tim O’Reilly built a publishing empire that AI is helping to destroy. Yet he loves AI—as long as it’s open source.
Stop fumbling for cables in the dark. These WIRED-tested stands and pads will take the hassle out of refueling your phone, wireless earbuds, and watch.
If digital calendars are leaving you lacking, these WIRED-tested paper agendas and notebooks could change your life.
The agency signed agreements to not enforce parts of three federal court orders against auto dealers accused of discrimination—and didn’t notify judges or at least one of its coplaintiffs.
DeepSeek has announced price hikes for its V4 models.
Joi AI hired 10 people to masturbate using AI companions as part of a monthlong “wellness” study. The company claims the practice could help “solve male loneliness.”
Protect your Pixel 10a, Pixel 10, or Pixel 10 Pro XL with a tried-and-true phone case, screen protector, and Qi2 charger.
Can electrifying your workout offer a shortcut to a stronger, fitter you? I sweated in a skintight EMS suit for two months to find out.
Apple and Google still aren't done facing Epic Games in court.
Entertainment
Dolly Parton was forced to miss a major event at her beloved Dollywood theme park this week after her doctor advised her to stay in Nashville amid ongoing health issues. The 80-year-old country icon was scheduled to appear in person Friday for the…
Sid Wilson's officially out of Slipknot ... or at least he was for a hot minute -- before the band deleted their social media post announcing the news. Here's the deal ... the group's official Instagram account put up a simple black and white post…
Dr. Terry Dubrow has a whole different kind of "Botched" situation on his hands ... cybercriminals breached his plastic surgery practice and accessed sensitive patient information. Terry tells TMZ ... cybercrooks have become so sophisticated with…
This supermodel knows how to make a splash ... and she's proving polka dots are still having a major moment. The brunette beauty is showing off her killer figure in a strappy polka-dot bathing suit for a head-turning, retro-inspired ensemble.…
Nick Reiner is calling BS on the executor of his trust ... telling the court he didn't give any consent to withhold money from him he says was owed to him under the terms of the trust when he turned 30. Reiner filed a new legal document on Friday…
Ryan De Nino, who appeared on Lifetime's "Married at First Sight," is dead. A family member tells TMZ ... Ryan died suddenly earlier this week in New Jersey. We're told the family is not releasing details about the circumstances surrounding his…
Renée Zellweger's used to crafting a character ... but it looks like she's a master at crafting pottery, too! We've obtained pics of the actress -- clad in a white shirt and baseball cap -- hanging out Thursday with her boyfriend, Ant Anstead, at…
Luigi Mangione's supporters are still throwing money at his defense ... even though he pleaded guilty to stalking charges this morning in his federal case. We've learned that -- in the last few hours -- Luigi's GiveSendGo fund for his legal fees…
Jax Taylor and Lori Krebs aren't letting all the drama spoil date night ... stepping out together for dinner in L.A. Thursday ... and we've got them on video. TMZ obtained footage showing Jax and his publicist strolling side by side toward Laurel…
The California couple who are fighting their surrogate, McKenna West, for custody of their baby boy are slamming Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton for helping out McKenna ... TMZ has learned. In court docs filed in Texas, Nausheen Gilkar and Omar…
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