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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Demi Moore goes viral with dramatic bob haircut transformation at Milan Fashion Week, trading signature long locks for sleek wet-look style at Gucci show.
Abdul Jalloh is charged with stabbing Stephanie Minter at Virginia bus stop. The 32-year-old suspect has lengthy criminal history with multiple arrests.
The Fairfax County Public Library hosted a National Day of Reading event featuring books celebrating transgender and non-binary youth for ages 3-8.
President Trump plans to ban Anthropic AI from government use following a dispute over military applications and safeguards, calling the company "radical left."
The U.N. Human Rights Council cut off a video statement by Anne Bayefsky in which she criticized U.N. officials, including U.S.-sanctioned Francesca Albanese.
Stephen A. Smith criticized Democrats for refusing to stand during President Trump's State of the Union speech when he called for prioritizing American citizens.
Former soccer star Megan Rapinoe called Eileen Gu's decision to represent China instead of the U.S. in freeskiing an "excellent business decision" on her podcast with Sue Bird.
Legendary singer Neil Sedaka died Friday at age 86. The rock icon behind hits like "Oh Carol" and "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" leaves a six-decade legacy.
The White House sent its second offer to congressional Democrats as the partial government shutdown neared its third week with no clear end in sight.
Jake Tapper's on-air reaction to CNN potentially falling under Paramount's umbrella summed up the rueful and uncertain mood of the network.
Satire
U.S. — The Pentagon released a statement on Friday confirming a security breach by political commentator Tucker Carlson, who they said broke into a military hangar with the intent to slash the tires of all the Northrop B-2 Spirit bombers ahead of a perceived strike against Iran.
HIALEAH, FL—Despite ready access to an almost inexhaustible archive of exceptional movies, television shows, and print literature, local dad Brett Colston declared Friday that his favorite piece of media was a commercial from 2005. “I’m not sure if it was a Super Bowl ad originally, but you gu
There may be a bias toward Protestantism here, but being Catholic has its perks, too (reportedly). A delegation from The Babylon Bee flew out to Rome to meet with the College of Cardinals to find out the best reasons to be Catholic.
CHAPPAQUA, NY — While being questioned at the Chappaqua Performing Arts Center on Thursday, Hillary Clinton reportedly informed the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform that she only recalled meeting Jeffrey Epstein that one time when she murdered him.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former president and saxophone player Bill Clinton testified to members of Congress today that his answer to their questions depended on what the definition of "child trafficking" is.
U.S. — Tesla announced on Friday that it had entered an agreement to create a joint venture with Little Tikes to bring Full Self-Driving to the Cozy Coupe.
WASHINGTON—Amid shocking materials that include a photo in which the word ‘HELP’ has been spelled out with rocks, seaweed, and several stuffed animals, a newly released tranche of Epstein files revealed Friday that Deepak Chopra was still lost on the private island of Little St. James. “Fr
COLUMBUS, OH—Speaking with an unflagging sense of hope despite the long, challenging road ahead of him, prosthetic hand recipient James Bratton told reporters Friday he was slowly learning to lick barbecue sauce off his fingers again. “I’m still getting the hang of moving my sauce-covered hand
Jelly Roll, the artist behind songs “Son Of A Sinner” and “Save Me,” has announced a 2026 tour. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the singer. Birthplace: Walmart bathroom Legal Name: Davidson County Inmate No. 248323 Genre: Country for people who don’t like music Easily Id
The post No One At Combine Sure Who Told Prospects To Walk With Water Balloon Between Knees appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK—Doing everything within her power to ensure the big day would be absolutely perfect, pop superstar Taylor Swift paid off a bride who had booked the maid of honor she wanted, sources confirmed Friday. “I just really had my heart set on Lindsey,” said the multiplatinum recording artist
ST. GEORGE, UT — Local dad Sam Weaver struck a fatal blow against his teenage daughter's obsession with TikTok on Thursday by joining it himself, therefore rendering it uncool.
The post DOJ Fails To Redact Thousands Of Secret Epstein Family Recipes | Onion News Network appeared first on The Onion.
A mother in North Carolina who went missing while Christmas shopping 24 years ago was found “alive and well,” though she claimed she did not want to be contacted by her family. What do you think?
The post Mother Who Went Missing In 2001 Found Alive appeared first on The Onion.
TOKYO—In a bathroom stall outfitted with a glowing panel of cartoon icons and a series of tubular suction gears that pulsed in choreographed sequence to a cheery welcome jingle, American tourist Trevor Willis acknowledged he was totally overwhelmed Thursday by a confusing Japanese glory hole with
SHOREVIEW, MN — In the latest in a long line of cruel, heartless atrocities it has committed, the Trump administration has just stripped federal funding from a gas station daycare center with 20,000 students.
WASHINGTON—As shocking footage surfaced of his participation in the rowdy celebration, FBI director Kash Patel faced backlash Thursday after he was seen partying with the captors of Nancy Guthrie. “I was honored to have been invited to the isolated cabin where Savannah Guthrie’s mother has be
GENEVA — Amid ongoing negotiations over Tehran's nuclear program, Iran's Supreme Leader unequivocally informed the United States that they would rain death and destruction down upon them if they were bombed two more times. Maybe three.
U.S. — Shockwaves were felt among the conservative influencer sphere this week, as one bold, right-wing truth-teller very carefully chose his words so as not to speak truths that could potentially anger his own audience.
Catholics (and, to a lesser extent, Orthodox) like to sneer at Protestants, but being a Protestant comes with some amazing perks. For example, did you know you're basically your own pope? You can issue papal bulls about what to watch on TV or where to order food. It's great.
Sports
Arguably no sport has seen as big of a boom in interest as INDYCAR, but who are the sport's best drivers? We rank them.
Projected No. 1 pick Fernando Mendoza highlighted the podium sessions at the NFL combine on Friday as on-field drills continued.
The Gators ride an eight-game win streak back toward the top as they prepare to defend their title.
From injury comebacks to expanded roles, these players are outperforming preseason expectations.
Mike Evans to the Bills? Malik Willis to the Jets? Riq Woolen to the Jaguars? We found free agent fits for all 32 teams this offseason.
This year's report cards are based on responses from 1,759 players.
The Tar Heels are in third place in the ACC and have won 11 of their past 12 games, but they remain a No. 5 seed.
UCLA is on the brink of a perfect league record with its matchup Sunday against USC.
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It's an NHL doubleheader with playoff implications on ABC and the ESPN app. Here's what to watch.
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Brinks now-fiancé got in contact via unconventional means, eschewing social media direct messages and instead sending an email.
The 7,500 square foot land includes a professionally lit baseball field with indoor batting cages.
Unified heavyweight champion Oleksandr Usyk will defend his WBC title against kickboxer Rico Verhoeven in front of the Pyramids of Giza in Egypt.
A look at who's who and what they are playing for in the men's and women's college basketball mid-major Conference USA.
Bob Pockrass has some very bold predictions for what could be coming around the turn in the 2026 INDYCAR season.
Sports betting is not legal in Georgia. Learn the current legal status, latest updates, and the best DFS and pick’em apps Georgia residents can use right now.
We're tracking notable injuries, news and happenings across men's and women's college basketball during the 2025-2026 season.
FOX Sports' bracket forecaster Mike DeCourcy offers up his latest men's NCAA Tournament projections.
Tech
Prediction markets like Polymarket and Kalshi are big business, and some Big Tech employees are testing boundaries by making trades based on insider knowledge.
Paramount Skydance’s sprawling media empire will get a major boost if the deal gets approved.
With the likes of The Last of Us and Fallout out of the way for a bit, Amazon has seized its opportunity to put the spotlight on the next big video game adaptation, its currently-in-production God of War show. Today we got our first look at Ryan Hurst and Callum Vinson as Kratos and Atreus.
The im
OpenAI just announced a massive funding round of $110 billion, which is one of the biggest investment rounds in Silicon Valley history. The investors feature many of the usual suspects, including Amazon with $50 billion, NVIDIA with $30 billion and SoftBank with $30 billion. This investment brings O
NASA is making major changes to its Artemis Moon program. On Friday, Administrator Jared Isaacman announced the space agency would carry out an additional flight in 2027 to test commercial lunar landers from SpaceX and/or Blue Origin. The new mission will take the place of Artemis 3, which previousl
A “thought experiment” about the impacts of AI sent stocks tumbling earlier this week. It’s probably going to keep happening.
Pokémon celebrates its 30th anniversary today, and as you’d expect, Nintendo and The Pokémon Company are cranking up the nostalgia in every possible way. In addition to re-releasing the Game Boy Advance remakes of Pokémon Red and Blue on Nintendo Switch Online, they’re also selling us a Game
The Pokémon leakers were right: the Gen 10 games are called Pokémon Wind and Pokémon Waves. The Pokémon Company confirmed the titles during a 30th anniversary stream on Pokémon Day. The games are set to hit Nintendo Switch 2 in 2027. (A Game Freak leak last October suggested Wind and Waves woul
Samsung’s Unpacked event midweek revealed three new phones and two sets of earbuds, but the real standout, as usual, is the Galaxy S26 Ultra. This year, the Ultra actually features a bit of genuine tech innovation — and no, we don’t mean it folds.
Let’s talk about its new Privacy Display. Th
This week, we're diving into the big changes at Xbox and what it all means for Microsoft's gaming future. Phil Spencer, the longtime face of Xbox, announced he's retiring last week. He'll be replaced by Microsoft's former CoreAI CEO Asha Sharma, instead of his longtime deputy Sarah Bond, who plans t
The MacBook is coming back — or at least, that's what the rumors claim. Next week, Apple is expected to announce a colorful, low-cost, non-Air, non-Pro MacBook powered by one of its mobile processors. By avoiding its pricier M-series chips, Apple may reportedly be able to reach a low $699 or $799
Aventon’s latest single-speed hybrid bicycle is light, looks cool, and is the most bikey electric bike on the market right now.
If there’s one thing that stops people using their smart rings over the long term, it’s the battery life. After all, they’re so unobtrusive, it’s easy to forget to drop it on the charging plate every few days. It doesn’t take long for your pricey gadget to become little more than a very ex
The app reads your email inbox and your meeting calendar, then gives you a short audio summary. It can help you spend less time scrolling, but of course, there are privacy drawbacks to consider.
The Aktiia Hilo Blood Pressure Monitor is the first cuffless monitor to be cleared by the FDA. It’s discreet, highly accurate, and simple to use
A show that started as an earnest if messy quest for love is now simply a mirror to the hell of modern dating.
OpenAI has vowed to strengthen its safety protocols and to notify law enforcement of credible threats sooner in a letter addressed to Canadian authorities, according to Politico and The Washington Post. If you’ll recall, Canadian politicians summoned the company’s leaders after reports came out
With its twirly cord and landline-like features, the Tin Can is giving kids a crash course in phone etiquette. For example: Talk!
After 16 weeks of daily use, our WIRED testers saw visible hair regrowth with these red light therapy devices.
A report copublished by WIRED sparked a probe into opt-out pages hidden by data brokers. Now congressional Democrats say breaches tied to the industry have cost people tens of billions of dollars.
Entertainment
Jim Carrey wowed the crowd Thursday night as he delivered a speech in French when he was honored at the César Awards in Paris ... but the iconic actor also set social media abuzz with his look. The performer -- known for being able to contort…
"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" star Mauricio Umansky’s family is taking their dad Eduardo Umansky’s longtime girlfriend to court over alleged financial elder abuse, TMZ has learned. Mauricio’s sister, Sharon Umansky Bento -- in…
Can you guess which Hollywood hottie put her hot bod on full display in this topless shot?! Here are your clues ... She appeared on Cycle 14 of "America's Next Top Model" and played "Sloan Petersen" on "Days of Our Lives." Can you guess who she is?…
Tom Sandoval is happy to be the center of attention on "House of Villains" Season 3 with "Survivor" star Tyson Apostol ... but he also had plenty to say about his old stomping grounds at "Vanderpump Rules" and how it can be as successful as the OG…
David Martinsson went viral for posting a video about "being ugly" ... but it led to him meeting his wife and having a child, and now he says her opinion is all that matters. The YouTuber and his wife, Juli, joined us on "TMZ Live" Friday and we…
Legendary singer-songwriter Neil Sedaka -- who gained worldwide fame in the 1960s -- has died at age 86 ... TMZ has learned. We learned earlier today, Neil wasn't feeling well Friday morning and was taken in an ambulance to a hospital. Sedaka's…
Robert Carradine's death has been officially ruled a suicide, and he took his own life by hanging ... according to the Los Angeles County Medical Examiner. The actor's manner of death is listed as suicide and the cause of death is sequelae of…
Is Bill Clinton's team digging in during his Congressional House Oversight Committee deposition into the former president's relationship with Jeffrey Epstein ... or was it the representatives needing a break from asking the tough questions? Either…
Robert Carradine -- the actor best known for his roles in "Lizzie McGuire," "Revenge of the Nerds," and "The Long Riders" -- died in a hospital ... TMZ has learned. The Los Angeles County Medical Examiner revealed Robert's place of death in…
Michael Phillips is convinced he has the world's smallest penis ... but anyone who wants to take the title for themselves is welcome to drop their pants and prove it. The 38-year-old North Carolina man sat down with our own Charlie Neff for an…
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