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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Kevin Salazar was convicted of murdering Los Angeles County deputy Ryan Clinkunbroomer in a 2023 drive-by ambush near his Palmdale station.
James Carville slammed Hakeem Jeffries for meeting with Jared Kushner, saying Democrats universally agree they don't sit down with Donald Trump's inner circle.
Bobby Pulido defended Gerardo Ortiz's graphic music video depicting sexual violence, adding to controversies as he challenges Monica De La Cruz.
House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries mentioned his meeting with President Donald Trump's son-in-law Jared Kushner in a video issued on Monday.
A new report alleges Muslim Brotherhood-aligned networks have embedded themselves in Canada's elections, universities and civil society institutions.
Florida State, South Carolina, and Baylor all face hot seat questions as the 2026 college football coaching carousel predictions take shape.
Brittany Romano's grin and wink at the courtroom livestream camera during the Lindsay Clancy trial sparked viral backlash across social media.
Tyler Robinson's attorneys claim cameras and livestreaming of the Sept. 1 hearing risk turning the Charlie Kirk assassination case into a reality TV show.
Atlanta Dream star Angel Reese grabbed a record 26 rebounds against the Los Angeles Sparks, shattering Chamique Holdsclaw's single-game WNBA mark from 2003.
The Air Force identified 2nd Lt. Leah Borsich, 23, as a victim of the deadly Alaska charter plane crash that killed all eight on board near Cape Newenham.
Satire
U.S. — After Enes Kanter caused a big dramatic scene in public, the WNBA was forced to admit that the former NBA player is indeed a woman.
CHICAGO—Growing visibly alarmed as he speculated about the unclouded liquid’s implications for his long-term health, 53-year-old Charles Lewis reportedly became terrified Tuesday morning after his urine came out clear for the first time in his life. “Oh Jesus, it just looks like water—I’ve
PHILADELPHIA—Suggesting that the nation was increasingly prioritizing speed and efficiency in speaking, a report released Tuesday by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that more Americans are abandoning lengthy conversations in favor of one really big word. “Our extensive survey
LOS ANGELES—Empowering their users to be completely upfront about their intentions, officials for the dating app Raya announced Tuesday they were launching an all-new PR Relationship Mode. “Whether you’re looking for a 23-year-old model to serve as your latest beard or a fellow Hollywood A-lis
New evidence suggests Amazon is buying up rare books and tearing their pages from their spines in order to feed its AI models with unique information. What do you think?
The post Amazon Destroying Rare Books To Train AI appeared first on The Onion.
MENLO PARK, CA—Providing an internal update on his latest breakthrough in the smart technology sector, Meta founder Mark Zuckerberg reportedly invited employees to behold the company’s “new AI” Monday as he lifted his top to display his tinfoil-covered nipples. “Here, beneath my humble sh
PEORIA, IL — County officials said they would not stand in the way after local man Christopher P. Smith putting his children up for adoption after they told him the 1989 "Weird" Al Yankovic film UHF wasn't funny.
WASHINGTON—Swarming the nation’s airports as they rushed to board any available transatlantic flight, the U.S. populace decided Monday that if Harry and Meghan were going to the U.K., the rest of America was going with ’em. “Sure, it’ll be a big adjustment, but then again, what’s the po
VALLEY OF ELAH — A group of theologians and biblical scholars recently concluded that there was reason to believe that David yelled "Kobe!" while hucking a stone at Goliath.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With tensions rising over an ongoing trade dispute, President Donald Trump threatened to send in the military to seize control of Canada's maple syrup supply.
NEW YORK, NY — Over the weekend, Dr. Robert Bruce Banner shared a little insight into how he was able to maintain some semblance of control over his transformation into the Incredible Hulk by confirming a deep, personal secret: he's always angry at the Jews.
LANCASTER, PA — Local officials confirmed on Monday that a new data center had been constructed to handle the massive influx of online rants about data centers.
People may think Ohio has nothing to offer, but they're wrong. It's still part of America, and that makes it one of the 50 best places in the world to live.
Regulators around the world are cracking down on energy drinks, citing serious health risks associated with high levels of caffeine and sugar. The Onion examines the common myths and facts surrounding the popular beverage. MYTH: Excessive consumption can lead to depression and even suicidal thoughts
OTTAWA — With the United States imposing massive tariffs on Canada over the weekend, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney vowed to bring the U.S. to its knees with a crippling moose tariff.
THE HEAVENS—Noting that a marked downward trend had developed this fiscal year and showed no signs of stopping, The Lord God, Creator of Heaven and Earth, reported He was concerned Monday over what He called “troubling” Q3 circumcision numbers. “Sure, with the declining birth rate, we expect
SAN MATEO, CA—Noting that the students had known about the assignment since their end-of-year dismissal back in May, Sofia Suarez, a biology teacher at Hillsdale High School, informed her class Wednesday that she was disappointed no one had done their summer dissecting. “All right, you had thre
The post Trump Makes Repeated Verbal Flubs While Performing ‘Wild Wild West’ Theme Song appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
A new study published Tuesday by the British Medical Journal showed that at least 25% of NFL players who died between 2016 and 2021 had CTE.
The Big Ten is set to pass a rule Tuesday that doesn't allow players to return from the NFL and play for one of its schools, sources told ESPN's Pete Thamel.
The LeBron James Family Foundation Invitational will be played in James' hometown of Akron, Ohio, in July 2027, James' foundation announced Tuesday.
The PGA Tour's future postseason will include a Championship Series finale -- a 72-hole, stroke-play tournament that will finalize the points list and determine the seasonlong champion -- followed by match play over two weeks.
Angel Reese set a WNBA record with 26 rebounds in the Dream's 78-71 win over the Sparks on Monday, pushing her past the league's season record in the same game.
Vanderbilt will start Blaze Berlowitz at quarterback in their season opener against Austin Peay, but five-star freshman Jared Curtis is also expected to play, sources tell ESPN.
Our Summer Forecast panel reveals its championship predictions for the East and West conferences and the 2027 NBA Finals.
Duke has named San Jose State transfer Walker Eget its starting quarterback ahead of the Blue Devils' season opener against Tulane on Sept. 5.
PGA Tour CEO/commissioner Brian Rolapp said the tour has no current plan to bring back LIV golfers Bryson DeChambeau, Jon Rahm and Cameron Smith.
Golden State got its first win over Minnesota in franchise history as it moves closer to hosting playoff games.
With four wins on the season, Denny Hamlin is favored to take home the title as NASCAR drives toward The Chase.
After losing nearly two years because of injury, Michigan safety Rod Moore is "healthy" and primed to contribute in his sixth season with the Wolverines.
The Big Ten is reportedly set to ban players who were in an NFL training camp from coming back to play college football in its conference.
Eight NFL teams revealed a "Rivalries" jersey and helmet that will be worn once in the 2026 season.
Kyle Kirkwood surged up the rankings after his dominant performance at D.C. Was it enough for him to unseat Alex Palou from the No.1 spot?
The Tigers have lost six in a row, the Guardians and Red Sox have not, Cal Raleigh looked like his old self, the Rangers are alone in first and more from Monday's MLB action.
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Ryan Blaney won at Loudon and moved up the rankings. Here's where the top drivers sit before the final race of the regular season.
Cal Raleigh busted out of a season-long slump with the first three-homer game of his career.
The Seattle Seahawks have waived running back Anthony Hankerson, who could try to play in college again.
Tech
Apple decides undermining its own email privacy feature was a bad idea after all.
Every Xbox controller has the familiar ABXY buttons and offset thumbsticks. But Microsoft has slowly evolved the controller over its quarter-century life.
Waymo has set up subsidiaries in several European countries this summer as it prepares to expand.
Everything you need to know about Apple's powerful new chip.
The Supreme Court has removed one roadblock from the Trump administration’s attempts to impose severe restrictions on voting.
Let this serve as a reminder that the Switch 2 is getting more expensive next week.
The Xperia 10 VIII offers few upgrades for a lot more money.
Thunderbolt 5 offers extremely fast data transfer and lots of power, but most devices can't take advantage of it
Pebble Time 2 is a smartwatch designed to push back against the trend, and it does so beautifully.
We're liveblogging the two-hour showcase and half hour pre-show of Gamescom's ONL today! Come join us, we'll even start a little early for you.
Apple finds respectable performance gains on a new 2nm process, but M5 users shouldn't feel any FOMO.
Apple’s Mac Mini and Mac Studio have been tough to buy for months, but updated versions have arrived. Both include new chips optimized for AI, with the M6 Mac Mini getting a $200 price bump.
After years of smells, strange noises, and “tea,” these are the composters and food recyclers I’d actually recommend.
The best car phone holders keep your phone firmly in place while never getting in your line of sight. I took a dozen on road trips this summer to find the best.
Illinois prosecutors shared defendants’ personal data with federal immigration agents without criminal warrants, public disclosure, or legislative oversight.
The Optoma GT2400HDR laser projector is great for setting up a driving range in your living room, but mediocre video quality makes it less appealing for home entertainment.
Archeologists are confronting an “unfathomable” loss as border wall construction is set to cut across ranches that are home to unique historical sites, many of which haven’t been fully studied.
Thanks to a dwindling supply of open roles, “one-click” applications, and the rise of artificial intelligence, it’s easier than ever to apply for a job. We’re all paying the price.
“It never crossed my mind that they would be so bold as to sell our private data for AI,” says one former Spirit Airlines flight attendant.
Say hello to a revamped collection of perfectly proportioned 38-mm Speedmasters.
Entertainment
Taylor Swift has a warning for her haters ... she bites back. The 14-time Grammy winner opened up about how she deals with criticism during a nearly hour-long conversation with Recording Academy CEO Harvey Mason Jr. for the Grammy Museum's "Icon…
"The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" star Erika Jayne is being put on notice by the court handling her divorce from her estranged husband, Tom Girardi ... wrap up the case, or it gets thrown out. According to new legal docs, obtained by TMZ, a…
This gorgeous model has an insane bod ... and she loves to show it off, especially on Instagram -- where she's got more traps than an Indiana Jones adventure. She's known for being sexy AF ... but also for being the momma of a kid with a "Saturday…
Hayden Panettiere's boyfriend, Brian Hickerson, is finally showing his face amid an onslaught of verbal attacks from her mother ... stepping out of his lair to grab a package ... and looking pissed. Brian emerged from his South Carolina house to…
Brenda Dickson just scored a victory in court ... a judge just tossed the case tied to the alleged altercation that landed the former soap star in handcuffs. As TMZ previously reported ... "The Young and the Restless" alum was arrested for…
Porn Star Christian Styles' death is now under police investigation ... and cops say his family contacted them to respond to his Michigan home, TMZ has learned. Canton Township Police Chief Joseph Bialy tells TMZ ... officers went to Christian's…
The Vanity Fair reporter who went viral for her unsettling grin and wink during the Lindsay Clancy murder trial has to find something new to smile about ... because the outlet has called off the essay from her they planned on running. A…
McKenna West's baby Gabriel's health is declining days after his complex heart surgery … and he is in critical condition. According to court docs obtained by TMZ, Nausheen Gilkar and Omar Ahmed, the biological parents who are battling…
Three juveniles and an 18-year-old are in a heap of legal trouble after going on a joyride in a stolen SUV and crashing into another vehicle, killing a grandmother and her longtime partner, according to New Jersey prosecutors and media…
The trailer park where 49ers Owner Jed York was arrested wants to make one thing clear ... it's not a hub for prostitutes. Wheat Hill Mobile Home Park posted on its Facebook page ... "I just got off the phone with the Chief of Police for East…
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