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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
President Donald Trump said Iran gave the U.S. a 'significant' oil and gas gift tied to the Strait of Hormuz, saying Iran is ready to make a deal on nuclear weapons.
California Gov. Gavin Newsom drew mockery after comparing himself to "American Psycho" character Patrick Bateman in an apparent parody of President Trump's Elvis post.
Former CIA Director John Brennan said Monday he believed the Iranian regime over Donald Trump, claiming Trump cannot acknowledge truth when he's "slapped in the face with it."
Jose Medina, released into the U.S. under Biden after a 2023 border apprehension, allegedly killed Sheridan Gorman, 18, reigniting immigration debate.
A suitor's tie to Madison Cawthorn surfaced after Season 22 of "The Bachelorette" was canceled following domestic abuse allegations against Taylor Frankie Paul.
King Charles will address Congress next month in his first state visit. The trip follows Trump’s Windsor Castle dinner and Speaker Johnson’s UK address.
Thomas Haynes, 46, is charged with second-degree murder after allegedly killing Sophie Klippel, 23, in a hit-and-run crash in Charlotte, police say.
March Madness isn't just for brackets — some men schedule vasectomies to recover on the couch while watching college basketball games, surgeons say.
As new DHS Secretary Markwayne Mullin prepared to be sworn in, ICE officers continued operations, arresting child predators, rapists and domestic abusers across the country.
Paramount+ canceled “Star Trek: Starfleet Academy" after one season, though its already filmed second season is still set to air, following weak viewership and fan backlash.
Satire
Looking to expand your personal gym, but low on cash? Instead of spending money on a 20-pound weighted vest, try just gaining 20 pounds instead.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A major new source of fraud was uncovered in the nation's capital on Tuesday, where investigative journalist Nick Shirley revealed large sums of money were being funneled into a defunct assisted living center masquerading as an upscale old folks' home.
NEW YORK, NY — As part of its ongoing agenda to minimize human errors that affect games, Major League Baseball announced that, in addition to using the "Automated Ball-Strike System" technology, all umpires would be replaced with cardboard cutouts.
ANN ARBOR, MI — Local sports fan Adam Cartwright was finally forced to admit to himself that he had a gambling problem after he finished placing a bet on the outcome of a women's basketball game.
U.S. — Chick-fil-A employees began taking over TSA duties at the beginning of the week, and airline passengers noted that wait times were eliminated almost immediately.
BURBANK, CA — Due to some clever thinking by producers of Walt Disney Pictures' live-action Moana remake, the $150 million film was able to save big on its budget by just getting Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson an $8 wig from Spirit Halloween.
The post ICE Agents Swab Passengers’ Hands To Test For Immigrant Residue appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK, NY — A terrorist became frustrated and decided the attack he had been planning wasn't worth the trouble after spending three hours in the TSA line at the airport.
LOS ANGELES—Widening their eyes in horror as the blond creature crawled out from behind the curtains in a pair of tattered rhinestone jeans, terrified audience members reportedly watched Tuesday as a haggard Hannah Montana confronted Miley Cyrus on stage during their Disney sitcom’s 20th-anniver
CINCINNATI—With their adult child watching in silence as they bickered openly in front of patrons at the Park Diner, local parents Steven and Lorraine Helms were reportedly disagreeing Tuesday about how Dad likes his eggs. “No, I tried making them over-hard that one time, and it ruined your whol
NEW YORK—In what came as a welcome shock to investors amid recent dips in the global economy, markets reportedly surged Tuesday after President Donald Trump wrote in a Truth Social Post that he’d had sex with an angel. “I AM PLEASED TO REPORT THAT OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS AN ANGEL HAS VISITED ME
The post Cameraman Sitting Under Basket Spread-Eagle appeared first on The Onion.
U.S. — CNN announced a shift in its reporting of the US-Israel war with Iran on Monday, declaring the conflict resolved. In light of this major update, CNN officially called the war for Iran.
RACCOON CITY — Maintaining some semblance of his humanity, a grotesque boss monster located in an underground laboratory helpfully leaves plenty of health and ammo in the room right before anyone comes to fight him.
U.S. — The Transportation Security Administration announced this morning that it would be ending the practice of performing colonoscopies on travelers at airports around the country in an effort to speed up security lines amidst the ongoing partial government shutdown.
SÃO PAULO—In an effort to rectify the misunderstanding between the young girl, the girls’ parents, and herself, pop star Chappell Roan kidnapped the 11-year-old fan who was upset by a security guard while in São Paulo to attend Lollapalooza Brasil, sources reported Monday. “People think I ha
WASHINGTON—Declaring that the United States would no longer bear the full burden of screwing the pooch on a global level, President Donald Trump issued a statement Monday demanding U.S. allies do their fair share to help fuck up the world. “The United States contributes far more to worldwide suf
ATLANTA—Hoping to provide clarity to consumers about their company’s food production standards, Chick-fil-A officials announced Monday that the two halves of each bun served in their restaurants must be married before becoming a sandwich. “In accordance with Chick-fil-A’s values, the bread
Markwayne Mullin has been nominated to succeed Kristi Noem as the secretary of homeland security. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the senator from Oklahoma. Ethnicity: Brother-in-Law Raised By: Momwayne, Dadwayne Known For: Being forcibly dragged off your flight Humanizing Quality
Spotting the big brown eyes that peeped out from a shelf of stuffed animal toys, a traveler browsing in a Tasmanian airport gift shop discovered a real Australian brushtail possum nestled among the plush marsupials. What do you think?
The post Live Possum Found Hiding Among Gift Shop Plush Animal To
Sports
Mohamed Salah will leave Liverpool at the end of the season, the Premier League club announced Tuesday.
The NBPA is calling on the league to, at minimum, amend the 65-game rule for players to be eligible for end-of-season awards.
Linebacker Lavonte David announced his retirement Tuesday after a 14-year career with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in which he was a 12-time captain and has led the league in tackles since he entered the NFL.
The Sixers' Paul George, who was suspended 25 games for a failed drug test, is set to return Wednesday when Philadelphia faces the Boston Celtics.
The WNBA is changing its latest possible end date to Nov. 21 under the new collective bargaining agreement, nearly a month later than the previous deal, according to a document produced by the union and acquired by ESPN.
Coach Dan Hurley is pleading for rival UConn and St. John's fans to rally together -- for one night -- and root for each other in the Sweet 16 of the NCAA tournament.
A county sheriff's office in Maryland said Monday that a professional cornhole player who's also a quadruple amputee fatally shot a passenger in the front seat of a car he was driving during an argument.
All the rankings, projections, cheat sheets, strategy and analysis you need for the 2026 fantasy baseball season.
The NBA Players Association rebuked the Bucks over their dispute with Giannis Antetokounmpo, implying that Milwaukee is "tanking" and damaging the league's integrity by wanting to shut down the All-Star forward for the rest of the season.
Field Yates unveils his latest NFL mock draft, projecting two full rounds. Which top prospects could go in the opening 64 picks?
Tyler Reddick strikes again, but was his impressive run at Darlington enough to keep him in the No. 1 spot?
It's tight at the top of the oddsboard for the Cook Out 400 in Martinsville. Here are the early odds.
Notable news, notes and buzz with MLB spring training ramping up ahead of the World Baseball Classic and Opening Day.
Here are all the latest signings, trades and releases around the NFL.
The Dodgers and Mariners are expected to repeat as division champs. Every other division? Up for grabs. See the Opening Day odds.
A year ago, Jaffer Murphy was scrambling to find a school to kick at after Bill Belichick wouldn't guarantee him a roster spot at UNC. Now, he's the kicker getting the most buzz in the 2026 NFL Draft after impressing at his pro day.
UConn's Dan Hurley is hoping for a rematch against St. John's for a Final Four spot, and wants these rival fans to come together to root against Michigan State and Duke.
Will history be made this season when it comes to the MLB MVP awards? See the Opening Day odds.
As everyone races behind Tyler Reddick this NASCAR season, Kevin Harvick shared his take on 23XI Racing's strong start to 2026.
The new baseball season begins Wednesday. See the latest World Series odds, as the Dodgers are favored to three-peat.
Tech
Zoox has announced plans to bring its robotaxi to Austin, Texas and Miami, Florida for the first time, along with offering expanded service in San Francisco and Las Vegas. The company formally launched its robotaxi service in September 2025, and shared earlier in March that it would begin testing in
Who among us hasn't tormented over the burden of having to exit an AI app to check the weather? Well, I haven't, and I'm guessing you haven't either. But AccuWeather has a solution regardless. On Tuesday, the company rolled out a ChatGPT app to spare… someone that pain.Snark aside, there may be a
At the close of a video announcing the second season of Splitgate: Arena Reloaded, the company's co-founder and CEO Ian Proulx revealed that "a small section of the team" has started work on a new game. He said that the next project will be a movement shooter in the style of Titanfall and Black Ops
The FCC just banned the sale of new consumer-grade Wi-Fi routers manufactured outside the US. Here’s what it means for you.
Google has announced a trio of new AI-powered features for its Google TV platform, after showing off smarter Gemini integration at CES back in January.
Google TV can now provide "richer visual help" when you ask it a question. Request the current sports scores, for example, and Gemini will bring up
Apple Maps will soon have ads, Apple confirmed in a blog post announcing the company's new Apple Business platform. Reports that Apple planned to expand its ad business outside of the App Store and Apple News broke as recently as yesterday, but the company has been rumored to be exploring putting ad
Audio-Technica is a leading name in home and professional audio, and the AT-LP120XUSB is a great turntable for most listeners.
Apple TV's long-running sci-fi show For All Mankind has just been renewed for a sixth and final season, ahead of this week's season five premiere. This seems more like the natural endpoint of the story instead of a cancellation, according to remarks made by some of the creators.
"Getting to explore
iOS and iPadOS 26.4 are here, with a surprising number of new features for a point release. Chief among them is a new AI playlist generator, similar to one Spotify launched in 2024.Playlist Playground is Apple's branding for the song list generator. It works as you'd expect: Type a prompt, and it sp
The live music discovery platform Bandsintown’s partnership with Apple goes way back, but iOS 26.4 brings the deepest integration between the two companies to date. Concert listings from Bandsintown will now appear in Apple Music, allowing you to find out when either a band you already love, or on
The chip design firm says Meta, OpenAI, Cerebras, and Cloudflare are among the first customers of its new artificial intelligence hardware.
Pokémon Champions — a battle-focused game along the lines of Pokémon Stadium — now has a release date, and it's pretty darn soon. It will hit Nintendo Switch and Switch 2 on April 8. A mobile version is in the works with support for cross-play with Nintendo's consoles.Nintendo released a new o
We knew Disney+ was prepping a standalone special for The Punisher, but we didn't know it was coming so soon. The Punisher: One Last Kill premieres on May 12. This is just one week after the season two finale of Daredevil: Born Again, which starts up this week. It's possible The Punisher will be fea
Clear Drop’s Soft Plastic Compactor is a unique household recycling solution that’s fun to use, but who is it for?
If you have a recent Apple device, you can translate live conversations. It’s impressive, and the new AirPods Pro Max just joined the party.
Soundbars just keep getting better, but some rise above the rest. These are the best high-end soundbars and wireless A/V speakers I've tried.
The host of MS Now’s All In, knows how hard it is to stay current. But he also knows where you should focus your attention—and it starts with a sober view of AI.
A family in Chicago has been terrified to leave their apartment. Agents could be anywhere.
Attachment to smart devices and biometric surveillance leaves Americans more vulnerable to police searches than ever. Left unchecked it will only get worse.
True modular smartphone hardware never went mainstream. That could change as phone makers look beyond magnets.
Entertainment
Taylor Frankie Paul’s 2023 arrest didn’t just rattle her, it shook up her whole family ... and newly obtained police body cam video of that night shows the emotional moment officers looped her parents in at the scene. In the video obtained by…
Dayton James Webber -- the professional cornhole player accused of murder, who happens to be a quadruple amputee -- climbed into a tree with a rifle strapped to his back in a newly resurfaced clip. More videos from Webber's YouTube account have…
Zendaya's dark rom-com "The Drama" isn't in theaters until next week ... and its shocking twist is already being denounced by someone closely connected to a related tragedy. Here's the deal ... the A24 flick starring Zendaya and Robert…
Kevin DiCicco -- the creator of "Air Bud," who had fallen on hard times in recent years -- has died ... TMZ has learned. Kevin's brother Mark tells TMZ ... Kevin passed away Saturday after spending some time in hospice. We're told Kevin smoked…
Not trying to make you feel old, but "Hannah Montana" premiered 20 years ago ... and we're helping you celebrate by showcasing what the cast looked like then and now! That's right ... we're giving you the best of both worlds, starting with Miley…
'Real Housewives of Atlanta' newbie Pinky Cole rushed to bankruptcy court after she claims a creditor seized her home and changed the locks ... TMZ has learned. According to court docs obtained by TMZ, Pinky said she owns a fancy property in…
Taylor Frankie Paul’s heated run-in with police before her 2023 arrest is coming into clearer focus ... and body cam video shows her clashing with officers on scene. In the police footage obtained by TMZ, Taylor appears visibly intoxicated as…
Livvy Dunne, Brooks Nader and Bethenny Frankel are bringing the heat down in Mexico for the upcoming Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition ... and this sneak peek is dripping with sex appeal. This year's SI models jetted down to Loreto, Baja…
We want you to be a part of TMZ, so every weekday, between 10:30 AM and 12:00 PM PT, we take you inside our newsroom via live stream. You never know what you're gonna get ... a big story that breaks, an argument erupts in the room, or someone's…
Shia LaBeouf had a grand time exploring Vatican City in Rome with his father ... despite some outbursts in Italy during his trip for his dad's baptism. See it for yourself -- you can see the actor exuberantly taking in the HQ of the Roman…
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