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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Super Bowl champ Rob Havenstein's Alaska hunting photos reveal a massive brown bear that completely dwarfs the retired Los Angeles Rams offensive lineman.
Dramatic footage captures the Marsala tornado overturning vehicles and destroying a school as officials call it the worst storm in living memory.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Todd Bowles took a helmet to the stomach during celebrations and went down to a knee while grimacing in pain.
The Texas Public Policy Foundation accuses a Houston education coalition of using socialist-aligned tactics to push radical policies in HISD schools.
Kallie Keeler's Supreme Court wrestling case could force 23 states to restrict transgender athletes in girls' sports under Title IX, her lawyer says.
Michael Douglas reveals on "Jimmy Kimmel Live" how Kirk Douglas handed him $10,000 at age 21 and told him he was on his own in his new memoir.
LAPD homicide detectives searched Joshua Tree for evidence in the disappearance of Christina Downer, sister of "Saturday Night Live" writer Jimmy Fowlie.
Costco's Kirkland Signature Peppermint Bark is back for $12.99 after last year's controversial $16.99 price hike sparked shopper backlash online.
Comedian Bill Maher warned the Democratic Party hasn't "renounced their crazy" and says the far left could misinterpret midterm wins as backing communism.
Viktor Stalberg reveals how Bob Hartley wanted him gone from Avangard Omsk, but the KHL club's owner stepped in with a blunt override of the coach.
Satire
In what would be the nation’s first public execution in 90 years, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced the Pentagon would livestream Fort Hood shooter Nidal Hasan’s death by firing squad. What do you think?
The post Pentagon To Livestream Firing Squad Execution appeared first on The Onion.
The midterms are less than a month away, so it's important for you to understand who you're voting for and why. You may think that voting for Republicans is the only way to go, but that's not the case.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move aimed at protecting coastal states awaiting landfall of Hurricane Isaias, President Donald Trump signed an executive order on Friday declaring all hurricanes illegal.
U.S. — Following the suggestion that Los Angeles or San Diego could be destroyed, the nation pleaded with the Republic of Iran to definitely not bomb L.A., especially not Dodger Stadium at 5 PM on Wednesday, October 14.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Pentagon confirmed on Friday that domestic terrorist Nidal Hasan would be publicly executed in a spectacular event hosted by Ryan Seacrest.
GLENDORA, CA — A local man narrowly avoided receiving a ticket for texting while driving after he politely explained to the police officer that he was merely playing Mario Tennis: Power Tour on his Game Boy Advance SP.
AUSTIN, TX — Senate candidate James Talarico suddenly disappeared from the campaign trail last week after Democratic strategists realized that he is James Talarico.
JERUSALEM — While overlooking the Temple from the Mount of Olives, the one called Jesus reportedly shared with His disciples a new teaching called the "Parable of the Wise Servant Who Invested in Pokémon Cards."
WASHINGTON—Calling the attention the incident was receiving yet another example of liberal media bias, the White House downplayed on Friday the fact that a hyena was currently biting down on the ass of President Donald Trump. “No one should be surprised that all the scrutiny from the mainstream
NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zoran Mamdani's demeanor suffered in recent days, according to observers, as he struggled to find that perfect work-terrorism balance in his life.
GREENSBORO, NC—Growing increasingly whimsical as she unearthed the memory from decades ago, local grandma Agatha Fuller fondly recalled Friday how she had once worked with a homosexual. “His name was Alexander, never Alex, and his hair and his suit were always immaculate,” said Fuller, reminis
WASHINGTON—Vowing to use the full force of the bureau to crack down on anyone who thwarted the values and aims of the United States through such an act, FBI Director Kash Patel formally classified not finishing a hamburger as seditious activity Thursday. “Let me say this loud and clear: Failing
Sixteen years after the release of The Social Network, follow-up film The Social Reckoning is coming to theaters. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the sequel. Q: Who’s the writer and director? A: Aaron Sorkin and, unfortunately, Aaron Sorkin. Q: What’s it about? A: As fans will
DNA analysis of a lock of Thomas Jefferson’s hair has provided the strongest genetic evidence yet that he did in fact father at least one child with the enslaved woman Sally Hemings, as has long been speculated. What do you think?
The post DNA Provides More Evidence Thomas Jefferson Fathered Chi
EGYPT — Zaphenath-paneah, also called Joseph, successfully rescued the land from the grip of severe famine this week after wisely advising Pharaoh to stock up on emergency food buckets from My Patriot Supply.
PITTSBURGH, PA — Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Aaron Rodgers decided to give up the psychedelic ayahuasca after getting sacked last Sunday by Big Bird.
ITHACA, NY—In an aggressive attempt to distance itself from an alleged sexual assault at one of its fraternity houses, Cornell University hastily announced Thursday that it was now going by a different name. “We determined that the best way forward was a clean start with total rebranding, and i
The post Christa Pike Sentenced To Lifetime Execution appeared first on The Onion.
This week the Supreme Court began a new term, and there are several consequential cases on the docket. The Onion previews some of the most important cases being heard by the justices in the coming months. Apple v. Epic Games : The suit over Apple’s App Store fees will be the first Supreme Court
Sports
André Snellings crunches the numbers, factors in average draft position and highlights the best spots to draft key players throughout your fantasy basketball draft.
All the names you need to know from our 2026-27 fantasy basketball draft guide on a printable PDF cheat sheet
Who are the best quarterbacks in the 2027 draft class? We sized up the top 15, including Arch Manning, Dante Moore, Trinidad Chambliss and Darian Mensah.
Mike Ditka, a Hall of Fame tight end who became an NFL legend for his time as coach of the Bears, has died at the age of 86.
After finishing Game 4 of the ALDS on the mound, Guardians right-hander Gavin Williams will get the ball to start Game 5, while the White Sox will go with righty Sean Burke.
Broncos offensive coordinator Davis Webb said that "it's not ideal" to have been stripped of playcalling duties, but said he plans to "be the best offensive coordinator I can be."
President Trump will no longer attend Saturday's SEC clash between Georgia and Alabama, which remains on schedule despite approaching Hurricane Isaias.
Retired NBA player and Olympic gold medal winner Russell Westbrook said he wants to carry the torch when his native Los Angeles hosts the 2028 Games.
The Ravens are ruling out quarterback Lamar Jackson for Sunday's game against the Falcons.
The College Sports Commission is looking into possible rules violations at between five and 10 Power 4 schools regarding payments to players, according to multiple reports.
"The Bear" is back with his expert picks and best bets for college football Week 6. Here's how he's wagering on this weekend's action.
Sammy P breaks down the huge Georgia-Alabama showdown and gives his best bets for this weekend's college football and NFL slates.
Los Angeles Chargers tackle Rashawn Slater was placed on injured reserve Friday after having right ankle surgery.
Mike Ditka is a football icon. A great player, coach and person who impacted NFL society. Here's a look at the Bears' legend's career.
Eagles running back Saquon Barkley and receiver DeVonta Smith have been ruled out of Sunday's game against the Jacksonville Jaguars in London because of hamstring injuries.
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the Los Angeles Dodgers and Milwaukee Brewers NLCS game.
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the NFL Week 5 San Francisco 49ers and Seattle Seahawks game.
Todd Bowles' seat is still warm, but he has earned the right to get the Buccaneers out of their early hole.
Ravens' quarterback Lamar Jackson has officially been ruled out for Week 5 against the Falcons. Tyler Huntley will start in his place.
See the complete NFL Week 5 schedule, TV channels and streaming details for all 15 games, plus previews of the top matchups including six FOX games.
Tech
Morale at one of the most reviled companies in America appears to be at an all time low.
The automaker has been criticized for misleading drivers with the feature’s name. Now it’s renaming it for European regulators.
Thankfully, it does not seem to have diverted police resources.
Workers at three major publishing houses tell WIRED that LLMs are being used for publicity, cover art, back cover copy, and emails, as some execs push junior staff to champion the tech.
The data drop includes photographs, audio, video, and astronauts’ notes that will be used to study the moon and prepare for future human missions.
Bose's latest soundbar pulls double duty as both a TV and music speaker. Plus, it doesn't need a separate subwoofer for adequate bass.
If you guessed the RAMpocalypse is involved...
Staying in the tech-infused trailer can kind of feel like being in a spaceship - in a good way.
The Justice Department is considering a perjury and obstruction-of-justice case against Cassidy Hutchinson, a former White House aide who testified against Donald Trump to the January 6 committee.
Apple’s original music player got many things right. Chief among them: It didn’t connect to the internet.
Astronomers used the Webb telescope to see where the farthest fast radio burst we've ever seen had come from.
The company is reportedly rebooting its smart home ambitions with a smart display and a whole bunch of other accessories.
Anthropic is offering open-source projects a new way to check for vulnerabilities with its OSS Scanner.
Relationship coaches, TikTokers, and disgruntled singles alike frequently shame bad profiles, as more apps experiment with blocking screenshots.
Apple’s Mac desktops have become some of the most sought-after computers this year, driven by surging interest in agentic AI. Here’s which model to buy depending on your use case.
Netflix releases trailer for its miniseries about Sam Bankman-Fried's scandal-ridden crypto exchange
Watch the trailer for Netflix's The Altruists, a mini-series about the rise and fall of cryptocurrency exchange FTX.
It’s finally time to ditch the gas canister—I tested these cordless leaf blowers on gravel, wood chips, and even a 5-pound concrete paver.
In its 26th season premiere, the procedural legal drama paints a damning picture of power-mad AI CEOs.
Meta has placed a complete ban on ads and marketing from TikTok's US minority owner, ByteDance.
Castelion—a next-generation defense tech company—is building a facility in Rio Rancho Estates that documents show could pose a major fire and chemical hazard to neighboring communities.
Entertainment
Sofía Vergara might be taking a subtle dig at her ex-husband, Joe Manganiello, with her social media activity ... sharing a post about narcissistic men after he trashed her in his new memoir. Here's the deal ... Sofia's son -- Manolo --…
The ICE shooting that left a man in the hospital and sparked protests in New York City was caught on video ... and it shows agents rushing up to the car seemingly with weapons ready. Video of the incident is now circulating online ... and it shows…
Panama was rocked by a massive earthquake Friday ... causing massive damage and triggering tsunami warnings. According to the U.S. Geological Survey, the country was hit by a whopping 7.7-magnitude quake, with an epicenter that was just over 7…
Keep calm and lace up Camila Cabello and Layla Taylor on this fine n' frisky Friday -- both lovely ladies sported corsets, but which gal wore it best?! Who's your fave ... Camila's white-hot corset, or Layla's lacy n' racy corset?! The question…
The alleged attempted hijacker who authorities say planned to crash a plane into an airport in Israel was apparently inspired to become a pilot because of 9/11. The United Arab Emirates’ Attorney General Hamad Saif Al Shamsi released a statement…
Rodney Muñoz -- a longtime Hollywood costume designer known for his work on "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" -- is dead. Jimmy Kimmel announced Rodney's death Friday in a social media post ... calling him a "dear friend." The cause and manner of death are…
12:56 PM PT -- President Donald Trump announced on Truth Social that Katie Zacharia has officially been appointed White House Press Secretary. He says he is confident she "will deliver strong results for our Country." Katie Zacharia -- a…
Vice President JD Vance is casting doubt on whether the Pentagon will follow through with plans to livestream the execution of Fort Hood shooter Nidal Malik Hasan ... but if it does happen, he won't be tuning in. "I don't know that that's actually…
Landlords really have no shame ... because the person who was renting out a home to Gypsy Rose Blanchard's baby dad, Ken Urker, asked his family for rent ... one week after Ken died. Urker family sources tell TMZ ... Ken's relatives cleaned out the…
Mike Ditka transcended sports ... so it's no surprise that famous fans from across the country, from football to politics, are paying homage to the Hall of Famer. Lions head coach Dan Campbell says he "loved" Ditka, and recalled a hilarious…
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