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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
New research from UCLA links prolonged exposure to the pesticide chlorpyrifos to increased Parkinson’s risk, with supporting evidence from both human and animal studies.
A complaint with the Federal Election Commission is asking regulators to investigate Nebraska Senate hopeful Dan Osborn over $434,734 in campaign and PAC payments to five relatives and himself.
Oregon man Diedrich Holgate was re-arrested after allegedly texting threats to kill President Trump to his probation officer.
Soaring jet fuel prices tied to Middle East tensions have airlines warning of higher airfares and potential flight cancellations in the weeks ahead.
Sen. Chuck Schumer clashed with Joe Scarborough on Monday over whether degrading Iran's military is a good thing, as Schumer argued gas prices and recession risks matter more.
As the DHS shutdown enters its 37th day, GOP Rep. Carlos Gimenez says Trump’s plan to use ICE agents at airports will "speed up the process" for frustrated American travelers.
Video allegedly shows "Reacher" star Alan Ritchson throwing punches at his Tennessee neighbor while his kids watched the violent altercation unfold.
The Republicans should tie Homeland Security shutdown funding to the voter ID SAVE America Act, President Donald Trump urged Monday in Memphis.
The New York Giants have reportedly been valued at $10.8 billion as the Tisch family seeks to transfer a 23.1% equity stake worth about $2.5 billion to a children's trust.
Conservative Supreme Court justices appeared skeptical during oral arguments of allowing states to continue counting late-arriving mail-in ballots. A decision is expected in June.
Satire
RACCOON CITY — Maintaining some semblance of his humanity, a grotesque boss monster located in an underground laboratory helpfully left plenty of health and ammo in the room right before anyone comes to fight him.
U.S. — The Transportation Security Administration announced this morning that it would be ending the practice of performing colonoscopies on travelers at airports around the country in an effort to speed up security lines amidst the ongoing partial government shutdown.
SÃO PAULO—In an effort to rectify the misunderstanding between the young girl, the girls’ parents, and herself, pop star Chappell Roan kidnapped the 11-year-old fan who was upset by a security guard while in São Paulo to attend Lollapalooza Brasil, sources reported Monday. “People think I ha
U.S. — Separate from his work as the nation's commander in chief, President Donald Trump announced that he was releasing a line of specialty sympathy cards he had written himself.
WASHINGTON—Declaring that the United States would no longer bear the full burden of screwing the pooch on a global level, President Donald Trump issued a statement Monday demanding U.S. allies do their fair share to help fuck up the world. “The United States contributes far more to worldwide suf
With the tug-of-war over funding for the Department of Homeland Security leaving the Transportation Security Administration short on agents, getting through airport security is an even bigger nightmare than before.
ATLANTA—Hoping to provide clarity to consumers about their company’s food production standards, Chick-fil-A officials announced Monday that the two halves of each bun served in their restaurants must be married before becoming a sandwich. “In accordance with Chick-fil-A’s values, the bread
SAN FERNANDO, CA — An existing scandal was made even worse over the weekend, as a statue of the late union laborist and political activist Cesar Chavez allegedly groped a young woman as it was being taken down.
STANLEY, ID — A paddleboat ride at a local lake resulted in about seven seconds of enjoyment for a local couple, followed by twenty minutes of pain, work, sweat, and regret, sources revealed.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a promising sign that the weeks-long conflict in the Middle East could soon be over, President Donald Trump postponed strikes against Iran until all of its leaders assembled in one place again for a meeting.
Markwayne Mullin has been nominated to succeed Kristi Noem as the secretary of homeland security. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the senator from Oklahoma. Ethnicity: Brother-in-Law Raised By: Momwayne, Dadwayne Known For: Being forcibly dragged off your flight Humanizing Quality
Spotting the big brown eyes that peeped out from a shelf of stuffed animal toys, a traveler browsing in a Tasmanian airport gift shop discovered a real Australian brushtail possum nestled among the plush marsupials. What do you think?
The post Live Possum Found Hiding Among Gift Shop Plush Animal To
The Food and Drug Administration canceled a plan to regulate tanning salons that would have prohibited anyone under 18 from using a tanning bed and required adults to sign a waiver acknowledging the risks of skin cancer. What do you think?
The post FDA Withdraws Proposed Rule Barring Minors From Usi
WASHINGTON—Opening his eyes after nodding off for several minutes at his desk in the Oval Office, President Donald Trump is said to have awoken Friday from a beautiful dream about kissing an underage girl only to find himself being licked in the face by a St. Bernard. “Oh yeah, Vanessa, I love h
The post Suspect Waits Patiently While Cop Sounds Out Miranda Rights appeared first on The Onion.
JUDEA — With his fellow apostle scoring nicknames from Jesus like "The Rock" and "Sons of Thunder", the Apostle James admitted to feeling a tad bit disappointed with being christened "The Lesser".
Tallahassee Memorial Healthcare sued a patient who refused to depart her room after being discharged last October, claiming she is diverting resources that could be used to help others. What do you think?
The post Florida Hospital Sues To Evict Patient Discharged 5 Months Ago appeared first on The O
A bipartisan group of Oregon lawmakers approved $2.1 million to buy the 92-foot-tall Abiqua Falls after it was put up for sale on Redifin, the previous Benedictine monk owners having put the natural wonder on the market earlier this year. What do you think?
The post Lawmakers Buy Waterfall On Redfin
Sports
How do the teams in Monday's second round match up? We're tracking all eight games as the Sweet 16 is set.
We're breaking down all eight games Monday as teams book their trip to the regionals.
Let's look at the largest contracts from 2013 to 2022 to see how often megadeals meet expectations, from Tom Brady to Brock Osweiler.
Who will take home the SoFi Cup in Year 2? It's Los Angeles Golf Club vs. Jupiter Links GC for the championship.
How would the first round of the 2026 NFL Draft go if all college players were eligible? Joel Klatt projects the first round in his All-College Football Mock Draft.
All the rankings, projections, cheat sheets, strategy and analysis you need for the 2026 fantasy baseball season.
The Patriots informed backup quarterback Joshua Dobbs of their intention to release him, sources told ESPN.
Oklahoma linebacker Owen Heinecke has filed a lawsuit against the NCAA seeking a preliminary injunction for an additional year of eligibility. He is asking for a ruling before next month's NFL draft.
Charlotte has hired Wes Miller as men's basketball coach following his dismissal at Cincinnati earlier this month.
Karim Lopez, who spent two seasons in the Australian NBL, has declared for the NBA draft and is poised to become the first player born in Mexico to be picked in the first round.
The NCAA tournament is off to its best start since CBS and TNT began showing all of the games in 2011.
From teammates to foes? Here's how NASCAR drivers approach old racing relationships.
With Alec Pierce's new deal, here's a list of the highest-paid wide receivers in the NFL.
See how far Tyler Reddick moved up the NASCAR championship oddsboard after winning four of the first six races of the season.
Key insights on the Jaylen Waddle trade, Justin Fields' fit in Kansas City, the Cowboys' suspiciously quiet offseason and more.
Jaxon Smith-Njigba was the latest player to become the highest-paid star at their respective position.
All four 1-seeds will not make up this year's Final Four. See the latest odds with the defending champions at home.
Two rounds down, four to go. Check out the men's NCAA title odds heading into the Sweet 16.
Bettors were getting the best of the books ... until they weren't. Patrick Everson breaks down how the dust settled after the Tournamen's first weekend.
Check out the odds for each men's NCAA Tournament Sweet 16 game, as well as what to know about the matchups.
Tech
First heard as US and Israeli strikes on Iran began, the shortwave broadcast has since been traced to a US military base in Germany—but its purpose and its operator remain unclear.
Apple is reportedly planning on inserting ads into the Maps app, according to Bloomberg's Mark Gurman. An announcement could come as soon as this month, with the ads themselves appearing on iPhones this summer.
This will likely work similarly to ads in Google Maps and Yelp, which lets retailers and
Wing's drone deliveries are coming full circle after adding Bay Area to its service locations. The drone delivery startup has been rapidly expanding to metro areas across the US, but is now targeting the tech-friendly Silicon Valley region.
Going back to its inaugural deliveries, Wing ferried office
Do you need a pair of cheap earbuds? These JLabs are the ones.
Apple announced that this year's Worldwide Developers Conference (WWDC) will take place from June 8-12. The company tends to be consistent with event timing, so it's no surprise that CEO Tim Cook will take the stage for the keynote on June 8, most likely at 1PM ET.
Much of WWDC will take place onl
Agents from ICE are being deployed to over a dozen airports around the country, including New York, Atlanta, and Chicago.
At the Polymarket pop-up in DC, attendees were supposed to be able to bet on geopolitical crises in real time with their friends. That didn’t happen.
Polymarket announced that it's taking insider trading more seriously. Seen in its latest press release, the prediction market updated its market integrity rules, specifically those concerning insider trading and market manipulation. While Polymarket is taking the initiative to update its rules, it's
Leonid Radvinsky, the billionaire owner of OnlyFans, has died. He passed "peacefully after a long battle with cancer" at age 43, according to a statement from the platform published by Forbes. He was born in Ukraine, but grew up in Chicago.
Radvinsky didn't create OnlyFans. He purchased it back in 2
The premise seems simple enough. LG promises that you can set its Sound Suite speakers anywhere and Dolby’s home theater tech will make them perform well. The soundbar, subwoofer and speakers don’t have to go in prescribed locations for the best results, which means you can place them where you
When the Uber Black isn't premium enough, New Yorkers now have the option to call for a Wheely instead. Whimsical name aside, the London-based company is breaking into the US market by offering its chauffeur-hailing services to residents of New York City first, as first reported by Bloomberg. Think
Microsoft has locked in its second games showcase of the year. A Xbox Partner Preview stream will take place on March 26 at 1PM ET. It'll be available on the Xbox YouTube and Twitch channels. There'll be dedicated Twitch and YouTube streams with ASL interpretation, another featuring British Sign Lan
I’ve been reviewing laptops for over a decade, and this is my sincere advice on how to find the right laptop for you.
As Google promised, Apple AirDrop sharing is expanding to more Android devices. Samsung announced today that its Galaxy S26 Series is getting AirDrop support through the Quick Share feature.
Google first introduced the Quick Share feature on its Pixel 10 phones last year and, in February, shared pla
Between pickup artists and juvenile pranksters, the wearable device is becoming associated with pests of all kinds.
Wondering what you’re missing out on? Here are our favorite smartphones that aren’t officially sold stateside but are available in markets like the UK and Europe.
In a place denied access to basic forensic technology—and where people disappear into Israeli detention—the fate of thousands remains unknown. One of them is an autistic teenager.
For families of the missing, systemic obstacles to identifying remains and locating people in Israeli detention has created a kind of social and legal purgatory.
In its early days, the AI initiative known as Project Maven had its fair share of skeptics at the Pentagon. Today, many of them are true believers.
The developer behind the open-world RPG Crimson Desert has issued an official apology after players discovered several instances of AI-generated art in the game. Pearl Abyss posted on X that it released the game with some 2D visual props that were made with "experimental AI generative tools" and for
Entertainment
The guy "Reacher" star Alan Ritchson beat up on video is explaining how the fight started in the first place ... telling us he thought Alan was driving in an unsafe manner. Ronnie Taylor -- the guy on video getting his butt kicked by Alan -- joined…
Hours before ICE officers were officially deployed at airports across the U.S. to assist TSA, bystanders recorded federal agents manhandling a mother travelling with her daughter and putting the woman in handcuffs at San Francisco International…
Gypsy Rose Blanchard is well aware of the backlash after she participated in a viral TikTok challenge ... and she's realized it went pretty damn poorly. Here's the deal ... Gypsy has been flamed online since she seemingly made light of her mother's…
Iowa star Alvaro Folgueiras knocked down the biggest shot of the NCAA Tourney, sending home the defending champion, and number one seed Florida Gators -- and the 20-year-old is walking TMZ Sports through the insane moment! Folgueiras and his…
Jenna Dewan says she had wild, crazy, and insanely amazing times clubbing with Janet Jackson when she was barely legal. In a guest appearance on the "Chicks in The Office" podcast, Jenna recalled her crazy club-hopping days as a backup dancer on…
Bill Cosby just took a huge loss in court today ... a jury reportedly awarded $19.25 million to Donna Motsinger after she alleged the comedian drugged and raped her in 1972. Jurors reportedly found Cosby liable for sexual assault and sexual…
She's known to have a "Culpo" of famous sisters, but can you guess which one is showin' off the bump?!? The popular influencer recently shared a poolside pic in a stringy green bikini ... talk about being ready for the warm weather☀️! Hit up…
Tekashi 6ix9ine was on the phone with his girlfriend, Aliday Alzugaray, from jail on Friday while Aliday was watching a woman allegedly trying to break into their home ... this according to a police report. According to the report, obtained by TMZ,…
We want you to be a part of TMZ, so every weekday, between 10:30 AM and 12:00 PM PT, we take you inside our newsroom via live stream. You never know what you're gonna get ... a big story that breaks, an argument erupts in the room, or someone's…
While Jessi Draper's marriage may be ending, life goes on. "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" star was snapped shopping with her mom, Diana Draper, and her daughter Jovi on Sunday ... and we have the pics. As you can see, Jessi stepped out sans…
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