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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Abdul El-Sayed dodged questions about his Hasan Piker ties while meeting with Democratic brass at the DSCC after his heated Michigan primary.
Baltimore Orioles starter Shane Baz took a 105.1 mph line drive off his elbow from New York Mets third baseman Bo Bichette in a scary scene on Tuesday.
A LinkedIn romance scam cost Gaby close to $1 million after a scammer returned her first payment to build trust, then escalated requests over two years.
After three Grammys, a Grand Ole Opry membership and his divorce from Bunnie Xo, Jelly Roll says he may walk away from country music for good.
Texas moves to shut down police department over failure to provide 'public benefit to the community'
TCOLE is revoking the Trinidad Police Department's authority to employ officers after finding the agency failed to meet minimum state standards.
Keenan Allen faces DUI charges after registering a 0.15 ACE following an Indianapolis Colts preseason game, nearly twice the legal limit.
Joe Rogan said on "The Joe Rogan Experience" that AI should govern foreign policy and end wars, but Amy Kremer says machines lack accountability.
Eric Flores calls James Talarico's reversal on gender surgery and "God is nonbinary" comments proof that Texas Democrats lack a record to run on.
Mohammed Sharifullah admitted to surveilling a route for the Abbey Gate suicide bomber during the chaotic 2021 Afghanistan withdrawal period.
The State Department accused the International Criminal Court of targeting Americans while ignoring atrocities by Iran, North Korea and Syria.
Satire
As a proud, hardworking American, I demand a certain amount of respect. I had hoped to spend part of my morning patronizing this small, locally owned café with the purchase of a coffee and pastry. But instead, I have been rudely informed that my money is not acceptable here, apparently for no other
The anxieties of the surface world are unceasing. Leave them behind and retreat into a subterranean existence. Dimensions unknown. Reference #547834
The post Hole appeared first on The Onion.
The couple finally said “I do” after several months of saying “Why the fuck are we doing this if we can’t even agree on a cake?”
The post Emily Sadori and Caroline Fry appeared first on The Onion.
GAZA — In a bold act of solidarity, Grammy-winning rapper Macklemore staged a surprise rooftop concert in Gaza on Wednesday, performing his gay anthem "Same Love," before being promptly thrown off the roof by terrorists.
DHARAMSHALA, INDIA—Touting it as an exciting limited engagement that would precede his next official reincarnation, His Holiness the Dalai Lama announced Wednesday that after his death he would participate in a one-year residency inside the body of Bruno Mars. “While I am proud to have served T
Raising a toddler can be a challenge, but entertaining your toddler can be even more difficult. It's not uncommon for parents to run out of ideas for ways to keep kids busy. The Babylon Bee is here to help.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — One of the mainstays of America's legislative branch was once again seen roaming the corridors of the U.S. Capitol building, as Mitch McConnell returned to the Senate as a Force ghost.
SAVANNAH, GA — Fans at Sunday's Savannah Bananas game at historic Grayson Stadium were shocked to see an element of seriousness infiltrate their beloved sport, as Manager Tyler Gilum publicly chewed out one of his players for not goofing around.
LOS ANGELES, CA — Scandal struck Hollywood this week, as actress and businesswoman Sydney Sweeney attempted to gain support among liberal women by murdering multiple children.
RICHMOND, VA—Feeling the half-chewed contents of their stomachs roil as they retched into their napkins, guests at a local dinner party began gagging Tuesday as their host revealed that they had been eating USDA beef. “I do hope you’ve been enjoying those steaks and that they’ve been prepare
A blind man in the U.K. who drove his wife’s car 150 miles while drunk avoided prison time, despite not even having a license. What do you think?
The post Blind Man Who Drove 150 Miles Drunk Avoids Jail appeared first on The Onion.
U.S. — According to a new study conducted by the Barna Group, a majority of Christians were likely to replace the Holy Spirit with ChatGPT by the year 2028.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a landmark decision just weeks before people head to the polls to vote in the midterms, the United States Supreme Court ruled that securing elections was unconstitutional.
ROME — The Apostle Paul reportedly expressed anxiety that believers might scrutinize the details of his epistle to the Ephesians and notice that the Armor of God does not include pants.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In his latest attempt to entice voters to turn out for the November midterm elections, President Donald Trump announced on Tuesday that he was promising to bring back $5 footlongs if Republicans retained control of both houses of Congress.
The family of Katherine Lee, 35, asks that in lieu of flowers, mourners send any guesses about what her passwords might be.
The post Katherine Lee appeared first on The Onion.
CONCORD, MA—As he expressed alarm at still not having reached the title’s open world, local gamer Rudy Kelleher confirmed Tuesday that the prologue of his recently purchased video game was still going. “Christ, it’s been an hour and a half since I booted this thing up, and I’m still wande
NEW YORK—In an urgent step intended to protect customers and humanity itself from the company’s flagship product, Casper Sleep announced Tuesday an immediate recall of mattresses that won’t stop expanding once unboxed. “In response to thousands of reports of our mattresses inflating catastr
The post Virtuoso Grasshopper Absolutely Wailing On Leg appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
Colts wide receiver Keenan Allen was formally charged with two misdemeanor drunken driving charges on Wednesday.
The LSU-Ole Miss rivalry took another dramatic turn Tuesday when Tigers star defensive end Princewill Umanmielen was served with court papers related to the Rebels' lawsuit against him, according to court records.
Browns quarterback Deshaun Watson said Wednesday that his focus is on getting a win in Week 2, not his job security or the potential fan reception awaiting him in the team's home opener in Week 3.
Falcons coach Kevin Stefanski said he's "not ruling anybody out" when it comes to which QB is starting against the Panthers on Sunday.
The United States was eliminated in the round of 16 at the 2026 U20 Women's World Cup on Wednesday after falling to Brazil, 5-4 in a shootout. The teams played to a 1-1 draw through 120 minutes.
Texas QB Arch Manning has apologized for an "insensitive comment" about an AI-generated video that depicted coach Steve Sarkisian slapping ESPN's Holly Rowe.
Pete Alonso launched his 300th career home run, a tying shot in the ninth inning against his former team that earned a curtain call, and Coby Mayo's inside-the-park homer in the 11th sent the Orioles to a 7-5 victory over the Mets.
Who are the top teams ahead of Week 2? Plus, we highlight a standout newcomer from each roster.
The Devils are hiring former Kraken assistant coach Jessica Campbell as manager of player development and longtime Panthers executive Bryan McCabe as vice president of prospect personnel, sources told ESPN.
The Florida State linebacker spent a month in a coma. It wasn't clear he'd ever wake up. Now, he's looking to play football again.
There are a few team betting streaks — good ones and bad ones — that are taking place in the NFL right now. Check 'em out.
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Tech
Premium Advanced users will get an early access build "in the coming weeks."
Anthropic is adding the ability to create docs, slideshow and access Cowork capabilities inside chat. It will roll out to Pro and Max subscribers first.
The burrito chain has enlisted Palantir for a platform that monitors pest incidents, employee illnesses, and other factors. The partnership comes after a nightmare summer for food safety across the US.
Features that debuted on foldables, such as My FanCam, are coming to more devices.
More details on the company's chunky smart glasses are expected today.
Meta is making the platform even better for podcast promotion.
Apple Reference Image is like giving your photos a tamper-proof seal.
The yardstick that all phones, including the Duo, will be measured by.
Fun camera features help make these candy bar iPhones stand out from the dazzle of the folding iPhone Duo.
Shopping for a phone can be an ordeal. That’s why we’ve tested almost every Android phone, from the smartest to the cheapest—even phones that fold—to find the ones worth your money.
The world's first toaster that works on color instead of time is great. But is it $300 great?
Sony has introduced the PlayStation Pulse and Pulse Edge headsets, which feature planar magnetic drivers.
A hacker collective pulled down a Flock camera and dumped its data. The files included thousands of videos and logs showing that the device captured 1.6 million images of 50,000 vehicles in 21 days.
The app is the best way to read, watch, and listen to WIRED’s journalism.
The bloc wants to curb Big Tech’s grip on children with its new EU Kids Act, but age checks, parental oversight, and privacy concerns could make its plan difficult to implement.
My hands-on tests reveal which models can scrub stains, reach difficult corners, and navigate a chaotic home.
Lie down in a car, and you’re more likely to get seriously hurt in a crash. But a driverless future is forcing governments to revisit long-standing safety issues.
The e-paper device maker also launched two new color digital notebooks last night, the Note Air6 C and Mini C.
The US and China agree that advanced AI poses serious risks. But Beijing is deeply skeptical of a deal that prioritizes keeping US companies ahead.
Boox has unveiled three new E Ink devices, including the Palma 3.
Entertainment
Internal discussions in the Los Angeles Mayor's Office and the California Attorney General's Office were told Paramount would announce it was leaving California, but there's a twist ... sources tell TMZ. We're told the Mayor and the A.G. were told…
Rep. Randy Fine is firing back at the free-speech defense of Macklemore ... saying the rapper can spew all the "antisemitic garbage" he wants, but nobody has to give him a stage. Charlie caught up with the Florida congressman Wednesday, one day…
Carmen Electra is back in the booth and working on a new song ... years after the late, great Prince mentored her in music, TMZ has learned. Carmen recently stopped by Fab Factory Studios in North Hollywood to hop on the mic for the first time in…
Olivia Jade Giannulli's leaning into the embarrassing college admissions scandal that changed her life ... posing for several academic-themed pics -- including a couple of scandalous ones -- for a good cause. One photo showed the star wearing a…
Former 'Bachelor' host Chris Harrison is heading back to TV to help a lucky guy find true -- and traditional -- love ... five years after he left the ABC franchise ... and he's shading his old gig in the promo for his new job. FOX Nation just…
An NBC helicopter carrying one of their reporters crashed in Los Angeles, killing the journalist, her pilot, and a pedestrian ... and a live stream captured the final moments before the fiery impact. Check out the new YouTube collab between TMZ and…
Lindsay Clancy's bringing in some big guns to try and get her case dismissed ... because it looks like she's tapped Karen Read's lawyer for the job. Attorney Martin Weinberg filed a "notice of limited appearance" with Plymouth Superior Court on…
Charli XCX brought Brat Summer to the water for Playboy ... stripping down and posing topless while riding a barge down a famous waterway in the United Kingdom. The singer-songwriter posed for the iconic magazine in a cover story published…
Drake's switching up the drip ... and it's straight out of Hot Topic ... as he takes a cue from his goth baddie. The rapper switched up his whole look alongside Pinkchyu for the "Princess" music video, which played during his "FOMO" stream Tuesday…
Travis Kelce knows a thing or two about taking hits ... but prosecutors say the Chiefs superstar got walloped off the field too -- in a massive Ponzi scheme. Kelce was named in federal court Tuesday as one of the people burned by Siddharth Jawahar,…
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