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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Archbishop Timothy Broglio urged Catholic soldiers to refuse firing squad duty in the planned execution of Nidal Hasan, calling the livestream barbaric.
A supporter of President Donald Trump punched a heckler wearing a "Release the Epstein Files" shirt at the president's Youngstown, Ohio, rally.
The Buffalo Bills outlasted the Los Angeles Rams, 37-34, in overtime after a blocked field goal and Tyler Bass' clutch kick sealed the wild finish.
Jose Ramirez's clutch ninth-inning single sparked a four-run Cleveland Guardians rally that broke open ALCS Game 1 against the Tampa Bay Rays.
Asante Samuel ripped Nick Sirianni for skipping a squib kick that let the Jacksonville Jaguars set up a walk-off field goal to stun the Eagles.
A New York man pleaded guilty to second-degree murder after he admitted that he murdered and dismembered his ex-girlfriend and kept her severed head in a suitcase.
Matthew Golden crashed into a Bears coach on the NFC North sideline, and Cairo Santos' attempted trip in response quickly went viral after the rout.
Disney's latest filing accused the FCC on Monday of using early broadcast license renewals to dodge judicial review and exert coercive pressure on ABC.
Milwaukee's BABIP machine and unhittable bullpen put the Los Angeles Dodgers' three-peat hopes on life support with a commanding 2-0 NLCS lead.
Cheryl Reeve won WNBA Executive of the Year for a third time, but the Lynx's historic first-round playoff sweep raises questions about the honor.
Satire
COLLEGE STATION, TX — Off work for Columbus Day, local man Clay Taylor headed out to the golf course for a relaxing afternoon cursing himself and the day he was brought into this world.
Federal agents raided Congresswoman Ilhan Omar's home on Monday as part of an investigation into potential immigration fraud. According to highly placed government sources, what agents recovered at the scene will shock you to your very core.
AUSTIN, TX — Despite overwhelming evidence, a local fringe conspiracy theorist continued to insist that U.S. Senate hopeful James Talarico wasn't insane.
U.S. — Theologians from across the country signed onto a joint paper arguing that the existence of the Minas Tirith LEGO set proves beyond all doubt that God loves us and wants to give us good things.
NEW YORK, NY — The mayor's office announced on Monday that any ICE agents who cross the border into the city without permission would be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
BOUNTIFUL, UT — A local runner made history Tuesday by completing a 26.2-mile marathon without ever posting a single update about his training schedule to Facebook.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As public debate continued over the scheduled live-streaming of terrorist Nidal Hasan's death by firing squad, President Donald Trump told liberals who are uncomfortable with public executions to just imagine that it's a healthcare CEO.
BISMARCK, ND—Admitting that it had let the other 49 states do “pretty much all of the heavy lifting,” North Dakota issued a formal apology Tuesday for contributing nothing to the nation’s greatness. “Look, we acknowledge that we don’t exactly bring much to the table besides being a cold
NEW YORK—Condemning the semiaquatic seabirds’ heretical acts as an affront to the principles the organization was founded to sustain, Audubon Society officials released a statement Monday formally excommunicating penguins. “These flightless beasts have committed acts of unforgivable schism aga
In the Russian city of Irkutsk, the death of a plague researcher from a mysterious illness has stoked fears of an outbreak. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the emerging situation. Q: What is the Irkutsk Anti-Plague Research Institute? A: An on-the-nose alibi. Q: Should I be worrie
The post Marathoner Already Pissing Self Half-Mile In appeared first on The Onion.
In what would be the nation’s first public execution in 90 years, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced the Pentagon would livestream Fort Hood shooter Nidal Hasan’s death by firing squad. What do you think?
The post Pentagon To Livestream Firing Squad Execution appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Calling the attention the incident was receiving yet another example of liberal media bias, the White House downplayed on Friday the fact that a hyena was currently biting down on the ass of President Donald Trump. “No one should be surprised that all the scrutiny from the mainstream
GREENSBORO, NC—Growing increasingly whimsical as she unearthed the memory from decades ago, local grandma Agatha Fuller fondly recalled Friday how she had once worked with a homosexual. “His name was Alexander, never Alex, and his hair and his suit were always immaculate,” said Fuller, reminis
WASHINGTON—Vowing to use the full force of the bureau to crack down on anyone who thwarted the values and aims of the United States through such an act, FBI Director Kash Patel formally classified not finishing a hamburger as seditious activity Thursday. “Let me say this loud and clear: Failing
Sixteen years after the release of The Social Network, follow-up film The Social Reckoning is coming to theaters. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the sequel. Q: Who’s the writer and director? A: Aaron Sorkin and, unfortunately, Aaron Sorkin. Q: What’s it about? A: As fans will
DNA analysis of a lock of Thomas Jefferson’s hair has provided the strongest genetic evidence yet that he did in fact father at least one child with the enslaved woman Sally Hemings, as has long been speculated. What do you think?
The post DNA Provides More Evidence Thomas Jefferson Fathered Chi
Sports
The Dodgers will gauge whether Shohei Ohtani's lingering injuries warrant him sitting out but will keep playing him if he deems himself healthy, a source said.
FIFA president Gianni Infantino appears to have breached FIFA regulations after an IRS filing revealed an undisclosed $1.72 million pay package on top of his declared salary for 2024.
Getting to the Los Angeles bullpen in the later innings, the Milwaukee Brewers posted 12 hits, including 10 singles, in Game 2 on Monday, scoring four runs in the final four frames en route to a 7-4 win over the Dodgers to take a 2-0 series lead.
Following big wins and multiple upsets in Week 6, here are our postseason projections.
On the field after the Los Angeles Rams' 37-34 overtime loss to the Buffalo Bills on Monday night, Rams left tackle Alaric Jackson punched Bills outside linebacker Bradley Chubb in a scene captured by ESPN's cameras at SoFi Stadium.
Josh Allen came through with his usual late-game theatrics in leading the Bills to a 37-34 overtime win against the Rams on "Monday Night Football," breaking his careerlong winless streak in OT.
The Guardians' pitching held the Rays to one run over the final eight innings while their offense took over in a 7-3 win in Game 1 of the American League Championship Series on Monday night.
After the Rams missed a field goal attempt and had another blocked in Monday night's 37-34 overtime loss to the Bills, coach Sean McVay said Los Angeles will "evaluate everything" about the kicking unit.
Oregon coach Dan Lanning said defensive tackle Bear Alexander didn't mean to injure UCLA QB Nico Iamaleava with his attempt to punch at the football.
Milwaukee came in believing its NLCS rematch with L.A. would be different. Now the rest of the world believes it, too.
A trio of unheralded players who joined midseason have embraced the Guardians' tight-knit clubhouse.
Drake Maye makes the cut for a second straight week, while a key free-agent signing is proving to be huge in San Francisco.
The Brewers don't look fazed, while the Dodgers are looking for ways to salvage this series.
The Chiefs have returned to form and the Niners are taking control of the NFC West. See the latest NFL postseason odds.
A certain truth is emerging in the NFL, while the Cowboys' flaw run deeper than we thought they did.
The Rams have company atop the oddsboard after a heartbreaking loss to Buffalo. See the latest Super Bowl odds after Week 5.
Here are our takeaways from the Bills' thrilling win over the Rams.
The Guardians, on the strength of their MVP-caliber stars, stole Game 1 on the road.
We break down the Best and Worst of the NFL in Week 5, featuring an epic NFC West slugfest and a chaotic NFC East blunder fest.
The pennant races are as close as can be now that we've reached baseball's final four. See the latest odds.
Tech
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Save 30% or 10% with Samsung coupon codes, up to $1,000 on appliances, plus limited-time deals on the Galaxy Z Fold7, Flip7, and S25.
Android phones can be had at many different price points, but the most important features aren't always found in the cheapest available devices.
With an older GPU, you'll need to go without some of the fancy features, but you can still enjoy high frame rates with the right changes.
Your old hard drives still have some live left in them.
Spark is Google's AI tool that can perform tasks on your behalf.
Blurry iPhone photos can come down to more than just a dirty lens. Here's how to expertly sharpen your shots and fine-tune your camera settings.
Developers were apparently ordered to use AI for both code and asset creation.
The models add "active memory" and "active focus" abilities.
Xandr has three weeks to appeal the record penalty.
See if Amazon thinks you have "flat buttocks."
Alkaline and lithium-ion batteries serve very different purposes. Here's how they compare on lifespan, cost, rechargeability, and everyday use.
Entertainment
Before this cute boy in overalls was a shining star in Hollywood, he was just flippin' around in gymnastics class at 2 years old, and taking interest in musical theater ... In 2017, he took home the Mirrorball Trophy with partner Lindsay Arnold.…
"Dancing with the Stars" pro Gleb Savchenko is making some disturbing allegations about how his ex-wife treats their teenage daughter ... and he's asking a judge to step in. According to court docs, obtained by TMZ, Gleb claims his 15-year-old…
Bryan Cranston is mourning the devastating loss of his TV son RJ Mitte ... saying he's in "deep despair" following the "Breaking Bad" star's death. Bryan posted a photo of him and RJ together and wrote in an emotional tribute "I'm in deep despair…
Influencer Gracie Bon is getting torn to shreds on social media after seemingly turning the Panama earthquake into a photo op. As you know, the country was rocked by a 7.7 earthquake last week, causing a ton of damage. Gracie shared snaps of…
Selma Blair’s lawyer is offering a new explanation for the actress’s alleged violent meltdown aboard a Delta flight … claiming several missed doses of medication, and a head injury, are to blame. During Blair’s arraignment in criminal court…
RJ Mitte's death brought a heavy police presence to his Texas neighborhood ... and we've obtained video showing cops outside the home where the "Breaking Bad" star was found dead. In footage obtained by TMZ, multiple police cars can be seen parked…
Kacey Musgraves is letting Kristi Noem have it after the ex-Secretary of Homeland Security threw some shade her way. Noem had attempted to pit the country singer against rising star Ella Langley while endorsing Texas' conservative senate hopeful…
Selma Blair has been arraigned in connection with her airport arrest and charged with assault, TMZ has learned. TMZ obtained court docs that say Blair's being charged with 2 counts of second-degree assault for allegedly attacking a police officer…
"Big Brother" alum Amber Siyavus had a string of legal troubles in the years before her death ... including felony convictions for forgery and a wild run-in with police. According to court docs, obtained by TMZ, Amber pleaded guilty in 2020 to…
Mark Wahlberg just dropped a major bombshell ... telling TMZ that "Entourage" just might make a comeback!!! We got it straight from the horse's mouth when we got Mark at AVRA in Beverly Hills ... Marky Mark says the guys' return isn't off the…
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