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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Aryna Sabalenka stopped her US Open match to complain about weed smoke, telling the umpire the smell was "so strong" during her third-round win.
Success Academy filed a First Amendment lawsuit after Betty Rosa blocked AP exam data from U.S. News rankings, tanking its rank from 11th to 196th.
Norah O'Donnell urged Instagram critics upset over Bari Weiss leading CBS News to give "CBS Mornings" a chance as she is set to return to the program.
Emily Ratajkowski and boyfriend Romain Gavras were photographed sharing a passionate kiss while strolling through the streets of Rome, Italy.
Patrick Mahomes set an unusual ACL surgery recovery goal after his knee injury: walking before his 11-month-old daughter Golden took her first steps.
Trump's lawyers accuse New York Attorney General Letitia James of concealing key Steve Cohen communications in the $450 million civil fraud case.
Chelsea Spencer allegedly pressured a Cal softball player into a sexual relationship and cut her playing time, according to a new lawsuit filed in court.
Video evidence allegedly contradicted the ICE officer's claims about the Minneapolis shooting of Venezuelan man Julio Cesar Sosa-Celis, prosecutors say.
Robot.com's R-dog uses articulated legs and wheels to climb stairs and deliver packages, while its built-in screens display paid ads along the route.
The Los Angeles Rams used void years, backloaded contracts, and creative cap moves to fit Aaron Donald's $20 million deal alongside Myles Garrett and more.
Satire
JUDEA — In adherence to the teachings of Jesus, Simon, who is called Peter, was committed to forgiving the neighbor who wronged him up to "seventy times seven" times. Unfortunately, after forgiving him 73 times, Peter reportedly lost count and had to start all over.
BURBANK, CA — Panic swept through Warner Bros. Studios on Tuesday after a senior colorist was terminated for accidentally allowing visible primary colors to remain in a major motion picture.
NEW YORK, NY — Interviews conducted with employees of CBS News revealed that Editor-in-Chief Bari Weiss was facing internal backlash over allegations that she had attempted to commit actual journalism.
NEW YORK, NY — New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly seen standing in front of his bathroom mirror practicing his "sad face" in preparation for his upcoming appearance at the 9/11 memorial.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Friday that he had successfully annexed the Canadian hockey team, the Montreal Canadiens, and would be renaming them the Montreal Americans.
CHICAGO, IL — A fifth-grade teacher at Lincoln Elementary reportedly admonished her classroom on Thursday, asking the kids to please raise their hands to be called on instead of firing pistols into the air.
U.S. — The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity.
EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Sending the publisher scrambling to protect trade secrets related to the hotly anticipated project, leaks from Rockstar Games worsened Friday as hackers released a fully playable copy of Grand Theft Auto IX. “It’s heartbreaking having assets leak out for any of our projects
THE HEAVENS—Scratching His head and rifling through His notes as He tried to recall His reasoning for the decision, The Lord God, Supreme Creator of the Universe, reportedly struggled to remember on Friday why He made so many ugly people. “I could have given everyone on Earth perfect, symmetrica
The CEO of Pabst Brewing Co. put up a $20,000 reward to anyone who could provide information that leads to the recovery of 1,602 missing cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon and non-alcoholic Old Milwaukee beers. What do you think?
The post PBR Offers $20,000 Reward For Lost Beer appeared first on The Onion.
Influencer Alix Earle is the star of Netflix’s newest reality show, Earle Meets World. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the series. Q: Who is Alix Earle? A: Alix is a Gen Z content creator known for eating expired military rations. Q: I thought her name was Alex Cooper. A: Ask yo
HELL — Feminist icon Gloria Steinem refused to allow Satan to hold the door open for her on the way into hell, in what many are calling her final act against the Patriarchy.
Legacy mapping tool MapQuest shot up to become the top navigation app in Apple’s app store after refusing to comply with President Trump’s executive order renaming “Lake Ontario” to “Lake America,” overtaking Google Maps, Waze, and Apple Maps. What do you think?
The post MapQuest Jumps T
PEMBROKE PINES, FL — An adventurous connoisseur with an eye for rare edible treasures was reportedly eager to sample the exotic delicacies of the Far East at local Chinese buffet Super Dragon #1.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of War Pete Hegseth set up a lemonade stand by the Reflecting Pool in order to raise money to allow the military to purchase more missiles.
The post Gloria Steinem, Researcher Who Discovered Existence Of Women, Dead At 92 appeared first on The Onion.
Country star Ella Langley is breaking records with her hit song “Choosin’ Texas,” which has now topped the Billboard Hot 100 for 20 weeks. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist. Nepotism Connection: Child of God Honors And Accolades: CMA Award For Female Vocalist Of The
HERSHEY, PA—Calling into question the candy brand’s apparent belief that consuming its chocolate-covered caramels constitutes a lively group activity, viewers told reporters Thursday that a new Rolo commercial greatly overestimates the social element of eating Rolos. “Rolo roll call!” a hand
From specialized nutrition plans to mental skills work to experimental equipment, the quest to stay healthy and productive now takes NFL athletes far beyond the weight room. Here are some ways players keep themselves fit throughout the season. Mental Skills In recent years, mental preparation has be
Sports
Leaders of the CFP stopped short of implementing any new rules around eligibility or participation but issued a statement that "strongly supports" the recent positions of conferences prohibiting players returning to college teams from the NFL.
Caitlin Clark and Rhyne Howard had 14 points each in the United States' 33-point win over China to open women's basketball World Cup play.
Chicago Sky owner Michael Alter called a lawsuit filed by Enes Kanter Freedom "meritless and frivolous" Friday afternoon.
An Indiana circuit court judge issued a temporary restraining order Friday that clears the way for defensive linemen Stephen Daley and Kellan Wyatt to return to the Hoosiers this season.
World No.1 Aryna Sabalenka won her third-round match at the US Open on Friday in straight sets but was bothered by the smell of marijuana inside Louis Armstrong Stadium.
WNBA commissioner Cathy Engelbert, who oversaw massive growth in the league while also facing recent scrutiny in her handling of multiple issues, will retire at the end of the year.
Ben Simmons is back in the NBA after reaching one-year, $3.5 million deal with the Kings, his agents Max Wiepking, Sean Tribe and Ryan Arney told Andscape and ESPN.
After the NBA levied its enormous punishment on the Clippers, they'd be wise to change course and lean on precedent -- fast.
The Pro Football Hall of Fame has made sweeping changes to its selection process that include a significant reduction in the number of selectors and the elimination of the separate Seniors category.
Alexia Putellas' WSL debut wasn't a virtuoso performance, but her London City showed in their season-opening win over Man United that they're for real.
No. 4 Notre Dame and Wisconsin open their seasons Sunday night at Lambeau Field, bringing together two head coaches whose shared history spans more than two decades.
A look at the history of the Pac-12 and the team that will make up the new-look conference.
The showdown between LSU and Clemson has been overshadowed by controversy
Polymarket Promo Code FOX Will Reward New Users With a $50 Bonus Ahead of This Weekend's College Football.
Kalshi Promo Code FOXSPORTS Provides a $25 Bonus for the First Big Slate of College Football This Weekend.
Check out FanDuel's Latest Week 1 Special: Bet $1 Get $100 in Bonus Bets if 1+ Point is Scored in Clemson vs. LSU.
How to Bet on College Football Week 1 Including Clemson vs. LSU and Louisville vs. Ole Miss.
College Football Odds: How to Bet on the 2026 College Football Season, National Championship, Heisman and More.
A 20-year Rutgers season-ticket holder says he's done with the Scarlet Knights following Thursday night's loss to UMass.
Sammy P has four games on his sheet heading into the Week 1 of college football. Check out where he's laying his dough.
Tech
Florida joins a growing list of cities and states responding to the license plate reader backlash.
The Home Depot Labor Day sale goes hard on grills and tools. Here are our recommendations on what to buy—and what to ignore.
In what appears to be a follow-up to the mighty “CasiOak,” the rugged Japanese watch brand is expected to release an all-new luxury homage.
Zelda takes center stage on September 8 and everything else is being saved for September 9.
The US government is investigating whether the Cybercab, which lacks a steering wheel and pedals, meets vehicle safety standards.
OpenAI says it's investigating the incident after a group of researchers disclosed their findings.
While philosophers ponder AI consciousness, the models have ideas of their own.
Regulators will review the process and data Tesla used to self-certify the vehicle.
But you'll need a powerful system with 64GB of RAM to use it.
The Boox Go 6 (Gen II) is a versatile Android ereader with the ability to take notes directly in books.
The mission to Phobos, Japan’s first Mars probe launch in 28 years, may reveal new information about our closest planetary neighbor.
Claude has the ability to use past chats with you as context for current and future prompts, so it's important that they are accurate.
Don't worry, we didn't share $500 CameraJet toothbrush.
The Volkswagen Group has revealed a 'transformation program' that includes layoffs, potential factory closures and brand shutdowns.
Feeling the pull of a new clean machine? I'll help you make sense of Dyson’s whirlwind vacuum lineup.
With these high-tech automatic litter boxes, gone are the days of scooping and smells. Welcome to the future.
The success of a program linking zoos across the US has created social media stars and generated a wave of interest in how to protect the endangered great apes in the wild.
With the risk of infection rising, parents and their children are trying to navigate how safe it is to be out in public as school starts back up.
Homeland Security Investigations agents hit the outdoor retailer with a controversial subpoena as part of a dragnet search for the identities of protesters who entered a Minnesota church in March.
RugOne's newest ruggedized phone has a waterproof action cam that you can remove.
Entertainment
Donald Trump is keeping tabs on the Lindsay Clancy trial … and spoke out hours after the court ruled a mistrial. On Friday, the President was questioned about Lindsay’s case. He told reporters, “She did a horrible, horrible thing, can’t be…
The autopsy for 5-year-old Saylor Hayes is complete, and officials did not find any signs of visible trauma, TMZ has learned. The Georgetown County Morgue in South Carolina conducted the first examination. The officials said Saylor had a…
Perez Hilton apparently wanted to die at the hands of police, allegedly saying on his TikTok live stream that he was willing to hurt cops to make it happen -- according to documents obtained by TMZ. We've reviewed call logs detailing dispatch audio…
Jim Thornton is 86'd from "Wheel of Fortune" ... TMZ has learned Sony Pictures Television Studios dropped the hammer Friday afternoon. A Sony spokesperson tells us ... "Following a thorough investigation, Jim Thornton’s employment with Wheel of…
Sandra Bullock spoke about how much she loved working with the late, great Betty White. The actress appeared on Kylie Kelce's podcast, where she recalled shooting her 2009 rom-com, The Proposal, which costarred Betty and Ryan Reynolds. Sandra…
Lindsay Clancy's mistrial has a ton of people heated ... including TMZ's own Harvey Levin and defense attorney Mark Geragos. The pair had it out Friday afternoon on their weekly podcast after Judge William F. Sullivan declared a mistrial in the…
Senator John Fetterman vocally supports the police ... but it seems he may be all talk -- because he apparently bailed on a funeral for three officers because of the service length. The Wall Street Journal published a long-form piece on the…
Sarah Jane Nader flashed her rock-hard abs in a tiny tank top ... and yet it's her hand-holding with her "Dancing With the Stars" partner, Hailey Bills, that captured eyes this time. The reality TV star left rehearsal hand in hand with Hailey later…
Dolly Parton's Hollywood Walk of Fame star has been restored after it was vandalized ... TMZ has learned. TMZ obtained photos showing Dolly's star looking good as new Friday, with her name fully intact. A turquoise butterfly has also been placed…
10:50 AM PT -- The Massachusetts Supreme Court Justice has heard arguments from both sides, and will make a ruling ... and she says she'll do it pretty quickly. Stay tuned, because she could be back within just a few minutes. The Supreme Court of…
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