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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Zach Bryan's new EP "Young Manhood & Other Donatable Organs" claims No. 1 on Apple Music's top albums and top country albums charts simultaneously.
Screencaps covers Cooper DeJean's rough night against Cee Dee Lamb, online grocery shopping debates, and Cowboys cheerleader Abby Summers' split loyalties.
Bayley and Lyra Valkyria's no disqualification match on WWE Raw featured a suicide dive through a table and a brutal kendo stick submission.
Reporter Leonard Robinson claimed New Hampshire Democrats and Chris Pappas' staff blocked him from accessing an event with former Vice President Kamala Harris.
Mark Merrony, an archaeologist at Oxford, told Fox News Digital the Pembrokeshire Roman fort could have held 1,000 auxiliary soldiers, rivaling garrisons on Hadrian's Wall.
Trump's approval dropped to 36% amid the war in Iran, reshaping the 2026 midterms, but the Senate map through deep-red states keeps GOP alive.
A ceasefire in the Russian-held Ukrainian city of Oleshky, where first lady Melania Trump said the situation "is dire," went into effect on Tuesday.
Hassan Piker called Republicans "terrorists" while Ilhan Omar dubbed them the "pedophile protection party" at a joint Minnesota campaign event.
Food allergies and dietary restrictions aside, chefs say excessive substitutions strip dishes of authentic flavor and slow down kitchen operations.
Jerry Jones vows the Dallas Cowboys will be active buyers at the NFL trade deadline, seeking roster help for a 3-4 team eyeing the NFC East.
Satire
OMAHA, NE—Admitting she recalled little else from her four years as an undergraduate, local woman Ally Biederman confirmed Tuesday that most of her college memories involved walking home while crying in Halloween makeup. “Pretty much all I remember from 2013 to 2017 is drunkenly stumbling back t
PARIS — Fiery riots across the country ended suddenly on Saturday when participants refused to protest more than 32 hours in a given week.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Republican strategists reassured voters this week that polls for the upcoming midterm elections only appear bad for the GOP if you look at them.
LEHI, UT — Content-filtering streaming service VidAngel announced a new, cleaner edit of The Godfather called The Goshfather.
HIDDEN HILLS, CA—Muttering “Oh shit” as she realized her mistake, media personality Kylie Jenner was reportedly panicking Monday after accidentally washing the $50 million Victoria’s Secret Fantasy Bra on a regular cycle. “I was probably supposed to use the delicate setting, but now the li
LANSING, MI—Urging the public to use the most reliable methods available to submit their vote, election officials across the country warned Monday that a ballot tied to stray cat would likely not arrive in time. “Unfortunately, finding a stray tabby under a car and gently tying your ballot to it
PI-RAMESSES — Mighty Pharaoh (may he live forever) has reportedly released the Hebrews from their bondage after the land was afflicted by a plague of political fundraising texts.
ARLINGTON, TX — Cowboys fans expressed growing concern this week that another regular-season loss could jeopardize the team's opportunity to suffer a humiliating collapse in the first round of the playoffs.
LOS ANGELES, CA — A single raindrop fell from the sky Monday morning, triggering widespread panic and causing millions of Californians to immediately drive their cars off nearby cliffs.
BRASILIA — After a late-night ballot dump and several emergency court rulings, Joe Biden was declared the surprise winner of Brazil's presidential election, securing 81 million votes.
Ultra-wealthy families are constructing luxury doomsday bunkers with amenities ranging from gyms and spas to meditation rooms and movie theaters, the boom coming amid the backdrop of growing geopolitical turmoil and the rise of AI. What do you think?
The post Luxury Doomsday Bunkers Gain Popularity
As the race for control of Congress heats up, politicians on both sides of the aisle are making their case to the American people. The Onion highlights the most pivotal contests to watch in the 2026 election cycle. Abdul El-Sayed vs. Mike Rogers (Senate, Michigan): Republicans find out how much juic
NEW YORK—Stressing the importance of circling back to how much a prospective employer has to lose if they don’t follow instructions, a group of career experts issued a recommendation Monday advising job candidates to send their interviewer a follow-up blackmail. “Applicants often worry they’
SAN DIEGO—The brief moment proving to be all that was necessary to completely eviscerate her self image, area woman Alena Reese reportedly had years of learning to love herself undone Monday by a single glimpse of her body in the self-checkout camera at Target. “Well, I guess that’s decades of
The Central Intelligence Agency is experiencing a historic surge of departures as the Trump administration pushes veteran officers to resign or retire. What do you think?
The post CIA Experiencing Mass Exodus appeared first on The Onion.
With millions of Americans consuming far more sodium than is recommended by doctors, many are looking for ways to cut back. The Onion shares tips for lowering the amount of salt in your diet. Stay away from foods with red-flag terms on the label like “flavor.” Buy fresh, frozen, or canned jerky.
CLIVE, IA—In an effort to make their selection process more robust and holistic, officials at the multistate lottery game Powerball announced Friday the addition of an essay section. “In order to learn more about the wide range of people interested in becoming Powerball winners, we’re asking t
Sports
ESPN's NWSL GM survey returns to dish on the USWNT's World Cup chances, the Rodman rule, rule-breaking, how much they spend, and more.
A conference-by-conference look at who is contending for the playoff, who's close and who's out.
With Hov headed to SoFi Stadium's halftime stage in Los Angeles, we revisit the breadcrumbs that might have pointed us there.
After a remarkable year for Bayern Munich and England, Harry Kane becoming the world's best player is the ultimate reward for years of perseverance.
It was a great night as Harry Kane won the men's award and Alexia Putellas won a third Ballon d'Or Feminin.
Williams rushed for a career-high 155 yards and added a touchdown for Dallas.
Other takes include Kevin Stefanski's Coach of the Year case and the Ravens' struggling defense.
How does every NFL team stack up heading into Week 8? We made our 1-32 list and picked the best offseason additions -- coach or players -- for every team.
Here's a look at every weight class to determine the best of the best in UFC, PFL and beyond.
After missing the past three games with a concussion, Oregon quarterback Dante Moore is not expected to return this season, coach Dan Lanning announced Monday.
After a 10-1 demolition of the Rays at Tropicana Field, the Brewers are one win away from celebrating their franchise’s first World Series title.
The Rays didn't do themselves any favors by making some unfamiliar decisions in what felt like a must-win Game 3.
The 49ers remain the Super Bowl favorites despite their first loss, while the Cowboys are rising. Check out the latest Super Bowl odds after Week 7.
The Milwaukee Brewers took a 3-0 World Series lead on Monday night, and their fans were all over Tropicana Field.
See the latest NFL postseason odds after Week 7.
NFL Week 7 Highs and Lows: The Giants and Cowboys break out offensively, while the Seahawks' suffocating defense locks down the Chiefs.
Milwaukee Brewers lifer Brandon Woodruff did not have an easy road back to the mound for Game 3 of the World Series.
Our weekly look at the league's best players starts with the Cincinnati quarterback, who threw four touchdowns in the second half vs. Ravens.
Two Brewers top the board, with not much competition in tow. See the latest odds.
The Cowboys won on Monday night, but it wasn't pretty. Here are our takeaways.
Tech
There are pros and cons to each style of foldable.
Jess Asato’s public campaigning for victims of online abuse put her in the crosshairs of Grok’s deepfake scandal. Then the UK member of parliament became a victim of the abuse herself.
It offers more cores and more performance per core than the iMac M5.
Sadly, the 16-inch MBP is still stuck with older M5 silicon.
We mean that in the Faustian bargain sense.
The Xbox Series X has had some stumbles, so you should be aware of its faults before picking one up.
You have options for selling your old Samsung phone, depending on how much hassle you'll tolerate for more cash.
NASA has detailed how the next Artemis 3 test will happen, but it doesn't have a concrete date for it yet.
The Predator Atlas 8 gaming handheld PC is coming to the US after all on November 1st for $1,300.
Apple has influenced everything from unibody laptop cases to high-res screens.
Fancy making your Slate EV look like halloween candy? Now you can.
As agents go mainstream, some publishers are hoping that people will pay for content tailor-made for AI—not humans.
Two orbiters have long outlasted their expected lifespans and completely reshaped our understanding of the Red Planet, all while operating 140 million miles from Earth.
Instagram’s long-form video update is more than a swipe at YouTube. It’s an attempt to capture the clip economy.
From heat maps to Signal chats to war rooms, volunteers across the US are ready to act if federal immigration agents show up on Election Day.
“Sovereign citizens” think they can live beyond the reach of the state. Now the movement has influencers—and they’re selling all sorts of anarchist courses to expectant families.
The Waterdrop X12 improved the taste of my tap water, but reverse osmosis comes with costs beyond the purchase price.
I ranked six AI agents—from Meta’s Muse to Anthropic’s Claude Duet—on how well they completed basic tasks.
Months after Elon Musk declared that the xAI model would outclass Christopher Nolan’s mythological epic, the bot itself admitted defeat.
Anthropic’s S-1 filing is hundreds of pages long—and it leaves out quite a few financial details. “Anthropic owes investors more information,” one analyst tells WIRED.
Entertainment
A mother of 4 in Florida allegedly left her children home alone so she could travel to Nevada for business ... and while she was gone, police say one of her kids got seriously injured ... and the mom's paying a BIG price. The Osceola County…
Savannah Chrisley is pregnant and engaged to her mystery boyfriend ... revealing the two major life updates in a new video!!! The “Chrisley Knows Best” alum shared the montage Tuesday morning, documenting her pregnancy journey so far ……
Paul Pierce claims he is "tapped out" financially while trying to keep up with his court-ordered support payments ... due to him no longer receiving income from Fox Sports ... TMZ has learned. According to court docs, obtained by TMZ, Paul claims…
Chris Appleton and Ed Westwick are lookin' scary hot in these shirtless selfies ... which simply begs the question: Who'd you rather?! Tis the season for getting spooky 'n shredded, and these celebs certainly delivered. Just look at them -- you can…
Before this lil' cutie from Thousand Oaks, California turned into a professional singer, she was just throwin' on her fairy wings and teaching herself how to play piano and guitar ... She started singing at just 7 years old. She's probably best…
Erika Eleniak is making some serious waves on OnlyFans ... 'cause the former "Baywatch" star has raked in nearly $300K in just three months, putting her on pace to generate $1 million in her first year ... TMZ has learned. Sources close to the…
Jay-Z has officially been named the Super Bowl 61 halftime show performer. The music mogul released a statement confirming the news. He said, "Thirty years of music, work, and culture on the world’s biggest stage. This run continues to be a dream…
Taylor Swift is no stranger to "Bad Blood" and her induction speech at the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame was no exception ... because she's talking about her nearly two-decade estrangement from Brad Paisley. The singer was inducted by Paisley,…
Ric Flair already back on his feet after his big fall ... and he's already hitting the town with some serious eyewear. A couple photos of the retired wrestler are going viral, showing Ric out and about with his eyepatch tape all over his face. Ric…
Jacob Allen Morley's prison break just reached new speeds ... because the escaped inmate has been caught on video stealing a Ford pickup truck. The Tennessee Bureau of Investigation issued the shocking update Monday evening, posting a video of…
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