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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Moderate Republicans file discharge petition to force vote on Obamacare subsidy extension, defying House GOP leadership in dramatic floor action.
Columbia University released a 70-page antisemitism report detailing harassment of Jewish and Israeli students in classrooms and on campus.
Receive your weekly recap of all the happenings around the world of sports.
Interior Secretary Doug Burgum discusseed Trump's energy dominance agenda in an exclusive interview, contrasting Pennsylvania and California policies.
The Department of Homeland Security on Wednesday reported that 2.5 million illegal immigrants have left the United States as deportations rise.
The Michigan Wolverines fired head football coach Sherrone Moore on Wednesday as salacious details emerge about an "inappropriate relationship."
President Trump announced the Trump Gold Card immigration initiative is now live, promising a streamlined citizenship path for qualified and vetted applicants.
Maryland Attorney General Anthony Brown announces a Cracker Barrel settlement over allegations students with disabilities were mistreated at a Waldorf restaurant.
New York Mets fans are airing their frustrations online after the team reportedly lost both star closer Edwin Diaz and star first baseman Pete Alonso in free agency.
Secretary of State Marco Rubio's order to change the State Department's official font drew a Nazi comparison from journalist Steve Herman.
Satire
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — The Indianapolis Colts unveiled a new trick play where quarterback Philip Rivers fakes a handoff, then jogs off the field to get his wife pregnant again.
OLATHE, KS — A local church gathering was set to offer new insights into life that no one else had ever discovered before, as a small group waited in hushed anticipation, as newlyweds prepared to offer marriage advice to everyone else.
Men, if you're still looking for love we've got a sweet life hack for you today — trick a nice girl into marrying you by hiding your obsessive hobby until after you've tied the knot and she's stuck with you.
The Golden Globe Awards announced the addition of a new best podcast category, with the inaugural nominees avoiding podcasts that are controversial and politically charged. What do you think?
The post Golden Globes Introduces Best Podcast Category appeared first on The Onion.
The kids are really begging for smartphones this Christmas, but we all know there are potential risks. In lieu of purchasing your child a smartphone, perhaps consider any of these 13 safer alternatives:
U.S. — In a corroboration of what many had long suspected, a new report finally confirmed that the holiday of Kwanzaa had been revealed to be an elaborate prank on white people.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A $12 billion aid package for the agricultural industry is designed to help American farmers cope with how good the economy is, President Trump announced Monday.
Well, this is super embarrassing. It looks like I must have gotten myself pretty turned around back there and totally missed My destination. I hate to ask, but I was hoping I could catch a ride back to Earth with you guys, because I somehow wound up returning to Mars by accident. I know, I […]
The
The actual house where Illinois State University sophomores Andy Webber and Tina Gomez shot their 19-minute student film, Rest In Pete. Reference #90835
The post As Featured In Film appeared first on The Onion.
Guests spent the evening wondering why, if Chase’s family is so loaded, there’s only one guy working behind the bar.
The post Harris Thompson and Brad Chase appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK—As part of what the telecommunications giant characterizes as an ongoing commitment to transparency, Verizon’s customer service line began informing users this week that their calls would be monitored for the company’s sadistic amusement. “By staying on the line, you consent to bein
LOS ANGELES—In a groundbreaking finding that reveals a major shift in media consumption habits, a new study published Wednesday found that young people now watch more YouTube content than zoetropes of galloping horses. “It may be hard for older generations to understand, but today’s young cons
NEW YORK, NY — In a shocking development in the case of a killer charged with murdering a health insurance executive, a New York judge found that Luigi Mangione was too stunningly handsome and gorgeous to stand trial.
Police in New Zealand recovered a rare $19,000 Fabergé egg pendant swallowed by an alleged thief, with the pendant exiting his body naturally after six days of around-the-clock monitoring. What do you think?
The post Fabergé Egg Recovered After Being Swallowed By Thief appeared first on The Onion.
Clinic Closures Force More Rural Americans To Rely On Horse Who Stomps Twice When Patient Has Cancer
WASHINGTON—In the wake of the Trump administration’s decision to require employers to pay a $100,000 fee in order to hire immigrant physicians on H-1B visas, clinics closures across rural America this week have reportedly forced many residents to rely on a horse who stomps twice when a patient h
VATICAN CITY — In the spirit of the Christmas season and as part of his ongoing quest to bring about widespread harmony throughout the world, Pope Leo XIV issued a proclamation urging Jesus and Satan to put all their differences aside in the name of peace.
HOLLYWOOD, CA — In what is expected to be the season's hottest new movie, filmmakers have unleashed an innovative take on storytelling in which the villain was not portrayed as being misunderstood but instead was just evil.
CINCINNATI—Saying the man’s reputation was unlikely ever to recover from the embarrassment, sources confirmed Tuesday that local accountant Josh Hunter had completely humiliated himself at his company’s holiday party by telling his coworkers he appreciated them. “It’s normal to have a coup
HIRAIZUMI- CHŌ, NISHIIWAI, IWATE, JAPAN— Struggling to decide whether one on fall or spring would rock their shit more, Zen monk Ken Ito strained for a haiku to knock them on their asses. “I could mess them up with that Bashō one about the full moon’s splendor,” the Buddhist monk said Wedn
Sports
Our NBA insiders break down Spurs-Lakers and Suns-Thunder.
Everything you might have missed from NBA Cup quarterfinal action.
Sherrone Moore's time in Ann Arbor is over. Michigan has fired Moore for cause after engaging in an "inappropriate relationship with a staff member."
Paul spent only one season in OKC but left a lasting impression on reigning MVP Shai Gilgeous-Alexander.
NBA insiders break down the latest Power Rankings, evaluating all 30 teams as the Emirates NBA Cup heats up.
Oddsmakers are bracing for bettors to put a ton of cash on the pivotal Lions-Rams matchup. Patrick Everson breaks down that and more.
The total number of Cy-Hawk meetings is in dispute. What is not: Both teams are unbeaten, and in the top-10.
The Chiefs are in trouble, and according to Geoff Schwartz, it's not going to get better in Week 15. Check out his latest NFL best bets.
Philip Rivers prioritized his return to the Indianapolis Colts over his potential Pro Football Hall of Fame induction.
Here's the latest on what's happening around college football during the College Football Playoff and Bowl Games.
Michigan has fired coach Sherrone Moore following an investigation that found "credible evidence" he was engaged in an inappropriate relationship with a staff member.
What effect will Jones' injury have on the offseason QB market? How many coaching jobs could be open? Here's the latest intel heading into Week 15.
Fifty years after Roger Staubach's Hail Mary, Vikings defenders swear Drew Pearson pushed off.
Zero teams have clinched a playoff spot this NFL season. Here's how three of them could get into the postseason in Week 15.
Philip Rivers hasn't taken a snap since 2020, but he might be about to enter a playoff race against elite defenses.
Compare the best Louisiana sportsbooks and betting apps for 2025. Learn how to sign up, claim sportsbook promos, and legally bet on sports in LA.
Sammy P surmises that there are no bad reasons to bet the Bills to win the Super Bowl.
It was worth the wait for Pete Alonso as he gets a lucrative deal in Baltimore. How will the Mets respond after yet another departure?
Keeping track of players who may be on the move, manager comings and goings, and other buzz from around the majors.
Four-star defensive back recruit Ace Alston committed to play for Notre Dame by having Lucky Charms.
Tech
Apple Music and Apple TV are experiencing an outage, according to Apple’s System Status page. The outage was logged on Apple’s own system at around 2:53PM ET, and is currently affecting both of the company’s streaming services, along with Apple TV’s Channels feature, which lets you subscribe
Mark Zuckerberg has for months publicly hinted that he is backing away from open-source AI models. Now, Meta's latest AI pivot is starting to come into focus. The company is reportedly working on a new model, known inside of Meta as "Avocado," which could mark a major shift away from its previous op
True Classic Tees is running holiday “flash deals” with some of the best prices we've seen in months.
Eufy’s last-season robot vacuum-mop has a crazy price cut. Grab it before it’s gone.
Spotify is attempting to give users more control over the music the streaming service recommends with a new playlist feature called "Prompted Playlist." The beta feature is rolling out in New Zealand starting on December 11, and will let users write a custom prompt that Spotify can use — alongside
Intel will have to pay up in an antitrust case dating back to 2009, Reuters reported on Wednesday. The company has lost its challenge against a €376 million ($438.7 million) regulatory fine levied by the European Commission. However, Intel managed to get the amount reduced to 237 million euros ($2
There are a lot of competing ideas as to what a white elephant gift exchange really is. The origins of the term “white elephant” point to one definition: According to legend, the King of Siam would give a white elephant to courtiers who had upset them. It was a far more devious punishment than s
You gotta love that post-Day of the Devs showcase feeling. The organization, founded by Double Fine Productions and iam8bit, consistently highlights top-tier games from independent developers across the globe, providing space for creators to share their stories in both online and in-person events. T
Sony just announced December's Game Catalog additions for PS Plus subscribers and it's a pretty decent lineup. All of these titles will be ready to play on December 16, except Skate Story which is already available.
Speaking of Skate Story, it's a really weird skateboarding sim that's set in a glas
Most Democratic-led states will continue to recommend the hepatitis B vaccine at birth, despite a CDC advisory panel’s vote against it.
There's a fundamental question you can ask of both the internet and real life: "How do I enjoy my time here without taking unnecessary risks?" In grass-touching meatspace, you can cut out processed foods, carry pepper spray and avoid skydiving without a partner.
But the best methods for staying safe
The US Department of State is unwinding a 2023 decision to use san-serif Calibri font on all official communications and switching to Times New Roman instead, The New York Times reports. In a memo obtained by NYT titled "Return to Tradition: Times New Roman 14-Point Font Required for All Department
Ever since reporting earlier this year on how easy it is to trick an agentic browser, I've been following the intersections between modern AI and old-school scams. Now, there's a new convergence on the horizon: hackers are apparently using AI prompts to seed Google search results with dangerous comm
The names of two partial owners of firms linked to the Salt Typhoon hacker group also appeared in records for a Cisco training program—years before the group targeted Cisco’s devices in a spy campaign.
As the US government rapidly merges data from across agencies in service of draconian immigration policies, citizens increasingly risk being caught up as well.
From high-tech skin care to cool accessories, these are our favorite picks for the WIRED mom in your life.
New records about the infamous sex offender are released seemingly every week. Here’s a quick rundown of who’s releasing the Epstein documents, what they contain—and what they’re releasing next.
Let them pick out their own hiking boots. Instead, try gifting a useful blade or a nature journal to delight your outdoorsy friend.
Amazon’s latest e-reader and digital notebook combos bring new features, but they may not be enough in a crowded market.
In the battle for your attention, Instagram is betting that more control over the algorithm could keep you scrolling on Reels.
Entertainment
Popular Australian food influencer Stacey Hatfield died from postpartum hemorrhaging ... according to testimony given in court Wednesday. The influencer's cause of death was revealed during a court hearing looking into the circumstances of…
TMZ Sports is going live from the newsroom to discuss the day's biggest stories ... but we don't just want folks to watch and enjoy the conversation, we want y'all to get involved!! Hit the comment section as Babcock, Lucas, Mojo, Luca and the…
Health isn't the only reason Jelly Roll knew he had to lose weight ... in an interview with Joe Rogan, the rapper said his size made it nearly impossible to get it up for his wife. The artist used to tip the scale at more than 500 pounds, before…
Sam Asghari’s GF is likely fuming -- 'cause the entire world just got an up-close look at her man courtesy of these very NSFW snaps that, ngl, feels downright dangerous to be scrolling through at work ourselves. The hunky model's stripped all the…
Tragedy in the TV world ... Wenne Alton Davis -- an actress who appeared in "The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel" -- was struck and killed by a car in New York. The 60-year-old -- whose real name was Wendy Davis -- suffered a head injury when she was hit by…
While the dating rumors surrounding aespa's Winter and BTS' Jung Kook continue to heat up, the girl group's agency, SM Entertainment, is reportedly taking legal action in response to the backlash its singer is receiving. Speculation about the two…
Bebe Rexha had a change of scenery and hair color in the Turks and Caicos Islands ... where she showed off more than her singing voice. The ocean was calling the singer-songwriter who waded into shallow water, flaunting her hourglass figure and…
Somebody's hot for teacher! Khloe Kardashian got flirty in the comment section of a California school teacher's social media post ... and now the educator is shooting his shot with an incredible response. Jacob Myers of Santa Cruz, California is…
Jeff Garcia -- the beloved voice actor who appeared on many popular 2000s shows -- has died ... TMZ has learned. Multiple family members tell TMZ ... the comedian and actor was pronounced dead early Wednesday morning after he was taken off life…
11:10 AM -- A neighborhood source tells TMZ, Micah was not living at his father's home but was known in the neighborhood for rambling in public and shouting nonsensical things to no one in particular. According to our source, Micah had mental…
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