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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Cornell University President Michael Kotlikoff said the university "must do better" after questions arose over its handling of fraternity sexual assault claims.
Pete Hegseth uncorked a Caitlin Clark-like series of three-pointers at the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs before the football game kickoff.
Austin Simmons threw for 340 yards and two scores as the Missouri Tigers demolished the No. 8 Florida Gators 45-17, holding Jadan Baugh to 13 yards.
Michael O'Keefe opens up about rampant cocaine use on the "Caddyshack" set, saying people treated the drug "like it was toothpaste" in the '70s.
Tarik Skubal dominated on the mound while Kyle Tucker and Teoscar Hernández launched massive home runs to power the Los Angeles Dodgers over the Atlanta Braves for the Game 1 win.
A young bear attacked two people on their porch near Salon, Idaho, airlifting one victim to the hospital before wildlife teams tracked three bears.
Human NFL analyst holds a 9-6 edge over GPT's 5-10 record heading into Week 4 NFL betting picks that include two direct head-to-head disagreements.
The new TSA standing rule at airport security checkpoints applies only to ID-check officers as the union warns of foot and back health risks for workers.
The Bagdad Cafe on historic Route 66 in California faces an uncertain future after its longtime owner's death as America's Mother Road turns 100.
Use Underdog promo code FOXNEWS to play $5 and get $100 in bonus bets for UFC 332. Preview Natalia Silva vs. Wang Cong, top undercard fights, and betting insights before fight night.
Satire
DUBAI — After a preliminary investigation, authorities believe the failed FlyDubai hijacker Hamam Al-Hammami was radicalized online by watching Ms. Rachel videos.
While the facts are still coming out in the Cornell case, some of the allegations appear to be a total reversal of the accuser's story from two years ago. It's left many asking the question: "how can I keep this from happening to me?" Fortunately, you can avoid being charged with rape at a ketamine-
CUPERTINO, CA — Apple confirmed it has fired senior battery engineer Daniel Li after he developed a prototype iPhone battery that lasted more than two hours on a single charge.
While humanity was once pretty effective at executing criminals, we've stumbled a bit as of late.
U.S. — A poll conducted at several colleges revealed a deep worry among students that the Cornell University incident would ruin ketamine-fueled campus orgies for everyone else.
ROME, GA — Former congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene once again pointed her finger squarely at the Jews, this time accusing them of removing her brain.
The post Chump To Receive No Compensation For Rescuing Children From Fire appeared first on The Onion.
CAPERNAUM — After struggling to carefully lower their friend through the roof on his mat, the companions of the paralytic man figured it would probably be okay to just drop him.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to the attempted hijacking of FlyDubai Flight 1073, the Federal Bureau of Investigation reportedly formed an elite task force to determine if all these terrorist attacks can somehow be connected to a single ideology.
HOUSTON, TX — Local man Chip Wilson spent time in fervent prayer today in hopes that his wife's fever would break before it was time to make dinner that night.
ITHACA, NY — Immediately following her appointment as a special prosecutor to investigate the alleged sexual assault of a female student, New York Attorney General Letitia James announced that she was indicting President Donald Trump in the Cornell case.
Social media has ignited a recent surge in health-conscious Americans trying to up their fiber consumption. The Onion provides tips for maximizing the amount of fiber in your diet: Scrutinize food labels for phrases like “gut buster” and “organ hell.” Toast white bread to convert it to brown
LOS ANGELES—Smiling to himself as he reflected on all the years his mother and father had discouraged him from chasing his dream, local man Aaron Traylor told reporters Friday that his parents had been forced to eat crow ever since he made it as a Beetlejuice impersonator. “They told me I neede
The post ‘Digger’ Prosthetic Artist Recalls Grueling Process Of Having Tom Cruise Sit Still appeared first on The Onion.
AUCKLAND, NEW ZEALAND—Holding hands in a circle as candles flickered and water glasses trembled, employees of film discovery platform Letterboxd reportedly held a séance Friday to ask James Dean his four favorite movies. “Spirit of Mr. Dean, we’ve got the cameras rolling for our socials here,
Six Flags Magic Mountain permanently closed its famous X2 roller coaster due to a history of riders incurring brain injuries, with some resulting in death. What do you think?
The post Six Flags Closes X2 Roller Coaster Due To Brain Injuries appeared first on The Onion.
CHICAGO—Touting them as the clean and fashionable solution to a common messy situation, personal-cleansing brand Dude Wipes announced Thursday its new line of flushable khakis. “Every guy knows what it’s like to walk around with a load in his slacks, but you don’t have to anymore with these
The post NBA Players Share The One Thing They’d Change About The League If They Were Commissioner For A Day appeared first on The Onion.
The post Sydney Sweeney, 200 Feet Away And Under A Space Blanket: Let’s See You Pervs Jerk Off To This appeared first on The Onion.
Madonna took home seven awards at the VMAs on Sunday, making her the night’s biggest winner. The Onion shares everything you need to know about Madonna’s return to the spotlight. Age: Physically pains your mom to hear Biggest Hit: Goes on for a minute too long Philanthropic Cause: Tiny leather
Sports
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The Commanders owner covered drinks for a crowd of approximately 3,000 fans on Saturday afternoon at the BrewDog in London.
The former Steelers coach revealed an unexpected longtime hobby that shocked the sports and gaming worlds.
Get the best plays, moments and reactions from the week in college football.
Only six teams have the night off. Here's what you need to know for the 26 who are hitting the ice.
Julian Sayin threw for 324 yards and three touchdowns, two to Jeremiah Smith, and No. 5 Ohio State beat No. 14 Iowa 31-14 on Saturday.
Minnesota's defense overwhelmed quarterback Bryce Underwood as the Golden Gophers beat Michigan for the first time since 2014 with a 20-14 victory.
Spain coach Luis de la Fuente says Lamine Yamal is on the path to becoming a legend after being left stunned by the teenager's latest goal in Saturday's 3-1 UEFA Nations League win over Czechia.
Yale quarterback Dante Reno threw for 298 yards and four touchdowns following the death of his father, Yale coaching legend Tony Reno, to lead the Bulldogs to a 41-24 win over Merrimack on Saturday.
Alabama took to social media to needle its Starkville hosts, writing "Not enough cowbells" in reference to Davis Wade Stadium's famous noise-making tradition.
Brad Keselowski admitted that he was angry over his split from RFK but that now, he's in a better space.
Is Jeremiah Smith the greatest receiver in college football history?
The Dodgers began their quest for a three-peat with a Game 1 win over the Braves. Check out the NLDS series odds.
Following a loss to Minnesota, Kyle Whittingham and the Michigan Wolverines may have to make some tough decisions.
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Mississippi State QB Kamario Taylor suffered an injury in the Bulldogs' loss to Alabama on Saturday. How serious is it?
Check out the odds and what to know for the Guardians-White Sox ALDS series.
Are the Los Angeles Dodgers poised to three-peat? FOX Sports' Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez discussed the challenge ahead for Los Angeles.
See the complete 2026 MLB playoff schedule by round, including Wild Card, Division Series, LCS and World Series dates and TV channels.
Tech
If you're looking into a new sound system, you may be wondering if you need an amplifier as well. Here's how to tell and why amps even matter.
Explore how Apple's Mac Studio has evolved, with internal upgrades, performance gains, and subtle design changes shaping each new generation of the desktop.
Battery capacity often plays into battery life, but an impressive capacity stat doesn't translate to excellent battery life.
Is it too much to ask for some more colorful laptops?
You can host your own episode of Carpool Karaoke with the Dynamic Lyrics CarPlay widget.
DVI to HDMI adapters are a cheap and simple way to connect up old hardware, but don't expect miracles.
Your laptop's webcam is not usually an impressive piece of hardware, but you can help make up for its shortcomings.
A study suggests younger people are more likely to walk away if their preferred payment option isn't supported.
An attorney representing protestors said this infringes on First Amendment rights.
There's some solid free software that can help you keep tabs on your computer's health.
The price of anything with memory is skyrocketing thanks to AI. Aging streaming devices are no exception.
Millions have downloaded Meta’s AI agent Muse. But getting it to do your bidding comes with privacy costs.
Fed up with paying to stream music you’ll never actually own? Give the little silver disc a spin. Here’s how to start a CD collection or get more out of one you already have.
Want to untether your reading from Amazon? These Kindle alternatives deserve a spot on your nightstand.
After years of testing repellents, traps, and sprays, I found a few ways to keep the bugs at bay—and plenty that aren’t worth the effort.
Scientists left structures up to 100 meters under the surface. Here’s what they found when they retrieved them 10 years later.
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Save up to 87% with a Surfshark coupon code, 3 months of VPN free today, and more from WIRED.
Entertainment
Rihanna sounded off with a very minimal clapback at EJ Johnson ... after he complained about her being late to the Dior show at Paris Fashion Week. The drama all started when EJ shared a TikTok video about his time at PFW ... and complained that…
Three University of South Alabama students are under arrest after the FBI claims they threatened the life of President Donald Trump ahead of yesterday's rally on campus. Amare Woods, Cameron Lewis and Kayla Smith -- who were charged with threats…
Jordon Hudson proved she celebrates "Mean Girls" Day ... as she showed up to support her man Bill Belichick at Chapel Hill wearing a pink satin two-piece. Accessorizing with her trademark football-shaped purse ... Jordon also wore a championship…
The U.S. Coast Guard is searching for a missing medical plane carrying 6 people ... after it plunged nearly 13,000 feet in just a couple minutes. The plane -- a Latitude Air Ambulance Gulfstream G100 -- took off from Bermuda heading to Boston late…
Kim Kardashian has revealed that she was single for roughly half a decade after her split from Kanye West ... but that the decision to put her kids and herself first "felt great." Kim opened up about her singledom in an interview with The Times and…
It's October 3rd, which can only mean one thing ... it's "Mean Girls" Day! And for today's Guess Who, you're getting a double dose of Burn Book royalty. On the left, we have a child whose limit does not exist ... because she's been an A-list…
Jaime King is officially back on the market ... after a judge signed off on her divorce from her now-former husband, Austin Sosa. According to court docs, obtained by TMZ ... a Los Angeles County Superior Court judge entered the final judgment on…
A star Massachusetts high school football player has died after suffering a brain hemorrhage ... and he was only 17 years old. Marblehead High School senior Owen Coyne experienced a "sudden brain hemorrhage" ... but his family pointed out that it…
Brooklyn Beckham and wife Nicola Peltz skipped his mom Victoria Beckham's Paris Fashion Week show and instead painted the town red ... uh, rouge ... so it's safe to say their family feud may still be ongoing. And speaking of rouge ... the couple…
The New York Attorney General is now investigating allegations of gang rape at Cornell University, which means some fraternity brothers could become rape defendants ... so based on what we know now, who would win at trial? Harvey and Mark Geragos…
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