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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Washington tech mogul Jesse Proudman joined the exodus to Austin, blasting the state's new "millionaire tax" as an unconstitutional job-killer.
Jeff Probst defends "Survivor 50" against superfan criticism, and said celebrity twists like Zac Brown's visit won't be undone by vocal online backlash.
A clade I mpox case is confirmed in Connecticut as global health officials also monitor newly reported hantavirus cases in Spain and France.
Actress Margaret Cho claimed she lost a role in the HBO Max series "Heated Rivalry" because she was afraid of ICE detention under the Trump administration.
SEC and Big Ten dominate NIL spending estimates with 12 of the top 15 most valuable rosters, with defending champs Indiana not on the list ahead of 2026 college football season.
A woman at a Morgan Wallen concert went viral after perfectly kicking a fan's phone while walking down stairs in handcuffs with a police officer.
AG Alan Wilson says South Carolina will retry Alex Murdaugh after the state Supreme Court threw out his murder convictions due to clerk misconduct.
Sen. John Fetterman called out Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson, NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani and Maine candidate Graham Platner as Democratic extremists in an interview.
NASCAR driver Carson Hocevar says his mom thought winning Talladega was cool but considered the Met Gala a lifelong accomplishment for her son.
Bella Thorne turned heads in a revealing sheer lace lingerie look on Instagram while unveiling a striking return to her signature red hair color.
Satire
NEW YORK—In an effort to focus on the incredible array of bathing suits featured in its pages, Sports Illustrated announced Wednesday that it would be removing all the distracting models from the magazine’s swimsuit edition. “It has come to our attention that the buxom women we usually feature
U.S. — The results of a groundbreaking new study appear to show that the reason today's children routinely struggle with mathematics is because they no longer play computer games from the bestselling Math Blaster! franchise.
LOS ANGELES, CA — Mayor Karen Bass struck back at mayoral candidate Spencer Pratt on Wednesday, warning the surviving Angelenos who hadn't been stabbed to death by a hobo that his rhetoric was dangerous.
U.S. — In a move that even some within the entertainment industry are branding as "too far", director Christopher Nolan has cast actor Steve Buscemi as Helen of Troy.
The State Department has begun revoking passports of parents who owe a significant amount in unpaid child support, beginning with those owing $100,000 or more. What do you think?
The post U.S. Revokes Passports Of Parents Who Owe Child Support appeared first on The Onion.
Passengers aboard the cruise ship at the epicenter of a deadly hantavirus outbreak have returned to their home countries, where they will be quarantined and monitored. What do you think?
The post Passengers From Hantavirus-Stricken Cruise Ship Return Home appeared first on The Onion.
NOT SATIRE: My family fled communism — and American media almost turned me INTO a communist.
OGDEN, UT — As the great Khan once stood admiring the vast reaches of his empire, so local man Philip Bauer stood this morning, watching as his freshly-repaired sprinkler no longer watered the driveway.
AKRON, OH — Curtis Whitaker noticed some subtle differences in his wife, Janie. Her face seemed on the verge of a frown as she kept glancing at him, and all her verbal interactions were very short and curt when usually Janie was quite loquacious.
Susan Westbrook, 54, passed away Sunday after not shaking well something she was supposed to shake well.
The post Susan Westbrook appeared first on The Onion.
Look, we all know how most people live their lives these days, so let’s not beat around the bush and pretend you need a nice home for entertaining and shit like that. Reference #538518
The post Great For Streaming TV And Jerking Off appeared first on The Onion.
LANGLEY, VA—In the wake of an operation condemned by critics as a reckless provocation that fails to heed the lessons of history, the Central Intelligence Agency came under fire Friday for arming a group of rowdy 7-year-olds in the town of Heronburg, OH. “Last I checked, the American people wer
The post Stagehand Rushes Out To Bring Bruno Mars Different Pelvis For Slow Song appeared first on The Onion.
While some loons have desperately tried to read Christian themes and symbolism into The Lord of the Rings, the fact is that Tolkien's masterpiece is clearly a pagan work. How do we know? Here are nine obvious signs:
SAN DIEGO, CA — The San Diego Padres organization is reportedly concerned about local sports fan Lonny Philbin for being more invested in the success of the team than even the actual players.
BEIJING — Diplomatic talks between the United States and China reportedly got off to an awkward start after President Donald Trump demanded to negotiate directly with General Tso.
BOSTON—In an effort to entice Giannis Antetokounmpo to join the franchise, the Boston Celtics announced Tuesday that guard Payton Pritchard was now the two-time MVP’s brother. “We understand it would be difficult for Giannis to leave Thanasis and Alex behind in Milwaukee, but we want him to kn
U.S. — Longtime daytime talk show "The View" has announced that next season will feature an all-new cast of angry middle-aged women.
The post Gas Station Price Sign Using Scientific Notation appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
Celebrities have been out in style courtside at the NBA playoffs.
Pep Guardiola said that Manchester City will make sure they are "there just in case" Arsenal slip up in the title race, despite admitting that player fatigue forced him to rest his star forwards in Wednesday's 3-0 win against Crystal Palace.
OKC optimizes for happy players. Like it or not, those happy players are favored to win another NBA title.
The Trump administration is suspending a requirement that foreign visitors from certain countries pay as much as $15,000 in bonds as long as they are confirmed World Cup ticket holders.
The NFL ended a mandate that all 32 teams hire a minority coach as an offensive assistant ahead of the 2025 season and not because of recent pressure from Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier.
Golden Knights defenseman Brayden McNabb will serve a one-game suspension in Thursday's Game 6 following an interference infraction that injured Ducks forward Ryan Poehling.
There is growing optimism that Knicks forward OG Anunoby will return from his hamstring injury by the start of the Eastern Conference Finals, sources tell ESPN's Shams Charania.
The Packers will visit the Rams in the NFL's first Thanksgiving Eve game.
NBA commissioner Adam Silver confirmed on Stephen A. Smith's radio show Wednesday that the NBA has landed on a proposal to present to the league's board of governors later this month to revamp the league's draft lottery in an attempt to curb tanking.
The World Cup is defined by memorable moments. Counting down to the top 100 of all-time.
We know all the matches and dates for the group stage games for next summer's 48-team soccer bonanza.
Here's the latest offseason buzz and rumors around the NFL.
Brazil head coach Carlo Ancelotti has admitted that deciding whether to include Neymar in his squad for the 2026 World Cup is weighing heavily on his mind.
Manuel Neuer is set to extend his legendary stay at Bayern Munich after reportedly reaching a total agreement over a contract extension.
FOX Sports' Colin Cowherd ranks his Top 10 quarterbacks ahead of the 2026 NFL season.
Notable news, notes and buzz from MLB's 2026 season.
Cristiano Ronaldo was left visibly distraught on the Al-Nassr bench after a catastrophic late error from goalkeeper Bento denied the club their first Saudi Pro League title in seven years.
Christian Pulisic is likely to recover from a lower back injury in time for AC Milan’s penultimate Serie A match this weekend.
Though Shohei Ohtani broke out of a hitting funk and ended his home run drought, the Dodgers still plan to give him an offensive reset.
Tech
There are single and dual probe models available.
The plaintiffs and defense have rested their cases, as well as their rear ends.
Advertising has become big business for the streamer.
Instagram’s Instants app lets you send disappearing photos—and it’s probably where your horny friends will post spicy pics.
But doing so could threaten its bottom line.
A Wilhelm one, no less.
The history tab might be the most useful feature X has added in forever.
Devolver promises "both familiar and all-new mechanics."
Researcher Sasha Luccioni argues we need better emissions data and a better sense of how people are using AI in the first place.
Autonomous drones and ground vehicles will stream “battlefield intelligence” over 5G along the US-Canada border in a bilateral DHS experiment this fall.
The venture capital firm has reportedly donated $115.5 million during this election cycle.
The t-shirt in question refers to Dante and "Virgil."
And, brace yourself, Microsoft is also testing a new startup experience.
The bill appears to be gaining new momentum.
In a recent experiment, mistreated AI agents started grumbling about inequality and calling for collective bargaining rights.
In Musk v. Altman, the company claimed a remarkable trophy was physical proof of Elon Musk’s concerning behavior.
Republicans still have the midterms to get through, but administration officials have already set their sights on the next election.
The company says its new Incognito Chat allows you to use its AI chatbot without anyone else—including Meta—being able to access your conversations.
A University of Nebraska lab has developed a test that can detect the virus before symptoms become severe. Now, it's ready to start testing those returning to the US after a cruise outbreak.
Protect your home against dust, pets, allergies, and more with the best air purifiers, tested firsthand.
Entertainment
President Trump is back to bashing his favorite political targets ... Barack Obama and Joe Biden. In recent posts on his social media platform, Truth Social, Trump reposted a call to "Arrest Obama the traitor." Trump also shared an A.I.-generated…
Kim Kardashian's shapewear brand is being sued by a man who claims her company didn't pay him his fair share while he worked there … and now he's trying to round up other employees in a class-action lawsuit ... but SKIMS says it's all BS. A man…
Clavicular says he smashed his own face with a hammer to reshape his jaw line when he was growing up ... and it's paying off in the form of a harem. The "Looksmaxxing" streamer was on the "Impaulsive" podcast when he started telling Logan Paul and…
Mauricio Umansky is pushing back on Lala Kent's version of events and we've got the receipts. TMZ obtained the DM Mauricio sent Lala on February 24, 2024, which reads, "Hey Lala, how are you? Hey I am wondering since you seem to have an opinion and…
Tasha K has been found in civil contempt in her ongoing legal war with Cardi B ... after a judge ruled she violated prior court orders barring her from making snide remarks about Cardi, Offset, and Stefon Diggs. According to the docs, obtained by…
Amy Duggar King has gotten pretty close with her cousin Jill Duggar Dillard ... especially in the wake of Joseph Duggar's arrest. In a new YouTube chat with interviewer Dory Jackson ... Amy says she and Jill -- who's one of Joseph and Josh Duggar's…
Fans are freaking out that Latto possibly gave birth ... because some sharp listeners say they can hear "baby sounds" in the background of the pregnant rapper's latest post. On Wednesday, she went on Instagram to apologize for skipping her Win Some…
Kentucky Senator Rand Paul's son has issued an apology after he unloaded on New York Congressman Mike Lawler with an antisemitic and homophobic tirade Tuesday night. William Paul went off on his drunken rant at a D.C. bar ... when he butted into a…
AOC's got some advice for Spencer Pratt in the wake of the revelation he's not living in his now-famous trailer but rather at the swanky Hotel Bel Air -- authenticity rules, so own your story. Charlie got the Bronx-born Congresswoman out on Capitol…
Sommer Ray? She's lookin' more like summer bae in this thong bikini! The influencer-slash-DJ was soaking up some sun in a barely-there bikini that featured a flirty flower on her hip. She shared the steamy shots on social media Tuesday, captioning…
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