Personalize Your Own Homepage
Login
Create Account
US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Jon Stewart told Michelle Obama that he wonders if "The Daily Show" has been cultural "ultra processed food" giving America political diabetes.
Cindy Brunson defended DiJonai Carrington's clothesline on Sophie Cunningham while dismissing Caitlin Clark's historic stats as stat padding.
Busy Phillips revealed her grade 2 oligodendroglioma diagnosis came after a Prenuvo scan her primary care doctor initially said she didn't need.
Dolly Parton embodied the African concept of Ubuntu — "I am because we are" — enlarging humanity through her Imagination Library and delight in others.
An Airbus A350 operated by French Bee struck and killed a ground-handling worker at YUL Montréal-Trudeau International Airport Monday evening.
Three Marines who risked their lives during the ISIS-K Abbey Gate bombing received upgraded valor awards from War Secretary Pete Hegseth at a Pentagon ceremony.
The Girls Scouts of the USA says independent faith groups run optional Islamic programs after reports alleged mosque-based troops taught prayer and hijab lessons.
The NFL eliminated its AFC vs. NFC Pro Bowl game, ending skills competitions and flag football after ratings cratered to just 2 million viewers.
Torey Lovullo apologized to Craig Counsell after the league confirmed Cubs third base coach Quintin Berry's sign stealing was perfectly legal.
A military judge set a 2028 trial date for accused 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and three alleged co-conspirators held at Guantánamo Bay.
Satire
U.S. — After Enes Kanter caused a big dramatic scene in public, the WNBA was forced to admit that the former NBA player is indeed a woman.
CHICAGO—Growing visibly alarmed as he speculated about the unclouded liquid’s implications for his long-term health, 53-year-old Charles Lewis reportedly became terrified Tuesday morning after his urine came out clear for the first time in his life. “Oh Jesus, it just looks like water—I’ve
PHILADELPHIA—Suggesting that the nation was increasingly prioritizing speed and efficiency in speaking, a report released Tuesday by researchers at the University of Pennsylvania found that more Americans are abandoning lengthy conversations in favor of one really big word. “Our extensive survey
LOS ANGELES—Empowering their users to be completely upfront about their intentions, officials for the dating app Raya announced Tuesday they were launching an all-new PR Relationship Mode. “Whether you’re looking for a 23-year-old model to serve as your latest beard or a fellow Hollywood A-lis
New evidence suggests Amazon is buying up rare books and tearing their pages from their spines in order to feed its AI models with unique information. What do you think?
The post Amazon Destroying Rare Books To Train AI appeared first on The Onion.
MENLO PARK, CA—Providing an internal update on his latest breakthrough in the smart technology sector, Meta founder Mark Zuckerberg reportedly invited employees to behold the company’s “new AI” Monday as he lifted his top to display his tinfoil-covered nipples. “Here, beneath my humble sh
PEORIA, IL — County officials said they would not stand in the way after local man Christopher P. Smith putting his children up for adoption after they told him the 1989 "Weird" Al Yankovic film UHF wasn't funny.
WASHINGTON—Swarming the nation’s airports as they rushed to board any available transatlantic flight, the U.S. populace decided Monday that if Harry and Meghan were going to the U.K., the rest of America was going with ’em. “Sure, it’ll be a big adjustment, but then again, what’s the po
VALLEY OF ELAH — A group of theologians and biblical scholars recently concluded that there was reason to believe that David yelled "Kobe!" while hucking a stone at Goliath.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With tensions rising over an ongoing trade dispute, President Donald Trump threatened to send in the military to seize control of Canada's maple syrup supply.
NEW YORK, NY — Over the weekend, Dr. Robert Bruce Banner shared a little insight into how he was able to maintain some semblance of control over his transformation into the Incredible Hulk by confirming a deep, personal secret: he's always angry at the Jews.
LANCASTER, PA — Local officials confirmed on Monday that a new data center had been constructed to handle the massive influx of online rants about data centers.
People may think Ohio has nothing to offer, but they're wrong. It's still part of America, and that makes it one of the 50 best places in the world to live.
Regulators around the world are cracking down on energy drinks, citing serious health risks associated with high levels of caffeine and sugar. The Onion examines the common myths and facts surrounding the popular beverage. MYTH: Excessive consumption can lead to depression and even suicidal thoughts
OTTAWA — With the United States imposing massive tariffs on Canada over the weekend, Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney vowed to bring the U.S. to its knees with a crippling moose tariff.
THE HEAVENS—Noting that a marked downward trend had developed this fiscal year and showed no signs of stopping, The Lord God, Creator of Heaven and Earth, reported He was concerned Monday over what He called “troubling” Q3 circumcision numbers. “Sure, with the declining birth rate, we expect
SAN MATEO, CA—Noting that the students had known about the assignment since their end-of-year dismissal back in May, Sofia Suarez, a biology teacher at Hillsdale High School, informed her class Wednesday that she was disappointed no one had done their summer dissecting. “All right, you had thre
The post Trump Makes Repeated Verbal Flubs While Performing ‘Wild Wild West’ Theme Song appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
The NFL is eliminating the Pro Bowl Games, instead shifting the focus to celebrating the honor of being a Pro Bowl selection.
SEC schools that bring back NFL, NBA or WNBA players to their programs will face steep discipline under a new policy unanimously approved by the conference's 16 members, sources confirmed to ESPN.
Jonathan Kuminga agreed to a two-year, $12.4 million deal with the Timberwolves, which includes a player option, his agent told ESPN's Shams Charania. Part of Minnesota's pitch is an expectation Kuminga will fill the vacant starting power forward slot.
Five-star defensive tackle Jalen Brewster, the top-ranked recruit in the 2027 cycle, has reaffirmed his commitment to Texas Tech and will shut down his recruitment.
Former Florida State, Boston College and UCF quarterback Thomas Castellanos has committed to Texas Tech, he told ESPN's Pete Thamel on Wednesday.
Our Summer Forecast panel reveals its predictions for all major NBA awards for the 2026-27 season.
Free agent DeWanna Bonner is signing with the Dream following her contract buyout with the Mercury, sources said.
The Big 12 athletic directors have unanimously agreed to ban professionals from returning to Big 12 schools in all sports, the conference announced on Wednesday.
In a petition filed in Los Angeles Superior Court, Jeanie Buss is challenging the legality of her five siblings' vote to sell the family's remaining shares in the Lakers.
We're tracking deals, trades and buzz across the NBA, including the latest on Jonathan Kuminga.
How to Bet on NFL Preseason Week 3, With DraftKings, FanDuel and BetMGM.
Players who leave the NFL to return to college won’t be allowed to come back to the league this season
Polymarket Promo Code FOX: Trade $10, Get $20 for This Week's College Football Kick Off.
With the regular season quickly approaching, Colin Cowherd provided his division predictions and projected playoff field for the NFC on Wednesday's edition of The Herd.
Bettors are low on belief when it comes to Bill Belichick in his second year with UNC. Patrick Everson breaks down that and more.
Kalshi Promo Code FOXSPORTS Rewards New Users With a $25 Bonus for College Football, MLB.
Kylian Mbappé’s first goals of the season came via a hat-trick in Real Madrid’s 4-1 victory over Real Sociedad on Wednesday.
Joey and Jesse Buss have officially joined the San Diego Padres ownership group, which is led by Jose E. Feliciano and Kwanza Jones.
Philadelphia Phillies designated hitter Kyle Schwarber hit his MLB-leading 40th home run Wednesday.
Tech
Songs using gen-AI as a support tool will still be allowed, so long as they're "substantially human made."
Climate change is causing glaciers to retreat and become less stable, upping the odds of catastrophic collapses.
The console was subject to added fees under the Trump administration's original tariff regime.
Transparency from the company is good, but real trust in its people would be better.
Strategists in both parties have long thought that everything would need to go right for Democrats to take over Congress this fall. Their map, though, is becoming more forgiving.
Child safety groups and former Meta employees welcome proposed changes to how the company’s platforms will work for teens. They also think states should have demanded more.
In June, a FEMA official infamous for claiming to have teleported to a Waffle House was reportedly ousted. He’s still employed by the government, though—and meeting with a Trump fixer.
When it comes to Apple Silicon, a higher number doesn't necessarily mean a better chip.
Netflix is the exclusive home of the GTA VI trailer for six hours on Thursday.
JBL's new speaker/light hybrid will cost $330.
Eight Sunday night NWSL matches will be available to watch for free through The Roku Channel.
Soundcore's latest projector is bright enough to use in daylight with the shades up.
Which of Apple's new computers should you get?
The AI giant acknowledges that it could have done far more to prevent its AI agents from going rogue. But it still fails to explain why it didn't see this fiasco coming.
Devolver Digital squares up to Rockstar with a mascot platformer out the same day as GTA 6.
As culture warriors continue to stoke the flames of a gender panic in professional sports, wild conspiracy theories are coming into play.
Beijing’s endlessly delightful Robot Games featured tons of impressive stunts. But the most mind-blowing tricks challenged the humanoid’s brain, not its brawn.
China’s hacking campaign targeted NASA, the Federal Reserve, the US Senate, the Justice Department, and more, according to the DOJ.
More than 15 politicians from across the country have signed on to the AI Pact, vowing to regulate data centers and AI. “We’ve got to get this right,” says Senate candidate Dan Osborn of Nebraska.
In addition to sending billions of dollars to states, Meta will make substantive changes to its platforms as part of a landmark settlement.
Entertainment
Jimmy Butler's baby mama says she's living with the NBA superstar after their nasty legal war over child custody and support ... TMZ has learned. Jimmy's ex-girlfriend, Kaitlin Nowak, filed court docs explaining she recently worked out a…
A woman went scorched Earth on a lady who was walking her German Shepherd on the asphalt during SoCal's heatwave, bare paws and all ... it got toasty and it's all on video. We're told the situation went down Wednesday outside a TJ Maxx in San…
Surrogate McKenna West is asking a Texas judge to issue an order blocking the biological parents from interfering with her caring for their kid ... TMZ has learned. According to court docs, obtained by TMZ, McKenna opposes Nausheen Gilkar and Omar…
Abby Lee Miller is requesting the court dismiss the defendants from a lawsuit she filed ... she accidentally sued them for committing malpractice after mixing up a couple medical practitioners. Here's the deal ... the "Dance Moms" star filed court…
Selena Gomez wants that fraud lawsuit against her tossed out ... because she says it's "meritless" and "frivolous." Selena filed a motion to dismiss the suit on Wednesday, clapping back at the Wondermind investors accusing her of fraud. According…
Leah Remini is bringing her no nonsense attitude to Beverly Hills ... 'cause TMZ has learned she's joining "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills." Production sources tell TMZ ... Leah recently signed on as a full-time Housewife for the upcoming…
Jed York was clearly taken by surprise when cops pulled him over in East Palestine, Ohio ... body cam footage from the scene shows. Authorities released footage from the billionaire's arrest, which shows him in a New York Yankees T-shirt, gray…
That Kid Rock helicopter stunt in March may have cost an Army general his job. Pete Hegseth fired Army Chief of Staff Gen. Randy George just days after George had a chat with his vice chief of staff, Gen. Chris LaNeve, who encouraged George to drop…
Chris Hansen is kicking his feud with A24 up a notch ... purchasing ad space before every showing of the Robert Pattinson flick about his Dateline sex predator show ... all to promote his new pedo-hunting project. Chris will use the ads to direct…
Paws what you're doing -- it's National Dog Day! Life's better with our friendly, furry kiddos, and we've got a pack of precious pics to have a doggone good day! Check out the gallery -- Florence Pugh got a smooch from her pooch, and Hailee…
Stocks
Weather
Location is determined by your browser