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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
DHS Assistant Secretary Tricia McLaughlin fires back at Democratic Rep. Adelita Grijalva’s claim that she was pepper-sprayed during an immigration raid near a Tucson restaurant.
Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton has sued the developers behind the proposed 400-acre EPIC City, alleging illegal securities sales, misleading marketing and payouts.
Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz slams President Donald Trump for calling the state's Somali community "garbage," saying such remarks are unprecedented for a president.
Federal immigration officials target the "worst of the worst" criminals in Minneapolis as the Trump administration ramps up deportation efforts nationwide.
The FAA is launching an investigation into airline protocol during the government shutdown, threatening $75,000 fines per violation and giving carriers 30 days to prove compliance.
The NFL unveiled strict new field standards, requiring all stadiums to meet lab-approved benchmarks in about three years amid efforts to prevent injuries.
President Donald Trump announced via Truth Social Friday he signed a memorandum to review the 72-vaccine schedule required for all American children from infancy onward.
Ontario Councilor Corinna Traill faces criminal charges for allegedly threatening to kill a former mayoral candidate and assault his wife in a disturbing voicemail.
Co-host Sunny Hostin defended Gov. Gavin Newsom on "The View" Friday after actress Halle Berry criticized him for vetoing California's menopause care bill twice.
Texas border agents found 30 handguns — one stolen and another capable of piercing body armor — hidden in a truck’s spare tire, leading to two arrests.
Satire
PASADENA, CA — A family of Jehovah's Witnesses continued their annual tradition of piling into the car and going for a drive to look at houses without Christmas lights.
After a bidding war, Netflix has secured a deal to buy Warner Bros. Discovery for a reported $82.7 billion. Once the deal is finalized, fans will notice significant changes to beloved WB properties like Harry Potter, Looney Tunes, and Superman IV: The Quest for Peace.
LOS ANGELES—In a shockingly personal attack on the actor’s arches, filmmaker Quentin Tarantino made comments Friday slamming Paul Dano as the worst actor on Wikifeet. “Paul Dano’s got the weakest soles on Wikifeet,” Tarantino said during a podcast appearance, calling Dano’s feet “nasty
Starting in 2026, Malaysia will ban social media accounts for anyone under 16, joining other countries such as Australia in imposing digital age limits. What do you think?
The post Malaysia Bans Social Media For Children Under 16 appeared first on The Onion.
KANSAS CITY, MO — Rumors swirled that the Kansas City Chiefs' disappointing season had led one of the world's biggest celebrities to reconsider her future, with Taylor Swift hoping that Travis Kelce had forgotten that they were engaged.
CAMILLA, GA — A routine family game night almost ended in disaster after a young child asked to play Monopoly. Fortunately for everyone involved, better heads prevailed, and the game of Monopoly was narrowly avoided.
ANAHEIM, CA — Dad and budget hawk Kevin Peterson told his kids that the family was just one accidentally opened hotel minibar waterbottle away from complete financial ruin.
BORDENTOWN, NJ — According to reports, a customer at Tricky Auto Repair located on South Egg Harbor Road successfully negotiated his vehicle maintenance down from a routine $75 oil change to a mere $2,000 full brakes and rotor replacement.
A Japanese tech firm has developed a capsule-style human washing machine, which is able to automatically wash and dry a person. What do you think?
The post Japanese Company Unveils Human Washing Machine appeared first on The Onion.
READING, PA — According to sources, a local mother was carefully looking through the toy aisles of a nearby store for the perfect present that her child would break in four seconds.
CARACAS — A young employee's burgeoning career took a massive step forward this week, as a junior cartel member was excited to find out that he was already getting an opportunity to drive the boat.
ARLINGTON, VA—Describing the incident as a split-second operational judgment made under rapidly evolving conditions, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth invoked the “fog of war” Thursday to explain why he urinated inside a Pentagon break room refrigerator. “In the heat of the moment, you’ve got
The bride and groom want to call what happened on Saturday a wedding, but it wasn’t even in a church—and they both wore tennis shoes!
The post Reyna Cobb and Luke Butler appeared first on The Onion.
VATICAN CITY—In a milestone many Roman Catholics hope will bring the church into the 21st century, Vatican officials issued a statement Tuesday formally recognizing Generation Z’s first demon. “For his innovative use of digital communications to torment and possess the Christian faithful, Mel
Tensions between the United States and Venezuela are escalating, with President Trump stating that land strikes on drug traffickers could come “very soon.” The Onion examines the pros and cons of entering a war against Venezuela. PRO “Caracas” fun to say Raises total number of countries Amer
In the world of business, integrity is everything. There has to be a baseline level of trust, or the entire system collapses. That’s why I make honesty a top priority in my professional life, even in situations where bending the truth a little would be to my personal benefit. For example, I would
NEW YORK—Confirming his new film fell somewhere between fact and fiction, director Josh Safdie explained to reporters Friday that Marty Supreme was a slight dramatization of LeBron James’ life. “I wouldn’t call it a biopic, exactly, but yes, Marty Supreme is about King James,” said the fil
The post Kristi Noem Places Pushpin In Bespoke Map Of Every Place She’s Deported Someone To appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
Shai Gilgeous-Alexander scored 33 points, stretching his 20-point streak to 95 straight games, and the Thunder stomped the Mavericks 132-111 for their 14th straight win.
Penn State named Iowa State coach Matt Campbell as the school's head football coach, the school announced Friday.
Former Kentucky star DeMarcus Cousins didn't hold back on his opinion on the Wildcats after their 35-point loss to No. 11 Gonzaga on Friday night, saying the team "has no heart."
Cowboys coach Brian Schottenheimer said he will have a conversation with George Pickens about the wide receiver's social media post, which he has since deleted, in response to criticism he received from former All-Pro cornerback Richard Sherman.
Rockets star Kevin Durant, who entered Friday as the NBA's No. 8 all-time leading scorer, reached the 31,000-point milestone in the first quarter against the Suns.
James Madison athletic director Matt Roan used the public-address microphone to implore Dukes fans to stop throwing snowballs onto the field during the Sun Belt Conference championship game.
Here's our latest intel heading into the MLB winter meetings, starting with the slugger who holds the key to the offseason.
Blake Baker will remain defensive coordinator at LSU, head coach Lane Kiffin confirmed Friday night.
USMNT coach Mauricio Pochettino said his objective over the next six months is to continue to improve the squad and "show full respect" for its World Cup group stage opponents.
ESPN MMA analysts make their predictions, and a betting insider finds the value picks on the card.
Watch the full 2025 Mountain West Championship ceremony after the Boise State Broncos defeated the UNLV Rebels, 38-21.
Quarterback Maddux Madsen scored four first-half touchdowns to propel Boise State past UNLV for a third-straight crown, the program’s final championship before its 2026 move to the Pac-12.
Check out the odds for all nine college football conference title games, highlighted by a battle between No. 1 and No. 2.
Check out the best moments between the UNLV Rebels and the Boise State Broncos in the Mountain West Championship!
We know all the matches and dates for the group stage games for next summer's 48-team soccer bonanza.
Kevin Durant notched another milestone on Friday night during Houston's dominant victory over Phoenix, becoming just the eighth player in NBA history to join the exclusive 31,000-point club.
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JoJo Earle rushed for seven-yard touchdown that trimmed the UNLV Rebels deficit to 28-21 against the Boise State Broncos.
“We are just awaiting for him to decide," Argentina coach Lionel Scaloni said about Lionel Messi and the World Cup.
With groups now set, here are the odds for the Golden Boot award at the 2026 FIFA World Cup.
Tech
Enjoy 25% off a membership, 40% off, plus an additional 10% off annual plans, and more deals to save at Vimeo.
In this episode of Uncanny Valley, we bring you the news of the week, then dive into how some DOGE operatives are still at work in the federal government—despite reports claiming otherwise.
Here's some good news for the "Han shot first" crowd. The original cut of Star Wars (1977), the film known today as A New Hope, is coming back to theaters. We first learned in August that some version of the film would be screened again in 2027 for its 50th anniversary. But we know now this will ind
Meta has acquired Limitless, the maker of an AI-powered "Pendant," to work on building consumer hardware for the company, the startup announced via a YouTube video and blog post. So far, Meta has focused on selling VR headsets and AI smart glasses. Now the company seems interested in branching out."
First it was banned. Then its sales blew up. But Horses fails to meet the lofty goals of its own ideas.
The $83 billion deal gives the streamer a century’s worth of prestige television and movies, from Batman movies to Game of Thrones. It also ends the streaming wars.
The Switch 2's lack of a built-in camera means you need an external one for GameChat video calls. But now, if your phone is a Google Pixel, you don't even need one of those. Android Authority reported on Friday that the two now work nicely together (without needing third-party apps), and our tests c
The debut game from Liquid Swords will arrive in early 2026, it was announced at today's PC Gaming Show. Samson: A Tyndalston Story is billed as "a consequence-heavy noir action game" by its developer, and focuses on the eponymous Samson McCray, a man who's got himself into serious debt in a city th
For a few more days, you can save on mattresses and bed frames from one of our favorite makers.
Shortly after rumors of a deal between the two media giants broke, Netflix has announced it is buying Warner Bros., HBO and HBO Max for approximately $82.7 billion. If approved, the deal will take place after Warner Bros. has disentangled itself from both its legacy cable and Discovery assets as par
Netflix's $82.7 billion acquisition of Warner Bros. is, in many ways, the last thing a weakened Hollywood needs right now. The industry is still recovering from the COVID-19 pandemic, where theaters were forced to close and audiences became even more comfortable with streaming films at home. The WGA
Looking to switch music streaming platforms for no real reason? Apple Music is holding one heck of a sale right now. You can get three months of use for just $1. There are some caveats, as this is only for new users on the individual plan. Students and family plans don't count for this.
Also, this
IMAX and animation distributor GKids are bringing more 4K Studio Ghibli restorations to the largest screens in 2026. The announcement follows the IMAX release of Princess Mononoke this year, with the ongoing restorations being directly supervised by Studio Ghibli’s Atsushi Okui, who’s been with
For the most sensitive parts of the human body, friction is the enemy. Here’s how to keep it at bay with our favorite lubes made of water, silicone, or natural oil.
You know what they say: If at first you don't succeed at mass government surveillance, try, try again. Only two days after India backpedaled on its plan to force smartphone makers to preinstall a state-run "cybersecurity" app, Reuters reports that the country is back at it. It’s said to be conside
Philo has a decent discount for newcomers who are looking for a solid bundle of live TV channels and on-demand streaming services. New subscribers can get their first month of access to the Core plan for $25. That's a discount of $8.
For your 25 bucks, you'll gain access to more than 70 channels, i
AI startups say the promise of turning dazzling models into useful products is harder than anyone expected. Three founders discuss what it takes.
This nimble, compact ebike packs plenty of punch, but doesn’t offer a wide range of sizes.
Solve the problem of cooking and chewing food with these full-meal replacement drinks.
Reddit is considered one of the most human spaces left on the internet, but mods and users are overwhelmed with slop posts in the most popular subreddits.
Entertainment
Smokey Robinson won a legal battle in his legal war against his sexual assault accusers ... a judge granted the singer's request for the anonymous accusers to turn over their cell phones. In court docs, obtained by TMZ, Smokey said he was concerned…
"Vanderpump Villa" star Marciano Brunette is suing "Secret Lives of Mormon Lives" star Demi Engemann for defamation ... he says her sexual assault allegations against him are a bunch of baloney. In new legal docs, obtained by TMZ, Marciano claims…
Brandi Glanville says she finally has a diagnosis for why her face was suddenly disfigured ... and it sounds like a huge relief. We got the former 'RHOBH' star in Sherman Oaks on Friday at the grand opening for goGLOW and our photog asked her about…
Joe Biden was once the 46th president of the United States ... but now he's having trouble saying "America" without butchering the hell out of the word. JB spoke at the 2025 International LGBTQ+ Leaders Conference in Washington, D.C. on Friday ...…
The Austin Police Department has closed the book on Brianna Aguilera's death, ruling it a suicide ... but the family still doesn't believe law enforcement. Tony Buzbee, the attorney for Aguilera's family, tells TMZ they still think Brianna's death…
Sabrina Carpenter might find herself in a game of Whack-a-Mole with the White House ... after she seemingly influenced them to take down a post using her music, the administration has now posted a new video using her image. The PSA in question was…
Dillon Danis claims he's still feeling it after his brawl at UFC 322 ... to the point where he won't be able to attend his deposition in his Nina Agdal case next week. According to court documents, obtained by TMZ Sports, the MMA fighter says he is…
Savannah Chrisley is back in the Cayman Islands with a mystery man ... and this time she's on dry land, wining and dining at a waterfront restaurant. TMZ obtained a new photo showing the reality star at Casanova Restaurant in George Town ... and…
The stepbrother of Anna Kepner -- the teen girl who tragically died on the Carnival Horizon last month -- has been sent to live with relatives as the FBI investigates him in connection with Anna's death. According to People, Anna's stepmother,…
2:04 PM PT -- Tekashi 6ix9ine tells TMZ Hip Hop he isn't worried about his looming 3-month prison sentence come January ... he'll be confined away from the madness and will use the solitary to get in shape!!! We caught up with 6ix9ine following the…
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