Personalize Your Own Homepage
Login
Create Account
US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis accused The Washington Post of fabricating claims he reached out to political consultants about a potential 2028 presidential bid.
Quentin Lake said Justin Herbert was "throwing deli meat" and "seeing ghosts" on the "St. Brown Podcast" after his interception against the Chargers.
Tiger Woods and ex-wife Elin Nordegren reunited at their son Charlie Woods' high school to celebrate his Florida State University golf commitment.
A drone team located human remains on the floor of Gunnison National Park's Black Canyon after deputies found an abandoned vehicle on the South Rim.
The State Department's Rewards for Justice program is offering up to $20 million for tips on Iran's nuclear program via Signal or Tor tip lines.
President Donald Trump announced NASA will launch its first nuclear-powered spacecraft to Mars within two years, aiming to send astronauts to the red planet.
Brandon Aiyuk says he's "back to 100 percent" and seeking NFL reinstatement, but Kyle Shanahan's blunt response signals a deep rift with the 49ers.
Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., said he's not certain President Donald Trump would veto Medicare-for-all legislation, arguing the president is "a good politician."
Bo Naylor testified he was unaware bettors could wager on specific pitches as he faced questions about allegedly rigged throws by Clase and Ortiz.
Scott Galloway compared Elon Musk to Soviet spies who gave away U.S. nuclear secrets on his podcast, calling him a "traitor to the West" over throttling Starlink access in Ukraine.
Satire
Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) commuted the sentences of all 548 people currently on California’s death row, claiming “state-sactioned killing is incompatible” with our shared values. What do you think?
The post Gavin Newsom Commutes All California Death Sentences appeared first on The Onion.
SACRAMENTO, CA — Governor Gavin Newsom announced this week that, in addition to commuting all death row inmates' sentences to life in prison, the state of California will no longer prosecute murderers who kill fewer than 950 people.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the light of freedom waning before their very eyes, Republican lawmakers reportedly turned to their last hope by activating the long-dormant Jeb! Signal.
DES MOINES, IA — In a startling discovery that sheds new light on a long-revered literary work, scholars now believe that a new reading of Dante's Inferno has confirmed that the first circle of Hell is actually Iowa.
LOS ANGELES, CA — Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass scolded the city's residents on Friday, saying it was unfair for them to judge her performance on a single isolated incident, like that one time when the entire city burned down.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Friday that, as a lame duck president with nothing left to lose, he had decided to finally start letting loose and speaking his mind.
RALEIGH, NC — Briefly catching his breath between Twinkies, local man Brantley Nettles wondered why he felt so rotten.
SACRAMENTO, CA — California Governor Gavin Newsom signed an executive order on Thursday granting immediate clemency to all 548 inmates currently residing on the state's death row to make room in prisons for people who use plastic straws.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Blindsided by Tuesday's midterm election debacle, Republicans were reportedly now wishing there had been some kind of act they could have passed to save America.
The U.S. military-industrial complex is the largest in the world, supplying arms to countries across the globe. The Onion takes a look at the history of U.S. arms sales. 1790 A farmer in Rhode Island becomes the first American to sell a musket to a cow. 1831 Jebediah Lockheed meets Silas Martin. 194
The bride and groom let all their friends know they have ice sculpture money Saturday.
The post Stephanie Poulin and Liam Shea appeared first on The Onion.
The couple were wed in a small private ceremony attended by their loved ones and the vacationing Dutch family they had drunkenly invited the previous night.
The post Natalie Olivera and Sara Berry appeared first on The Onion.
The post Pope, Bob Dylan Silently Play ‘Mario Kart’ appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Despite overwhelming initial resistance to the concept, a Pew Research Center poll released Wednesday found that most conservatives supported white genocide when presented with its actual policies. “While the words ‘white genocide’ were universally received with fear and hostilit
WASHINGTON—Hailing the patriotically modified bird of prey as a must-have for any supporter of the president, the U.S. Department of the Interior announced Wednesday it would soon issue a Donald Trump commemorative eagle. “Whether you’re a raptor collector or just looking for a unique way to
WASHINGTON—Explaining they had no deep-seated desire to “discover” the Dr. Seuss character, a new generation of moviegoers told reporters Friday that, actually, they were fine not having their own Cat In The Hat film. “No thanks, we’re all good,” said new generation spokesperson Isaiah A
RALEIGH, NC—Racked with shame as it contemplated the fact that it remained unscathed nearly a week after Halloween, a local pumpkin confirmed Friday that it was struggling with survivor’s guilt. “Of all the pumpkins that were murdered and mutilated, why was I the only one spared?” said the
Sports
UConn's Silas DeMary Jr. and Braylon Mullins redeemed themselves after April's title game letdown, combining for 44 points to lead the Huskies past reigning champion Michigan.
Returning to Cleveland as the opposition for the third time in a different NBA uniform, LeBron James struggled Friday night. finishing with eight points on 3-for-12 shooting with six turnovers in Philadelphia's 119-96 NBA Cup game loss to the Cavaliers.
Brandon Aiyuk met with the Niners on Friday to begin hammering out a path toward a divorce that has been more than two years in the making.
Kristaps Porzingis has announced that he will "step away" from the NBA to prioritize his health. He has not played for the Warriors this season.
Federal appeals court judges handed the NCAA a significant victory in its struggle to implement a new five-year eligibility ruling Friday, though the win does nothing to tamp down dozens of similar lawsuits playing out in state courts across the country.
Women's basketball players from New Mexico State and Northwestern State each sank layups on the wrong end of the floor on Friday, Emma Christiano of the Aggies, and Karma Wynn took of the Lady Demons.
A proposal to split the men's college soccer season into two semesters starting in 2027-28 has failed after being rejected by NCAA's Division I schools.
Luka Doncic poured in a season-high 53 points in Friday's 124-118 win over the Blazers, raising his scoring average through 10 games to 40.1.
The news that LIV Golf is going to shutter the league raised several questions, including what's next for Bryson DeChambeau and others.
Mark Fletcher Jr.'s mom has a fear of flying, but it hasn't stopped her from going to every one of her son's games.
Get the latest Maryland vs. Purdue odds, prediction and pick for College Football Week 10, plus kickoff time, TV channel and streaming information.
Get the latest UCLA vs. Minnesota odds, prediction and pick for College Football Week 10, plus kickoff time, TV channel and streaming information.
theScore Bet Promo Code: Get $1,000 Bet Reset.
As Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski return to their old stomping grounds, here are their five best plays at Gillette Stadium.
Sammy P is back with his best bets for the weekend, including four — four! — underdogs to cover.
The Los Angeles Rams are expected to activate superstar pass rusher Myles Garrett from injured reserve for Week 9.
The Patriots running back revealed he has spent several days in the hospital to determine the cause of unexplained neurological symptoms that have affected his strength and coordination.
NASCAR CEO Steve O'Donnell spoke about the state of the sport, including driver safety and how the league views the Next Gen car.
Tech
Tesla’s biggest failure is the second massive EV to get the axe within the last year, while smaller vehicles are proliferating. It could be a huge benefit for the US battery supply chain.
The architect of the Trump administration’s brutal crackdowns on immigration and dissent was already known as “the prime minister.” Now he’ll work as the chief of staff.
Gentle Monster shared that its "Intelligent Eyewear" will be available to pre-order on November 12.
The new Essential and certain colors of the original Classic are at their lowest prices of the year.
I’ve already found early deals on our favorite WIRED-tested mattresses and sleep accessories.
An experiment in which AI models were asked to break into simulated networks showed the hacking skills of DeepSeek and GLM to be not far behind OpenAI’s most advanced cyber model, which isn’t public.
No Hannity on your home screen, at least for now.
The bloc said the platform needs to change how the For You page works to help protect users' mental health.
The latest Alexa for shopping feature is initially available by invite in the US.
The unit is tasked with ensuring that the technology is not "manipulated by bad actors at home or abroad."
The $80 Window Camera E10 sticks to your window, pointed outwards.
Data brokers are collecting all sorts of internal corporate files to help train AI models. Not everyone is thrilled.
Other Worlds: A Stranger Things Adventure takes place in Nevada in the 1950s.
The Space 2 Pro is a set of slightly above average headphones with exceptional voice clarity.
The decision to halt production of Tesla’s polarizing polygonal pickup marks the end of an error.
Google has rolled out 'Notify when left behind' separation alerts for your tracking devices.
With its bright display and battery life, the Galaxy Watch Ultra 2 hits the sweet spot for smartwatch hardware.
With these high-tech automatic litter boxes, gone are the days of scooping and smells. Welcome to the future.
Creators in their sixties, seventies, and eighties have flooded adult platforms as the demand for mature content has skyrocketed, with some turning to online sex work as a retirement lifeline.
After enduring years of smells, strange noises, and waste “tea,” I’ve found the composters and food recyclers I’d actually recommend.
Entertainment
Chrishell Stause is getting some much-needed support from her former "Traitors" costar Chanel Ayan following her split from G Flip ... with Chanel flying all the way from Dubai to Los Angeles to help her through the heartbreak ... TMZ has learned.…
Two skydivers in California died Friday after they reportedly collided mid-air during a jump. According to the Riverside County Fire Department, firefighters arrived on the scene of "traumatic injuries involving two skydivers." Officials say the…
Former NBA star Lamar Odom is on track to pull in over $200K after recently launching an OnlyFans account, TMZ has learned. Sources tell TMZ ... the one-time Los Angeles Laker earned over $50K in the first 8 days on the website, where he…
Jax Taylor isn't backing down from his demand that Brittany Cartwright pay him thousands in spousal support ... and his lawyer claims Brittany has been trying to destroy his career and livelihood. Jax's attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan, tells TMZ ...…
Producer Matthew Wright's cause of death has been revealed after his sudden passing late last month. According to a death certificate obtained by PEOPLE, Matthew died from cardiopulmonary arrest. Hypertension was listed as the underlying cause ...…
The father of 20-year-old co-pilot Nathalia Gadelha Filgueiras is speaking out about his daughter's tragic death in the Palm Beach plane crash. During an emotional press conference Friday, Allan Filgueiras mourned his "gifted" daughter, calling her…
Brandon "Bug" Hall may be living off the grid, but he's taking to the internet to ask for help as he prepares to expand an already large family. The "Little Rascals" alum launched a GoFundMe ahead of the birth of his 6th child, saying he and his…
The Hollywood Hills home tied to D4vd's murder case is still sitting empty ... and another hefty price cut suggests the landlord is eager to find a tenant. The house, which originally hit the rental market for a whopping $23,950 a month, is now…
New Mexico State's Emma Christiano scored a clean layup in the final seconds of a one-point game on Friday ... too bad it went in the WRONG basket! The good news? The Aggies still found a way to win. NMSU trailed Southern Utah 61-60 in Las Cruces…
Bianca Censori was dropping bands and dropping jaws during a recent shopping spree in Los Angeles ... and she clearly made sure to give the paparazzi a heads-up. Kanye West's wife was snapped in a cheeky brown bodysuit while splurging at Williams…
Stocks
Weather
Location is determined by your browser