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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Caitlin Clark attended the Giants game at Oracle Park, adding buzz ahead of Thursday's heated Fever-Valkyries rematch following off-court drama.
RFK Jr. responded to social media concerns by sharing a video showing how he and wife Cheryl Hines carefully handled a venomous rattlesnake rescue.
Nebraska State Patrol says K9 Gable helped troopers discover 525 pounds of cocaine during a traffic stop, leading to the driver's arrest Wednesday.
CreatiVets brought veteran musicians to the Trump Kennedy Center's Millennium Stage for an emotional showcase blending combat stories with live music.
Josh Allen surprised school kids at recess in Buffalo, greeting them at the fence and playing games as the Bills QB embraces life as a new father.
Parris Campbell, a second-round pick out of Ohio State in 2019, officially retires from the NFL at 28 after stints with the Colts, Giants and Cowboys.
Kansas father pleaded guilty to second-degree murder after his 3-year-old daughter fatally shot her 1-year-old sister with an unsecured handgun.
Knicks fans want Jalen Brunson to silence Becky Hammon's criticism by winning the Finals and ending New York's 53-year championship drought for good.
A former senior U.S. official with top secret clearance was allegedly caught with $40 million in gold bars after an FBI raid on his Virginia home.
Clint Dempsey called the 2026 USMNT World Cup roster defensive-heavy with "some surprises," but says the team can still perform really well overall.
Satire
NASHVILLE, TN — The Southern Baptist Convention voted to adopt a new church policy on Wednesday where tasers can be used on visitors who try to sneak past the church greeters.
AUSTIN, TX — Representative James Talarico was seen today gleefully dropkicking a labradoodle as he assured onlookers that Jesus had never explicitly said that you can't dropkick a labradoodle.
The inaugural Enhanced Games, consisting of weightlifting, swimming, and sprinting, were held, which allowed competitors to take performance-enhancing drugs in hopes of pushing the limits of human achievement. What do you think?
The post Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids appea
BOONE, NC—Noting that the troubling signs of a toxic dynamic had become too numerous to ignore, area woman Kara Vasques expressed concern Wednesday that she was in a codependent relationship with the rest of humanity. “Sometimes things will be great with me and the human race, but then I start t
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite ongoing bombing operations being carried out in recent days, members of the Trump White House announced that the peace deal with Iran was completely done except for all the important parts.
STARBASE, TX—Firing off dozens of messages in less than a minute at 2:30 a.m., Elon Musk reportedly hit up a text thread Wednesday to see if any of his 13 kids had ketamine. “Hey kids, it’s Dad, I’ve just been crashing out hard and need a few bumps of K to get me to the […]
The post Elon M
WASHINGTON—Proudly declaring that the exam revealed what he had known all along, President Donald Trump boasted Wednesday that his annual physical turned up no signs of pedophilia. “The doctors gave me the most thorough pedophilia testing you can get, and I’m totally clean,” said Trump, who
RED ROCKS, CO — Local concertgoers experienced a wave of dread Friday night when indie-rock front man Julian Vance announced the band was going to "play a little something from the new album."
CALGARY — One elderly woman was convinced that her life was soon going to change forever, as the Canadian grandmother expressed excitement after hearing that her family was preparing to hire a MAID.
TEXAS — With the field now set for the Texas Senate race, Democrats are hopeful that the average Texan voter wants to ban steak and believes God is gay.
PROVO, UT — Local wife Allie Goodman told her husband that she identified with all five of the common "love languages," and she was not sure which one she wanted today, but he was just going to have to guess.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Tragedy unfolded in the nation's capital again today, as multiple assassins attempting to kill President Donald Trump accidentally shot each other.
LA PUENTE, CA — Bucking years of tradition, the valedictorian at a local high school is reportedly not in any way Asian.
BETHESDA, MD — Results from President Donald Trump's 6-month physical at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center appeared to show that his midi-chlorian count is "off the charts."
BETHESDA, MD—Complaining during his annual physical Tuesday that the narrow tubelike structure offered next to no room for socializing, President Donald Trump decried the lack of space to host parties inside an MRI machine. “It’s so cramped that maybe you can fit one or two foreign dignitaries
The post ‘The Mandalorian And Grogu’ Slammed By Fans As Third-Best ‘Star Wars’ Film appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Growing increasingly angry and pacing his office, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was reportedly shaking with rage Tuesday after imagining a plus-sized astronaut. “Ugh, it makes me fucking sick to think about some fatass floating through space making Americans look like pathetic slo
Faculty at Harvard University voted to set limits on the number of A’s awarded to students, citing the need to curb grade inflation. What do you think?
The post Harvard Caps Number Of A Grades appeared first on The Onion.
Top-ranked tennis player Jannik Sinner arrives at the French Open on a 29-match win streak, having recently swept six consecutive ATP 1000 titles and completed the Career Golden Masters. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the four-time Grand Slam champion. Height: 8-foot-6 (with tenn
Sports
The 2027 QB draft class should be loaded. Arch Manning, Dante Moore, CJ Carr and Trinidad Chambliss top the list.
We proposed trade offers for Keon Coleman, Cole Kmet, Anthony Richardson Sr. and Kayvon Thibodeaux. Could any of them be on the move?
The Jaguars quarterback's trademark flowing blonde hair disappeared during the team's schedule reveal video.
Kelce's 2023 ceremonial first pitch at a Guardians game did not go as planned ... and Mahomes isn't letting him live it down just yet.
These are the most important NBA deals that could get done, plus how each outcome could help shape next season.
How do the 2026 freshmen compare to upcoming classes? How many juniors could be immediate starters?
Are Marcus Spears Jr. (2027), A.J. Williams (2028) and JJ Crawford (2029) secure at No. 1?
When he was with the Cubs, Baez pulled off a magic trick that made the Pirates look like Little Leaguers.
Several elite defensive players are struggling big-time at the plate in 2026. Here's what history says about their ability to stick in the lineup and what options their teams have.
Last year, Rafael Jodar was ranked No. 707. Now, he is 29th in the world. And at the French Open, it's reminding fans of another prodigy named Rafa.
We're tracking notable injuries, news and happenings across men's and women's college basketball during the 2025-2026 season.
Here's the latest offseason buzz and rumors around the NFL.
Denny Hamlin is favored to take the checkered flag at Nashville, but last year's winner could be one to watch. Here are the odds.
In his first public comments since Murray signed with the eager-to-contend Vikings, McCarthy sounded as though he understood the situation but did not necessarily appreciate it.
Who will shake things up this time around? Here’s our way-too-early check-in on the Cy Young award contenders.
Sergio Ramos' proposed takeover of Sevilla has completely collapsed after the Real Madrid legend drastically altered the terms of his bid.
The Southeastern Conference is eliminating “cupcake weekend."
Former U.S. coach Gregg Berhalter was devastated when he got fired two years ago. Those feelings are long gone now that his son, Sebastian, is headed to his first World Cup.
With the 26-man roster now out, how could the USA's starting lineup look like for the opener?
Notable news, notes and buzz from MLB's 2026 season.
Tech
Last.fm is now an independent company, nearly two decades after it was acquired by CBS.
The bill requires companies like OpenAI, Anthropic, and Google to have third parties confirm they’re following safety standards. Illinois governor JB Pritzker says he’ll sign it.
Who could have seen this coming?
According to federal prosecutors, Michele Spagnuolo made more than $1 million on the prediction market platform using confidential information about Google Search traffic.
The update also introduces the app's take on film stock simulation.
Bungie also shared more information about what players can expect from the game's new season.
The Chinese company is adapting to the demise of Moore’s Law, which guides chip production. It could complicate US chip dominance.
Amid ongoing economic anxieties, BLK and other companies are giving away basic essentials to appeal to the public.
These WIRED-tested computer speakers, from stereo speakers to surround sound, will suit any budget.
Advances in adapters mean you could ditch Wi-Fi for better performance.
Designed by Jony Ive and a host of ex-Cupertino colleagues, the Luce shows us what might have been had Apple made good on its $10 billion bet.
“Republicans are just going to have to suck it up and get it done,” says one Trump aide about the funding melee. The votes, though, may simply not be there.
The ASUS ROG Zephyrus Duo is a gamer's dream machine, but its price is a nightmare.
Trajectory is betting the rapid iteration cycle that supercharged vibe-coding can help all kinds of companies build AI products that learn continuously.
These display smart glasses can connect to a phone, laptop, or gaming handheld and project the screen to your eyeballs.
The office was created a year ago and seemingly named for a far right European plan to expel minorities and immigrants from Western nations. It now works, a source says, with little to no oversight.
GoPro's Mission 1 Pro action cam has a big 1-inch sensor that offers sharp, color accurate 8K 60 fps and 4K 240 fps video.
The Fitbit Air is a serious rival to Whoop and other screenless wearable trackers thanks to its solid hardware, comprehensive software and competitive pricing.
Our first look at a complete version of Ferrari's upcoming luxury EV that was designed by LoveFrom.
Google's only giving us a tease of what it has planned for its new laptop lineup.
Entertainment
Gayle King's ex-husband is apologizing for cheating on her nearly 40 years ago with her own friend ... and the apology comes after Gayle rehashed the pain in a recent podcast. William Bumpus tells TMZ ... "My deepest apologies to Gayle, to our…
O.J. Simpson trial witness Kato Kaelin and his wife, Nan Xue Kaelin, are ending their marriage after less than 5 years together ... TMZ has learned. According to docs, obtained by TMZ ... Kato and Nan filed a joint petition for dissolution in Los…
E. Jean Carroll, the former magazine columnist who accused President Trump of sexual assault, is the target of a federal criminal investigation ... according to multiple reports. The investigation is said to be looking into whether Carroll…
Keanu Reeves is going to bat for a director convicted of defrauding Netflix out of $11 Million ... and you can read the letter the actor sent to a federal judge, where Keanu asks for a light sentence for his friend. Keanu's letter was part of a…
Talk about a broadcast going from sweet to stale real quick -- a Texas news anchor is getting absolutely dragged online after making a bizarre comment about BTS-themed Oreos. Check out this wild FOX 34 segment featuring anchor James Eppler, where…
John McClain, the co-executor of Michael Jackson's estate and a veteran music executive and producer, had been hospitalized for nearly a week after a fall at his Malibu home left him with a broken arm before he died Tuesday afternoon ... TMZ has…
Spencer Pratt's allegation about Mayor Karen Bass breaking the law in one of her campaign videos could lead to a police investigation ... TMZ has learned. Josué "Josh" Marcus with the City Clerk's Office tells TMZ they've seen Spencer's official…
DeenTheGreat is pleading not guilty to an attempted robbery charge after cops say he tried snatching a woman's phone during a confrontation on a yacht in Miami ... TMZ has learned. According to court docs obtained by TMZ, the influencer, whose real…
'Real Housewives of Orange County' alum Kelly Dodd is at the heart of a revenge porn case ... prosecutors say she shared footage of a female having sex and masturbating without their consent. According to new legal docs, obtained by TMZ, Kelly…
Influencer Ayla Woodruff is getting a divorce ... but not from the influencer she started a whole family with ... instead, it looks like she's divorcing a guy she's been separated from for more than 11 years. Ayla, who is pregnant with her second…
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