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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle's U.K. return mirrors the "half-in half-out" arrangement Queen Elizabeth rejected, a royal expert says.
Marcus Coleman rejected Democratic lawmakers' sympathy at a Capitol Hill hearing, saying none ever reached out after his daughter's life-changing crash.
Dan Driscoll's exit as Army secretary intensifies debate over whether Trump's Pentagon overhaul strengthens or destabilizes military leadership.
The social media crisis offers a cautionary lesson as AI companies build chatbot products that could intimately interact with children unchecked.
Joe Berlinger's Netflix docuseries argues the Charles Manson murders were not about starting a race war but covering up a drug deal gone bad.
A D.C. property owner says squatters turned her basement apartment into a drug haven, and police treated it as a landlord-tenant dispute only.
Germany accused Russia of a drone attack at Leipzig/Halle Airport and now pushes Baltic Sea allies to form a rapid-response hybrid warfare task force.
Dolly Parton's self-deprecating wit and comedic genius helped her shatter country music stereotypes and conquer Hollywood, colleagues recall.
Video and photos show passengers restraining a man with duct tape and zip ties on an American Airlines flight after a violent and racist midair outburst.
Missouri Attorney General Catherine Hanaway filed an emergency U.S. Supreme Court appeal to restore the Trump-backed congressional redistricting map.
Satire
JUDEA — In adherence to the teachings of Jesus, Simon, who is called Peter, was committed to forgiving the neighbor who wronged him up to "seventy times seven" times. Unfortunately, after forgiving him 73 times, Peter reportedly lost count and had to start all over.
BURBANK, CA — Panic swept through Warner Bros. Studios on Tuesday after a senior colorist was terminated for accidentally allowing visible primary colors to remain in a major motion picture.
NEW YORK, NY — Interviews conducted with employees of CBS News revealed that Editor-in-Chief Bari Weiss was facing internal backlash over allegations that she had attempted to commit actual journalism.
NEW YORK, NY — New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly seen standing in front of his bathroom mirror practicing his "sad face" in preparation for his upcoming appearance at the 9/11 memorial.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Friday that he had successfully annexed the Canadian hockey team, the Montreal Canadiens, and would be renaming them the Montreal Americans.
CHICAGO, IL — A fifth-grade teacher at Lincoln Elementary reportedly admonished her classroom on Thursday, asking the kids to please raise their hands to be called on instead of firing pistols into the air.
U.S. — The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity.
EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Sending the publisher scrambling to protect trade secrets related to the hotly anticipated project, leaks from Rockstar Games worsened Friday as hackers released a fully playable copy of Grand Theft Auto IX. “It’s heartbreaking having assets leak out for any of our projects
The CEO of Pabst Brewing Co. put up a $20,000 reward to anyone who could provide information that leads to the recovery of 1,602 missing cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon and non-alcoholic Old Milwaukee beers. What do you think?
The post PBR Offers $20,000 Reward For Lost Beer appeared first on The Onion.
Influencer Alix Earle is the star of Netflix’s newest reality show, Earle Meets World. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the series. Q: Who is Alix Earle? A: Alix is a Gen Z content creator known for eating expired military rations. Q: I thought her name was Alex Cooper. A: Ask yo
THE HEAVENS—Scratching His head and rifling through His notes as He tried to recall His reasoning for the decision, The Lord God, Supreme Creator of the Universe, reportedly struggled to remember on Friday why He made so many ugly people. “I could have given everyone on Earth perfect, symmetrica
Legacy mapping tool MapQuest shot up to become the top navigation app in Apple’s app store after refusing to comply with President Trump’s executive order renaming “Lake Ontario” to “Lake America,” overtaking Google Maps, Waze, and Apple Maps. What do you think?
The post MapQuest Jumps T
The post Gloria Steinem, Researcher Who Discovered Existence Of Women, Dead At 92 appeared first on The Onion.
From specialized nutrition plans to mental skills work to experimental equipment, the quest to stay healthy and productive now takes NFL athletes far beyond the weight room. Here are some ways players keep themselves fit throughout the season. Mental Skills In recent years, mental preparation has be
Country star Ella Langley is breaking records with her hit song “Choosin’ Texas,” which has now topped the Billboard Hot 100 for 20 weeks. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist. Nepotism Connection: Child of God Honors And Accolades: CMA Award For Female Vocalist Of The
HERSHEY, PA—Calling into question the candy brand’s apparent belief that consuming its chocolate-covered caramels constitutes a lively group activity, viewers told reporters Thursday that a new Rolo commercial greatly overestimates the social element of eating Rolos. “Rolo roll call!” a hand
Sports
College football is back! Previewing Week 1's top games and which teams are on upset watch.
Lane at LSU, Arch's next steps, Indiana's title defense and more give college football fans plenty to watch.
Alexander Isak disappointed after his record transfer fee last summer, but he was Liverpool's best player vs. Ipswich on Friday.
Your one-stop shop as you prep for draft season, including rankings, projections and analysis.
Despite names you know -- Moon, Culpepper, Favre, Cousins -- Minnesota hasn't had a franchise QB since Tarkenton.
Here's what to know about this group of rookies, including Rookie of the Year front-runners, fantasy favorites and QB updates.
Yamal scored his 50th club goal this week at 19 years and 49 days old. How does that compare to other prodigies who became greats of the modern game?
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the CFB Week 1 CMU vs New Mexico game.
US Open tournament director Eric Butorac handles player and broadcast scheduling requests. It's hectic and tough to please everyone -- but he loves it.
A competitive postseason and buzzy offseason have elevated some of the league's feistiest conflicts.
Can a change in leadership unlock Orlando's big three? Offseason recap and early looks at the 2026-27 season.
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the CFB Week 1 Clemson vs LSU game.
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the CFB Week 1 Hampton vs Maryland game.
Get the latest odds, prediction and pick for the Week 1 Texas Tech-Abilene Christian game, as well as information on how to watch.
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the CFB Week 1 Cincinnati and BC game.
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the CFB Week 1 Marshall vs Penn State game.
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the CFB Week 1 Abilene Christian vs. Texas Tech game.
Watch the 2026 INDYCAR season finale at Laguna Seca on Sunday, Sept. 6 at 2:30 p.m. ET on FOX and FOX One. See the schedule, streaming and championship details.
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the CFB Week 1 UAB Blazers and Illinois Fighting Illini game.
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the CFB Week 1 Ball State Cardinals and Ohio State Buckeyes game.
Tech
As Apple continues to upgrade its operating system and line of smartphones, smartwatches, displays, and computers, it's leaving plenty behind in 2026.
Memory issues could be behind your PC's performance problems, app crashes and random restarts. A Windows tool could help you understand what's going wrong.
Here are the new indie games worth checking out, plus an early look at shipbuilding, I Am Your Beast DLC and a cat trying to stop an AI office takeover.
I’ve rounded up the best smart speakers that let you talk to Alexa, from the popular Echo Dot to the newest Echo Studio.
Apple is expected to announce several products at its September event next week—including a folding phone—but the iPhone 18 might not be among them. It would be a first for the company.
Plus: Tens of millions of US and Canadian drivers’ licenses go up for sale on the dark web, the US military finally tries to tackle the risk online ad data poses to troops, and more.
The research could do more than help unlock the mystery of caterpillar hearing. It could also help make microphones better.
The main action took place at Geneva Watch Days, but others dialed in remotely to make sure it wasn't just a Swiss party.
The studio released an official catch-up list ahead of December’s release. We have easy links to watch every one of the movies so you can get up to speed.
Use a methodical approach to see what's using the most space on your PC and easily clean it up.
Tetris knockoff 'Build the Wall' is one of six new games hosted on the White House website, and The Tetris Company is not happy.
Florida joins a growing list of cities and states responding to the license plate reader backlash.
The Home Depot Labor Day sale goes hard on grills and tools. Here are our recommendations on what to buy—and what to ignore.
In what appears to be a follow-up to the mighty “CasiOak,” the rugged Japanese watch brand is expected to release an all-new luxury homage.
Zelda takes center stage on September 8 and everything else is being saved for September 9.
The US government is investigating whether the Cybercab, which lacks a steering wheel and pedals, meets vehicle safety standards.
OpenAI says it's investigating the incident after a group of researchers disclosed their findings.
While philosophers ponder AI consciousness, the models have ideas of their own.
Regulators will review the process and data Tesla used to self-certify the vehicle.
But you'll need a powerful system with 64GB of RAM to use it.
Entertainment
Convicted Tupac Shakur killer Duane "Keffe D" Davis is maintaining his innocence ahead of his sentencing, saying he didn't do "s—t" and wasn't anywhere near the murder scene. Davis was interviewed by the Hollywood Reporter for an article…
D4vd apparently made a pen pal while behind bars ... one whom it appears he initially agreed to help bail out -- before backing out of his promise. We've obtained letters D4vd sent to a "trustee," an incarcerated person who works inside the prison,…
Kat Graham is 37 and lookin' like she just fell from heaven ... so we're celebrating her latest trip around the sun! This 'Vampire Diaries' alum has been blessing our feeds for years, serving looks and killer curves. So, we figured out the best way…
Summer '26 was nothing shy of the A-list water warriors livin' their best lives and makin' big waves! Check out the gallery -- Justin Bieber vested up for a day of tubing on the lake ... and talk about babes on a jet ski?! Kelsey Calemine, Kaylor…
Kenny Smith admits the NBA went straight for the Clippers' neck, but he doesn't think the punishment was excessive ... when you consider Steve Ballmer's team skirted the rules in a major way! TMZ Sports spotted the hooper-turned-analyst at LAX on…
Lindsay Clancy gets a mistrial, and America might be more divided than the jury. Plus, Tiger Woods scores a sweet plea deal, Kanye and Big Sean hug it out, and fake 49er Daejon Love is giving LOLs. So, we gotta ask ...
From "Save the Last Dance" to the "Dancing With The Stars" ballroom, Julia Stiles is back on the dance floor, but before she steps out with Ezra Sosa, see if you can find the sneaky switches and throw 'em in the bag! She sure dressed to impress…
McKenna West is being dragged to court by her biological son’s baby daddy as she continues to fight the biological parents of the baby she gave birth as a surrogate ... TMZ has learned. According to court docs, obtained by TMZ, Robert Gross sued…
Jim Thornton's Facebook account has gone dark hours after he was fired from "Wheel of Fortune" ... and TMZ has learned the former announcer has also been scrubbed from the game show's social media channels. Thornton's Facebook page was no longer…
Aaron Rodgers is looking forward to retirement ... and says he hopes to start a family with his wife. The Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback opened up about his future during an interview with SiriusXM's "Mad Dog Sports Radio," saying he's hoping to…
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