US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow • Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson • Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Boston-based Automated Tire, Inc. unveils SmartBay, an AI-powered robotic platform that handles tire changes and wheel balancing with minimal human help.
Arizona Diamondbacks visit the Texas Rangers in an MLB betting preview with picks on the Rangers at -131 and player props for tonight's game.
Former Arcadia, California, Mayor Eileen Wang agreed to plead guilty to acting as an agent of China's government, prompting calls for a broader review.
The Israel Foreign Ministry blasted New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof's report on alleged sexual abuse of Palestinians, calling it "one of the worst blood libels" in modern press.
The Kansas City Chiefs' 2026 sourdough-themed schedule release sparks backlash online as fans and critics question the creative decision behind it.
Eminem's ex-wife Kim Mathers pleaded no contest to charges from an alleged hit and run in Michigan where she reportedly struck a parked vehicle.
The Senate confirmed Kevin Warsh to the Federal Reserve board, advancing Trump's pick to lead the central bank, despite months of legal disputes.
A writer who swore she'd never hang glide discovers how exhilarating a tandem flight at Lookout Mountain Flight Park can be just four years later.
Virginia Republicans call Democratic efforts to reverse the state Supreme Court's redistricting ruling "insane" as national Democrats weigh options.
Steve Hilton slammed Gov. Gavin Newsom's $20 million diaper initiative, arguing the program costs taxpayers three times what diapers sell for at Target.

Satire
U.S. — As part of ongoing efforts to empower the patient, medical website WebMD has added a convenient "Draft My Last Will And Testament" option for users researching their symptoms.
LOS ANGELES, CA — Democrats have unleashed vicious attack ads accusing L.A. mayoral candidate Spencer Pratt of not wanting to destroy the state of California.
LOS ANGELES, CA — Mayor Karen Bass received a glowing endorsement from California wildfires over the weekend, with thousands of acres of burned timber throwing their support behind Bass's re-election campaign.
LOS ANGELES—Admitting that it had cast a long shadow over his otherwise successful time in America, despondent Dodgers superstar Shohei Ohtani told reporters Tuesday that he figured he would have met Steve-O by now after eight years in the United States. “I saw Steve-O on TV so many times growin
CHICAGO—Plunged into sudden disarray and confusion, pedestrians on Augusta Boulevard were reportedly left frightened and wandering helplessly Monday after encountering a bright orange “Sidewalk Closed” sign. According to witnesses, a growing crowd of disoriented commuters were milling anxiousl
The post Gas Station Price Sign Using Scientific Notation appeared first on The Onion.
The post Cannes Film Festival Attendee Eating Nachos Out Of Plastic Beret appeared first on The Onion.
Ben Landau and William Roth: The happy couple married in a rusty grain silo Saturday after learning the price of renting out the barn. The post Ben Landau and William Roth appeared first on The Onion.
Every time I turn on the news, there’s something dreadful happening. Drugs pouring into our communities, innocent people dying in the streets, chaos unfolding in practically every corner of the country. Things outside the U.S. aren’t much prettier. Famine, war, poverty, terrorism. When did thing
MIAMI, FL — A newly christened golden statue of President Donald Trump may have healing powers, as sources confirmed a woman who had touched it was miraculously healed of her liberalism.
ROCKVILLE, MD — Hantavirus has quickly become the biggest viral threat to humanity since COVID and as luck would have it, Dr. Fauci has announced that he has been working on a hantavirus vaccine this entire time. How convenient!
WASHINGTON—Calling it a shocking attack on our nation’s cultural heritage, critics slammed President Donald Trump Monday for his decision to replace the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool’s original coconut flavor with blue raspberry. “For more than a century, a statue of Abraham Lincoln has g
You won't believe what my husband just did. There was this horrible looking bug — I don't know what it was, but it had LEGS and a BODY and I swear it was going to maybe crawl on me. It was in the den, but it could have crawled into the kitchen at any minute so I asked him to take care of it.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Liberals across the nation were horrified as Trump unveiled plans to turn the Lincoln Memorial's Reflecting Pool into the largest water amusement park east of the Mississippi.
The post Trump Unable To Figure Out Why He Surrounded By Chinese People appeared first on The Onion.
Three people have died and others have fallen ill after contracting hantavirus aboard a Dutch-owned luxury cruise ship. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the illness. Q: What are the symptoms of hantavirus? A: It starts with feeling stressed out about the state of the world. Q: Who
The post Post Malone Attempts To Sell More Tickets By Pushing Stadium Tour Back To 2017 appeared first on The Onion.
CARSON, CA — The famous Goodyear Blimp has become nearly unrecognizable after starting the popular weight-loss drug Ozempic.
PATMOS — The Apostle John emerged from his cave earlier this week feeling confident that he couldn't have been more clear in his description of the revelation he'd received.
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — Three Republicans refused to bow to the golden Trump statue at Mar-A-Lago, sources confirmed today. Those at the unveiling had been instructed to bow down and worship when Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the U.S.A." played on the PA system.

Sports
LeBron James, whose record-setting 23rd season ended with an unceremonious 115-110 loss to the Thunder in Game 4 of a second-round sweep of the Lakers, was noncommittal about whether he will continue playing in L.A. -- or elsewhere.
All of the important fantasy spin and actionable takeaways resulting from the latest baseball news.
Eric Karabell looks at the current batch of closers in fantasy baseball and which ones you need to pick up now.
A Florida state judge granted prosecutors' request to subpoena Tiger Woods' prescription drug records during a hearing following his March arrest on suspicion of DUI.
Rory McIlroy has admitted he was wrong last year when he urged the PGA Tour to unite with the Saudi-backed PIF.
Citing how FIFA was "rolling out the green carpet" for the World Cup, the NFLPA's JC Tretter said NFL players want the same high-quality surfaces.
Attorneys for the accused driver in the deaths of Johnny and Matthew Gaudreau argued that charges should be dismissed over a discrepancy in blood alcohol level reporting.
The defending AFC West champion Broncos and Kansas City Chiefs will square off Sept. 14 in the first "Monday Night Football" game of the coming season.
Khamzat Chimaev's team told ESPN that the fighter is "obsessed" with an immediate title rematch against Sean Strickland, adding it's "the only fight he will accept right now."
Ted Lasso star Cristo Fernández has become a professional football player after signing for the USL Championship side El Paso Locomotive, the club announced on Tuesday.
Christian Lundgaard got the big win at IMS that everyone saw coming. Find out how far he moved up the rankings.
Cal Raleigh is in a dark slump, the Giants defeated the Dodgers, the Orioles beat the Yankees, the Rays have the best record in the AL and more from Monday's MLB action.
Ty Gibbs and Chase Briscoe are powering up the rankings heading into the All-Star Race.
An arbitrator ruled in favor of the College Sports Commission in a key case brought on behalf of Nebraska football players.
Which stars are favored to win the MVP award sandwiched between the regular season and Finals MVP?
See the odds for who is favored to come out of each conference, now that Boston and Denver have crashed out.
Check out the latest NBA title odds as the postseason enters the second round.
The NBA playoffs are in full motion. Check out the odds for each second-round series.
Veteran Qatar forward Sebastián Soria has a chance to become the oldest outfield player to appear at a World Cup.
Bet $5, get $150 in Bonus Bets If Your Bet Wins with our FanDuel sportsbook offer for new users.

Tech
Google had a whole lot of news to share, including on new laptops and Gemini Intelligence.
Google's only giving us a tease of what it has planned for its new laptop lineup.
A device with at least 4GB of RAM is required to use the software.
They won't replace Chromebooks, but Googlebooks have an Android-centered operating system, AI-first features like the Magic Pointer, and a promise of desktop-grade apps.
You’ll soon be able to generate your own widgets or ask Gemini to finish a booking in Chrome on Android.
Upgrades include a revamped UI, support for widgets, immersive 3D maps and more.
The console price shoots up in September, so this might be a good way to save some cash.
Season three of Amazon's Lord of the Rings show skips forward several years from the second season finale.
Truth Predict was supposed to be the Trump family’s biggest leap yet into prediction markets. Now it’s looking more like a tiptoe.
Here’s what you need to know, from why the cruise ship outbreak won’t spark the next pandemic to how hantavirus spreads.
From claims of an Israeli false flag to efforts to sell ivermectin, influencers and grifters are using lessons learned from Covid-19 to push their baseless conspiracy theories.
Biohacker Bryan Johnson recently bragged about his girlfriend's “top 1%” vagina as the at-home vaginal microbiome test industry is thriving. But experts are skeptical.
Sarah Rudd, who once ran analytics for Arsenal, made her name applying the tenets of probability theory to movements on the pitch. Even she admits not everything can be solved with data.
Ahead of the hit show’s finale, cocreators Paul W. Downs and Lucia Aniello talk about media consolidation, the perils of censorship, and why they find AI “deeply disturbing.”
The Lifestudio Grand Plus isn’t without quirks, but the ultrashort-throw home cinema projector delivers a rich picture quality in movies and games, up to a 150-inch screen size.
Automate your pool cleaning with these surface-skimming, wall-scrubbing robots.

Entertainment
Prosecutors will get the chance to see Tiger Woods' prescription drug records, a judge has ruled. In a hearing at Martin County Circuit Court in Florida on Tuesday, the judge granted the state's request to subpoena records of Tiger's meds as part…
Benny Blanco is reflecting on a VERY close call ... AKA the night he almost stabbed his friend to death after mistaking him for a home intruder! He spilled the story on his "Friends Keep Secrets" podcast ... saying he woke up hearing a weird noise…
Mel Gibson was snapped in the middle of some PDA with a babe in Rome ... but TMZ has learned he's back in the U.S. -- and very single -- having just wrapped on a massive project. Here's the deal ... the actor-director star and the Italian…
Katy Perry's popping bottles and poking fun at her own love life after finding out ex-boyfriend Josh Groban is officially off the market ... jokingly mourning the guy she once called "The One That Got Away." The pop star hopped on TikTok Monday in…
The fallout continues over a controversial George Floyd joke made by Tony Hinchcliffe at "The Roast of Kevin Hart" ... with fellow stand-up comic and actor Lil Rel calling the moment gross ... and shaming the crowd for not booing. Lil Rel posted…
Another day, another dollar ... or, in this case, the $100 bill with Donald Trump's face on it. At least, that's just one of the wild A.I. images the president just shared. DT posted a slew of them on Truth Social Tuesday ... including a pic of…
Alix Earle's feud with Alex Cooper is hot on everyone's lips -- even the folks on daytime TV are grilling her about it ... and her response was VERY telling! Craig Melvin wasted zero time bringing up the messy back-and-forth drama surrounding her…
Sir Rod Stewart didn't hold back on the red carpet while greeting King Charles and Queen Camilla after their recent U.S. trip to see President Donald Trump! At Monday’s 50th anniversary celebration for The King's Trust at London's Royal Albert…
Hayden Panettiere is about to release her memoir... so she's been an open book about her life lately ... and recently shared one shocking story about upsetting a skincare brand she endorsed after making postpartum comments. HP recently said on the…
Hilary Duff's "luck ... or something" isn't running out anytime soon -- the former Disney star is now a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model!! The publication shared the big news on Tuesday ... making the announcement alongside some jaw-dropping…

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