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US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Hillary Clinton appears to shift stance on immigration, calling migration "disruptive" and advocating for secure borders at Munich Security Conference.
European fans waved Greenland's flag during Team USA's 6-3 win over Denmark in Olympic hockey amid President Donald Trump's acquisition plans.
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy met with U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio in Munich Saturday. He also said he spoke with Trump envoy Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner.
Canada's curling team fires back at Sweden after the Swedes accused Canadians of cheating at the Winter Olympics. Marc Kennedy alleged Sweden planned to catch teams breaking rules.
Over 250,000 anti-Iran regime protesters rally in Munich as Global Day of Action demonstrations span major cities worldwide calling for leadership change.
CBP officers seized 516 pounds of alleged cocaine worth $6.8 million hidden in flower truck at Laredo's World Trade Bridge border crossing during an inspection.
Team USA rallied from a 2-1 deficit to beat Denmark at the Milan Cortina Olympics, firing 47 shots and getting goals from six different players to stay in the hunt for gold.
USA Olympic figure skater Ilia Malinin finished eighth after falling twice during his performance, shocking fans who expected the American star to win gold.
Food Network's Guy Fieri won't eat these six common foods, from ghost peppers to scrambled eggs. The "Triple D" host's food aversions may shock you.
Brooks Nader reveals why she dissolved her facial fillers after fans said she "looked 40." The 29-year-old model shares her transformation journey.
Satire
The Babylon Bee has put together an absolutely incredible set of Valentine's Day cards that your special someone will absolutely love. The best part? It's all free! Simply print, sign, and watch the romance happen.
U.S. — Customers were helpfully alerted by an Amazon product's 4.2 star rating that it is obviously total crap.
U.S. — The ghost of Jim Crow has expressed bewilderment and fury that his name is being used to describe black Americans voting with an ID.
PREDAZZO, ITALY—Calling the incident a flagrant violation of both the rules of the event and the fundamental constants of the universe, International Olympic Committee officials confirmed Saturday that the Finnish ski jumping team had been caught tampering with Earth’s gravitational field in an
U.S. — Finally, after decades of obscurity on the subject, a groundbreaking new documentary will reportedly examine the history of World War II.
U.S. — Up-and-coming crime reporter Megan Coolidge said she was excited to hear about the latest gruesome kidnapping case, as it would be a huge boost to her career.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump issued an executive order on Friday authorizing the use of Poké Balls to catch illegal immigrants.
Since the invention of the wheel, many have pondered the greatest inventions of mankind. The Babylon Bee, however, is more fascinated by studying humanity's worst inventions.
SUCCOTH — Local patriarch Jacob was reportedly confused this week when his wife, Leah, appeared unimpressed with the Valentine's Day card he gave her that read, "I love you almost as much as I love your sister."
WASHINGTON—Praising the tireless efforts of the hundreds of agents who worked around the clock on the case, FBI director Kash Patel announced Friday that after almost two anguishing weeks, Savannah Guthrie had at last been located. “This morning before dawn, a hostage rescue team stormed a New Y
BLUE SPRINGS, MO — One of nature's most wondrous events was on full display at one suburban home this week, as a local husband followed his innate instinct to enter his annual hibernation period between the Super Bowl and Major League Baseball Opening Day.
U.S. — Border Czar Tom Homan announced on Friday that ICE would be withdrawing from Minneapolis in a strategic move to instead focus on enforcing laws in American cities.
The post ‘I Don’t Know How And It’s Not My Event’: Simone Biles On Her Decision Not To Snowboard At The Winter Olympics appeared first on The Onion.
The post Kid Rock Sells Entire Music Catalog For Extra-Large Bucket Of Cheese Balls appeared first on The Onion.
FORT MYERS, FL—Arriving in their nicest cleats, freshly oiled gloves, and carefully applied eye black in hopes of dazzling their coaches and peers, Major League Baseball pitchers and catchers reported to the annual Spring Training Dance Friday, marking the official return of baseball ahead of full
TrumpRx has officially launched. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the new government website. Q: What is TrumpRx? A: A strange line item you’ll see pop up on your credit card bill 15 times in a row. Q: What kinds of prescriptions can I get through TrumpRx? A: TrumpRx offers low
LEAWOOD, KS—Struggling to contain his shock and amazement Friday when he recognized a familiar face on TV, Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce reportedly yelled to his fiancée, Taylor Swift, “Yo! Taylor! Have you seen this shit?” after happening upon a Lena Dunham sex scene for the firs
The bride (tacky) and groom (cheapskate) had a fucking cash bar at their reception.
The post Wendy Tomalin and Lee Epsley appeared first on The Onion.
The U.S. economy experienced almost zero job growth in 2025, with the Bureau of Labor Statistics data indicating that the U.S. economy added only 181,000 jobs compared to 1.46 million in 2024. What do you think?
The post U.S. Gains Almost No Jobs In 2025 appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
Sunday at the Winter Olympics includes Mikaela Shiffrin trying to win gold in the giant slalom, Erin Jackson defending her 500m speedskating gold and USA men's hockey taking on Germany.
Our experts break down what to watch over the 2026 NBA All-Star Weekend and their picks for contests, competitions and more.
No. 15 Virginia beat Ohio State on Saturday night, 70-66, at Bridgestone Arena in the Nashville Hoops Showdown.
After some drama, the United States runs its tournament record to 2-0-0-0.
The U.S. men's Olympic hockey team rode its top line to a 6-3 win over Denmark and remain tied with also-unbeaten Canada going into the final day of the preliminary round.
The MAC presidents have voted to formally add FCS Sacramento State into the league as a football-only member starting in 2026, sources told ESPN.
Six players were ejected from Saturday's Big East clash between No. 17 St. John's and Providence after a hard foul by Friars forward Duncan Powell on Red Storm star Bryce Hopkins.
UConn, UCLA, South Carolina and Vanderbilt are the projected No. 1 seeds in the women's NCAA tournament, it was announced Saturday.
Which teams will make a splash move? Which teams must make adjustments? We answered big offseason questions.
The Raiders are promoting run game coordinator/defensive line coach Rob Leonard to defensive coordinator, sources told ESPN's Adam Schefter.
NBA commissioner Adam Silver called tanking the worst it has been in "recent memory" and said he's not ruling out any potential remedy, including taking away draft picks, to stop overt tanking.
No. 16 Texas Tech sent No. 1 Arizona to its second straight loss, shocking the Wildcats 78-75 on Saturday night.
C.J. Cox and Gicarri Harris each had 14 points to help No. 13 Purdue beat Iowa on Saturday night, 78-57.
Can William Byron win the Daytona 500 for the third consecutive year or is a long shot in play? Here are the latest odds, with insight from Bob Pockrass.
Saturday's Georgia-Oklahoma basketball game was delayed after a popcorn machine at a concession stand caught on fire.
Find out why Geoff Schwartz likes Notre Dame and Oregon's way-too-early odds to win the College Football Playoff at the end of next season.
Super Bowl LXI betting has already begun. And at one book, bettors are already anticipating an alliterative championship game.
The coaching carousel for the 2026 offseason continues to churn. Here are the latest news and rumors from around the NFL!
No. 17 St. John’s got a road victory over Providence on Saturday, which included a 19-minute delay in the action for a fight.
Iowa State overcame a slow start to get a convincing, ranked win over Kansas in a Big 12 conference showdown on Saturday.
Tech
Airbnb plans to double down on artificial intelligence to improve its user experience for both guests and hosts. During a fourth-quarter earnings call, Airbnb's CEO, Brian Chesky, said the company is building an "AI-native experience" aimed at helping guests book trips, assisting hosts with their li
Disney is going after another generative AI tool, accusing ByteDance and its recently released Seedance 2.0 of using its copyrighted material without permission. As first reported on by Axios, the Walt Disney Company sent a cease-and-desist letter to ByteDance, claiming the Chinese company developed
Need something new for your reading list? Here are two titles we think are worth checking out. This week, we read Aoife Josie Clements' deeply unsettling Persona, and the first issue of Bleeding Hearts, from the relaunch of the DC imprint, Vertigo.
This article originally appeared on Eng
OpenAI's GPT-4o may have survived its first brush with going offline, but it won't be as lucky this time. OpenAI has officially retired GPT-4o, the ChatGPT model that was seen as more conversational and notoriously sycophantic, on February 13. The news of GPT-4o's end was first announced in a post o
The Crew-12 mission, SpaceX’s 20th human spaceflight, launched at 5:15 AM Eastern on February 13 from Cape Canaveral in Florida. It’s expected to dock with the International Space Station today, February 14, at 3:15 PM, and you can watch the event below as it happens. By the time the mission’
MasterClass has dropped the price of its annual memberships by 50 percent, making it a more affordable way to explore its full library of courses across cooking, business, photography, writing and more. With the discount applied, you’ll spend $10 per month when billed annually for the Premium tier
The peak time for deals on streaming services — the holiday shopping season — has come and gone, but Disney is back with a fresh offer for the new year. New and eligible returning subscribers can get one month of the ad-supported Disney+ Hulu bundle for just $10. That's $3 off the usual monthly
Sony's wireless WH-1000XM6 headphones are on sale for $398 via Amazon. This is a record-low price, as it drops $62 from the price tag. The sale applies to all three colorways.
These easily topped our list of the best wireless headphones. They are, in a word, fantastic. The headphones are packed wit
If you're an iPhone user who likes to keep tabs on where your stuff is, you can't go far wrong with an AirTag. The second-gen model that Apple just released outpaces the original in every way (aside from the galling lack of a keyring hole, that is). While it's easy enough to replace the battery in b
Presidents’ Day is a great time to buy appliances, mattresses and furniture as they are often on sale for the holiday. Tech also gets discounted around this time, but you have to do a bit more digging to find actually good deals. And this year, Presidents’ Day comes right after Valentine’s Day
Should you splurge on the new Series 11, or will the SE 3 do? Let us help you figure out which version to get (and which to avoid).
With over a decade of experience in reviewing gaming laptops, here’s my rundown of what to consider before pulling the trigger.
Plus: Meta plans to add face recognition to its smart glasses, Jared Kushner named as part of whistleblower’s mysterious national security complaint, and more.
Whether you have privacy concerns or you just want to freely tinker, these are our favorite alternatives to stock Android.
Filing taxes is a pain. Here’s how H&R Block DIY performed against other services I tested.
Plus: iOS 26.3 makes it easy to switch to Android, Google cancels the Android 17 beta, and YouTube debuts on the Apple Vision Pro.
From February 14 to 16, these ultra-plush blankets and throws are nearly half off. No exclusions.
Some of the best sales of the year are happening right now—we’ll help you save on our all-time favorite mattresses and bedding.
The Mexican city of Guadalupe, which will host portions of the 2026 World Cup, recently showed off four new robot dogs that will help provide security during matches at BBVA Stadium.
Upgrade your setup with Sony’s newest releases. Save on industry-leading noise-canceling audio, and pro-level Alpha cameras.
Entertainment
This actor from across the pond has starred in -- and even written -- some of the biggest hit films of the 21st century ... but, can you guess who he is without seeing his face? It wasn't mission impossible to get this star to talk to us back in…
"Silence of the Lambs" totally missed the mark when it came to handling gender identity onscreen ... so says one of the movie's biggest stars. Ted Levine -- the actor who played Buffalo Bill in the hit 1991 film -- finally addressed the controversy…
Travis Kelce's used to big hits while playing sports ... but he's not usually the guy doling them out -- and certainly not with a golf ball! The Kansas City Chiefs star played the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am Friday ... but ran into some trouble on…
Spencer Pratt might have a ton of supporters backing his Los Angeles mayoral run ... but, his sister Stephanie isn't one of them -- because she's warning people not to elect him! Stephanie took to social media Saturday to bash her bro's political…
Valentine's Day is just around the corner ... and who better to give advice on how to have a romantic evening than Nelly and Ashanti! We caught up with the music power couple on the red carpet of the Fanatics Super Bowl party Sunday in San…
4:49 PM PT -- A rep for Tone Loc tells TMZ ... he's fine, and he's on his way back to Los Angeles. The rep neither confirmed nor denied the medical incident announced by The Krewe of Kolosse. Tone Loc -- the popular rapper best known for the hit…
Barack Obama's finally responding to President Donald Trump sharing a video depicting him and his wife as apes ... part of the "clown show" he says the current prez is putting on. The 44th President of the United States responded to the racist vid…
James Van Der Beek's friends stepped up to help him secure a down payment on his family's Texas ranch before he passed away ... his rep revealed. People spoke to the rep about the $4.7 million Texas Ranch, which, as we reported, he bought on…
Parker Sutherland -- a college football standout at the University of Northern Iowa -- has died ... the school announced Saturday. The college freshman passed away Saturday morning -- just 10 days before his birthday -- the school announced ...…
Rihanna went to support A$AP Rocky's fashion pursuits ... but her outfit gained the most attention when she accidentally flashed her backside. The singer-songwriter stepped out in an all-black ensemble Friday night to attend her man's AWGE fashion…
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