US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow • Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson • Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Brockton officials announced an overnight curfew ahead of Cape Verde's World Cup match, citing shootings, reckless driving and public safety concerns.
Fitness influencer Wes Watson pleaded guilty to aggravated battery after footage showed him striking a man with a weightlifting belt at a Miami gym.
Ring doorbell footage shows the Tesla Model 3 slamming into a Katy, Texas, home at 73 mph while the DoorDash driver claims Full Self-Driving was engaged.
Athletics prospect Ryan Lasko still can't feel his lower half after spinal surgery to repair fractured vertebrae from a scary outfield collision.
Karlie Kloss says she's a Democrat who believes in bipartisan dialogue, revealing how she navigates family dinners as part of the extended Trump family.
Mexican national Julio Alvarez Lopez pleaded guilty after prosecutors said he made a weapon from pens before a Seattle-to-Las Vegas flight and tried to stab a stranger through the eye.
Pramila Jayapal slammed Josh Shapiro and Democratic colleagues for "disrespectful" treatment of socialists winning primaries across the party.
Dana White reveals how Donald Trump pushed for a bigger stage at UFC Fight Night at the White House as a storm split around the Ellipse during the event.
University of Minnesota researchers say "SpudCell" is the most life-like synthetic cell yet, able to grow, divide and pass traits to offspring.
A viral TikTok livestream led to a public caning for a young couple in Indonesia's Aceh province after they were convicted of kissing during a TikTok livestream.

Satire
The post Olivia Rodrigo Adds Adult Diapers To Merch Table appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK, NY — Defying old age and government authorities, libertarian firebrand Ron Paul was spotted climbing to the top of the Empire State Building, where he unfurled a large banner that read, "End The Fed!"
WASHINGTON—In a judgment the majority of justices said reflected the intentions of the Founding Fathers, the U.S. Supreme Court issued a 6-3 ruling this week that upheld state bans on transgender athletes, adopting an originalist vision for junior varsity volleyball rosters. “In their abundant w
U.S. — The Transportation Security Administration announced on Thursday that it had officially placed the entire Democratic Party on the No Fly List.
The post LeBron Hopeful New Team Has One Of His Kids On It Too appeared first on The Onion.
PITTSBURGH—Noting that the man could often be seen waiting outside O’Malley’s Tap with his hands shaking in anticipation before the doors even opened, sources confirmed Thursday that local 54-year-old Brian Munson, who goes to the bar every day at 10 a.m., must be a huge soccer fan. “You can
WASHINGTON—Claiming there were strings of explosive devices planted throughout the National Mall, President Donald Trump reportedly attempt to cover up low attendance at the Great American State Fair this week by calling in a bomb threat. “There’s a series of explosives in unmarked duffel bags
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Washington Democrats were getting out the vote early ahead of the November midterms, pledging to reform U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) so it only deports immigrants who love America.
BIRMINGHAM, AL — A new technique for managing children was discovered this week, as local woman Sarah Bailey got her kids to behave by threatening them with a fun family road trip.
Upon the former House Speaker’s retirement from Congress, Nancy Pelosi and the University of California, Berkeley, will establish the Nancy Pelosi Institute for Representative Democracy, a nonpartisan organization “dedicated to strengthening American democracy.” What do you think? The post UC
Elle, a new Legally Blonde prequel series on Amazon Prime Video, has premiered to mixed reviews. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the show. Q: How is the story updated for 2026? A: The story is now spread out over 16 more hours than it needed to be. Q: What stereotypes does […] T
EL PASO, TX — Witnesses reported that a migrant woman gave birth right on the U.S.-Mexico border this morning, sadly making only the top half of the baby American.
ORLANDO, FL — After years of being admired for his absolutely shredded physique, local man Chris Kolaski finally revealed that his secret to looking like a Greek god was water aerobics.
NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani asked New Yorkers weathering the heatwave to keep their thermostats at a scorching 78 degrees so as not to tax the city's inadequate power grid. Still, Mamdani said he had other ways to cool down anyone who complains: "Off to gulag!"
WASHINGTON—Displaying an uncanny comprehension of humanity’s power structures as they emerged from their interstellar spacecraft, a delegation of surprisingly politically informed aliens issued demands Tuesday to be taken to Earth’s biggest pedophile. “People of Earth, you will bring us bef
Desire To Murder May Have Driven Man To Pull Trigger The post Police Suspect Gunman’s Motive Was To Kill Bunch Of People appeared first on The Onion.
Legendary corporate raider Bruce Nakagami, 76, is doing leveraged buyouts with the angels now. The post Bruce Nakagami appeared first on The Onion.
Before the United States Supreme Court handed down its ruling that effectively banned trans athletes from competing in women's sports, a wide range of competitors were working toward achieving their lifelong dreams. Now, those dreams are over. These are their stories.
LONDON — A rape gang was busted Wednesday after British police received an anonymous tip that they'd been illegally using an air conditioner.
METROPOLIS — The public was once again amazed by one of its heroes in recent days, as Supergirl unveiled a new superpower, showing the awesome ability to lose $100 million in a single week.

Sports
Gonçalo Ramos headed in a pass from Rafael Leão in stoppage time as Cristiano Ronaldo, who had earlier converted a penalty kick, watched from the bench while Portugal defeated Croatia 2-1 on Thursday, ending Luka Modrić's fifth bid for a World Cup.
Billy Donovan agreed to become the lead assistant coach for San Antonio and head coach Mitch Johnson, sources said.
The U.S.' victory against Bosnia-Herzegovina on Wednesday night was the most-watched soccer telecast in English-language history, with more than 24.4 million viewers, according to Fox Sports.
Restricted free agent Tari Eason has agreed to a five-year, $81.5 million deal to return to the Houston Rockets, sources told ESPN's Shams Charania on Thursday.
Angel Reese said it was "disrespectful" for the Eastern Conference-leading Dream to have no starters in the WNBA All-Star Game.
Cade Cavalli and Willson Contreras each have been suspended seven games for their roles in a benches-clearing brawl at Fenway Park on Tuesday night. Miles Mikolas received a five-game suspension, and Red Sox outfielder Nate Eaton got a three-game ban.
Former Celtics star Jaylen Brown says he is "excited and disappointed" over his trade to the 76ers.
Enjoying the World Cup? Well, what if NFL players were divided by where they are from and had a similar tournament? We made eight rosters and played it out.
One day after trading for Jaylen Brown, the 76ers have entered the mix for LeBron James and are attempting to pitch him, sources said.
Cristiano Ronaldo and Lamine Yamal will meet again when Spain and Portugal go head-to-head in the 2026 FIFA World Cup round of 16 on Monday at Dallas Stadium.
The U.S. match against Bosnia-Herzegovina on Wednesday night was the most-watched soccer telecast in English language history with more than 24.4 million viewers.
See the latest odds for the Round of 16, now that the World Cup is winding down.
Check out the odds for the Round of 32, now that losses equal elimination at the 2026 World Cup.
Who will Portugal face in the round of 16? Here are the possible opponents and its potential path to the final.
Here is what the round of 16 at the 2026 FIFA World Cup looks like as teams continue to punch their tickets into the next round.
Unai Simón hasn't allowed a goal in 519 consecutive minutes across the past two World Cups. He broke the record set in 1990 by famed Italy goalkeeper Walter Zenga, who recorded 517 straight scoreless minutes and five consecutive clean sheets in his home World Cup.

Tech
The satirical site is fighting to officially take over Infowars. In the meantime, CEO Ben Collins says the new show will mock “how fucking stupid” conspiratorial brain rot has become.
Pocket is listed in app stores but seemingly unavailable in the US.
The hosting platform wants sites to have more control over how AI companies use their content.
“We have more people voting on the ‘Love Island USA’ app than we do in many political elections taking place across the country,” says the show's executive producer.
One of Kalshi’s most prominent traders tells WIRED he’s swearing off Spotify-related markets until the issue is resolved.
Laptop chargers are much easier to travel with these days, and there's one specific technology that is largely to thank.
Cursor hopes to continue offering third-party AI models after it's acquired by SpaceX, testing the relationships between frontier AI labs.
The federal agency says it will temporarily schedule the drug, which has been called “gas station heroin,” as a controlled substance—a boon for MAHA and the mainstream kratom industry.
Capcom is trying to get Onimusha: Way of the Sword out the door before the fall release calendar gets really crowded.
Adjust your options for things like account recovery, ad personalization, and which parts of your Google profile are shared publicly.
Fake Mr Beast "promotions" are ubiquitous on Threads - they're also part of massive crypto scam network.
When going abroad, the right plugs are essential to keep your gadgets charged. These are my favorite travel adapters and chargers.
There are now enough Amazon Leo satellites to launch the service, but its constellation is still tiny compared to Starlink's.
A long-defunct developer returned from the dead promising to revive the 3DO, but quickly pulled its pledge when it became apparent it didn't have the right to.
The Bublue BuVortex V5 ditches conventional skimming for a vortex-powered design that’s fascinating to watch, even if it’s severely impractical.
Slate is the latest automaker to transition to lower-cost batteries perfected in China, driven in part by the repeal of EV tax credits that required materials to be sourced domestically.
I ripped open $892 worth of Pokémon packs on my phone in under 15 minutes and walked away with 62 cents. My adrenaline rush felt like the future of gambling.

Entertainment
Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds are spending Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's wedding weekend a couple of hundred miles away from the festivities ... another indication that Blake and Taylor's once close friendship is over. TMZ has obtained photos…
Britney Spears kept things low-key ahead of the Fourth of July holiday weekend, stepping out for a drive in Los Angeles with her bodyguard. The pop star was spotted Thursday riding in the passenger seat of a black Mercedes-Benz G-Wagon while her…
It's time! We've got a glimpse of some more of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's wedding guests leaving their hotel to head to the rehearsal dinner. Cameras caught Taylor's childhood best friend, Abigail Anderson Berard, Travis' aunt and uncle, Joan…
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are running a tight ship for their wedding weekend ... because even the cops working inside aren't allowed to have their phones ... TMZ has learned. Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ ... NYPD officers…
Angelina Jolie is firing back at her ex-husband Brad Pitt ... as he attempts to get his hands on her old tax returns ... TMZ has learned. The actress filed new court docs in her never-ending war with Brad over Chateau Miraval -- the French estate…
Britney Spears was stressin' about her sons Sean Preston and Jayden Federline hitting the runway ... but they say it was all out of love. Jayden revealed to Vogue that Britney was "so nervous for us" before he and his brother made their Paris…
What better way to head into the Fourth of July weekend than checking out what’s cooking on the grill ... and Hollywood is bringing the meat. Joe and Kevin Jonas tag-teamed the grill like pros -- flipping meat and corn on the cob like they meant…
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce have pretty much taken over NYC for their wedding, going down Friday ... but a recent easter egg has fans thinking the famed couple already "tied the knot." Here's the deal ... some Swifties think Taylor used the "Toy…
It looks like Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce might be turning their wedding weekend into a movie ... because we've spotted a filming notice outside the venue. The notice reads that there will be photography and videography going around in and around…
Selena Gomez and music producer Jack Antonoff wouldn't miss out on Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's big wedding at MSG ... because we caught them in all their glory on their way to the wedding rehearsal. Check it out ... Selena posted on her story…

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