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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Senator Ted Cruz says DOT conspired with cities to house migrants in airports, allowing transportation of individuals without proper identity checks.
Nicolás Maduro dances to electronic remix of his peace speeches while US warships patrol Venezuelan coast in escalating diplomatic standoff with America.
Swedish climate activist Greta Thunberg banned from Venice after participating in coordinated Extinction Rebellion actions across ten Italian cities.
Illegal immigrant pleads guilty to stealing DHS Secretary Kristi Noem's Gucci bag with $3,000 cash and badge, faces deportation after sentencing.
Cincinnati Bengals star Ja'Marr Chase issued a lengthy apology after serving a one-game suspension for spitting at Pittsburgh Steelers cornerback Jalen Ramsey in Week 11.
Arizona Democratic Senator Ruben Gallego said on CNN Monday that military members could face some consequences if they followed orders persecuting lawmakers.
Dallas Cowboys safety Alijah Clark received high praise from NFL fans as his hustle on a key turnover against the Philadelphia Eagles was shared on social media.
ICE officer assaults surge 1,150% as DHS reports 238 violent attacks in 11 months, blaming sanctuary city rhetoric for escalating violence against agents.
BBC's DC-based executive producer and news editor Adam Levy abruptly exited the outlet after complaints were reportedly made about his "management style."
Vikings quarterback J.J. McCarthy entered concussion protocol after reporting symptoms following a brutal loss to the Packers, leaving rookie Max Brosmer as the potential starter.
Satire
CAPERNAUM — Residents of several nearby villages were abuzz with excitement this week, as the traveling carpenter-turned-teacher Jesus of Nazareth healed a demon-possessed man by taking away his smartphone.
CASTRO MARIM, PORTUGAL — According to sources, American tourist Debrah Thompson's mood soured Monday after seeing her husband gaze in wonderment at the Guadiana International Bridge, knowing in her heart that he would never look at her like she was a cool suspension bridge.
The Muslim Brotherhood was officially designated a terrorist organization by the Trump administration, but they weren't the only ones.
Sales of an AI-enabled plush teddy bear were suspended after it was found to have given children explicit sexual content and dangerous guidance, such as where to find knives in the home and discussions of fetishes. What do you think?
The post AI-Enabled Teddy Bear Pulled From Shelves For Giving Advi
WASHINGTON—Describing the practice as a “fun little side project” rather than an occupation, Education Secretary Linda McMahon announced Monday that nursing would be reclassified as a hobby under new student loan regulations. “While those seeking degrees in veterinary medicine, law, and podi
MICHEL DELVING — According to the Gaffer, medical professionals published a paper linking the high rate of cancer among Hobbits to the smoking of pipeweed, a correlation he called "queer."
CHICAGO, IL — Residents of the Windy City noticed that it was beginning to look a lot like Christmas these days, as the Chicago Police Department kicked off the holiday season by unveiling festive red and green crime scene tape.
LANSING, MI — Local woman Mildred Donavon reportedly impressed her friends and family this week when she brought home the world's most effective and adorable alarm clock.
Suspicions were raised around the internet as Wormtongue's X account was revealed to have been created in Isengard.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Anguished gobbles were heard throughout the Beltway this morning, after news broke that President Donald Trump would be executing all the turkeys pardoned by former President Joe Biden's autopen.
According to a new AAA report, a record number of Americans plan to travel 50 miles or more for the holidays this year. The Onion examines the key facts and figures behind Thanksgiving travel. 60,000 Redeemed airline miles wasted on round-trip flight to Ohio 2 Oven-roasted whole turkeys each passeng
WASHINGTON—In an attempt to dispel rumors of an affair during the 2024 presidential campaign, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. held a press conference Monday during which he denied ever laying eggs in Vanity Fair editor Olivia Nuzzi. “I know there has been a lot of specu
BOSTON—Prematurely assuming he had reached the end of the 1977 rock masterpiece, local man Peter Verran, who thought Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain” was over, was reportedly in for the thrill of his fucking life Monday. According to eyewitnesses, Verran incorrectly understood the receding guitar
The post Interactive COP30 Exhibit Allows Attendees To Be Shot Up Into Air On Big Spurt Of Oil appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Reversing course after fierce backlash over the decision’s potentially divisive nature, the U.S. Coast Guard announced Friday that it would abandon plans to reclassify the swastika from a hate symbol to the military branch’s official mascot. “As of now, there are no ongoing plans
BELCHERTOWN, MA—Cautiously eyeing up a nearby mare in what barnyard sources described as a mixture of flirtation and guarded optimism, local horse Oatmeal reportedly took several moments Monday to assess whether a potential mate was also a horse. “I have pretty high standards, so I just want to
The post Ken Burns’ ‘The American Revolution’ Ends With Number To Call If You Considering Founding Nation appeared first on The Onion.
AMARILLO, TX — Local pastor Robbie Ashlock has installed a "Heresy Gong" in the sanctuary for whenever the associate pastor is up to preach.
An inmate in Australia is suing over a ban on prisoners eating Vegemite, arguing that forbidding the yeast-based spread violates his human right to “enjoy his culture as an Australian.” What do you think?
The post Australian Prisoner Sues For Right To Eat Vegemite appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
When a free agent signs a new contract, there's always a big questions about what's next for the teams involved. We're breaking down all the big deals.
Dodgers superstar Shohei Ohtani will play for Team Japan in the 2026 World Baseball Classic as the country looks to defend their 2023 title.
Shedeur Sanders will start at quarterback in Sunday's game against the 49ers, Browns coach Kevin Stefanski announced Monday.
The Saints are bringing in former Ravens kicker Justin Tucker for a tryout, coach Kellen Moore confirmed.
The College Football Playoff and ESPN agreed to extend the deadline to Jan. 23 to determine if there will be any changes made to the format for 2026 and beyond.
Bengals wide receiver Ja'Marr Chase apologized Monday for spitting on Steelers defensive back Jalen Ramsey.
What has each Top 25 team improved in most since the season started?
The MRI for Buccaneers quarterback Baker Mayfield revealed a low-grade AC joint sprain in his left shoulder but showed no additional damage, sources told ESPN's Jeremy Fowler on Monday.
Attorneys for Brian Kelly have informed LSU in a letter that the school's claim that it had not "formally terminated" Kelly as its football coach has "made it nearly impossible" for Kelly to get another coaching job.
A pair of Phoenix Suns minority owners allege that Mat Ishbia is using the franchise as "his personal piggy bank" in a lawsuit claiming misconduct and mismanagement by the Suns' governor.
Andfrej Stojakovic sank a tough spin jumper, plus the foul, to extend the Illinois Fighting Illini's lead over the Texas-Rio Grande Valley Vaqueros.
The third in-season men's AP Top 25 poll for 2025-26 is out. Here's what's next for every team in the standings.
Joel Klatt said that the Michigan-Ohio State rivalry is in its "greatest moment." Here are his early thoughts on the matchup.
Ahead of "The Game," Michigan head coach Sherrone Moore spoke candidly about what he and the 18th-ranked Wolverines expect from No. 1 Ohio State.
Danny Parkins, Coach Eric Mangini, and Willie Colon break down whether Shedeur Sanders is the Cleveland Browns’ “solution” at QB and if the Los Angeles Rams remain untouchable.
Here’s what’s next for the Mets and Rangers, and Marcus Semien’s future impact, after the fascinating trade.
There's no better way to start the week than by revisiting the best moments from Saturday. Here are 10 takeaways from Week 13.
Nick Wright, Kevin Wildes, Chris Broussard, and Danny Parkins debate the Chiefs OT win, whether the Cowboys’ comeback or Eagles’ collapse matters more, and how seriously to take the 8–3 Bears.
Underdog Fantasy Promo Code 'FOXSPORTS' Unlocks Play $5, Get $100 Promo for 49ers-Panthers Plus Extra Feast Week Promos.
Best Feast Week Promotions From DraftKings, FanDuel, Bet365 and More.
Tech
Cameo, the app that allows people to buy short videos from celebrities, has won an important victory in its legal battle against OpenAI. On Monday, a federal judge granted the company a temporary restraining order against OpenAI, CNBC reports. Until December 22, the startup is not allowed to use th
One of the more intriguing prospects Amazon revealed at its devices and services event back in September was Alexa Home Theater, a surround sound mode for select Echo speakers. Amazon has now confirmed to Engadget that it's rolling out Alexa Home Theater "broadly" starting today.This could make Echo
In the last few years, pizza ovens have become as much of a backyard staple as a grill. There are many options for making restaurant-quality pies at home in a range of styles. What’s more, many models allow you to change up the fuel type, and some even allow you to do more than simply fire off piz
HBO Max has rolled out a limited-time, one-year subscription deal, offering a chance to stream HBO originals and Warner Bros. blockbusters at a lower cost. The platform has reduced pricing to $3 per month for one year, bringing the final cost down to $36 for the year. With many streaming services in
Nintendo gear is always sought after during the holiday shopping season, but this year likely more so than others. The Nintendo Switch 2 is the console launch of 2025 and it will undoubtedly be at the top of many wish lists for both kids and adults alike. If you were hoping to save a bit on the cons
It's been a long road to get here, but the surreal skateboarding sim Skate Story will actually be available to play on December 8. The title will also be a day-one Game Catalog release for PlayStation Plus subscribers, which is a great perk for Sony fans. It'll be available on other platforms, like
Hot on the heels of Google's Gemini 3 Pro release, Anthropic has announced an update for its flagship Opus model. Now at version 4.5, the new system offers state-of-the-art performance in coding, computer use and office tasks. No surprise there, those have been some of Claude's greatest strengths fo
There’s no denying Apple’s massive reputation in the tech world. And it appears it’s not just hype — our reviews put an Apple product at the top of our buying guides to tablets, smartwatches, smartphones and laptops. But Apple devices aren’t cheap. That’s why it’s a good idea to wait f
With Black Friday around the corner, OpenAI is upgrading ChatGPT's shopping capabilities just in time to make spending your money even easier. Starting today, the company has begun rolling out shopping research, a new feature inside of ChatGPT designed to simplify the process of comparing different
Monarch Money is one of our favorite budgeting apps and, fittingly enough, there's a way for newcomers to save money on a subscription right now. If you use the code MONARCHVIP at checkout, you can get an annual plan for 50 percent off. It typically costs $100, but you can get 12 months of access fo
This sophisticated smart ring is marked down to just $249, and it tracks a ton of health data.
This is the best way to play classic N64 games in 2025.
Early Black Friday discounts—and a flash sale—help bring down the price of the iconic Herman Miller Aeron.
Looking to step up to the TV big leagues? These are the best OLED TVs you can buy.
The world's greatest skyrunner shares the shoes, fitness tracker, and practices that let him climb every mountain in the Western United States in just 31 days.
Rewind to the classic games of the ’70s and ’80s with a WIRED-tested home arcade machine.
Born out of an internal hackathon, Amazon’s Autonomous Threat Analysis system uses a variety of specialized AI agents to detect weaknesses and propose fixes to the company’s platforms.
Should you splurge on the new Series 11? Or will the Watch SE 3 do? Let us help you figure out which version to get (and which to avoid).
From gluten-free to sourdough and beyond, swap store-bought bread for freshly baked with these convenient machines.
Earlier this year, I attended a shooting competition for queer, often trans, very online misfits. Then Charlie Kirk was killed.
Entertainment
Kandi Burruss is opening up a little bit more on her divorce from Todd Tucker ... she says the split had been "brewing." The 'RHOA' alum talked divorce Monday on Amazon Live ... she filed to divorce Todd last Friday but says they had been hurtling…
Two University of Alabama at Birmingham football players were released from the hospital ... just days after they were allegedly stabbed by their teammate, who is now facing an attempted murder charge. Blazers interim head coach Alex Mortensen, who…
A young woman who was shot dead in Northridge, Los Angeles has been identified as Maria De La Rosa, a singer who went by the name DELAROSA. The 22-year-old Latin artist was struck by gunfire in what was described as an "ambush-style" killing and…
Godfrey's not convinced Nicki Minaj is going to bat for Christians in Nigeria for all the right reasons ... and he wonders if she's trying to get on President Trump's good side for something down the line. We got the comedian at LAX on Monday, and…
Time for a smokin' hot guessing game! Do you think you've got what it takes to score the unknown rapper flauntin' her bod in this eye-popping pic?! Before she was famous, she was a hairdresser ... her stage name and her hair color definitely align!…
Brooks Nader's hit reality show "Love Thy Nader" is coming back! Hulu just renewed it for a second season, and if the video we just got is any indication ... it's insanely sexy! The decision came fast, too ... the series only just premiered on…
Jake Haro -- the man sentenced Monday to 25 years to life for murdering his 7-month-old son, Emmanuel -- just had his first state prison mug shot snapped, showing him looking as cold as the killer he is. The 32-year-old is now locked up at…
"Orange Is the New Black" star Taryn Manning gave an X-rated performance Monday, showing off her bare breasts in a bizarre Instagram video. The clip shows her dancing barefoot, with her unbuttoned shirt billowing all the way open, before she drops…
CJ Perry hit us with a curveball when she crashed the TMZ Livestream Monday ... instantly squaring up with one of our staffers, and leaving us ready to call in a ref and slap down a timeout sign! Jokes -- it was all fun and games, obviously! CJ had…
Anna Kepner was murdered on a Carnival Cruise ship ... at least that's the conclusion reached on her death certificate. The document, obtained by ABC News, says Anna died as a result of "mechanical asphyxia" on November 6, and it notes the…
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