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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
A Security Aviation charter flight carrying two pilots and six passengers crashed at a remote radar site near Cape Newenham, Alaska, killing all eight people aboard.
A man dressed as Darth Vader mocked Flock surveillance cameras at a San Diego City Council meeting, saying the technology would help find "rebel scum."
Patrick Clancy testified about his children as Lindsay Clancy's defense argues postpartum psychosis.
Deferred contracts have existed in MLB for decades, with dozens of players across the league currently using them, not just the Los Angeles Dodgers.
Caitlin Clark lashed out at Paige Bueckers after a halftime foul in the Indiana Fever vs. Dallas Wings game, sparking a fiery on-court exchange.
Fernando Mendoza's second pass of the preseason game between the Las Vegas Raiders and Houston Texans was intercepted and returned 80 yards for a TD.
Video showed riders suspended vertically on the AtmosFEAR ride at Oaks Park after the spinning pendulum malfunctioned on opening day of summer 2024.
Kim Slusser, mother of former San Jose State volleyball star Brooke Slusser, led the eighth Sophie Cunningham rally outside American Airlines Center.
Deportees from Venezuela, Cuba, and Colombia arrived in Liberia as the West African nation agreed to accept up to 1,200 foreign nationals from the US over the next year.
An Alabama jury awarded Kai Spears $9.25 million in damages after finding The New York Times defamed the former University of Alabama basketball player.
Satire
PALO ALTO, CA — After experiencing repeated mascara malfunctions, local woman Brittany Gleeson admitted to friends that it took over 600 takes to get the right video of herself crying into her camera.
HADES — A man was sent straight to Hell after his new phone autocorrected his text message from "Praise God" to "Praise Fod."
LONDON — Dozens of liberal white women gathered outside a local courthouse, weeping and holding signs of support for serial killer Jack the Ripper.
CYBERSPACE — An A.I. assistant working with a middle-aged dad from Maine reportedly grew concerned that its human might be a bit of a moron.
APPLETON, WI—Wide-eyed and unusually still as he took in the unfamiliar sight before him, local 9-year-old Connor Walsh reportedly got a nice long look at the small of his father’s back Thursday while the 44-year-old bent down to retrieve a ping-pong ball that had rolled beneath a basement shelv
Nestled in the heart of the South, there's a reason America's 22nd state is called "Sweet Home Alabama."
U.S. — The United States of America plunged into collective sorrow and mourning yesterday upon learning the devastating news that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle would be moving back to England.
School is back in session for millions of students across the country. The Onion shares tips for ensuring your child has a safe commute. Attend a different school each day to throw would-be kidnappers off your trail. Determine if your bus driver needs uppers, downers, or both. If cycling to school
CHICAGO—Basing the instructions almost entirely on a mental map of his surroundings that had seemingly not been updated since 2002, local dad Kenan Volmer reportedly offered his children driving directions to their uncle’s house Thursday that hinged on where an old Shell station used to be. “S
CHICAGO—As she navigated the concert crowd with increased vigilance, local woman Penelope Frasier issued a red alert Thursday, warning that the music venue she and her friends had just entered was an absolute minefield of her ex-boyfriends. “There could be one hiding around every corner,” said
ICE announced plans to spend up to $20 million on gloves that deliver electric shocks to people who do not cooperate. What do you think?
The post ICE To Equip Officers With Electric Shock Gloves appeared first on The Onion.
The post Dead Fantasy Football Commissioner’s Password Guessed Again appeared first on The Onion.
The post The Nude, Shrieking, 12-Foot Man Only We Can See: Could He Be The Next James Bond? appeared first on The Onion.
Harry Potter fans forced the relocation of a multi-hundred million dollar undersea power cable they claimed would disturb the fake grave of the fictional house elf Dobby, the linkage now redirected to pass near actual Bronze Age human burial remains. What do you think?
The post ‘Harry Potter’ Fa
BUFFALO, NY—Audibly groaning before declaring the event “a major letdown” compared to competitions in previous years, local baseball fan Dylan St. John reportedly switched off Wednesday’s Little League World Series game between Canada and Asia-Pacific due to neither team having a big fat kid
Candidates from the left’s Democratic Socialists of America party have been gaining momentum around the country in primaries leading up to the midterms. The Onion examines the common myths and facts surrounding the DSA. MYTH: Socialist ideas have never worked in the real world. FACT: No political
Sports
Liverpool are looking at alternatives for Curtis Jones, with Crystal Palace's Adam Wharton being among the names linked. Transfer Talk has the latest.
Commissioner Cathy Engelbert said the league is being used as a "political football for people who have never watched the WNBA."
With one week left in the preseason, Raiders coach Klint Kubiak said he wasn't prepared to name a starting quarterback, adding "I don't want anyone to be comfortable in their job."
Kelsey Mitchell set the WNBA record with her 21st consecutive game with at least 20 points, tying her season high with 37 in the Fever's loss to the Wings.
The Mariners are calling up left-hander Kade Anderson, the No. 1 pitching prospect in baseball, to start against the Cubs on Saturday, sources told ESPN.
Diamondbacks second baseman Ketel Marte will be transferred to the 10-day injured list, GM Mike Hazen confirmed Thursday, three days after Marte failed to show up for a game in Boston.
An Alabama jury on Thursday awarded $9.25 million in damages after finding that The New York Times defamed an Alabama basketball player by incorrectly reporting that he was at the scene of a fatal shooting in Tuscaloosa.
Rangers pitcher Jacob deGrom became the second-fastest pitcher to reach 2,000 career strikeouts, reaching the milestone in just 1,660⅓ innings.
One of the Lakers' minority owners, Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong, has no plans to sell his 4% stake in the team, his attorney told ESPN.
Eric Karabell breaks his running backs into tiers, helping you identify where value drops off throughout the draft.
Here's what you need to know about what happened around the NFL on Thursday.
The Dolphins don't mess with 7-on-7 work in practice, which is fine for the linemen staying on the field under new coach Jeff Hafley.
Oklahoma's Brent Venables has agreed to a two-year contract extension through January 2032.
Ahead of the inaugural Freedom 250 race on Sunday, Alex Palou is on the brink of securing an NTT INDYCAR Series Championship.
Las Vegas Raiders No. 1 overall pick Fernando Mendoza's second preseason game was headlined by a pick-six, but signs of success were there.
The NTT IndyCar Series is heading to Washington, D.C., for the Freedom 250, a race organized to celebrate 250 years of the United States and the trophy is just as unique as the race itself.
Tempers flared several times throughout the joint practice between the Miami Dolphins and New York Giants.
The Seattle Mariners have called up top prospect LHP Kade Anderson to make his MLB debut on Saturday.
Brazilian soccer legend Ronaldinho has arrived in Ravenna after signing for the Italian third-division club, more than a decade after retiring.
Kalshi Promo Code FOXSPORTS: Get up to $25 in Bonuses Ready for Your Favorite NFL Preseason Matchup.
Tech
RayNeo's latest AR smart glasses are going for very different audiences: The very discrete, and the very nerdy.
The UK government is facing calls to cancel a sprawling health care contract with Palantir. The region of Greater Manchester insists it can do a better job itself.
Genesis' new electric SUV is loaded with innovation, but not in the dash or drivetrain as you might expect.
Save an extra 10% or 30% with Canon coupon codes, plus up to $1,600 on cameras, printers, and more this August.
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Enjoy top deals on cameras, computers, and tech essentials at B&H Photo.
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Whether you’re shopping for a ThinkPad, Yoga laptop, or Legion gaming PC, these Lenovo discount codes and promotions can help you save big on your next tech upgrade.
Save up to 50% today with the latest Home Depot promo codes for appliances, power tools, and more this August.
Upgrade your frames with major savings on classic shapes, custom designs, and prescription lenses using these verified Ray-Ban discounts.
Unlock free expedited shipping or 10% off with today’s Hoka discount codes, plus save up to 30% with the best discounts for August 2026.
Keep your floors pristine and your budget intact. Save up to 30% off machine-washable rugs, runners, mats, and pillows using Ruggable coupons plus our expert advice.
The casting swap follows Ryan Hurst's injury on set earlier this year.
The new traffic peak caused "capacity failures" that led to the developer platform's recent outage.
The Cloud Alpha Air is reasonably priced at $150 and sports super comfy earpads.
The upcoming feature expands its Transparency Tags for marking slop songs.
The fighting game will still receive content updates through October 2026.
A teen who died by suicide was reportedly part of the test.
It's called Pocket and is described as a "platform for making and sharing gizmos."
The two-hour stream will feature Final Fantasy 7 Revelation, Gears of War: E-Day and The Witcher 3: Songs of the Past.
Entertainment
TMZ may collect a share of sales or other compensation from links on this page. There's no shame in trying to cop Millie Bobby Brown's skincare game … after all, that face card doesn't decline. So if you're trying to get gorgeous, glowy skin like…
Calling all you mighty Millennials, ballin' Boomers, groovy Gen X-ers, and everyone else ... We're tappin' y'all into Gen Z's hottest stories of the week, packed with sexy stars and piping-hot news! Tap-In to the gallery ... we're spillin' it…
Hayden Panettiere would have turned 37 today ... but sadly the celebration will be more of a remembrance. As TMZ previously reported ... the "Nashville" star had big travel plans to be with her daughter in Germany today ... as part of a trip she…
Donald Trump's frenemy and former fixer has been doing quite a bit of sucking up, especially now that he needs a presidential pardon. In a new clip from his interview with Trump, Michael Cohen was acting all buddy-buddy with the prez, saying ...…
Here's a closer look at the South Carolina apartment complex where Hayden Panettiere was pronounced dead ... from the grounds outside to the hallways within. Footage shows the exterior of Judson Mill Lofts ... with perfectly manicured lawns,…
John Paris has got a ways to go on his road to recovery ... involving 2 major surgeries, according to a new update on his condition. In a new post, the Standing for John Paris Facebook page shared that the Earth, Wind & Fire drummer woke up…
Mama June's daughter Pumpkin says OnlyFans is paying off in a major way ... revealing she recently had her biggest day yet on the platform, pulling in as much as $15K. Pumpkin joined TMZ's Towanda Robinson on the "TMZ Podcast" and told us she…
Nick Cannon will be taking "Wild N' Out" and its hilarious jokes on the road full-time... because we've learned they're leaving their traditional format behind to focus on the live tour. Rip Micheals -- one of the executive producers of…
Diane Warren is giving West Hollywood's most famous runaway pig a new lease on life ... telling us Wilbur is officially safe and headed to a sanctuary after his wild sprint through the streets. We got Diane Thursday at her office in Hollywood, and…
Sarah Jane Nader's pirouetting into the new season of "Dancing with the Stars" just like Brooks did a couple of years ago ... but there's one big difference ... sources tell us Sarah is paired up with a female pro. The brunette bombshell was…
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