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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Two U.S. Navy aviators ejected while landing on USS Dwight D. Eisenhower off the coast of Virginia, and four sailors aboard were also injured in the mishap.
Penta wore "Pac" on his boot during "Monday Night Raw" as WWE and the wrestling world mourned Benjamin Satterley's sudden death at age 40.
Archaeologists at Mieza in ancient Macedonia uncovered lecture rooms and mosaic floors within Royal Gymnasium complex long tied to Aristotle and Alexander the Great.
WWE "Monday Night Raw" ended in chaos as Jaida Parker plowed a Maserati into Jacob Fatu, seemingly aligning herself with the 946 faction group.
Secretary of State Marco Rubio confirmed a "foreign actor" was behind the thwarted terror plot near RAF Fairford, warning of repercussions tied to Iran.
Get all the stories you need-to-know from the most powerful name in news delivered first thing every morning to your inbox.
Trump's red-carpet welcome for Xi Jinping yielded fentanyl and tariff progress, but critical minerals, cyber threats and Taiwan remain unresolved.
A fitness coach reveals four key strategies to slow age-related muscle loss, from daily protein intake to strength training and sleep habits.
Rutgers University's women's rugby club rebranded to "Womxn's Rugby" as Linda McMahon enforces Title IX protections based on biological sex.
Cheryl Reeve earned a historic fifth WNBA Coach of the Year honor while her comments on "transgender people" in sports fueled growing controversy.
Satire
BUENOS AIRES—After exhausting a significant amount of his intellectual energy in a series of company launches, a creatively tapped-out Peter Thiel announced Tuesday a new startup called “Frodo, But Evil.” Everyone knows Frodo’s the hero of Lord Of The Rings, but he’s not in this case, wh
An archaeological dig at the purported site of Noah's Ark has gotten people really excited. And it appears that it might be legit, because the team behind Noah's Ark Scans has already made some incredible finds.
ANAHEIM, CA — To commemorate the team's record-setting 100-loss season, the Los Angeles Angels changed the "Big A" outside their stadium to a "Big L."
We are blessed to live in a world where movie stars, musicians, and celebrities of all stripes care so deeply about the oppressed people of the Middle East. There is such power in hearing these voices boldly call out injustice, wherever it may be.
U.S. — Toy giant Mattel unveiled its first-ever "Hanukkah Barbie" this week, confirming today that each doll will come complete with its own Jewish Space Laser.
LOS ANGELES—With her three wins last night finally putting her ahead of her greatest pop star rival, Taylor Swift surpassed Geppetto the Incredible Waltzing Horse on Sunday as the most-decorated artist in the history of MTV’s Video Music Awards. “This is truly an incredible achievement for Sw
TUCSON, AZ — Local man Steve Kenner was outraged at his yoga class this week, condemning the "provocative" clothing worn by the woman he was staring at.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Iran War will soon be over, said President Donald Trump, as he announced a plan to gift Iran with a giant wooden horse.
Tech companies have begun offering personal AI agents, which can access users’ accounts and perform tasks on their behalf. The Onion examines the pros and cons of these autonomous digital assistants. PRO Fun to torment a digital slave Never liked taste of water in first place More time to spend wi
GLOUCESTERSHIRE — CNN reported an ugly example of racial profiling coming out of the UK last weekend, as a British farmer called the police on a group of Muslim men who were out for a Sunday drive.
The post What’s Rustling In That Leaf Pile? appeared first on The Onion.
ROCKFORD, IL—Toilet paper rolls hanging limply at their sides as they stood astonished in front of the home, local teens observed this weekend that their math teacher’s duplex was too depressing to TP, a discovery that derailed their night’s plans. “Oh God, this is where Mr. R lives? Guys, t
DES ALLEMANDS, LA—Holding hands and giggling as they talked the part-time fast food worker through their sandwich order, singer-songwriter Lana Del Rey and swamp tour boat captain Jeremy Dufrene reportedly celebrated their wedding anniversary Saturday at a gas station Subway restaurant. “Lana sw
WASHINGTON—Despite carefully checking and double-checking the credentials of the man who reached out to him via email, FBI director Kash Patel was reportedly phished Friday by a scammer posing as FBI director Kash Patel. “First of all, he’s got my face as his profile picture, so that right
A cybercriminal collective known as ShinyHunters claims to have breached the FBI’s online job portal and stolen more than 2 terabytes of employee personnel records. What do you think?
The post FBI Hack Exposes Thousands Of Employee Records appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK—Stressing that the sport’s existing suite of advanced metrics was no longer sufficient to satisfy their hunger for increasingly granular data, baseball analysts from across the country called Wednesday for the creation of a new statistic called B.L.E.P.H. “We don’t care what it mea
From breakout stars to aging veterans, these are the players most likely to define the 2026 NFL season. Aidan Hutchinson, Lions defensive end: After signing a four-year extension worth $180 million last season, Hutchinson should finally be able to afford enough eye black for both sides of his face
Sports
Here's why your team could be playing late into October ... or get sent home early.
Who will be the last one standing in October? Our MLB experts predict which team will win each series of the postseason.
In his first NFL start in 1,009 days, Chicago third-string quarterback Case Keenum, 38, led the Bears to a dominant 27-7 victory over the perennial NFC heavyweight Philadelphia Eagles on Monday, a performance coach Ben Johnson labeled "extraordinary."
After a 27-7 loss to Chicago on Monday, Eagles coach Nick Sirianni expressed "remorse" over his reaction to a sideline hit by Bears linebacker D'Marco Jackson on Philadelphia's Jalen Hurts that temporarily knocked his quarterback out of the first half.
The Giants are trading for Vikings quarterback J.J. McCarthy, sending a 2027 fifth-round draft pick to Minnesota for the 2024 first-round pick.
Bronny James said he hasn't spoken much to his father, LeBron, about the decision to leave the Lakers this summer, but said he's excited to face him on Christmas.
Chargers coach Jim Harbaugh offered a rare public critique of Justin Herbert on Monday, imploring the quarterback to "be better."
United States manager, Mauricio Pochettino said Monday that it was "very difficult" to know what punishment Manchester City should receive for breaking the Premier League's financial fair play rules -- and severely damaging the competition.
As the Senate passes the landmark bill, we sort the truths about the Protect College Sports Act from the myths.
The Protect College Sports Act, a federal bill aimed at reshaping the industry, took a step toward to becoming law Monday when the U.S. Senate voted 77-22 to pass it, with Ted Cruz saying, "This bill puts an end to the chaos plaguing college athletics."
Ex-Tottenham manager Mauricio Pochettino expressed sadness at the lack of "sporting justice" that the reported verdict against Manchester City could bring.
The Rams have company atop the Super Bowl oddsboard, while a blowout loss sent the Eagles tumbling. See the latest odds after Week 3.
Should we be buying stock in the Vikings? Are the Rams still a top-10 team? We examine in this week's power rankings.
Who will repeat? Will K.C. and Baltimore return to the top? Check out the latest NFL division odds after Week 3.
Our weekly roundup of the league's best players features San Francisco's quarterback, who is central in its 3-0 start.
With Caleb Williams out, Case Keenum delivered, and then some, in the Bears' win over the Eagles.
The Falcons and Raiders look like contenders, the Packers and Patriots like pretenders. Here's our Best and Worst from a bizarro Week 3.
Justin Herbert's interception and Lamar Jackson's heroics highlight the plays that mattered most from NFL Week 3.
MLB on FOX analyst A.J. Pierzynski dishes out on the postseason, the White Sox and Cubs, and giving Pope Leo a unique souvenir.
Geoff Schwartz breaks down his 10 stars from Week 4 of the college football season.
Tech
A Wi-Fi repeater seems like an easy fix to wireless network problems in your house, but it's rarely the best option.
Google's Pixel 8 phone has been around for a few years, so there are plenty of used and refurbished units available.
I guess "reasonably-sized gathering speaker" doesn't have the same ring.
From a $100 Keurig to a rare discount on a De’Longhi espresso machine, these WIRED-tested picks caught my eye.
Consumer advocate Lindsay Owen’s new book, Gouged, traces how corporations use software—from ever-changing prices to opaque algorithms—to squeeze every penny from you.
These WIRED-tested wearables reduce your reliance on a phone while keeping you connected.
The company said its latest Astra model would undergo more work to meet safety standards, and issued an apology for the way it handled the hacking of an Australian government website.
One of AI’s fiercest critics believes the doom talk is about founders making money, not saving humanity.
Nothing's new 'pro' headphones feature a flat EQ, bucking the trend of custom equalizers.
Kurt Schlichter was part of a task force rooting out so-called woke ideologies at the military’s war colleges. He has called to bar childless adults from voting.
Beats’ new flagship headphones are customizable, stylish, fun, and great for working out. But there are stronger options for everyday use.
Despite a $2 trillion valuation ahead of its IPO, Anthropic hasn't been a money-spinning operation so far.
Scientists have found a new form of pollution, one where plastic and pieces of coral become irreversibly intertwined.
The agent can now connect to ad accounts and analytics for Instagram and Facebook.
From smart apps and planters to unique tools, these gifts will turn even a black thumb into a next-level plant parent.
According to The New York Times, OpenAI scrapped GPT-6.1 Astra's release because it didn't meet safety standards.
It's limited to Opera users in certain countries, however.
Upgrade your home office with the best Uplift Desk discount codes. Save on standing desks, ergonomic chairs, and accessories.
Your Mac's Shortcuts app is a powerful way to automate tedious tasks, and you can now set up scripts using natural language.
Your iPhone's battery doesn't have infinite longevity. Over time, it degrades, and you'll know that's happening when you see these signs.
Entertainment
Lindsay Clancy's murder case is heading back to court ... and TMZ is streaming live. Clancy's defense and the prosecution will go before Judge William Sullivan, and prosecutors could finally reveal whether they plan to retry Clancy after her first…
Eric Idle has no sympathy for Nick Reiner as he fights to access family money for his murder trial defense ... and the reason is deeply personal. We got the "Monty Python" legend out in NYC Monday and asked how he felt about Nick trying to use some…
Did someone say, "Vacay" ... more like "Bae-Cay!" Can you guess which influencer put her hot bod on full display in these eye-popping pics?! She's one of TikTok's early breakout stars -- rising to fame in 2019 for "Clown Girl' makeup looks. Hit the…
Julie Gonzalo was in her early 20s when she played Shelby Cummings -- the hot popular mean girl -- in the rom-com classic "A Cinderella Story" back in 2004. Julie hit the big screen with Hilary Duff, Chad Michael Murray and Jennifer Coolidge. Guess…
The lone holdout juror in the Lindsay Clancy murder trial is breaking his silence on camera following the dramatic mistrial ... and he's asking the public for one wish, to shift its attention away from him and back on the 3 young lives lost.…
Dennis Haskins, best known for playing Principal Richard Belding on "Saved by the Bell," has died ... TMZ has confirmed. His agent Jay Schachter tells TMZ ... "It's a tragic loss. Everyone loved Mr. Belding and those of us who got to know Dennis,…
Renée Zellweger can breathe a little easier … she's been dismissed from a lawsuit brought by a house guest who claims she was injured at her boyfriend's rental home ... TMZ has learned. According to court docs, obtained by TMZ, Tracey Belland…
Nevaeh Akira's baby daddy went to court seeking joint legal and physical custody of their kid ... but Blueface isn't the one filing the petition. Robert Louis Lee -- otherwise known as DJ LetThemKnow -- filed the petition last month, asking a judge…
Diego Sarabia, one of the Cornell students accused of sexual assault, is suddenly out of a job at Wells Fargo as prosecutors reopen their investigation of the alleged 2024 incident ... TMZ has learned. Sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ ...…
Cindy Crawford, Rande Gerber, and Kaia Gerber are leaning toward a private gathering for Presley Gerber instead of a public memorial or funeral ... TMZ has learned. Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ ... the family had been considering…