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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Alisa Goods was found dead in a Las Vegas drainage ditch near Harry Reid International Airport after surveillance showed her collapsing on Aug. 8.
A kitten named Jersey survived a hundreds-mile trip wedged inside a car from New Jersey to the University of Georgia campus before mechanics finally freed him.
President Donald Trump will award the Congressional Space Medal of Honor to the Artemis II crew at NASA's Johnson Space Center in Houston on Aug. 28.
Trump fired back at a protester who interrupted his South Carolina rally, quipping that the heckler's mom is voting for him while showing support for Sen. Darline Graham.
Florida Senate candidate Angie Nixon rejected key Democratic Socialists of America positions on abolishing the Senate and defunding the military on "Meet the Press NOW."
Klay Thompson is expected to join Giannis Antetokounmpo and Bam Adebayo in Miami after clearing waivers following his Mavericks contract buyout.
Fox News Digital reviews Lionsgate's action film "Mutiny" starring Jason Statham, Annabelle Wallis and Roland Møller. Directed by Jean-François Richet.
The president of the Log Cabin Republicans announced the gay conservative group will no longer advocate for transgender, removing the "T" from their LGBT mission.
Rashod Bateman in June allegedly smashed his ex-girlfriend's car windows and windshield, leading to three domestic violence charges.
Anthony Fauci's legal defense fund launches as Rand Paul pushes the Department of Justice to prosecute him over his Fifth Amendment invocations.
Satire
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Authorities responded on Friday afternoon to an apparent turf war at Kenwood Park, where tennis players and pickleballers fought to the death over the right to use the park's facilities.
There are a lot of religions out there, but only one can be the religion of peace. How can you be sure you're on the right path?
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though the U.S. national debt officially surpassed $40 trillion this week, Congress was quick to assure Americans that the issue could be easily fixed by spending more money.
LONDON — The Duchess of Sussex was welcomed back to England with open arms and a legally mandated burqa on Friday, according to sources.
PERSIAN GULF — Clutching their pens and calculators tightly, thousands of accountants boarded Higgins boats this morning in preparation for the launch of "Economic D-Day" against Iran.
Whether shorts are office-appropriate attire has ignited an online debate. The Onion examines the pros and cons of wearing shorts in the office. PRO New scapegoat for bad quarter Good to have full range of movement while sitting stationary for eight hours A well-aired cog is a productive cog Ready t
LONDON—Acknowledging that the sea mammals were far from being “awe-inspiring, beautiful creatures or a splendor of nature,” an embarrassed David Attenborough finally admitted this week to exaggerating the wonder of seals. “While I did several monologues in voiceover claiming that sea lions h
WASHINGTON—Dismissing public concern about the president’s health as baseless speculation, Capt. Sean Barbabella, the director of the White House Medical Unit, announced at a press conference Friday that Donald Trump has always been a face drawn onto a cantaloupe. “If you go back and look at h
RENO, NV—Wincing as he sang in a baritone voice with a slight British accent, local woman Mary Lowe reportedly felt immense pity at a karaoke outing Thursday after she imagined her friend Matthew Brown working on his Morrissey impression alone at home. “Oh no, I can picture him practicing it all
After a megayacht owned by Mark Zuckerberg failed to respond to a distress signal from a skiff that had run out of fuel, a spokesperson for the centibillionaire claimed his crew did not hear the call for help. What do you think?
The post Mark Zuckerberg’s Yacht Fails To Respond To Maritime Distres
The post Every Commercial On ESPN Past Midnight Just Straight-Up Telling Viewers They Have Prostate Cancer appeared first on The Onion.
APPLETON, WI—Wide-eyed and unusually still as he took in the unfamiliar sight before him, local 9-year-old Connor Walsh reportedly got a nice long look at the small of his father’s back Thursday while the 44-year-old bent down to retrieve a ping-pong ball that had rolled beneath a basement shelv
School is back in session for millions of students across the country. The Onion shares tips for ensuring your child has a safe commute. Attend a different school each day to throw would-be kidnappers off your trail. Determine if your bus driver needs uppers, downers, or both. If cycling to school
ICE announced plans to spend up to $20 million on gloves that deliver electric shocks to people who do not cooperate. What do you think?
The post ICE To Equip Officers With Electric Shock Gloves appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
Julien Laurens makes his predictions for the opening weekend of Premier League action and beyond, including Liverpool's stiff test vs. Newcastle.
The new season has arrived! Which teams will win silverware? Who wins Golden Boot? ESPN's writers predict it all for Europe's top men's leagues.
Week 2 of the NFL preseason is underway, and our NFL Nation reporters are tackling the biggest looming roster questions coming off each game.
Klay Thompson plans to sign a two-year, nearly $13 million deal with the Heat after clearing waivers following his contract buyout from the Mavericks, sources told ESPN's Shams Charania.
The Ravens have informed the NFL of wide receiver Rashod Bateman's arrest in June on family violence charges, and the league said the case is under review.
Six-time NBA All-Star DeMar DeRozan has agreed to sign with the Denver Nuggets on a one-year, $3.9 million deal, sources told ESPN on Friday.
Notre Dame won't be adding players from the 2022 recruiting class who could be eligible to play this fall because of recent legal decisions including Junior Tuihalamaka, who has committed to LSU.
Inter Miami's Lionel Messi and Ian Fray have been fined undisclosed amounts for making contact in the head and neck area of opponents in separate incidents during second-half stoppage time in a 2-2 draw against Philadelphia, MLS said Friday.
We're looking back at the offseason and taking an early look at the regular season by rolling out one team profile each weekday through Sept. 18.
Los Angeles Dodgers president Stan Kasten addressed online speculation about the team's future under owner Mark Walter.
Here's everything you need to know around the NFL on Friday.
Nick Chubb retired from the NFL after eight seasons, he announced via instagram.
Can You Bet on the TikTok Live Fight Between Amanda Serrano and Lucrecia Anabella Manzur?
The Diamondbacks are still trying to figure out how to move forward after one of their best players essentially ghosted teammates and management during a crucial moment in the season.
Here's what stood out from the Seahawks-Titans joint practice on Friday ahead of the teams' Sunday night matchup on FOX.
Ryan McMahon was placed on the 10-day injured list with a Grade 2 left thumb sprain on and the New York Yankees third baseman said he will miss the minimum amount of time.
Inter Miami's Lionel Messi and Ian Fray have been fined undisclosed amounts for making contact in the head and neck area of opponents in separate incidents against Philadelphia.
Paul Skenes isn't the only big-name MLB star slumping right before the postseason.
The Houston Texans brought in reinforcements at wide receiver after Jayden Higgins' season-ending injury.
Olympique de Marseille has a new captain, and he's someone who United States men's national team fans should be very familiar with.
Tech
Apple has laid off employees in its Vision Pro and Siri teams as it shifts focus to smart glasses and next-gen AI tech.
Cheap energy, abundant land, and proximity to Beijing have turned a city in Inner Mongolia into a crucial hub for data centers.
A Chinese agency says the two recalls affecting some 3 million vehicles can mostly be fixed by over-the-air updates—but they will also require physical warning stickers and camera-related updates.
The DoJ said the app has made significant strides in privacy protections since the 2024 suit.
The company is searching for leakers ahead of GTA's November release.
LinkedIn says its AI slop button is working.
Season two of Netflix's Cyberpunk 2077 anime streams October 20
Tokyo's Sushi Bus combines conveyor belt dining with open-air sightseeing.
Tesla and others recall over 4 million vehicles in China over door handles.
Each earbud takes its own image, which is then synchronized for use by Visual Intelligence.
Sam's Club will soon let you pay with your phone or smartwatch too.
A satellite dish left by previous owners may yet have something to offer today. Here's what it can and can't do.
Meta is in court again over child safety, and this time it’s a landmark case that could force significant changes to core features of Facebook and Instagram.
Pack up your pool cleaning supplies. Let one of these robot buddies maintain your water quality instead
The Nyrius Phoenix Home True 4K60 can wirelessly transmit games, TV shows, movies, and more across your home (even through walls).
Lindsay Clancy’s defense argues she killed her three kids because of postpartum psychosis. But armchair detectives, including many fed-up mothers, are laying blame with her ex-husband.
After two years of testing, these are the electric toothbrushes that impressed WIRED staffers the most.
As the appetite for “authenticity” grows online, content creators are buying up empty boxes for luxury goods—and resellers are cashing in for “crazy prices.”
“People have talked about the Colorado River crisis for decades—we’re now in it,” says one expert. “Everyone you talk to is like, ‘Shit, man.’”
From the best Dyson vacuum to the best wireless headphones and earbuds we’ve tested, you can get some great gadgets on sale already ahead of Labor Day.
Entertainment
"The Challenge" star Tyler Duckworth was tragically found "up against the door" of his bathroom when he died. A case report from the Grand Forks Police Department -- obtained by Page Six -- said that's how the 44-year-old's body was found in his…
The case of a New York City grandma who's been missing for two weeks in Las Vegas took a sad turn Thursday ... and TMZ is learning more about what happened to the 63-year-old. Alisa Goods was visiting a friend in Sin City, and she left…
Gleb Savchenko's ex-wife has learned that their daughter has been living in a home he shares with his OnlyFans girlfriend ... and she's pissed. Elena Samodanova told Us Weekly she's worried about their daughter Olivia's living situation, saying ...…
"90 Day Fiancé" star Thais Ramone is firing back at estranged husband Patrick Mendes' recent court claims ... with her lawyer saying a motion containing inaccurate allegations about alleged marital misconduct is now being pulled. Thais' attorney,…
A Newport Beach police officer wasn't going to waste any time when he saw a group of dogs baking in a car ... and he quickly busted out a window to save the pooches. Check out the footage ... as you can see from the cop's body cam from May 18,…
Mama June's daughter Pumpkin says her X-rated online presence cost her daughter a spot at a private elementary school ... telling TMZ the school pulled the kid's acceptance after discovering her social media posts. Pumpkin tells TMZ ... she first…
American actor and musician Reid Ewing was 20 years old when he first started playing Dylan -- Haley's on-and-off boyfriend who isn't the sharpest tool in the shed -- on the hit show "Modern Family" back in 2009. Ewing was part of an ensemble cast…
Taylor Sheridan, Paramount, and NBCUniversal are all being sued by a woman who claims she came up with the building blocks for "Yellowstone" ... and she says they stole her idea. Lauren J. Salkin -- an entertainment journalist and TV writer --…
Brian Hickerson got called on the carpet in an L.A. courtroom for being "quite high" during a recent TMZ interview, and that was enough for the judge to deny his attempt to clear his record. Hickerson had filed a motion to expunge his 2020 domestic…
Clavicular has a hunch "looksmaxing can help prevent being murdered" ... but it sounds like further study is needed. The popular streamer was musing about homicide victims on X on Friday, lamenting the fact "there's no dataset where researchers…
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