US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow • Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson • Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Resurfaced video from O.J. Simpson's prank show "Juiced" captures him joking about a "bloody Bronco" and boasting about its "great escapability."
Homeland Security Secretary Markwayne Mullin says DHS is changing its seal so the eagle faces arrows of war amid terrorism and cartel threats.
Malone Lam allegedly used a social engineering attack to steal over 4,100 Bitcoin, then blew millions on Lamborghinis, nightclubs and mansions.
"Lioness" season 3 episode 6 features a shocking Iranian extraction twist and an epic Delta Force airport shootout that left fans buzzing online.
Charlie Kirk's closest colleagues reveal how the TPUSA founder mentored Gen Z conservatives individually, shaping media voices and activist careers.
Hunter Mahan reveals his wife sparked him to post golf content after years away, and now a PGA Tour Champions bid could be next when he turns 50.
Detroit Pastor Lorenzo Sewell says progressive Senate candidates James Talarico, Angie Nixon and Abdul El-Sayed are using Jesus to win over voters.
Florida Gators fans were thrilled as the iconic "Gator Bait" chant returned to the stands on Saturday after being shelved since the summer of 2020.
An illegal immigrant fled ICE agents and crashed into a Democratic mayor's wife on a New Jersey highway, reigniting the sanctuary state debate.
Labor Day Monday Screencaps dives into Michigan's wild Hail Mary win and the Big Ten game clock controversy that has college football fans furious.

Satire
ATLANTA—Hailing its success as a major victory for the public health and safety of all Americans, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced Monday that it had successfully eradicated children. The agency confirmed that children had been the leading vector of disease nationally, posi
Finally landed the career of your dreams? Well, this dated, leaky 2-bedroom home is still all you’ll ever be able to afford because that’s just how things are now. Settle in and get used to it. Reference #830436 The post What Middle Class Looks Like Now appeared first on The Onion.
DANBURY, CT—Marveling aloud that he had rarely been so sure of an athlete’s unbridled potential, Huntington High School head football coach Michael McNeese said Monday he just had a good feeling about a new player that other kids on the team were referring to simply as “Thunder Beef.” McNees
ANN ARBOR — In one of the most remarkable technological breakthroughs of the past millennium, scientists at the University of Michigan have successfully traveled backwards in time by one second.
ANN ARBOR, MI — A highly controversial ending at Michigan Stadium has unfortunately put a slight black eye on the NCAA's otherwise sterling reputation.
EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Sending the publisher scrambling to protect trade secrets related to the hotly anticipated project, leaks from Rockstar Games worsened Friday as hackers released a fully playable copy of Grand Theft Auto IX. “It’s heartbreaking having assets leak out for any of our projects
Influencer Alix Earle is the star of Netflix’s newest reality show, Earle Meets World. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the series. Q: Who is Alix Earle? A: Alix is a Gen Z content creator known for eating expired military rations. Q: I thought her name was Alex Cooper. A: Ask yo
THE HEAVENS—Scratching His head and rifling through His notes as He tried to recall His reasoning for the decision, The Lord God, Supreme Creator of the Universe, reportedly struggled to remember on Friday why He made so many ugly people. “I could have given everyone on Earth perfect, symmetrica
The CEO of Pabst Brewing Co. put up a $20,000 reward to anyone who could provide information that leads to the recovery of 1,602 missing cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon and non-alcoholic Old Milwaukee beers. What do you think? The post PBR Offers $20,000 Reward For Lost Beer appeared first on The Onion.
The post Home Heeled Advantage appeared first on The Onion.
Legacy mapping tool MapQuest shot up to become the top navigation app in Apple’s app store after refusing to comply with President Trump’s executive order renaming “Lake Ontario” to “Lake America,” overtaking Google Maps, Waze, and Apple Maps. What do you think? The post MapQuest Jumps T
The post Gloria Steinem, Researcher Who Discovered Existence Of Women, Dead At 92 appeared first on The Onion.

Sports
From favorites to underdogs, popular bets to surprising plays and everything in between, this is what the 2026 NFL season looks like from a betting lens.
What lines offered immediate value once odds came out? Here are five early bets and a futures wager to track.
We assess how the committee could stack the top teams in the country with most of Week 1 complete.
We've seen a week's worth of games, so it's time to jump to a bunch of premature conclusions.
Ronald Acuna Jr. gave the irate Phillies fans a curtain call after hitting a tying three-run homer, and the Braves used a late rally to defeat Philadelphia 5-4 on Sunday, extending their lead in the NL East to five games.
CJ Carr threw two touchdown passes, Aneyas Williams ran for 90 yards and two more scores, and No. 4 Notre Dame pulled away in the second half to beat Wisconsin 41-13 on Sunday night at Lambeau Field.
Having been here since early Friday morning, Kyle Shanahan's concerns about taking part in the NFL's first regular-season game in Australia have dissipated.
Western Michigan president Russ Kavalhuna told ESPN that he didn't think the Big Ten's replay process that put a second back on the clock, leading to Michigan's winning touchdown pass over the Broncos, "is as good as it could be."
Team USA survived its toughest test in the women's basketball World Cup in two decades with a 55-52 victory over Italy on Sunday in Berlin, pushing its winning streak in World Cup play to 32 games.
Tua Tagovailoa will be the starting quarterback for the Falcons against the Steelers in Week 1.
"The Bear" drops his latest Top 10 rankings ahead of Week 2 in college football. Who does he have at No. 1?
Darlington was "better than a dream come true" for Christopher Bell as he got into Victory Lane for the first time in 2026 and at the most perfect time.
College football Week 1 has come and gone. Check out the updated national championship odds, with some major shifts taking place.
It's a new NFL season, but the list of Super Bowl contenders might be very similar to last year's.
Get ready for Week 1 with a deep dive into the Super Bowl rematch, the 49ers' massive test, Jayden Daniels' bounce-back chances and more.
FOX Sports' RJ Young shares his latest college football rankings after a long Week 1.
That Michigan Hail Mary didn't just doom Western Michigan fans. It was a nightmare for sportsbooks, too.
Women's volleyball on FOX made history this weekend, with the Big Ten/SEC Volleyball Challenge bringing the sport to Wrigley Field for the first time.
Matthew Stafford is the leader of a superteam in the Los Angeles Rams, but will that mean a second MVP award for the aging QB?
Here is what to know on the injury front ahead of Week 1 of the NFL season.

Tech
The GameCube and PS2 both have mature emulation ecosystems. If you're new to the scene, here's the one that's easier to emulate and why.
Millions rely on Android Auto every day for navigation, music and messaging, but one of the common issues is apps vanishing from the platform without warning.
Apple's Visual Intelligence will make splitting the check easier in iOS 27.
The Google Store has some of the best trade-in values for a new Pixel, whether you're turning in a Pixel, iPhone, or Galaxy device.
Labor Day already? Say it ain’t so. Today is the last day to shop the best deals on WIRED-tested outdoor gear from REI, Nemo, MSR, Coleman, and more during REI’s Labor Day sale.
You'll want a paid plan if you plan to do much with Grok.
Siri's voice will be more expressive and customizable in iOS 27, but only if you have the latest hardware.
macOS and Windows both have their own advantages. If you're planning to move to Windows, make sure you know what you're giving up.
Dark energy might be getting weaker. Scientists are wondering if interactions with dark matter in a “dark dimension” may be responsible.
This unexpected bug could have caused problems for travelers, which is why you shouldn't use a beta version of iOS on a device you rely on.
The intricate, 5.6 trillion-pixel map covers approximately 75 percent of the sky and includes about 4 billion celestial objects.
It’s called the Edge Panel. Here’s how to make the most of it.
Forget email surveys or long calls spent on hold. Voicebox lets people send customer feedback by recording a voice note on their phone.
Apple’s annual hardware launch event may feel different as the company welcomes a new CEO alongside a folding iPhone.
I’ve tested every single Kindle. Here’s how Amazon’s ebook readers stack up.
It’s one of the best times of the year to buy a mattress, and our top tested picks are on sale.
The science curriculum the industry is offering to schools casts plastics as safe, recyclable, and a source of good jobs. Critics say it’s propaganda.
Walmart provides lower-cost refurbished phones than buying from Apple directly, but you also have to navigate through more sellers and terms.
Many recent vehicles had CarPlay and Android Auto built in, but if yours doesn't, you can add a portable one to your dash.
The wrong bag can aggravate you every single day. These WIRED-tested picks get comfort, capacity, and organization just right.

Entertainment
Ohio gubernatorial candidate Amy Acton was the target of a frightening confrontation Sunday when an armed man allegedly forced his way through a crowd toward her at the Canfield Fair. Acton was speaking at a Mahoning County Democratic Party tent…
Erik and Lyle Menendez are getting another shot at freedom sooner than expected ... the California Board of Parole has granted the brothers an early parole suitability hearing, tentatively scheduled for March 2027. The brothers were previously…
Cardi B brought some serious star power and a head-turning outfit to Don Toliver's Brooklyn show Sunday night. The rapper made a surprise appearance at Barclays Center during Toliver's tour finale, joining him onstage for performances of “AH…
A fireworks explosion at a religious festival in Mexico has left at least 10 people dead and 64 injured ... and shocking images show the terrifying moments after the celebration erupted into chaos. The fatal blast happened Saturday night in Santa…
Matt Suhey, the fullback who helped power the legendary 1985 Chicago Bears to a Super Bowl championship, has died. The Bears star died over Labor Day weekend, bringing an end to the life of one of the most beloved members of Chicago's iconic…
Nathan Fielder’s bizarre Elizabeth Holmes documentary is finally out in the open ... and the first teaser has the internet completely spiraling. The film, titled “You Can See Everything,” received a surprise screening at the Telluride Film…
Rob Reiner is still getting honored by Hollywood ... winning a posthumous Emmy for his role in “The Bear” months after he and his wife were found dead. The late actor took home Outstanding Guest Actor in a Comedy Series at the 2026 Creative…
Firefighters sprang into action, trying to pull survivors from a charred cockpit after Sunday's deadly Amazon cargo plane disaster in Miami ... and new video shows the dramatic rescue attempt. In the video ... you can see several firefighters…
Let’s be honest, these expecting mamas are doing the heavy lifting, and they deserve to take a load off. Put those celeb skills to the test, and see if you can score this famous belly quest! Ready, set, go! Happy Labor Day y'all!
Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship boss David Feldman says Fenway Park was a grand slam ... and now he's going after another iconic baseball stadium! The founder and president of the bare-knuckle boxing promotion joined Babcock this week and raved…

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