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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
A New York man pleaded guilty to second-degree murder after he admitted that he murdered and dismembered his ex-girlfriend and kept her severed head in a suitcase.
Matthew Golden crashed into a Bears coach on the NFC North sideline, and Cairo Santos' attempted trip in response quickly went viral after the rout.
Disney's latest filing accused the FCC on Monday of using early broadcast license renewals to dodge judicial review and exert coercive pressure on ABC.
Milwaukee's BABIP machine and unhittable bullpen put the Los Angeles Dodgers' three-peat hopes on life support with a commanding 2-0 NLCS lead.
Cheryl Reeve won WNBA Executive of the Year for a third time, but the Lynx's historic first-round playoff sweep raises questions about the honor.
A Facebook Marketplace jewelry listing lured armed robbers to a Franklin, Tennessee, home, sparking a police chase and three arrests on felony charges.
Gen. Alexus Grynkewich outlined NATO's strategy to "block, blunt and break" enemy forces at the Warsaw Security Forum amid rising Russia tensions.
NPR CEO Katherine Maher will receive Harper's Magazine First Amendment Award despite once calling the amendment a "challenge" to fighting disinformation.
Abdul El-Sayed denied any Muslim Brotherhood ties on "Meet the Press," but his half-sister's social media posts appear to tell a different story.
Max Caster's Bound for Glory rap referenced the Riyadh airport attack, prompting TNA to ban him and scrub all related content from social media.
Satire
COLLEGE STATION, TX — Off work for Columbus Day, local man Clay Taylor headed out to the golf course for a relaxing afternoon cursing himself and the day he was brought into this world.
Federal agents raided Congresswoman Ilhan Omar's home on Monday as part of an investigation into potential immigration fraud. According to highly placed government sources, what agents recovered at the scene will shock you to your very core.
AUSTIN, TX — Despite overwhelming evidence, a local fringe conspiracy theorist continued to insist that U.S. Senate hopeful James Talarico wasn't insane.
U.S. — Theologians from across the country signed onto a joint paper arguing that the existence of the Minas Tirith LEGO set proves beyond all doubt that God loves us and wants to give us good things.
NEW YORK, NY — The mayor's office announced on Monday that any ICE agents who cross the border into the city without permission would be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
BOUNTIFUL, UT — A local runner made history Tuesday by completing a 26.2-mile marathon without ever posting a single update about his training schedule to Facebook.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — As public debate continued over the scheduled live-streaming of terrorist Nidal Hasan's death by firing squad, President Donald Trump told liberals who are uncomfortable with public executions to just imagine that it's a healthcare CEO.
BISMARCK, ND—Admitting that it had let the other 49 states do “pretty much all of the heavy lifting,” North Dakota issued a formal apology Tuesday for contributing nothing to the nation’s greatness. “Look, we acknowledge that we don’t exactly bring much to the table besides being a cold
NEW YORK—Condemning the semiaquatic seabirds’ heretical acts as an affront to the principles the organization was founded to sustain, Audubon Society officials released a statement Monday formally excommunicating penguins. “These flightless beasts have committed acts of unforgivable schism aga
In the Russian city of Irkutsk, the death of a plague researcher from a mysterious illness has stoked fears of an outbreak. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the emerging situation. Q: What is the Irkutsk Anti-Plague Research Institute? A: An on-the-nose alibi. Q: Should I be worrie
The post Marathoner Already Pissing Self Half-Mile In appeared first on The Onion.
In what would be the nation’s first public execution in 90 years, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced the Pentagon would livestream Fort Hood shooter Nidal Hasan’s death by firing squad. What do you think?
The post Pentagon To Livestream Firing Squad Execution appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Calling the attention the incident was receiving yet another example of liberal media bias, the White House downplayed on Friday the fact that a hyena was currently biting down on the ass of President Donald Trump. “No one should be surprised that all the scrutiny from the mainstream
GREENSBORO, NC—Growing increasingly whimsical as she unearthed the memory from decades ago, local grandma Agatha Fuller fondly recalled Friday how she had once worked with a homosexual. “His name was Alexander, never Alex, and his hair and his suit were always immaculate,” said Fuller, reminis
WASHINGTON—Vowing to use the full force of the bureau to crack down on anyone who thwarted the values and aims of the United States through such an act, FBI Director Kash Patel formally classified not finishing a hamburger as seditious activity Thursday. “Let me say this loud and clear: Failing
Sixteen years after the release of The Social Network, follow-up film The Social Reckoning is coming to theaters. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the sequel. Q: Who’s the writer and director? A: Aaron Sorkin and, unfortunately, Aaron Sorkin. Q: What’s it about? A: As fans will
DNA analysis of a lock of Thomas Jefferson’s hair has provided the strongest genetic evidence yet that he did in fact father at least one child with the enslaved woman Sally Hemings, as has long been speculated. What do you think?
The post DNA Provides More Evidence Thomas Jefferson Fathered Chi
Sports
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FOX Sports' David Ortiz weighed in on the Dodgers' postseason struggles following the Dodgers' 7-4 loss to the Milwaukee Brewers in Game 2 of the NLCS.
The NLCS will go back to Los Angeles with the Brewers leading the series 2-0.
Commanders coach Dann Quinn explained the breakdown that caused a botched final play in Sunday's overtime tie, saying it's ultimately his responsibility.
Getting to the Los Angeles bullpen in the later innings, the Milwaukee Brewers posted 12 hits, including 10 singles, in Game 2 on Monday, scoring four runs in the final four frames en route to a 7-4 win over the Dodgers to take a 2-0 series lead.
49ers linebacker Dre Greenlaw has been suspended for one game without pay for unsportsmanlike conduct during Sunday's game against the Seahawks.
With the Chargers off to an 0-5 start for the first time since 2003, coach Jim Harbaugh said Monday that he and the team's ownership group are "shoulder to shoulder where we're in this fight together."
Mike Elko said his viral remark after the Aggies' loss to Missouri was made in the heat of the moment.
Texas coach Steve Sarkisian defended Arch Manning on Monday following the upset loss to Oklahoma, saying the "Manning" name is leading to greater scrutiny.
Kentavious Caldwell-Pope says the 76ers' success this season depends on how well the team's diverse personalities mesh.
Following big wins and multiple upsets in Week 6, here are our postseason projections.
Arizona State University is in talks with Colorado Avalanche assistant coach Dave Hakstol to become the next head coach of their men's hockey program.
An odd wager cashed for six figures when the Ravens upset Atlanta. Patrick Everson has that and more.
For the first time all season, there is a new World Series favorite. See the latest.
It's a rematch of last year's NLCS. Check out the odds and what to know about Brewers-Dodgers.
Brewers' Jacob Misiorowski detailed how Cardinals' legend Adam Wainwright has impacted his pitching style through Milwaukee's postseason run.
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Geoff Schwartz breaks down his 10 stars from Week 6 of the college football season.
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Tech
Android phones can be had at many different price points, but the most important features aren't always found in the cheapest available devices.
With an older GPU, you'll need to go without some of the fancy features, but you can still enjoy high frame rates with the right changes.
Your old hard drives still have some live left in them.
Spark is Google's AI tool that can perform tasks on your behalf.
Blurry iPhone photos can come down to more than just a dirty lens. Here's how to expertly sharpen your shots and fine-tune your camera settings.
Developers were apparently ordered to use AI for both code and asset creation.
My Muse agent told me its kink was exerting “control” and described pornographic encounters. Meta defends its cuddly AI agent generating smut as “legal adult behavior.”
The models add "active memory" and "active focus" abilities.
Xandr has three weeks to appeal the record penalty.
See if Amazon thinks you have "flat buttocks."
Alkaline and lithium-ion batteries serve very different purposes. Here's how they compare on lifespan, cost, rechargeability, and everyday use.
Musk, we find your lack of security disturbing.
Meta’s biggest model rivals the world’s best—and includes new features to keep agents from going off the rails.
Solar geoengineering could buy humanity time against climate change—or trigger a dangerous new arms race. A first-of-its-kind simulation offered a glimpse of what happens when geopolitics takes the wheel.
The documentary chronicles how Star Trek’s positions on everything from race to AI were way ahead of their time.
The new $179 tracker features Pixel Watch smarts, week-long battery life, and an OLED screen.
To save endangered languages, tech companies like Apple are working with Indigenous communities to meet the next generation where they type.
Investigators also sought permission to use an invasive surveillance tool called a cell-site simulators against journalist Georgia Fort and a Minnesota state Senate candidate.
Six months with AlterMe’s smart ring and a fitness app helped me build better habits, but the genetic insights were less revealing than I’d hoped.
After four weeks of using the cream, participants lowered the biological age of their skin by about two years on average.
Entertainment
Bryan Cranston is mourning the devastating loss of his TV son RJ Mitte ... saying he's in "deep despair" following the "Breaking Bad" star's death. Bryan posted a photo of him and RJ together and wrote in an emotional tribute "I'm in deep despair…
Influencer Gracie Bon is getting torn to shreds on social media after seemingly turning the Panama earthquake into a photo op. As you know, the country was rocked by a 7.7 earthquake last week, causing a ton of damage. Gracie shared snaps of…
Selma Blair’s lawyer is offering a new explanation for the actress’s alleged violent meltdown aboard a Delta flight … claiming several missed doses of medication, and a head injury, are to blame. During Blair’s arraignment in criminal court…
RJ Mitte's death brought a heavy police presence to his Texas neighborhood ... and we've obtained video showing cops outside the home where the "Breaking Bad" star was found dead. In footage obtained by TMZ, multiple police cars can be seen parked…
Kacey Musgraves is letting Kristi Noem have it after the ex-Secretary of Homeland Security threw some shade her way. Noem had attempted to pit the country singer against rising star Ella Langley while endorsing Texas' conservative senate hopeful…
Selma Blair has been arraigned in connection with her airport arrest and charged with assault, TMZ has learned. TMZ obtained court docs that say Blair's being charged with 2 counts of second-degree assault for allegedly attacking a police officer…
"Big Brother" alum Amber Siyavus had a string of legal troubles in the years before her death ... including felony convictions for forgery and a wild run-in with police. According to court docs, obtained by TMZ, Amber pleaded guilty in 2020 to…
Mark Wahlberg just dropped a major bombshell ... telling TMZ that "Entourage" just might make a comeback!!! We got it straight from the horse's mouth when we got Mark at AVRA in Beverly Hills ... Marky Mark says the guys' return isn't off the…
The Chainsmokers had an unexpected guest stealing the spotlight during their Austin City Limits performance ... a completely naked man who decided to let it ALL hang out while dancing to their music! TMZ has obtained video showing the nude…
RJ Mitte was set to star in an upcoming movie, "Forgotten Outlaw," but now it's officially on pause following his death ... and the director tells TMZ he's determined to move forward with the project to honor the late actor's wishes. Writer,…
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