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US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Larry the Cable Guy takes aim at corporations that considered his Southern brand ‘too controversial’
Daniel Whitney, known as Larry the Cable Guy, calls out corporate hypocrisy on during a podcast appearance, comparing his treatment to other popular rapper's deals.
Atlanta Dream and Golden State Valkyries left the court before the national anthem for a fourth straight WNBA Finals game as Trump urged a boycott.
France Interior Minister Laurent Nuñez says 135 people were arrested as 70,000 police officers deployed to clamp down on nationwide protests.
French AI entrepreneur Brivael Le Pogam warns France has reached the "dead end of socialism" as violent protests, looting and chaos spread nationwide.
Jalen Hurts' blood clot diagnosis puts blood thinners in the spotlight. Experts reveal five critical mistakes patients on anticoagulants must avoid.
Neil Bush revealed he voted for Democrat James Talarico over Ken Paxton, citing deep concerns about Trump's influence on the Republican Party.
A clean credit report doesn't mean your identity is safe. Six ways criminals can steal from you without triggering a credit monitoring alert.
Connor Weigman's 20 touchdown passes meet Devon Dampier's dual-threat ability as No. 14 Houston Cougars face No. 10 Utah Utes in a Big 12 showdown.
The U.S. DOJ is reviewing video of women's sports fans removed by Providence Park security after being struck with transgender flagpoles at a match.
Kate Gosselin responded to a fan on TikTok, saying her kids know who she "truly" is amid Collin Gosselin's abuse allegations and memoir release.
Satire
ATLANTA, GA — Federal election monitors confirmed Thursday that millions of mail-in ballots cast for Democratic candidates nationwide have been traced back to 12-foot-tall plastic lawn skeletons.
EDMONTON — Just days before Electronic Arts shuttered video game developer BioWare Corp., sources confirmed a divine promise was made to spare the studio if at least ten heterosexual white male game developers could be found there.
NEW YORK, NY — LGBTQ+ has just gotten a little more inclusive with the addition of an "S" for "Sibling."
PHILADELPHIA, PA — NBA officials believe they've finally found a way to get LeBron James to stand at attention during the national anthem and show some respect by giving him a Chinese flag to look at.
KYIV — Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy denied claims by President Trump that Starlink service had been restored in Ukraine, even going so far as to say their service had been downgraded by Elon Musk to Netscape Navigator with a dial-up connection.
Great news: YOU can stop paying taxes forever with this one simple trick!
PARIS — Panic spread across the city of Paris today after the Atlanta Falcons announced a surprise visit to France.
The Central Intelligence Agency is experiencing a historic surge of departures as the Trump administration pushes veteran officers to resign or retire. What do you think?
The post CIA Experiencing Mass Exodus appeared first on The Onion.
CHARLOTTE, NC — Night-shift nurse Avani Kaur burst into the hospital room at 2 a.m. this morning to remind recovering mother Lindsay Cullen how critical sleep is for postpartum recovery.
DULUTH, MN — Congresswoman Ilhan Omar narrowly evaded capture by authorities on Thursday as she was seen escaping aboard a Somali pirate ship docked in Lake Superior, shouting, "You will always remember this as the day you almost caught Ilhan Omar!"
With millions of Americans consuming far more sodium than is recommended by doctors, many are looking for ways to cut back. The Onion shares tips for lowering the amount of salt in your diet. Stay away from foods with red-flag terms on the label like “flavor.” Buy fresh, frozen, or canned jerky.
CLIVE, IA—In an effort to make their selection process more robust and holistic, officials at the multistate lottery game Powerball announced Friday the addition of an essay section. “In order to learn more about the wide range of people interested in becoming Powerball winners, we’re asking t
PARIS — To accommodate modern French sensibilities, the NFL has announced that their first ever game to take place in Paris will include special endzone messaging by having "Allahu Akbar" painted onto the field.
BURBANK, CA—Attempting to outline plans for their cinematic universe to fans, producers at DC Studios clarified in a press statement Friday that the new film Clayface was not connected to Matt Reeves’ The Batman, unless they decided it actually was. “With so much confusion over the large-scale
VATICAN CITY—In the latest sign that his health continues to improve, Pope Leo XIV declared Friday in an address to Catholics around the world that he would soon be strong enough to battle God. “To the faithful gathered here, thank you for your support, and know that I now feel better than ever
CHICAGO—Dashing from station to station in a state of pure delirium as he gazed upon the endless spread of complimentary food and drinks, local dad Bruce Etheridge was reportedly losing his fucking mind Tuesday over the box suite amenities at a Blackhawks game. “Holy crap, they got hot dogs, lo
LOS ANGELES—Peeking out from behind the trunk with a mischievous grin on her face, actress Sydney Sweeney announced, “Now my breasts are over here!” from behind an old oak tree Friday. “He-he, it’s me,” said the 29-year-old Euphoria and Anyone But You star, who giggled as she ducked behi
SAN FRANCISCO—Immediately reconsidering her decision to treat herself to a little spending spree upon seeing how much it would cost, local woman Christina Rogers reportedly scrapped her plan to splurge Thursday on account of the price. “I told myself I was going to reward my hard work this week
DAVENPORT, IA—In a shocking and distressing display of self-centered behavior on “this day of all days,” the grown children of Lynn Sullivan confirmed Thursday that their mom was making her birthday entirely about her. “It’s just ‘me, me, me,’ with her today. Unbelievable,” said 19-y
The post Nathan Fielder Quietly Deletes Footage Of Theranos Machine Working Perfectly appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
Milwaukee fans waited decades to see their team in the World Series. And in Game 1, the Brewers -- and the party -- didn't disappoint.
Why star contract negotiations have shifted, why OKC is preparing for more roster changes and more.
Which stars shined with their new teams? Which might want a do-over? Ben Golliver examines 12 opening week debuts.
Magic star Paolo Banchero has sustained a low-grade high ankle sprain, the team announced, with sources telling ESPN that the forward will miss multiple weeks.
Former NBA player Malik Beasley is negotiating a plea agreement with Department of Justice lawyers over his alleged role in a bribery and betting scheme, one of his attorneys confirmed.
The NFL closed its "NFL House" in Paris as the city braced for street protests with a heavy police presence and storefronts boarded up.
Texas will be without top tailback Hollywood Smothers for Saturday's showdown vs. No. 7 Ole Miss as the No. 19 Longhorns try to avoid a third straight loss.
Touchdowns for Tucker Kraft and Germie Bernard? Cardinals pull another upset? Revenge game for Trey Hendrickson? Let's predict 15 things for Week 7.
Manchester City suffered defeat for the first time in the Premier League this season after Nicolas Jackson's double earned Aston Villa a 2-1 victory at Villa Park.
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Urban Meyer, Mark Ingram, Matt Leinart and Brady Quinn offer up their college football midseason awards at the halfway point.
This World Series matchup has real early-series tension as the Milwaukee Brewers host the Tampa Bay Rays in Game 2 on Saturday, October 24, 2026, at 8:00 PM...
Brady Quinn and Matt Leinart reveal which players could challenge Ohio State superstar Jeremiah Smith for the 2026 Heisman Trophy if his production fades.
Check out the lines for every Week 7 matchup in the NFL.
Here are five things to know about Rays ace and World Series Game 2 starting pitcher Drew Rasmussen, who has a complex road to this point.
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the CFB Week 8 Boise State Broncos and Washington State Cougars game.
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the CFB Week 8 Iowa Hawkeyes and Minnesota Golden Gophers game.
Tech
Adding a new SIM to your phone links it to all Google accounts, and any new Google accounts you add all inherit your phone number.
There's a good reason for that arrangement.
You can try out the new feature on the Steam store's homepage.
Microsoft is reportedly planning to let subscribers build their own Game Pass bundle rather than pay for set tiers.
Capcom ID is still available to use, but users may see more phishing scam emails.
Your PS5 will look great plugged into any HDMI port on a modern TV, but only some unlock its full suite of display features.
The UK has established the AI Biosecurity Lab, which will help it detect biological threats and develop vaccines with AI.
You might have never thought to use Ethernet with your TV, but it's not speed that's worth connecting for.
There are various ways to silence your Apple Watch when you need to lock in. Theater Mode doesn't quite go as far as Do Not Disturb, but it's still very useful.
CR2032 batteries are found in a lot of gadgets around your home. They're easy to test when they run low, especially if you have the appropriate devices.
Security researchers used AI tools to help uncover years-old vulnerabilities in the PHP web scripting language. Then the AI-assisted attacks began.
The vaccine is personalized to a patient’s tumor, and results from the Phase 3 trial are yet another example of the promise of mRNA vaccines in treating cancer.
Whether you’re near or far, keep an eye on your fur baby with our favorite pet cameras.
Apple’s first folding phone is inspiring indie developers to create fun, quirky apps that take advantage of the screen and the hinge. Here are a few to try as you explore the Duo.
The Joybird Eliot Sleeper, plus hundreds of other options, are up to 40 percent off during the brand’s Semiannual sale.
WIRED and its panel of watch experts hunted for real mechanical timepieces at rock-bottom prices and found a wealth of options. Here are our favorites.
This screen-free soundstage starter kit opens a world of audio fun for kids aged 3 years and up.
I’ve tested laptops for more than a decade, and here’s my advice for finding the right laptop for you.
No cameras? No problem. Ditching the surveillance baggage makes Meta’s audio-only frames surprisingly easy to live with.
I’ve tested almost every Garmin watch—these entry-level favorites are steeply discounted right now.
Entertainment
Six Flags Over Georgia's Goliath roller coaster is set to be reopened with new safety features once the ride has been retrofitted ... after a man was violently thrown to his death earlier this month. The theme park announced seat belts would be…
Bhad Bhabie is looking to unload her massive Florida mansion ... and she's hoping to pocket nearly $7 million in the process ... TMZ has learned. Real estate sources tell TMZ ... the rapper's Boca Raton estate hit the market Wednesday with an…
Dakota Johnson and Machine Gun Kelly's romance is showing zero signs of slowing down ... with the pair seemingly glued to each other day and night in new pics. In the photos ... Dakota and MGK can be seen leaving a music studio together Friday…
Ric Flair is letting fans know he's OK after a fall landed him in the hospital ... sharing a photo of him wearing a patch taped over his right eye. Ric posted an update on Instagram ... thanking his fans for their support and the hospital staff for…
Anika Rashaun -- who starred on hit reality shows like "The Challenge" and "The Real World" -- has died from breast cancer ... her friends have revealed. The TV star-turned-dating coach died on Oct. 1 after being diagnosed with cancer last summer.…
Netflix's "The Ultimatum: Queer Love" star Vanessa Papa has been arrested for operating a vehicle while intoxicated in Indiana ... TMZ has learned. Vanessa was arrested this morning by both Terre Haute City PD and Indiana State Police and charged…
Destiny's Child rejoined forces in the crowd attending Jay-Z's Los Angeles show ... and we don't think you're ready for this reunion! Beyoncé, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams could be seen dancing in a suite at SoFi Stadium Friday night ...…
London's Metropolitan Police have confirmed they forwarded a letter containing several allegations about Thomas Markle Sr. to Meghan Markle ... but said they didn't share the claims with any other law enforcement jurisdiction. Scotland Yard told…
9:58 AM PT -- Podcast host Brandi Kruse tells TMZ that she and others were at the Portland Thorns game last night to protest another person they say was previously kicked out for wearing the XX-XY apparel. Brandi claims that she was assaulted, hit…
Kate Gosselin is insisting that her kids know her true self ... after son Collin Gosselin claimed she allegedly abused him. Responding to someone's TikTok comment who praised her sacrifices, Kate wrote ... "Wow. Thank you. I needed this…
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