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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
A U.S. Marine with the 3rd Marine Division died during a training exercise at Camp Schwab in Okinawa, and the incident remains under investigation.
Sen. Ted Cruz called the 2026 midterms a "blue tsunami" after James Talarico defeated Ken Paxton and Gina Hinojosa unseated Greg Abbott in Texas.
Steve Kerr stopped reporters after practice at Chase Center to riff on midterm results, months after vowing to dial back his political takes.
Charlamagne Tha God demanded Democrats deliver on housing costs, healthcare, wages and corruption investigations after winning the House and Senate.
Shaun Stebbins, a former elementary school aide, faces dozens of charges after state prosecutors allege images and videos of students were found on his devices.
West Hollywood, California's unanimous 5-0 vote granted hospital and jail visitation rights to people in polyamorous relationships through a city ordinance.
Notre Dame needs a signature win to climb the CFP rankings, but the Malachi Toney ankle injury adds a new wrinkle to Saturday's Miami showdown.
Former FBI agent Nicole Parker warns that hackers turning up supermarket freezer temperatures in Europe could target U.S. critical infrastructure next.
Tony Butala co-founded The Lettermen in the late 1950s and performed for over 60 years, earning four Grammy nominations and a Hollywood Walk of Fame star.
A Spokane County sheriff's deputy died and another is on life support after a SWAT team was ambushed responding to a domestic violence call.
Satire
WASHINGTON—Exhibiting a growing sense of panic as screens lit up with rumors and speculation about potential candidates, the nation reportedly watched helplessly Wednesday as the 2028 election cycle began. “Oh God, no, it’s not even 2027 yet—what do you mean people are talking about 2028?”
WASHINGTON—Their raucous cheers plunging to near pin-drop silence in a manner of seconds, presumptive Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) delivered a victory speech Tuesday night to a previously enthusiastic crowd. Sources told reporters that elated Democrats had been clapping, shouting,
Turn those frowns upside down, everyone! Even though the Democrats won sweeping victories across the country in the midterms, it's not all bad news out there. Believe it or not, there might even be some good things that come out of it.
HELL — In a small and private ceremony, the Prince of Darkness himself ceded his title of "Eternal Supreme Lord of Evil and Darkness" to a Reddit mod named Brayden.
The post Today’s Historic Front Page: November 4, 2026 appeared first on The Onion.
The post Haley Stevens High-Fiving Everyone At El-Sayed Victory Party Like Nothing Happened appeared first on The Onion.
EL PASO, TX — After the political winds ushered in sweeping changes to the Lone Star State last night, with radical Democrats taking power in what had been a staunchly conservative stronghold, millions of Texans were seen crossing the Rio Grande into Mexico.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Americans overwhelmingly voted blue on Election Day in a clear rebuke of Trump's inability to name more lakes after the United States.
U.S. — Fresh off a wave of overwhelming victories in Tuesday's midterm elections, Democrats were reportedly not sure what they were supposed to do now with all the fake ballots they had stored up.
The post Abdul El-Sayed Makes History As First Physically Healthy Senator appeared first on The Onion.
HEAVEN — In a major clarification that has sent waves of relief through exhausted households worldwide, heaven confirmed Thursday that skipping paragraphs or even full pages of a child's bedtime story does not constitute a sin.
U.S. — Americans despondent over the results of the 2026 midterm elections breathed a sigh of relief on Wednesday morning as news broke that Elon Musk had purchased the United States.
U.S. — The state of California has officially annexed the state formerly known as Texas.
BOSTON—Praising the artificial intelligence tool for its increasingly important role in shaping his coaching decisions, Boston Celtics head coach Joe Mazzulla revealed Tuesday that he had been using Claude to investigate why Jordan Walsh’s hair was like that. “Hello, Claude. Please generate an
Gina Billings, 64, died of unknown causes, but since her head is still attached to her body, beheading can almost certainly be ruled out.
The post Gina Billings appeared first on The Onion.
Jasper Collins, 59, died suddenly Tuesday, completely ruining his business partner’s plans to make him the fall guy.
The post Jasper Collins appeared first on The Onion.
Jimmy Chiarella, 72, died Wednesday after being the last one to say “not it.”
The post Jimmy Chiarella appeared first on The Onion.
The Loyola High class of 2003 got it right when they voted Julie Marks, 41, most likely to die by ciguatera fish poisoning.
The post Julie Marks appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
Miami star Malachi Toney has a high ankle sprain and will have surgery, sidelining the receiver for Saturday's game against Notre Dame and beyond.
Victor Wembanyama had career highs of 52 points and 24 rebounds along with eight blocks to power the Spurs past the Mavericks on Wednesday night.
Sources said Wednesday was the first time some players had seen Jalen Hurts since he was put on injured reserve because of blood clots in his lungs.
The Cardinals are finalizing a trade to send quarterback Jacoby Brissett to the Ravens, sources told ESPN's Adam Schefter and NFL Network's Ian Rapoport.
Packers running back Josh Jacobs said he's operating under the assumption that he won't have to sit out any more games than the six he already missed while on the NFL commissioner's exempt list despite the release of additional allegations against him.
Charlotte Hornets guard Kon Knueppel exited his season debut after appearing to aggravate the left hamstring injury that had sidelined him to start the year.
With Mike Norvell gone, the Seminoles slide onto this week's dubious list.
Niners coach Kyle Shanahan said Jauan Jennings' decision not to return to San Francisco came after the two had a "good talk" via FaceTime.
LeBron James is cautioning against any proclamations the 76ers are NBA Finals-bound despite a blistering 8-1 start.
Given the veteran QB's recent track record, it remains to be seen whether Baltimore can truly salvage its season.
Two rising stars in the Big Apple are battling atop the NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year oddsboard after Week 8. See the latest.
Malachi Toney’s injury has massively shaken up the Heisman race. See how it has affected the oddsboard.
Jose Mourinho hailed "extraordinary" Jude Bellingham after the midfielder scored a brilliant back-heeled goal against AEK Athens in the Champions League on Wednesday.
Here's the latest news from around the NFL ahead of Week 9.
Miami wide receiver Malachi Toney will require surgery for a high-ankle sprain and miss the remainder of the regular season.
Polymarket Promo Code FOX: Claim $25 in Bonuses for Tonight's NBA Slate, Including Cavs vs. Thunder.
Was the Bears' win over the Seahawks convincing enough to put them at No. 1 over the Bills, 49ers and Broncos in Tom Brady's power rankings?
Sammy P sent a whisper to his friends in Vegas, who answered whether three college football juggernauts are actually that.
Get 3 Months Free NBA League Pass When You Bet $5 on 76ers vs. Pistons or Any Other Game.
Christopher Bell missed a golden opportunity in this year's Chase, but he and his team learned lessons along the way.
Tech
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Whether you’re looking for a Herman Miller promo code or discounts in their sale, here is how to save on the world's best ergonomic office furniture in November 2026.
Learn new skills for less. Discover how to apply a promo code for Udemy, find verified online discounts, and save on professional development.
Enjoy big savings on your next adventure with our Booking.com promo codes, coupons, and handpicked travel deals.
Enjoy top deals on cameras, computers, and tech essentials at B&H Photo.
Score big savings on Altra Running shoes with up to 50% off sale styles, 20% off select models, 10% off your first order when you sign up, plus free standard delivery on every purchase.
Save up to 60%, plus an extra 20% with HP promo codes for laptops, printers, PCs, and more tech.
Power users seem more than willing to pay for AI-powered effects.
The company behind the widely used tool for AI text is moving into more kinds of AI slop.
The Nano Controller is adopting a Google Stadia trick.
This is potentially terrible news for those who love physical media.
Santa Monica Studio will use the extra time to push the game "to its fullest potential."
The TVPort project is another example of people using Claude Code to bring software to other platforms
Bluetooth HDT's rollout will benefit a wide range of wireless devices and how they communicate.
This was the Cybertruck of elections.
Nowhere was the rebuke stronger than the now-blue Ohio.
Apple Music will launch 'Selfie Sing' with iOS 27.3.
Entertainment
Brooks Nader is hopping into bunny territory ... and it looks like she's the newest addition to Hollywood's upcoming Playboy movie, "Playmates!" Photos of the "Baywatch" babe rocking the iconic Playboy Bunny look while filming on set at a Beverly…
Kim Kardashian and Jennifer Lawrence are taking their friendship to a whole new level ... and apparently, that includes coordinating their bedtime looks! The Hollywood besties were spotted leaving the Four Seasons Hotel in New York City rocking…
Karissa Shannon is sounding off on the disturbing claim Hugh Hefner's widow made ... confirming it's "true." In a new interview with Page Six, the former Playboy Playmate said Hef tried to make her and her twin, Kristina, perform incestuous acts on…
Christina Applegate says she's back to "square one" after her MS misdiagnosis ... revealing she's getting tested for other diseases. This week on her "MeSsy" podcast, the "Dead to Me" star revealed she's getting tested "one-by-one" for the "sister…
Zac Affleck won't be telling his side of the story on the upcoming "Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" spinoff ... 'cause he didn't film a single scene with Jen Affleck before she pulled the plug on their marriage ... TMZ has learned. Production sources…
"Breaking Bad" star Dean Norris is in the middle of divorcing his longtime wife, Bridget Norris, while they deal with serious financial issues, TMZ has learned. According to court docs, obtained by TMZ, Dean's wife, Bridget, filed for divorce in…
Billionaire Leon Black is siccing his lawyers on Rep. Robert Garcia, suing the congressman over comments he made about Black’s connection to Jeffrey Epstein. According to court documents, obtained by TMZ, the private equity investor is suing…
Nathalia Gadelha Filgueiras was a "natural-born pilot" ... according to one of the first instructors who taught her, who's now paying tribute to the young co-pilot killed in the tragic Palm Beach plane crash. Chris Kirk, who says he was one of…
"90 Day Fiancé" star Michael Eloshway wants his child pornography conviction thrown out ... but federal prosecutors aren't buying his argument that his lawyer botched the case. According to court documents, obtained by TMZ, the government is…
Stevie Wonder's ex-fiancée is firing back at him in court ... denying all of his claims against her and claiming he -- as her landlord -- needs to fix numerous alleged issues with the house where she's lived for decades. Carmen Efferson filed a…
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