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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
The 1-of-1 Cooper Flagg rookie card from Topps featuring his NBA debut patch was discovered by RhodyBreakers during a live stream card break.
Bron Breakker sought Paul Heyman's approval on "Monday Night Raw," but Heyman's response about Oba Femi being WWE's future deepened the tension.
Videos show rescue workers combing through rubble as more than 3,000 people remain missing on Tuesday after a 7.4-magnitude earthquake in Colombia.
Video captures construction workers clinging to a malfunctioning Miami crane as its arm collapses onto a luxury high-rise pool deck during assembly.
Megan Romer told "The New Yorker" she would have attended the pro-Hamas rally and called the October 7 attacks likely "inevitable" in a viral interview.
The Castellows teased their upcoming song "Way Things Work" featuring Keller Cox on Instagram, calling it a "feel-good-sad-song" fans already love.
A largemouth bass exploded from the water and swallowed Charl Schwartzel's golf ball at LIV Golf New York at Trump National Golf Club Bedminster.
Washington Commanders left tackle Laremy Tunsil needs surgery on a torn triceps injury he suffered during a drill against Odafe Oweh, sidelining him indefinitely.
North Carolina state Rep. Jennifer Balkcom has been tapped as the GOP nominee to run for U.S. House in the state's 11th Congressional District.
Chrissy Metz says she was "nervous and scared" to try a GLP-1 but her doctor recommended it, and she's now focused on longevity and overall health.
Satire
ARCHERON (LV-426) — A grotesque creature scientists identified as a Xenomorph Queen reportedly elected to freeze its eggs until such time as it becomes "emotionally ready" to have offspring.
U.S. — The Democratic Party announced on Tuesday that U.S. citizens were not allowed to remember all those things the party said and did just a few years ago.
LOS ANGELES—Clarifying that he was simply curious whether there was a comparable version of himself overseas, Los Angeles Dodgers third baseman Max Muncy reportedly asked teammate Shohei Ohtani on Tuesday if they had Max Muncy in Japan. “I’m just wondering if you guys have your own version of
ANN ARBOR, MI—In an effort to irritate the recent winner of Michigan’s Democratic Senate primary at all hours of the night, a spiteful American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) reportedly spent $30 million this week to place a really loud bird directly outside the window of Abdul El
BLOOMFIELD, CA—Saying he would need to lean on family and friends for support as he began his journey to reenter society, local man Gregory Webb confirmed Thursday that he was struggling to acclimate to life outside having his penis stuck in a hot tub jet. Shortly after his release, Webb reporte
NEW YORK—Calling the issue an existential threat to American parties, hangouts, and chill seshes, a group of leading immunologists issued a statement Tuesday warning about the rise of good time–resistant supernarcs. “Over the past decade, we’ve witnessed the emergence of narcs that are able
Timothy Burnett, 67, was sealed in a mausoleum Sunday along with the living Taskrabbit handyman, Rover walker, and DoorDash deliveryman who will continue to serve him in the afterlife.
The post Timothy Burnett appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—After the nation gamely took another bite in an attempt to place the elusive flavor, the entire U.S. populace confirmed Tuesday that it was detecting…cardamom? “I’m definitely getting some nice, almost floral spice on the finish, not quite anise, but something in that neck of the
MANCHESTER, NH — Local man Stephen Barnes returned home from work early Monday evening, exhausted after a long day of typing stuff into ChatGPT.
U.S. — The general public breathed a sigh of relief on Monday after it was revealed that a team of top scientists was hard at work trying to come up with a way to make the iPhone weather app even less accurate.
PLAINVIEW, TX — Local 40-year-old man Ben Gantry admitted that he had spent the past three decades chasing the high he first felt while seeing the cards bounce around the computer screen after winning a game of solitaire.
IRVINE, CA — The elders of the United Reformed Church of Irvine made the devastating discovery Sunday that an unscriptural hymn, entirely inappropriate for corporate worship on the Lord's Day, was unfortunately quite a banger.
TERRE HAUTE, IN — In a wholesome display of innocence, a five-year-old white girl reportedly told her parents how she dreamed of one day growing up to get beaten up in the WNBA.
U.S. — A new report confirmed that white people remained totally unaffected after a massive recall was issued across the U.S. for contaminated jalapeños.
LOS ANGELES—In an apology to the artistic community, director Eli Roth admitted Monday that most of horror film Ice Cream Man was not made using AI. “I know this is a disappointment to many of my friends and fellow filmmakers, but this film was largely made using humans,” said Roth, who confir
AUSTIN, TX — Senate candidate James Talarico announced on Monday morning that he would be following in the inspiring footsteps of Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and electing to have his eggs frozen.
Experts say becoming an entrepreneur is possible with the right combination of capital, networking, knowledge, and mentorship. The Onion shares tips for starting your own business. Figure out what people want, and taint it with AI. Ensure you have enough savings to survive for the six days until you
The FBI has found at least a dozen instances of Iranian hackers targeting municipal water systems, including the networks that control valves and water pressure. What do you think?
The post Iranian Cyberattacks Target U.S. Water Systems appeared first on The Onion.
PHOENIX—Horror and revulsion at drastic changes to a longstanding package design were alleviated Friday by reassuring text on a Cheez-It box that promised consumers the interior product still retained its familiar great taste, retail sources confirmed. “My legs nearly buckled out from under me
Sports
An amateur golfer has resigned from his membership at a St. Louis-area club after admitting to a now-viral cheating scandal in which he faked making a hole-in-one.
The Vikings have named Kyler Murray the team's starting quarterback over J.J. McCarthy, sources told ESPN's Adam Schefter.
What hurdles could the top 10 contenders in the NBA face during the 2026-27 season? Our NBA insiders break it down.
The NBA announced its opening week, Christmas Day and Martin Luther King Jr. Day games on Tuesday, leading with a tripleheader on Oct. 20.
Hafley promised a heavy workload for De'Von Achane, saying that the Dolphins' star RB could have games in which he touches the ball more than 40 times.
Alec Pierce remains sidelined after offseason surgery on his left ankle, and the Colts still are not placing a firm timeline on the WR's return.
President Donald Trump said in a social media post Monday that ousting FIFA president Gianni Infantino would be a "terrible mistake."
Cooper Flagg's coveted one-of-one numbered rookie debut patch autograph card was found in Rhode Island on Monday night.
Northwestern announced Tuesday that the football team has received a $35 million donation from Liz and Dick Uihlein aimed at strengthening the program.
The time to nitpick every win and loss has arrived, as some teams need a dramatic run to reach the playoffs.
Check out the odds for the NBA's three opening night showdowns, featuring The King and The Alien.
Anthony Colandrea is a mobile QB, and his play style changes the game for Nebraska.
The NBA dropped its Christmas Day schedule. See the early odds and what to know about each holiday game.
The Minnesota Vikings have reportedly decided whether Kyler Murray or J.J. McCarthy will be their starting quarterback.
Christopher Bell's second-place streak continued at Iowa, but it didn't stop him from moving up the rankings.
Here's the latest offseason buzz and rumors around the NFL.
Where and when will NASCAR race in 2027? Here are the latest schedule updates.
The Phillies kept the Cardinals at bay, the Rays extended their winning streak, Freddie Freeman made it happen 1.5 times, Jackson Merrill did it again and more from Monday's MLB action.
So, what happened with the scoreboard in Monday night's Red Sox-Blue Jays game that brought home a run? Here's an explainer.
See the complete 2026 NFL Christmas Day schedule, including matchups, kickoff times, TV channels and streaming information for all three games.
Tech
Disney+ will be the new global streaming home of Formula E racing.
Giving your controllers a good clean can help with stick drift.
The maker of Until Dawn and Directive 8020 says it's cutting jobs to ensure it remains sustainable.
Cameras are typically banned in courtrooms, and Meta Glasses are no exception in England and Wales.
State laws around driving with headphones vary, so make sure you know what's legal.
The PC gaming world has tried to move on from bulky, heavier mice, but the Naga V3 Pro proves that it still has its place.
The PS5 may not support Bluetooth audio directly, but there are workarounds.
The FDA approved Samsung's Galaxy Buds hearing aid feature, which will soon be available alongside a hearing test.
New research finds that by making the fossil fuel industry more productive, AI could help increase carbon emissions by up to nearly 5 percent—vastly outpacing the impact of data centers.
Is Garmin's new option worth $100 more than the Fitbit Air?
Motorola's Moto Watch looks like a capable and affordable timepiece, but looks are deceiving.
The company previously teased it would change messaging in May.
Researchers say it took fewer than 20 prompts for a public AI tool to find a flaw (now fixed) allowing anyone on a Zoom call to hijack another participants’ device.
I tried the red-light therapy masks flooding my feed and consulted with professionals to find out which ones are worth the splurge.
If you care about good air, it’s time for a dehumidifier. These are the best ones we’ve tested for everything from basements to drying laundry.
Researchers devised a way to extract “reasoning traces” from Claude, GPT, and Gemini. What they found, they say, indicates that some Chinese AI may be trained on leading US models.
Beyond Elon Musk’s interpretation of The Odyssey, Silicon Valley leaders have often misunderstood classic books like Foundation and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. It’s evident in their tech.
Mini human brains are being grown in labs all over the world. Soon, they could outthink neural networks.
Startups and Big Ag are using Crispr gene editing to create crops that taste better and grow on a hotter planet. But will they find a market?
Don’t fly to Turkey just yet. Our WIRED testers saw visible hair regrowth with these red-light therapy devices.
Entertainment
Enes Kanter Freedom declared for the WNBA Draft, and now he says he's started to "transition" ... but it's not what you think. The longtime hooper, shirtless and looking SHREDDED, posted video of a workout sesh, where the 6'10" center is ripping…
Cardi B had some police drama at her video shoot Monday in NYC ... a photog got into it with security ... and found himself in NYPD handcuffs. Law enforcement sources tell us ... the 70-year-old shutterbug, identified as Steven Sands, disrupted…
Jill Zarin's mother, Gloria Kamen, is dead. The former 'Real Housewives' star announced her mom's death in a heartfelt social media post Tuesday ... saying Gloria died earlier this morning. The cause and manner of death are unclear. Jill shared 20…
An MMA fighter had a "life comes at you fast" moment this week ... when he made his way to the ring with an epic K-Pop dance -- just to get knocked out minutes later. The equal parts highlight and lowlight came at the RIZIN 54 event at Toyota…
Jools Lebron's being mindful of her mental health ... telling her faithful followers TikTok's no longer very demure -- and she's stepping away for now. Here's the deal ... the influencer took to social media recently to talk about her dental issues…
This hottie's making it hard for fans to cool their jets ... showing off her body while straddling a jet ski. The influencer shared a clip to Instagram of her bod, and her sexy bikini left little to the imagination ... emphasizing her booty before…
A child's playtime inside a Kansas home turned deadly ... when a 4-year-old was allegedly electrocuted by a clothes dryer. The Allen County Sheriff's Office says the child was playing at a residence in Savonburg on Thursday when they reportedly…
A traffic stop in Arkansas went off the rails when a state trooper threw an 18-year-old woman to the ground and punched her ... it's on video, and now her attorney wants answers. Dashcam footage from the August 1 stop shows Trooper Moisses Arellano…
Former Arizona Cardinals general manager Steve Keim's connection to Mohamed Coulibaly is being revisited after the alleged scam artist's death earlier this month ... but the ex-NFL exec is adamant he's a victim. As we previously reported, cops…
Adam22 said his wife Lena The Plug "went over the line" when she threw her wedding ring in front of Drake ... but admits he isn't holding it against her. We got the podcaster in Los Angeles on Monday, and our photog asked about Lena's appearance on…
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