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US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Madison Chock and Evan Bates claimed the silver medal in a thrilling Olympic ice dance final, while teammates Emilea Zingas and Vadym Kolesnik finished fourth.
James van der Beek shared the overlooked warning sign of his stage 3 colon cancer and why early screening at 45 is crucial.
An Oregon man was arrested with a manifesto allegedly targeting ICE agents as DHS launches investigation and speaks out about anti-ICE rhetoric from Democrats.
Vehicle plunges 500 feet off Big Sur cliff in California, killing one person. The tragic crash occurred at Hurricane Point overlook along scenic Highway 1.
Law enforcement experts analyzed evidence from Nancy Guthrie surveillance video, identifying five crucial investigative leads in the Arizona missing woman case.
Elizabeth Hurley stuns fans in a red bikini at 60, sparking comments about her age-defying looks. The "Austin Powers" star shares paradise vibes.
Sen. Mitch McConnell was discharged from the hospital after experiencing flu-like symptoms and will work from home this week as Senate faces Friday DHS funding deadline.
Political battle over ICE funding intensifies after tragic cases including Laken Riley and Jocelyn Nungaray murders spark heated congressional debate.
The NBA has suspended Isaiah Stewart seven games for leaving the bench and fighting during the Pistons-Hornets brawl Monday night in Charlotte.
Seattle Seahawks linebacker Ernest Jones IV delivered a profanity-laced speech at the team's Super Bowl parade, and punctuated it with a two-word message for the critics.
Satire
The Winter Olympics have long labored in the shadows of the Summer Olympics, boring and under-loved. With just half the viewership of the Summer games, the Winter Olympics is in dire need of bold changes. Here are 9 easy fixes to instantly make it more entertaining:
MILAN — In a move designed to boost the level of interest from viewers and athletes alike, the 2026 Milano-Cortina Winter Olympics introduced an exciting new event in the Septuple Luge competition.
The post Keys, Spare Change Fly Out Of Luge Athlete’s Pocket On First Turn appeared first on The Onion.
VANCOUVER — Canadian reporterpersons announced that policepersons have confirmed the identify of the gunperson in Tumbler Ridge.
U.S. — With the horrific news breaking of yet another mass shooting at a school, the media has remained completely stumped as to anything recent mass shooters could have in common.
GILBERT, AZ — According to sources, a family of church visitors left services almost immediately on Sunday after finding out that pastor said "worsh" instead of "wash."
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — Local wife Rebecca Gadsen interrupted a story she was telling her husband to begin telling yet another unrelated story.
U.S. — Turning Point USA has announced that they will be hosting the "All-American Olympics" which will feature Kid Rock competing in every single Olympic sport.
Internal Department of Homeland Security documents revealed that less than 14% of the nearly 400,000 immigrants arrested by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement last year had charges or convictions for violent criminal offenses. What do you think?
The post Report: Less Than 14% Of Those Arrested
CAMBRIDGE, MA—Claiming there simply wasn’t much else going on for the birds over the past several million years, a study published Tuesday by Harvard University ornithologists found that macaws evolved their vibrant coloration as a way to pass the time. “According to our research, macaws’ s
BOSTON—In a move hailed as a breakthrough for round-the-clock gambling, sports betting company DraftKings announced Tuesday that users would now be able to place wagers directly from within their dreams. “At DraftKings, we know the action never sleeps, and you should be able to wager however—
The post Mom Strong Arms Cashier Into Accepting Expired Coupon appeared first on The Onion.
The severely hungover pair woke up married Sunday morning after an alcohol-fueled six years of courtship and dating.
The post Allen Goltham and Ryne Baxter appeared first on The Onion.
HEAVEN — Old habits from life on Earth seemed to be challenging to break, as reports from Heaven indicated that Saint Peter was seen trying to explain to John the Baptist that he didn't have to eat bugs anymore.
Bad Bunny broke down barriers at this year's Super Bowl by putting on a show that only 15% of the viewing audience could understand, which has people wondering how the NFL will follow it up.
U.S. — In an effort to expand the global market for American football, the National Football League announced on Tuesday that next year's Super Bowl halftime show would be performed entirely in Sindarin Elvish.
OWENSBORO, KY—Insisting that the Winter Olympic sport was “basically just lying there and letting gravity happen,” local man Michael Chou correctly declared Tuesday that he could totally compete in luge and it wouldn’t be that difficult. “Not to shit on these guys, but c’mon, if you can
The post Trump Attempts To Distract From Epstein Files By Gaining 200 Pounds appeared first on The Onion.
You can accept a four-bed colonial for $450,000…or take your chances on the mystery house! Reference #68379
The post Mystery House appeared first on The Onion.
The post Ron Howard Molts Baseball Cap To Grow Warmer Hat For Winter appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
Lionel Messi has a strained left hamstring, an injury that puts his Inter Miami season debut in doubt.
A judge on Wednesday kept former Jets first-round draft pick Darron Lee in jail without bond as he faces a first-degree murder charge in the death of his girlfriend.
Ex-Steelers linebacker and assistant coach Joey Porter Sr. said quarterback Ben Roethlisberger wasn't a good teammate or person in a podcast last week.
The NBA has suspended Detroit's Isaiah Stewart and Jalen Duren and Charlotte's Miles Bridges and Moussa Diabate for their roles in Monday's brawl.
France's Laurence Fournier Beaudry and Guillaume Cizeron put in a nearly flawless performance to edge out American stars Madison Chock and Evan Bates for Olympic gold in the ice dance Wednesday night in Milan.
The Spurs waived Jeremy Sochan on Wednesday, allowing the 2023 All-Rookie team forward to become a free agent.
FanDuel Sportsbook will no longer accept deposits by credit cards beginning March 2.
Sam Darnold thanked the Seahawks for believing in him as the team celebrated its Super Bowl LX championship at Lumen Field.
Who will win next season's Super Bowl? Who is set to be the next MVP? We asked NFL experts to make early calls on how 2026 will play out.
Casey Wasserman's job as chair of the 2028 Los Angeles Olympics organizing committee is safe after the board's executive committee met to discuss his appearance in recently released government files on Jeffrey Epstein.
Tottenham Hotspur are interested in reappointing Mauricio Pochettino as head coach after sacking Thomas Frank.
The two major London clubs are linked with a move with Atlético Madrid's Julián Álvarez. Transfer Talk has the latest.
Torque GC, Legion XIII and Ripper GC topped the LIV Golf Adelaide power rankings among the 13 teams.
Let’s dig into possible outfielders Team USA could try to recruit to replace two-time All-Star Corbin Carroll.
After September surgery to remove a blood clot and part of a rib, Phillies pitcher Zack Wheeler decided to hold onto a keepsake.
Reading. A data diary. Yoga. How MLS players eyeing a World Cup spot for the USA are trying to stay ready.
Who will win the 2026 Cup Series? Kevin Harvick, Bob Pockrass and Mamba Smith were all over the map with their predictions.
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Tech
Meditation isn’t thinking about nothing. New research reinforces that it's a mind-altering, dynamic state that promotes focus, learning, and well-being.
Obsession over a show about two closeted hockey players has brought new fandom to the sport just ahead of the Olympics. But men's hockey's lack of support for LGBTQ+ players and fans is notable.
Petitions demanding people get the chance to be released from ICE custody have overwhelmed courts throughout the US.
Less than a week after Valve admitted that the current shortage (and growing prices) of RAM were affecting its hardware plans, the Steam Deck is completely sold out. The Steam Deck has gone in and out of stock in the past, but as Kotaku notes, the timing does raise the question whether Valve's RAM i
ExpressVPN is back on sale again, and its two-year plans are up to 81 percent off right now. You can get the Advanced tier for $88 for 28 months. This is marked down from the $392 that this time frame normally costs. On a per-month basis, it works out to roughly $3.14 for the promo period.
We’ve
This is going to be one of the shortest articles in my series on how to cancel your subscriptions to the best VPNs. Unlike most providers, Mullvad VPN does not automatically renew an expired subscription unless you tell it to. Thanks to its unique pricing approach, cancelling Mullvad is the default
Anthropic is upgrading Claude's free tier, apparently to capitalize on OpenAI's planned integration of ads into ChatGPT. On Wednesday, Anthropic said free Claude users can now create files, connect to external services, use skills and more.Anthropic added the ability for paid users to create files i
Apple has released the software update 26.3 for its various platforms. This includes the iPhone, iPad, Mac and Apple Watch. In other words, don't be surprised when your iPhone notifies you of a pending update.
Unfortunately, there isn't all that much to talk about here. Consider this a minor update
People have a right to know who their neighbors are, especially when it’s ICE.
Amazon has announced that it will bring its same-day prescription delivery service to 4,500 new cities and towns by the end of 2026. The company originally launched Amazon Pharmacy in 2020 with a two-day delivery option, and has continued to increase the availability and delivery speed of the servic
I used the viral AI helper to order groceries, sort emails, and negotiate deals. Then it decided to scam me.
Jason Momoa will be playing the lead in the forthcoming film adaptation of the Helldivers gaming franchise, according to a report by Variety. The games don't have a story-driven protagonist, so Momoa is likely to play a currently unnamed soldier.
We also have a release date for the Helldivers film.
The financier recommended adding Margaret Thatcher to Tesla’s board, even though she had been dead for five years.
This supercharged Anker pack can keep all your devices topped up.
Threads users have been complaining about its recommendation algorithm pretty much since the beginning of the platform. At some point, this turned into a meme, with users writing posts jokingly addressed to the algorithm in which they requested to see more posts about the topics they're actually int
NordVPN is offering a significant discount on its two-year plans, with 70 percent off its Complete tier and up to 78 percent off overall. For the Complete tier, the deal brings the total cost down to $130 for 24 months.
NordVPN regularly appears on Engadget’s list of the best VPN services thanks t
TikTok US just launched a local feed for users to "get the inside scoop on must-try restaurants, shops, museums and events." This is done by leveraging the exact location of people that are using the app and comes after a change in the platform's terms of service that says the app can do just that.
US Border Patrol intelligence units will gain access to a face recognition tool built on billions of images scraped from the internet.
Want to give your children an easy way to contact you—without giving them a smartphone? Family Setup on WatchOS can help.
From surprisingly good $300 Chromebooks to excellent $650 Windows laptops, these are the best budget laptops we’ve tested.
Entertainment
American actress Laura-Leigh was 22 years old when she was cast to be a part of "Vanderpump Rules" ... first airing in 2013, led by restaurateur and television personality Lisa Vanderpump. Laura-Leigh served crispy chicken sandwiches and fried goat…
Another possible development in the Nancy Guthrie abduction case today ... investigators have found a black glove in the area where she was last seen that could bring them one step closer to nabbing the masked suspect who allegedly took her. An FBI…
Lewis Pullman has been walking the nepo baby tightrope perfectly ... admitting he couldn't achieve everything he did on his own -- but, he has been taking pride in building a name for himself. We ran into the actor at LAX Tuesday ... and we asked…
James Van Der Beek's family says his declining health and his death brought on significant financial strain ... and now a crowdfunding page has been set up to help pay the bills. James' wife, Kimberly Van Der Beek, said on Instagram her friends…
TMZ Sports is going live from the newsroom to discuss the day's biggest stories ... but we don't just want folks to watch and enjoy the conversation, we want y'all to get involved!! Hit the comment section as Babcock, Lucas, Luca, and the whole…
TWICE’s Dahyun has temporarily halted tour performances because of an ankle fracture ... sparking social media buzz and upsetting fans. Last night, the girl group's agency, JYP Entertainment, issued a statement -- the K-Pop idol will be off the…
American actress and singer Victoria Justice is the latest celeb to flee L.A. and vacay her winter away ... The 32-year-old sported a striped bikini and posed pretty on the poolside with a vacation beverage in tow! Check out the gallery and see for…
Actor Bud Cort, who starred in movies and TV for decades, has died. Cort had many credits, beginning in television and movies in the late 1960s, and working steadily into the 21st century. Cort starred in the films "Harold and Maude" and "The Life…
David Archuleta is opening up about the darkest chapter of his life ... revealing he was actively scouting locations to end his life before his faith stopped him. The former "American Idol" star, now 35, makes the heartbreaking confession in his…
James Van Der Beek has died ... TMZ has learned. A rep for the Travis County Medical Examiner's Office in Texas says ... it was reported to them at 6:44 AM. No cause of death was given. James' wife, Kimberly Van Der Beek, posted about his passing…
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