Personalize Your Own Homepage
Login
Create Account
US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Indiana Hoosiers dropped five spots during their bye week as Hunter Yurachek's explanations raise more questions about CFP committee consistency.
Hakeem Jeffries pledged to drive down cost of living on housing, healthcare, and groceries, but he also vowed remedial assistance for DACA recipients.
Kirk Cousins revealed his Minnesota home sold quickly after joining Atlanta, and now his sons chose to leave Las Vegas to watch him play for the Vikings.
Dr. Jacob Agronin secured a full religious accommodation from SEIU union dues after citing the union's anti-Israel stances and calls to boycott the Jewish state.
Frankie Muniz was taken to a hospital after a practice crash at Daytona International Speedway ahead of Ford's Veterans Day Classic race event.
U.S. Senate Republicans suffer another stunning setback as Sen. Cindy Hyde-Smith is projected to lose to Democrat Scott Colom in reliably red Mississippi, according to AP.
Video captures the moment a Tomb of the Unknown Soldier sentinel called for silence and respect after laughter from Pete Hegseth's departing group.
Craig Carton defends the Devils' decision to bench Connor Hellebuyck in Winnipeg, citing death threats the goalie allegedly received from Canadian fans.
Prosecutors say David Agtsteribbe forged military records to join a veterans organization, then stole more than $81,000 to cover personal expenses.
Iran claims its Revolutionary Guard struck navigation equipment on Oman's Didamar Island in the Strait of Hormuz, but Omani officials dispute damage.
Satire
The end is officially near, as Democrats' midterm wins have swept them back into power, giving America — and indeed freedom itself — mere days left to live. Fortunately, you still have time to enjoy some of life's sweetest liberties before democracy dies.
PHILADELPHIA, PA — One of the sports world's brightest stars suffered a significant health scare on Tuesday night, as LeBron James was forced to press his Life Alert button after falling during a game.
LUBBOCK, TX — A drummer in a local megachurch praise band was horror-stricken after he accidentally summoned a demon while attempting to play in 6/8 time.
BLOOMINGTON, MN — Local man Max Carter announced he is 100% ready for a civil war even though he needs his wife's permission to go golfing.
ANAHEIM, CA — What had looked to be a promising career in the food service industry was abruptly cut short on Wednesday, as a local Taco Bell employee was fired for passing his drug test.
OVERLAND PARK, KS — A local baby was relieved to have narrowly avoided life-threatening danger last month by making it out of his mother's womb before Democrats won the midterm elections.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the midterm elections now over and the nation's capital preparing for the incoming Democratic control of the legislative branch, Republicans announced a new plan to do exactly the same thing and expect different results.
As America has changed over the centuries, so too has one of its most majestic symbols. Here is how the U.S. flag has evolved.
The post Evolution Of The U.S. Flag appeared first on The Onion.
THE HEAVENS—Noting that the change would take effect immediately for all 8.2 billion of His earthly creations, God Almighty, Our Heavenly Father, announced Monday that cutting hair would hurt now. “Going forward, cutting any hair on your body, from your head to your pubic region, will result in
ORLANDO, FL—Noting that there was “just something about him” and that he possessed the kind of innate physical tools that could not be taught, basketball scouts confirmed Friday that they saw tremendous potential in 7-foot-5 toddler Miles Covington. “I know talent, and this kid has that ‘
Google announced that schools which block AI use entirely would have their access to web search restricted, a move meant to curb growing calls to ban artificial intelligence in K-12 education. What do you think?
The post Google Withholds Search For Schools That Ban AI appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Contrary to popular belief, Republican lawmakers are reportedly glad that they lost the election because now they will have an excuse for not getting anything done.
LAS VEGAS, NV — Colin Kaepernick briefly got his hopes up today after seeing an incoming call from an unknown number, only to discover it was about his car's extended warranty.
Elon Musk announced that Tesla will cease production of the Cybertruck in 2027, diverting resources to increase manufacturing of the company’s self-driving taxi, the Cybercab. What do you think?
The post Cybertruck Discontinued appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Witnesses were reportedly shocked to see a common sparrow chattering away on a tree branch, seemingly unconcerned that Republicans had lost both the House and Senate.
Support for unions in the United States is the highest it’s been in decades, prompted by the rise of AI and income inequality. The Onion examines the pros and cons of labor unions. PRO They’re the only reason you’re not handcuffed to a mine cart right now. They’re the best way to get over a
LOS ALTOS HILLS, CA—Ranting at length as he shared details about his stressful work life, NVIDIA CEO Jensen Huang reportedly vented to his new Russian girlfriend Tuesday about the ongoing corporate investigation into his conduct at the company. “I’m telling you, Svetlana, you have no idea the
The post Is Violence Becoming Too Political? appeared first on The Onion.
SEATTLE—With its announcement of a new technology that company executives touted as the future of online shopping, retail giant Amazon confirmed Thursday that it would launch a new fleet of drones that continuously hover above potential customers until they order something. “This fully electric
Sports
Mississippi State star quarterback Kamario Taylor is finalizing a massive deal to return to Starkville in 2027.
Our panel of PHWA voters identify their finalists for all the awards, with some tight races in a few spots.
Find game previews, betting intel, broadcast information, stats and highlights here.
Let's make sense of Kirk Cousins to the Vikings, Josh Downs to the Chiefs, the Jaguars getting aggressive, and four teams' deadline silence.
No deals for Jonathan Taylor, Daniel Jones or Brian Thomas Jr.? Here's the latest intel.
Who most needs an ace? Which contender should make a blockbuster trade? Jeff Passan digs in.
Who will land the two-time Cy Young Award winner? We have all the latest updates on where things stand.
The USMNT's biggest star and its best prospect are poised to take the pitch together for the first time -- and they might be a perfect match.
Mauricio Pochettino is the leading contender to take over Manchester United, but where would that leave the USMNT? ESPN asks its analysts.
Brighton continue to impress, but should Arsenal be worried? What to make of Man United's dramatic comeback? Let's judge some overreactions!
Harry Kane went from overlooked youngster to Ballon d'Or winner. Now he's about to become England's record appearance-holder -- and possibly their greatest-ever player.
Frankie Muniz, known for his role in "Malcolm In The Middle," is "awake and alert" after crashing in practice at Daytona.
Wake Forest was left for dead in the NIL and revenue sharing era. But its big-time boosters and head coach Jake Dickert have the Demon Deacons in the CFP mix.
The U.S. men’s national team might soon be looking for a new coach, and U.S. Soccer is rumored to aim high.
A detailed Fernando Mendoza has put in the work, but will he shine in his first start? Here's what people around the league are telling us.
Will McDonald IV wants more playing time with the New York Jets after not getting his trade deadline wish.
Patrick Mahomes remains the favorite for NFL Comeback Player of the Year, but Tank Dell is surging. Here’s how the odds shifted after Week 9.
Two squads with injured quarterbacks are watching their odds to miss the playoffs move in the wrong direction. See the latest.
Spain or England? France or Portugal? All elite squads but only one can be at the top of my UEFA Nations League Power Rankings.
Los Angeles Rams head coach Sean McVay provided an update on wide receiver Puka Nacua, who suffered multiple knee sprains and turf toe in Week 9.
Tech
The company was throttling speeds for plans offered under the Affordable Broadband Act.
House Democrats are already planning to make their impeachment case against the defense secretary as airtight—and appealing to Republicans—as possible.
The airline believes AI poses security risks and may violate DOT and FAA rules.
An OpenAI model helped me teach the Microduck to waddle and moonlight as a tiny cat butler.
The chatbot was already available through the Google Maps app.
The Chinese company wants to compete with Meta's Muse.
Thanks to SpaceX's unique approach to testing, the answer isn't so clear-cut.
Bob Lee died from multiple stab wounds in 2023.
This is an attempt to "win another hour per user, per month."
The company will stop selling video doorbells, its home monitoring system and other products.
The early bird gets the worm. Here are the best Black Friday deals for 2026 you can get right now.
Radical Numerics has developed a model that it says can identify natural and AI-engineered pathogens without an internet connection.
“It has left a sour taste in my mouth,” says a Heated Rivalry fanfic author who found her work uploaded to AO3 mirror sites without her consent.
China’s use of sexpionage is a well-established intelligence tactic with recent, high-profile examples. So how did the world’s most powerful AI executive fall for it?
Europe's Digital Fairness Act targets digital practices that harm children and push people into spending more.
Winning streaks can be turned off and influencers will be forced to reveal when they’re being paid under the new Digital Fairness Act aimed at tackling “dark patterns” on platforms and services.
Microsoft's upscaling tech for video games is now officially available for select Xbox Ally machines, as well as some other Copilot+ PCs.
Grow a backyard’s worth of greens and vegetables in your house with a hydroponic garden. Here are a few that might be worth the investment.
Metalenz just acquired PxE to ditch the 50-year-old color filter that has held back smartphone night photography.
Looking for rich picture quality and inky-black shadows? These OLED TVs are the ones you want for your next movie night.
Entertainment
Ariana Grande is stepping back into the spotlight ... and she's bringing boyfriend Ricky Álvarez along for the ride as they make their red carpet debut! The couple hit the carpet together at the world premiere of "Focker-in-Law" ... marking a…
"The Real Housewives of Atlanta" star Angela Oakley is being accused of hurling a homophobic slur at a man … and harassing him for years ... TMZ has learned. A man named Alexander Hines filed a police report with the Atlanta Police…
Dianna Russini has received a ton of support from the NFL following her return to sports reporting, TMZ has learned. Sources tell TMZ Dianna is back in the groove of things after launching her new podcast "The Russini Report," backed by…
Russell Brand's Instagram has been taken down just days after he was convicted and sentenced for rape and sexual assault. Someone posted on Brand's X account -- which is still active -- a notice from Meta saying the actor's Instagram had been…
Don Leonard hasn't even been sworn into Congress yet ... and the Ohio Democrat is already getting a crash course in D.C. politics ... where crossing your own party comes at a price. Jacob caught up with the Rep.-elect Wednesday after his viral…
Stefon Diggs’ male sexual assault accuser won’t get the kickoff to their eventual trial moved ... because a judge has denied his request for a change of venue. A United States District Court judge turned down Christopher Griffith’s request…
The FBI has revealed that they found a child inside the cruise ship cabin where a man is accused of violently strangling his wife to death. FBI spokesperson Connor Hagan said ... "A child was involved in the situation and was found uninjured by the…
A building collapsed in Brooklyn, and firefighters are searching for anyone who may be trapped ... according to officials. The building collapsed around 4 PM in Flatbush ... and the FDNY says there were reports of people trapped, and multiple…
Stephen Curry is coming to his wife's defense ... and two former NBA stars were quick to apologize after the Warriors superstar called them out for criticizing Ayesha Curry. Steph fired back Wednesday afternoon in a video posted to social media ...…
A London curiosities collector has removed Russell Brand's pubic hair from his museum following the actor's rape conviction. Viktor Wynd had been displaying Russell's pubic hair at the Viktor Wynd Museum of Curiosities, Fine Art & UnNatural…