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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Teacher shortage crisis affects California as 40% consider leaving education due to financial issues, while nationwide 35% of teachers plan to exit the profession in the next decade.
Trump outlined a five-point legislative bucket list he says will secure GOP midterm victories, including voter ID and transgender policy restrictions at Republican conference.
President says he will keep the Strait of Hormuz open for the world, including China, while announcing plans to waive oil sanctions to lower energy prices.
Republicans push to alter Senate filibuster rules to pass Trump's SAVE Act requiring citizenship proof for voting, despite significant procedural hurdles.
Conan O'Brien said in a new interview that he realized late-night TV was in serious trouble after his viral "Hot Ones" appearance got 15 million views.
Tua Tagovailoa plans to sign with the Atlanta Falcons on a one-year deal after being release by the Miami Dolphins earlier on Monday, triggering a quarterback battle.
Tarik Skubal will make just one Team USA start after all, as manager Mark DeRosa announced he will return to the Detroit Tigers despite second thoughts.
In a letter to President Trump, members of the Republican Main Street Caucus back Sen. Markwayne Mullin to lead Homeland Security after Kristi Noem's ouster.
Sam Harris challenged Bill Maher over his dinner with President Donald Trump, arguing it helped normalize the president while Maher defends pragmatism.
Federal investigation underway after Pennsylvania students accused of explosive attack outside mayor's residence. ISIS inspiration concerns cited.
Satire
If you missed celebrating International Women's Day yesterday, it's not too late to solemnly observe it in a variety of meaningful ways.
United Airlines announced it will begin removing passengers from flights who refuse to wear headphones when listening to content on their personal devices, claiming that such behavior could lead to a permanent ban. What do you think?
The post United Airlines To Kick Off Passengers Who Refuse To Use
LOS ANGELES—Facing fierce backlash for remarks deemed deeply ignorant by devoted fans, actor Timothée Chalamet came under fire Monday for dismissive comments about traditional Japanese bunraku puppetry. “I never want to end up in a position where I’m one of the Ningyōzukai manipulating the a
BRUSSELS — As all eyes around the globe remained fixed on the ongoing U.S.-Iran conflict, leaders gathered for an important summit in a clear display that Europe remained under its persistent delusion that anyone cares what it thinks.
NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohram Mandani called a press conference on Monday to clarify that his wife only celebrates the actions and mission of terrorists in her capacity as a private citizen.
New work requirements for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program have gone into effect across the nation, threatening benefits for millions of Americans. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the new SNAP restrictions. Q: Why were new work requirements put in place? A: Barb Klima
CHICAGO, IL — Political commentator and columnist for The New York Times David French praised Satan on Monday, calling the great red dragon the most Christian person in history.
TEHRAN — As the conflict in the Middle East stretched into a second week, the Iranian government issued a public statement boasting that it had destroyed hundreds of U.S. missiles with its buildings.
CHICAGO, IL — According to early reviews, the new Obama Presidential Center boasts an exciting interactive exhibit for all ages where guests can make their own birth certificate.
PHILADELPHIA—Hailing the discovery as a major step forward in the understanding of human psychology, University of Pennsylvania researchers published a study Monday revealing that mourning loved ones is a huge waste of time. “Contrary to past assumptions, our work suggests grieving a lost family
DENVER—Saying strange formatting and grammatical mistakes were a dead giveaway that such messages weren’t to be trusted, local IT specialist Mark Tapley warned employees this week not to trust emails he sends after a few drinks. “Personal security is my priority here, so I’d advise everyone
Why risk losing a costly stationary house when this Class C motor home can also transport you away from floods and fires. Reference #023478
The post It Wasn’t Called ‘The 2008 RV Market Crash,’ Was It? appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK CITY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani has strongly condemned New Yorkers for making Muslims throw improvised explosive devices at them.
HOUSTON, TX — Out of a job after his primary defeat, Dan Crenshaw has officially joined up with the crew of the infamous "Pirates Who Don't Do Anything."
VATICAN CITY — Pope Leo issued a forceful condemnation of the Allied Forces resorting to violence instead of simply talking things out with the Nazis.
Kristi Noem was fired from her post as Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security and will be replaced by Senator Markwayne Mullin (R-OK), the embattled Noem’s exit following intense public backlash to her handling of Trump’s immigration crackdown and mishandling of department funds. What
WASHINGTON—Characterizing her new role in the middle of an Iowa corn field as a better fit for her skill set, the White House announced Friday that former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem had been reassigned as a scarecrow at the USDA. “While she clearly struggled in her prior position, w
WASHINGTON—Striking a note of optimism as the prospects for a protracted conflict with Iran grew likelier, President Trump on Friday urged Americans to bear in mind that they’ll no longer have to pay their son’s cell phone bill if he dies at war. “You may be grieving at first, but, believe m
The post Stoic Kristi Noem Bears Firing With Stiff Upper Lip, Chin, Cheeks, Forehead appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
The first day of NFL free agency was wild. Here are the big takeaways from the biggest signings.
See which teams have locked up an automatic bid for the 2026 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament ahead of Selection Sunday.
This week's rankings were shaken up after underwhelming performances from top teams.
The price of failure increases as the importance of the Champions League never goes away for big clubs.
Milan's derby win over Inter has opened a little bit of a title race again in Italy ... at least for now. Plus: Arsenal messed around in the FA Cup and nearly paid for it, while Lamine Yamal showed just how great he is for Barcelona.
How has NFL free agency affected 2026 draft plans? Here are Field Yates' updated predictions for picks Nos. 1-10 after the first wave of deals.
Here are the World Baseball Classic up-to-date pool standings and the remaining games in each pool.
Compare the best Colorado sportsbooks and their promos. Learn how to sign up, claim sportsbook promos, and legally bet on sports in CO.
Compare the best Illinois sportsbooks and betting apps for 2026. Learn how to sign up, claim sportsbook promos, and legally bet on sports in IL.
Kenneth Walker III's new workload in KC could have a big impact on his fantasy value.
The NBA has called off the Hawks' plans for celebrating Atlanta's famed strip club, saying it did so because of "concerns" from across the league.
Former Miami Dolphins quarterback Tua Tagovailoa plans to sign a one-year deal with the Atlanta Falcons, a source told ESPN's Adam Schefter.
The Phillies locked in Jesus Luzardo a year before he was due to reach free agency by agreeing on an extension worth $135 million, sources said.
If Michael Penix Jr. isn't ready for the season, the Falcons have a new lefty QB to start. Here are the key questions about the move.
Compare the best Kentucky sportsbooks for 2026. Learn how to sign up, claim sportsbook promos, and legally bet on sports in KY.
Compare the best Massachusetts sportsbooks and betting apps for 2026. Learn how to sign up, claim sportsbook promos, and legally bet on sports in MA.
Compare the best Virginia sportsbooks and betting apps for 2026. Learn how to sign up, claim sportsbook promos, and legally bet on sports in VA.
Compare the best Tennessee sportsbooks and betting apps for 2026. Learn how to sign up, claim sportsbook promos, and legally bet on sports in TN.
Compare the best Pennsylvania sportsbooks and betting apps for 2026. Learn how to sign up, claim sportsbook promos, and legally bet on sports in PA.
Tech
Ahead of its annual developer conference, Nvidia is readying a new approach to software that embraces AI agents similar to OpenClaw.
Rode’s not done releasing trimmed-down versions of its production tools with an eye on budget conscious creators. Today, it’s launching Rodecaster Video Core, an all-in-one studio setup which sits below its flagship Rodecaster Video and its (now) mid-range Video S. It’s aimed at folks who are
The federal government announced a new pilot program designed to get new kinds of ultralight vehicles and “eVTOLs” up and running around the country—even if they're not fully FAA-certified.
People can block the xAI's Grok chatbot from creating modifications of their uploaded images on social network X. Neither X or xAI, both Elon Musk-owned businesses, have made a public announcement about this feature, which users began noticing on the iOS app within the image/video upload menu over t
Executives at the AI startup say companies paused deal talks after the Trump administration labeled it a supply-chain risk, warning that the fallout could cause a major revenue hit.
Google DeepMind chief scientist Jeff Dean is among the AI researchers and engineers rushing to Anthropic's defense.
The Netherlands’ military intelligence service and domestic intelligence agency have issued a join warning claiming that Russian hackers have launched "a large-scale global cyber campaign to gain access to Signal and WhatsApp accounts belonging to dignitaries, military personnel and civil servants
Bluesky CEO Jay Graber, who has led the upstart social platform since 2021, is stepping down from her role as its top executive. Toni Schneider, who has been an advisor and investor in Bluesky, will take over the job temporarily while Graber stays on as Chief Innovation Officer. "As Bluesky matures
Mark Gurman at Bloomberg is back with the latest rumors about what's afoot with Apple's future plans, and how its ongoing difficulties with artificial intelligence seem to be creating further delays for its next wave of product launches. His sources say that Apple is expected to postpone the debut o
Venture capitalist Toni Schneider will take over as interim CEO as Bluesky’s board of directors hunts for a permanent replacement.
Uber has expanded its program that helps pair women riders and drivers. The Women Preferences feature is now available nationwide, after being tested in several cities. It has previously been available in many countries around the globe and started in Saudi Arabia back in 2019.
It's pretty easy to u
Samsung just announced that 120 games will be playable via its Odyssey 3D Hub platform by the end of the year. This is the platform that provides content for glasses-free 3D monitors like recent Odyssey displays.
The company made this claim at GDC 2026, while also noting that the platform currently
EA axed an undisclosed number of employees across the game studios behind the Battlefield franchise. As first reported by IGN, EA told affected employees that the layoffs were part of a "realignment" across the Battlefield studios, which include Dice, Criterion, Ripple Effect and Motive Studios. Whe
A former barista explains why your espresso machine doesn't have to be fancy to make quality coffee.
Workers at Heart Machine, the independent studio behind Hyper Light Drifter and Solar Ash, have formed a union with Communications Workers of America (CWA) Local 9003. The wall-to-wall unit covers all 13 frontline employees at the studio, which voluntarily recognized the union in February after a su
The Sony WH-1000XM6 get a noticeable markdown for a limited time.
Anthropic has filed a lawsuit to prevent the Pentagon from adding the company it a national security blocklist. This comes days after the Department of Defense sent a letter to Anthropic confirming the company was labeled a supply chain risk; at the time CEO Dario Amodei had all but guaranteed Anthr
The Claude chatbot developer says the Trump administration overstepped by escalating a contract dispute into a federal ban on the company’s technology.
Whether you’re layering up for winter cold or looking for an ultralight summer system, I’ve tested and found the best base layers for all your outdoor adventures.
A bump in storage and the addition of MagSafe make Apple’s cheapest iPhone a better value proposition than its predecessor.
Entertainment
Rihanna is not taking any chances! Following a terrifying shooting at her home Sunday, she was snapped Monday getting on a flight and appearing to leave Los Angeles. Pics show bags being loaded into vehicles and driven to Van Nuys Airport before…
Dwight Howard may have filed for divorce Monday ... but TMZ has learned his estranged wife, Amber Howard, headed to court the same day to do the exact same thing. Sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ ... Amber was also filing with her attorney…
Los Angeles is still reeling from the terrifying shooting at Rihanna's home Sunday ... and we have video of authorities racing to get to the bottom of it. Yellow caution tape closed off the block today as an officer at the crime scene told us the…
Kathie Lee Gifford, who formerly co-hosted the fourth hour of "TODAY" for 11 years, suggested she'd get back in the saddle in a heartbeat if the show needed her amid Savannah Guthrie being off the air. We caught up with the TV legend in NYC on…
Jenelle Evans' son, Jace, recently checked into a mental health hospital following a 911 call about a disturbed teen at his grandmother's home ... TMZ has learned. Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ ... Jace is now receiving treatment at…
Jenna Dewan is a huge fan of opera and ballet, but she's coming to Timothée Chalamet's defense after his seemingly disparaging comments about the creative genres. ICYMI ... Chalamet has been catching a ton of heat online for a viral clip where he…
Dwight Howard and his wife, Amber Howard, have had a chaotic couple of weeks -- and it goes well beyond what’s played out publicly online -- because cops have been called to their Georgia home three separate times in the past two weeks. A rep for…
The woman accused of shooting at Rihanna's home on Sunday seems to have shared multiple videos making incoherent accusations concerning the singer ... even what will happen when Rihanna dies. Watch the clip ... in a YouTube video posted January 4,…
Sherrone Moore copped a plea deal in his criminal case, but he's not completely out of the woods -- Paige Shiver's attorney tells TMZ Sports the former Michigan football staffer is not ruling out suing the coach and the school. Moore pleaded no…
If there’s anyone who knows how to rock a bikini, it’s Charly Jordan ... and we’ve got a whole batch of sizzling snaps to help celebrate her 27th birthday. As you can see, Charly’s the gift that keeps on giving -- and we’re guessing…
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