Personalize Your Own Homepage
Login
Create Account
US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Graham Platner claims he makes a living on the sea, but financial disclosures show his oyster farming income is dwarfed by disability payments.
Sen. Gillibrand, who led calls for Al Franken's resignation during #MeToo, remains silent on allegations against Maine candidate Graham Platner.
With President Trump attending Game 3 of the NBA Finals 3 at Madison Square Garden, a massive security presence with Secret Service, TSA and NYPD has already affected Manhattan.
A Washington school district removed unauthorized testosterone vials from a high school Pride display after they were added without approval.
A Houston father was killed during a carjacking after tracking his stolen truck using GPS, police said. A repeat offender on probation has been charged with murder.
Cleveland Browns players including Defensive Rookie of the Year Carson Schwesinger were baptized at a Cleveland for Christ event hosted by team members.
Obama-appointed federal judge strikes down Trump's $100,000 H-1B visa payment requirement, ruling it amounts to a tax only Congress can impose.
A 205-page House report alleges Keith Ellison and Tim Walz knew about Minnesota's massive fraud schemes years earlier than they publicly claimed.
Judge Debra R. McCaslin assigned to oversee Alex Murdaugh's murder retrial after South Carolina Supreme Court overturned his convictions in May.
Federal judge strikes down Trump H-1B fee ruling, finding the $100,000 visa requirement exceeded executive authority by functioning as an unauthorized tax.
Satire
U.S. — Toy manufacturer Playskool unveiled its latest educational playset this week called "My First Hobo Camp", with the toy designed to help California children develop the practical life skills they would need for adulthood in the Golden State.
The post NYPD Attempts To Deter Terrorists At NBA Finals By Doubling Assassination Fees appeared first on The Onion.
WACO, TX — A local fundamentalist church announced a new theme for VBS that was attracting a lot of attention in the community: "Demons Are Out To Get You."
LOS ANGELES, CA — California election officials reminded voters over the weekend that there are just 30 days left to mail in their vote for the Los Angeles mayoral election that happened last Tuesday.
The post Trump Claims He Never Promised A Livable Country appeared first on The Onion.
HOUSTON, TX — Taking stock of himself in the mirror this morning, local teenager Adrian Larson became deeply concerned that his hair does not look enough like a head of broccoli.
LOS ANGELES, CA — After the latest ballot drop, Los Angeles officials released an updated vote tally showing candidate Spencer Pratt was now sitting at negative one billion votes.
WASHINGTON—Admitting that his prior beliefs regarding conflagrations had been formed out of ignorance, longtime U.S. Forest Service icon Smokey Bear issued a statement Monday claiming that his views on wildfires had evolved. “You have to understand, when I was coming up in the ’40s, these fire
WASHINGTON—In what experts are already calling one of the worst outbreaks of foodborne illness in decades, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration issued an urgent recall Tuesday for 40,000 gallons of RFK Jr. milk. The recall, which covers all milk produced by the body of Health and Human Services S
NEW YORK—Calling the breakthrough a significant step forward in xenotransplantation, New York University doctors confirmed Monday they had successfully transplanted a pig foreskin onto a circumcised human. “This successful operation proves that pig penises are a viable, long-term solution for c
Water-Inefficient Landscaping: Featuring lush, non-native tropical plants, a pool, a fish pond, and a private putting green, this home spits in Mother Nature’s face and dares her to do something about it. Reference #815233
The post Water-Inefficient Landscaping appeared first on The Onion.
PETALUMA, CA—Nervously drumming his fingers as he reviewed the information one more time, local 20-year-old Kane Parsons reportedly attached the file Backrooms.mov to his film school application Monday. “Alright, here goes nothing,” said Parsons, who told reporters that he had so far applied t
June is time for Pride and time for travel. The Onion shares tips for helping LGBTQ+ Americans stay safe while traveling this summer. Use discretion when conversing with strangers on apps who list their job as “Secret Police.” Make sure the destination you’re heading to isn’t somewhere tha
A meta-analysis of existing research found that cat owners had an increased risk of schizophrenia-related disorders, concluding that those exposed to cats had twice the likelihood of developing psychosis. What do you think?
The post Cat Ownership Linked To Schizophrenia appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
Brandon Aiyuk posted a video to Instagram on Sunday, appearing to imply that the 49ers are afraid to release him because he could land elsewhere and eventually make them regret letting him go.
The New York Knicks announced that the winning bid in an auction for two seats for Game 3 on Monday night, the first NBA Finals game at Madison Square Garden since 1999, was $1 million.
The Chiefs are signing cornerback L'Jarius Sneed, his agents, the Katz Brothers, told ESPN's Adam Schefter.
Somali referee Omar Artan has been denied entry into the United States after getting selected to officiate in the World Cup.
Hilary Knight is heading to the PWHL's expansion team in Detroit as part of a sign-and-trade deal involving one of women hockey's most recognized stars, a person with knowledge of the deal told The Associated Press on Monday.
NFL Nation frames minicamp storylines, including Jalen Hurts, Patrick Mahomes and QBs in Arizona and Minnesota.
The Los Angeles Kings are hiring Peter Laviolette as their new head coach, sources told ESPN on Monday.
A judge's decision to rule Texas Tech's Brendan Sorsby eligible Monday drew the ire of college coaches and athletic directors, with reactions ranging from doomsday predictions to informal talk about Big 12 schools attempting to not play the Red Raiders.
Kentucky defensive lineman Nic Smith has died at age 20, the school announced Monday.
"Ridiculous, short-sighted and illogical." It's hard for Dan Wetzel to comprehend a judge's ruling that will enable Texas Tech QB Brendan Sorsby to play college football this season.
Michael Olise has completed his hat trick with a brilliant curler and France has beaten Northern Ireland 3-1 in its final World Cup warmup in Lille.
Here's the latest offseason buzz and rumors around the NFL.
The expectations for the United States at this summer's 48-team World Cup are no longer just about survival.
A breakdown of how World Cup kit numbers work, why FIFA limits squads to numbers 1–26, and what iconic numbers like 7, 9 and 10 mean for top players.
Rookie Denzel Boston has already wowed at Browns practices this offseason. Here's why the second-round pick might be able to transform Cleveland's offense quickly.
The world's biggest playmakers are set to shine at the 2026 FIFA World Cup. Check out who is favored to notch the most assists.
Which squads are favored to make it to the Round of 16 in the expanded field? See the latest odds.
The Netherlands team has ruled Jurrien Timber out of the World Cup due to a groin issue.
Baseball is going to have a new MVP in the American League. See the latest odds.
Compare the best sports betting apps and sites for 2026. See reviews, bonuses, and features to help choose the right sportsbook for your needs.
Tech
"We expect it to leak so we're just announcing it."
The ChatGPT maker announced it has filed paperwork to go public, just a week after rival Anthropic took the same step.
Social media posts questioning the integrity of LA’s mayoral election were labeled “paid partnerships.” Then Kalshi and Polymarket told creators to delete them.
The AI subscription now starts at $5 per month.
Three smartwatch models from 2022 and 2023 won't run watchOS 27.
Apple's focus on efficiency and performance improvements is good news for older iPhones.
Updates include a new souped-up Siri, lots of iOS enhancements, and some inkling on how an AI partnership with Google has come to power Apple’s products.
You'll need to be running Apple silicon to use the latest operating system.
Developer betas are available now for Apple's upcoming suit of OSes.
European Union and Chinese citizens will have to wait even longer before getting their hands on Apple's hotly-anticipated iOS 27 and iPadOS 27 with the new Siri.
watchOS snuck in some new health features amid that deluge of AI additions and minor improvements.
Apple's $3,500 headset is also getting an AI upgrade.
Siri is now directly embedded into the camera app, and there are more artificial intelligence tools in the Photos app to alter your images.
If you've wanted to tweak your AirPods sound, you'll soon get your chance.
From a stand-alone app to a Google Gemini partnership, here’s everything you need to know from WWDC 2026 about Apple’s upcoming overhaul of Siri.
The British government thinks a state-backed infrastructure initiative will help supercharge homegrown chip startups.
The code WIRED identified is gone from the latest version of Meta AI, the companion app for the company’s smart glasses. Meta won’t say why or whether it’s coming back.
Follow our WWDC 2026 live blog for all of the updates coming to iOS, macOS, watchOS, and more.
The popular wildfire tracking app is adding flood monitoring to its platform. It’s the first new disaster alert on the service, with many more to come.
Lenovo's IdeaPad Slim 5x just might be the best laptop you can buy for $850. It's hard to find any major flaws, which is basically unheard of in a laptop at this price.
Entertainment
Hollywood's full of famous friendships ... like Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez, Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper and so many others. From co-stars who are friends both on and off-screen to A-listers who bonded while running in celeb circles, we feel…
Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater have been quietly broken up for several months ... TMZ has learned. Sources close to the former couple tell TMZ ... the split is amicable and the two still remain friends and are very supportive of one another. We're…
Jason Biggs and Jenny Mollen look like they really are on great terms despite their separation ... 'cause the estranged couple just stepped out together for the first time since announcing their split. The two were spotted in New York City…
As Luigi Mangione awaits trial for the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, his sister is making headlines in the healthcare world for a very different reason. MariaSanta Mangione, 36, is set to begin a cardiovascular disease fellowship…
Kanye West is celebrating his 49th birthday with a concert tonight in The Netherlands -- but first Ye was showered with one helluva gift -- Bianca Censori stuffed inside a latex bodysuit! And what better gift could Ye ask for ... check out these…
President Donald Trump's trip to the NBA Finals is getting boxed out by Rep. Hakeem Jeffries ... who says POTUS has a knack for making every big event about himself. The House Democratic Leader weighed in when Jacob caught up with him on Capitol…
Shannen Doherty's long-time Malibu estate has finally sold ... after nine months on the market and millions off the initial asking price. The late actress' home changed hands for $7,650,000 ... a big drop from the original August 2025 price tag of…
Cut the music ... John Summit says his DJ set in Monaco came to an abrupt end after another artist forced his way on stage ... and his production director is seemingly blaming Travis Scott. Here's what happened ... John was playing Lilly's Club in…
"Love Island USA" Season 8 is heatin' up as we enter Week 2, and while Ariana Madix slays as host of 'LI USA,' Maya Jama has 'LI UK' on lock. We've got one key question: Who'd You Rather?! Vote Now!
Madonna is proving she's still the Queen of Pop ... and she's doing it in her signature boundary-pushing style with a new music video full of sexual innuendos. Ya gotta check out her new video for "CONFESSIONS II - The Film' ... the 67-year-old…
Stocks
Weather
Location is determined by your browser