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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Two Pennsylvania men accused of ISIS-inspired terror plot threw homemade bombs at NYC protesters. Both explosive devices failed to detonate during the incident.
Virginia Democrats advance sweeping assault weapons ban while West Virginia Republicans propose allowing machine gun ownership, highlighting sharp divide.
The rapid spread of low-cost Iranian Shahed drones is forcing the U.S. and its allies to use expensive missile defenses to counter mass attacks.
Top 10 Senate seats to watch in 2026 midterms include vulnerable Republican holds in Maine, Texas primary battles and key Democratic retirements.
Ayman Mohamad Ghazali allegedly purchased $2,250 worth of fireworks before ramming a truck into Temple Israel synagogue in West Bloomfield, Michigan.
Shop this weekend's best Amazon deals on spring cleaning essentials, tech upgrades, kitchen favorites and more — all at limited-time prices.
Team USA defeats Canada 5-3 in 2026 World Baseball Classic quarterfinals, marking the third U.S. victory over Canada in major international competition in the past month.
VP JD Vance claims economy improving in North Carolina campaign visit, touts rising home purchases and falling rents while campaigning for GOP candidates.
Mark DeRosa responded to World Baseball Classic criticism as Team USA advanced to the knockout rounds despite a controversial loss to Italy in pool play.
Travel agencies advise heightened caution for Mexico trips as cartel conflicts created temporary violence spikes in popular resort regions last month, with safety varying significantly by state.
Satire
NEW YORK, NY — Heaven rejoiced today after a Jewish man accepted Jesus and converted to Christianity. Sources confirmed that the man was converted thanks to the powerful witness of an X user who proclaimed, "Christ is King, you filthy money-grubbin' Jew."
WASHINGTON—In a heated exchange that laid bare a growing schism at the highest levels of Republican leadership, President Donald Trump and Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) reportedly clashed in the Oval Office Thursday over the question of where they were, with McConnell insisting they were at church a
Morbidly Obese Pete Hegseth Denies Any Knowledge Of What Happened To Leftover Lobster For The Troops
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An uncharacteristically rotund Pete Hegseth held a press conference to deny having any knowledge of what happened to all the leftover lobster that had been procured for the troops.
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA — Google announced an update for its popular Google Maps application that would automatically subtract an hour from travel time if it knows a dad is driving.
The post Lakers Fans Furious As Bam Adebayo Dies In Even Worse Helicopter Crash appeared first on The Onion.
MILWAUKEE—Accusing the actress of a grotesque act that showed profound insensitivity, Kate Hudson found herself under fire Thursday for performing in Wisconsinface for her most recent film, Song Sung Blue. “It’s so insulting to see someone who’s obviously never been anywhere near cheese cu
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senate Democrats voted to expel Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman on Thursday after their repeated warnings for him to stop supporting America were ignored.
WASHINGTON—Maintaining that his conduct was well within the guidelines for the solemn occasion, President Trump on Thursday defended his decision to wear a fruit hat while samba dancing during the dignified transfer of soldiers killed in Iran. “There’s no reason I can’t honor the sacrifice o
MILWAUKEE, WI — Local man Ed Clayfield reportedly saved himself an extended period of suffering by hiring members of the Academy Awards Orchestra to perform the "Wrap It Up" music whenever his wife's stories go too long.
PERSIAN GULF — Iran's military command is desperately scrambling to react upon learning the news that Donald Trump had chosen Mitth'raw'nuruodo, otherwise known as Grand Admiral Thrawn, to lead the U.S. carrier strike group in the Persian Gulf.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite early indications to the contrary, the Senate passed the SAVE Act after Senator Mike Lee reportedly changed its name to the "Give Congress A Raise Act."
Harry Styles has released Kiss All the Time. Disco, Occasionally, his fourth studio album. The pop star sat down with The Onion to explain the meaning behind each track. “Aperture”: “I typed ‘hole’ into powerthesaurus.com.” “American Girls”: “My favorite is Samantha, but Kit is a v
WASHINGTON—Claiming their mind was solely occupied by the hope of curling up in a ball and sleeping as long as they were allowed, the entire U.S. populace told reporters Thursday they lacked the strength to form an opinion on Donald Glover’s casting as the voice of Yoshi in The Super Mario Galax
The post Fiery Explosion Erupts In L.A. Canyon After Britney Spears Twirls Over Guardrail appeared first on The Onion.
The post Still Supreme! Iran’s New Supreme Leader Ayatollah Mojtaba Khamenei On Faith, Fitness, And Supremely Good Sex After 50 appeared first on The Onion.
Lisa Park, 29, literally died after running into her ex while he was on a date and saying, “Don’t have too much fun.” Like, what the fuck was that?
The post Lisa Park appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Positioning pubic hair as the body’s natural bulwark against urethral intrusions, Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. urged Americans Thursday to grow as many pubes as possible to keep bugs from crawling into their cockholes. “Pubes are the strongest type of hair there is, with t
Sports
The NWSL is back for 2026! Let's predict how each team will finish by assessing what's ahead.
Manchester United are reported to be looking at five managers to replace interim boss Michael Carrick in the summer. Transfer Talk has the latest.
Warriors coach Steve Kerr said his team is "as beaten up as any team I can ever remember" after losing four more players to injury Friday night, when they lost their fourth straight to fall two games behind the Clippers for the West's eighth seed.
UCLA star Tyler Bilodeau suffered a right leg injury that will likely sideline him for at least one game, but the Bruins held off No. 8 Michigan State 88-84 to advance to the Big Ten tournament semifinals.
Maple Leafs captain Auston Matthews has a torn MCL in his left knee and will miss the rest of the NHL season.
Sophia Wilson's return and Olivia Moultrie's winning strike highlighted the National Women's Soccer League season opener in the Portland Thorns' victory over the Washington Spirit on Friday night.
WNBA commissioner Cathy Engelbert told reporters Friday that there's urgency to get a new collective bargaining agreement done by Monday to avoid disruptions to the preseason calendar, including training camp and preseason games.
Jaden Bradley hit a fallaway jumper at the buzzer to send No. 2 Arizona to the Big 12 tournament finals with an 82-80 win over Iowa State on Friday night.
MAC commissioner Jon A. Steinbrecher is confident his conference will get two teams into the NCAA tournament for the first time in 27 years despite Miami (Ohio) losing to UMass in the league quarterfinals after going 31-0 in the regular season.
Opening Day is approaching fast -- and Jeff Passan has everything you need to know covered.
Team USA is earning its wins at the WBC. Next up is stout Dominican lineup putting up incredible numbers.
Conference tournaments are in full swing. Check out the odds for the major conferences.
Shohei Ohtani is holding steady as the favorite to win the World Baseball Classic MVP. Here are the latest odds.
Team USA is back on top as the favorite to win the World Baseball Classic, but the Dominican Republic is closing in. Here are the latest odds.
The World Cup is defined by memorable moments. Counting down to the top 100 of all-time.
🇺🇸 4 Takeaways From USA’s WBC Win
Team USA handled its business against Canada and now a bigger test looms at the World Baseball Classic.
The 2026 Big Ten Men's Basketball Tournament is right around the corner, and we've got you covered with everything to know.
Sixth-ranked UConn defeated Georgetown on Friday to set up a showdown of the top two seeds in the Big East Tournament final.
Recapping the quarterfinals action on Friday at the World Baseball Classic.
Tech
Do you really need a $300 trail running shoe? We test the treads, and the creds, of the Norda 001A G+.
The unique flat-bottom design of the Kalita Wave makes brewing exceptional coffee dead simple—especially if you can’t summon the rigor required to make perfect pour-over.
Declutter and deep clean your home sanely by breaking it into smaller tasks. You're also bound to discover there are things you no longer need that you can sell.
Researchers in Japan pioneered reprogrammed cells 20 years ago. Now the country has given the first-ever authorizations to manufacture and sell medical products based on the technology.
Tune in to watch the men’s and women’s teams fight to win the 2026 NCAA Division I Basketball championship.
Whether you are heading to a sold-out concert or a championship game, use a Vivid Seats discount code to secure your seats for less this month.
Use these verified Chirp coupon codes and shopping tips to score up to 67% off wheels, up to 50% off refurbished products, and more.
Gear up for your next adventure with these Coleman coupons and discount codes to save on camping essentials and outdoor gear.
Where to lock in, power down, and actually enjoy your business trip.
OpenAI plans to add its Sora video generation model directly into ChatGPT, The Information reports . The standalone Sora app was seen as a smash hit when it launched alongside Sora 2 in September 2025, but interest in the video generation app has fallen in the time since as users ran into limits on
Meta AI should soon be better at surfacing international news content thanks to a set of new deals with publishers. The company announced new agreements with international outlets and offered additional details on its recent deal with News Corp. The latest deals bring French newspaper Le Figaro, Sp
Adobe has agreed to pay the US government $75 million to settle its lawsuit over the company's allegedly harmful approach to subscriptions. The suit started in 2024, when the US Department of Justice and the Federal Trade Commission filed a joint complaint alleging the company deliberately made it d
In the mad dash many companies have made to incorporate AI features into their phones, Nothing arrived at one of the better ideas with Essential Space on the Nothing Phone 3a in 2025. The AI-powered app turns screenshots and voice recordings into actionable to-do lists and transcriptions, and now No
Apple's cheapest laptop is also its most repairable. iFixit gave the new MacBook Neo a 6/10 repairability score. Although that number would only be mediocre for, say, a game review or final exam grade, it's the MacBook line's highest iFixit score in about 14 years.As always, iFixit goes into great d
Meta is killing end-to-end encryption in Instagram DMs. The feature will "no longer be supported after May 8, 2026," the company wrote in an update on its support page. Unlike WhatsApp, Meta never made encryption available to all Instagram users and it was never a default setting. Instead, users in
Dreo’s spring sale offers a great deal on the Chefmaker combi cooker, plus discounts on WIRED’s favorite bathroom heater and tower fan.
Amazon is raising the price of its ad-free Prime Video subscription and locking 4K UHD streaming behind this new tier. Starting April 10 for US customers, a rebranded Prime Video Ultra subscription will cost $5 per month, up from $3 per month.
For that extra $2, you get a download capacity increase
Parallels, the company best known for making the virtualization software that enables you to run Windows and other operating systems on a Mac, has confirmed that Parallels Desktop is compatible with the MacBook Neo.
At launch it was unclear if Apple's new $600 laptop possessed the under-the-hood hef
The newly verified X account for Iran's supreme leader could be putting the company on the wrong side of US sanctions, according to a watchdog group. The Tech Transparency Project, which last month published a report on X granting premium perks to sanctioned officials in Iran, now says that the veri
TikTok's Chinese parent company ByteDance has figured out a way to access NVIDIA's latest AI chips despite export restrictions, according to a report by The Wall Street Journal. The company is working with a firm called Aolani Cloud and building out Blackwell computing systems in Malaysia.
This sho
Entertainment
Kyrsten Sinema’s boyfriend, Matthew Ammel, is involved in a bitter court battle with his estranged wife -- and the ex claims Matthew abused narcotics and psychedelics ... TMZ has learned.Matthew’s estranged wife, Heather Ammel, filed court docs…
Simone Biles is the best at what she does -- on and off the mat ... which includes making us drool over her Olympic-level bikini shots. Just when you thought Simone couldn't be more talented, she comes out with a treasure trove of gold-medal-worthy…
Ray J says he’s ready to bring out a major witness in his ongoing war with Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner over the infamous sex tape ... and it’s someone who he claims would know exactly what went down. The singer's lawyer, Howard King, tells…
Team Japan is set to take the field on Saturday against Venezuela in the quarterfinals of the World Baseball Classic in Miami ... and Yoshinobu Yamamoto and his teammate -- L.A. Angels pitcher Yusei Kikuchi -- gave folks at the park an up-close…
What was bigger this week than Donna Kelce's remodel? And, things are heating up over the Kim K sex tape. So we gotta ask ...
TMZ may collect a share of sales or other compensation from links on this page. They don't call Simone Biles the GOAT for no reason! She's the most decorated gymnast of all time and has crafted a legacy that extends far beyond the mat. She's…
In honor of Conan O'Brien taking the Oscars stage this weekend, put your detective skills to the test and see if you can put your finger on the switch-ups! Here is Conan during last year's Oscars -- looking snazzy in a bowtie -- while…
We're just one day out from Hollywood's biggest night, so we've assembled the best of the best, the hottest of the hottest ... and now it's on you to answer this key question: Who'd You Rather?! Check out the gallery and cast your faves! Be sure to…
The FBI has some new information to pore over in the Nancy Guthrie case ... 'cause the feds have been able to recover more images from surveillance cameras at her Arizona home. According to ABC News, the feds recovered thumbnail images from Nancy's…
Kayla Nicole Jones -- a YouTuber with a massive social media following -- is being sued by her hairstylist for allegedly hitting her in the face. A woman named Hanissatou Adam a.k.a Nissa The Super Stylist is suing Jones for an alleged incident she…
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