US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow • Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson • Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Caitlin Clark left the Indiana Fever game against the Phoenix Mercury with a back issue and was ruled out before the fourth quarter got underway.
Trump kicks off the Great American State Fair on the National Mall, comparing his political movement to the American Revolution at the 250th anniversary.
Indiana Fever star Caitlin Clark was shoved by Alyssa Thomas with no foul called, as the WNBA reviews her technical from a game involving DeWanna Bonner.
The Trump administration says federal authorities have arrested more than 10,000 suspected gang members since President Trump began his second term.
Body believed to be Kansas City World Cup highway shooting suspect Oscar Sanchez-Munoz was allegedly found by his family in the basement of a burned home.
A jury convicted Antonio Hammond of kidnapping a 2-year-old girl during an hours-long standoff in Harrisburg after he held the child at gunpoint.
Second Lady Usha Vance poked fun at The New York Times for a story about her pregnancy fashion she joked gave her maternity wear "political significance" i
Illegal immigrant Moises Domingo Rico Rosales faces abduction and indecent exposure charges after DHS says he was freed by sanctuary jurisdiction officials who ignored an ICE detainer.
Leah Stewart awoke from an induced coma after a shark attack at Coogee Beach in Sydney, sharing her first words 'I love you' with her family.
"Yellowstone" co-creator Taylor Sheridan warned Joe Rogan that anti-Trump politicians defying rule of law under Trump sets a dangerous precedent.

Satire
A decades-long study by the CDC concluded that each American state bears its own unique cause of death.
MILWAUKEE—Following his blockbuster trade to the Miami Heat, former Milwaukee Bucks superstar Giannis Antetokounmpo took out a full-page ad in The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Wednesday thanking Bucks fans for not eating him during his 13 seasons with the franchise. “To the people of Milwaukee, pl
DENVER, CO — Struggling to find alternative options on the mound that could potentially give the team a better chance to win a game, the Colorado Rockies asked the Girl Scout who threw out the first pitch if she could give them nine innings today.
NEW YORK, NY — Citizens of New York are reportedly excited to see how this brand-new, never-before-tried system of government known as "socialism" will ultimately turn out.
U.S. — In a powerful showing of solidarity with the algae discoloring the newly-renovated Reflecting Pool, liberals across the nation have begun adding green pond scum to their drinking water.
NEW YORK, NY — Almost 25 years after it successfully flew two jetliners into the Twin Towers, killing thousands of people, Al-Qaeda clinched Tuesday's New York City primary election in an explosive landslide victory.
LOS ANGELES—Enticing fans with the promise of the franchise’s most dangerous stunt yet, a new trailer for Jackass: Best And Last released Wednesday showed an aging Johnny Knoxville trying to climb a staircase without a handrail. “Holy shit, what the fuck am I doing?” said the 55-year-old Kno
RACINE, WI—Vowing that the new product line was the ideal way to make termites and beetles suffer for all eternity, household chemical manufacturer S.C. Johnson announced Wednesday that its insecticide brand Raid would be unveiling a new immortality spray that curses insects to watch everyone they
NEW YORK, NY — Seeking a way to spice things up after decades of the same draft format and raise the stakes for the players coming into the league, it was announced that the United States Army had been given one pick in each round of this year's NBA Draft.
MIAMI—Whispering a final goodbye to a wallet photo of his wife and two young daughters, beer delivery driver Marcus Dailey jumped down from the cab of his semi truck Wednesday and pointed a trembling shotgun as a crowd of Scottish soccer fans closed in. “Back! I’m warning you! Get back right n
The post Rigged Erection appeared first on The Onion.
The post Indian Director Scores Movie’s Psychedelic Section With Trippy Western Classical Music appeared first on The Onion.
Restaurants and bars catering to World Cup visitors have struggled with foreign tourists leaving without tipping, with many travelers confused by or unaware of the American practice. What do you think? The post World Cup Tourists Fail To Leave Tips appeared first on The Onion.
The post Roommate Ruins Completely Arbitrary Spice Drawer Layout appeared first on The Onion.
MOUNT SINAI — In light of continued encouragement that the Israelites would enter a land "flowing with milk and honey," one local Reubenite, later identified as Dathan son of Eliab, decided he should probably keep quiet about the fact that he doesn't particularly care for milk or honey.
Multiple Christian energy drink brands, such as Yahweh and Praise Energy, have hit the market, capitalizing on the image of Jesus to sell their products. What do you think? The post Christian Energy Drinks Hit Market appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a brilliant move of 4D chess, President Donald Trump made the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool even more swamp-like to better reflect the reality of the nation's capital.
NEW YORK, NY — Citizens of the year 2026 were left confused on Tuesday after a rift in the spacetime continuum deposited an apparent time traveler from the year 3247, whose sole mission was to warn humanity that Disney was still making Toy Story movies where he came from.
The post Tesla Launches New Model Of Explosions appeared first on The Onion.
U.S. — Before allowing customers to fill up with gas, pumps will now ask about a potential car wash, rewards membership, fuel additives, and the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.

Sports
The dog had to watch another four-legged mate eat in front of it and Miami wants to do what's right.
AC Milan have rejected an approach by New York City FC for United States attacker Christian Pulisic, with Milan stating that the player isn't available, sources confirmed to ESPN.
An Indiana man was charged on allegations he stalked Fever player Sophie Cunningham and sent her threatening and explicit messages on social media.
Fever star Caitlin Clark left Wednesday's game against the Mercury in the third quarter because of an apparent back issue.
Brandon Aiyuk continued his push to become a member of the Commanders on Wednesday, saying in a video posted to Instagram that if the 49ers release him, he will sign with Washington "tomorrow."
A pair of misdemeanor drug charges against Olympic gold medalist skier Bode Miller will be dropped, according to his attorney.
The Pistons are trading backup big man Isaiah Stewart to the Grizzlies for three future second-round picks, sources said.
Chris "The Bear" Fallica delivers his daily best bets for the World Cup. Here's what he's backing on Match Day 15.
Mexico's Merlin the duck was at Mexico City's stadium before the national team's match against the Czech Republic, but was not permitted to stay due to FIFA rules.
On paper, the United States has nothing to play for in its final group stage match. You wouldn’t know it when talking to the U.S. players here this week.
Will Hill believes Türkiye will give maximum effort from start to finish, against a U.S. squad with incentive to sit its stars.
USA wants to finish group stage on a high note. So do Germany, Japan and the Netherlands. Expect a fun Thursday at the World Cup.
Check out the latest 2026 FIFA World Cup odds and for Team USA after clinching Group D.
Disgruntled receiver Brandon Aiyuk said he would sign immediately with the Washington Commanders if the San Francisco 49ers grant his wish and release him.
With Vinicius Junior having the tournament of his life, Brazil is bringing the flair. Can it keep it up?
Follow the 2026 FIFA World Cup Golden Boot race with our live tracker, featuring the latest goalscoring standings, player statistics, and updates.

Tech
The Skylight Calendar 2 and Calendar Max are both on sale for Prime Day if you've been dreaming of a digital calendar to manage your household.
Farday Future hasn't quite given up on EVs, but it's now also pitching a lineup of robots, including humanoids and a quadruped with an optional canine heads.
Whether you're looking to upgrade your skin care routine or invest in hair restoration, these are the best Prime Day deals on some of our favorite red light therapy devices.
We've gone from A to Z to find Amazon's best Prime Day deals on the gear worth owning.
Google’s Search history update stores media uploads from your interactions, like images used in reverse image searches, for training its AI models.
It's not the $80 physical edition we deserve, and it's also not the one we need right now.
The Rocco isn’t on Amazon, but its rare sale knocks up to $400 off a fridge that can track your drinks and make any room look cooler. Save through July 5.
Shopping Roborock’s models can feel overwhelming. But there’s just one I recommend snagging during Prime Day.
Prime Day is still rolling, and so is our live blog. We'll bring you deals, trends, and commentary during the second day of Amazon's annual summer sale.
Indie movie fans are upset about Google DeepMind’s $75 million investment in the studio, which comes as AI companies are deepening their influence in Hollywood.
It's one of the best times to snag yourself a Dyson device, whether it's a vacuum or a beauty tool.
Don't pay full price—snag one of these tasty Prime Day tech deals on some of our favorite WIRED-tested gadgets.
It's a spicy start for the AI company's collaboration with the chip maker.
If you have a half-decent internet connection, you can probably turn "Data Saver" off.
According to Automotive News, the cult-favorite Honda Element could return in 2029 as a small hybrid SUV.
It's a Kickstarter from an unknown brand that wants to offer a classier fitness tracker.
Victim's family files wrongful death suit following Tesla crash in Texas.
The 8BitDo Arcade Controller Pro is a subtle update for hardcore fighting game fans.

Entertainment
A disturbing TikTok trend is drawing widespread backlash after users began posting videos that appear to mock the killing of Texas teen Austin Metcalf. The videos feature people dancing to a rap song called "Austin Bop," with some seemingly acting…
Jenni 'JWoww' Farley pulled a fast one on her loved ones ... springing a surprise wedding on them! She invited 50 people -- who thought they were going to a screening of her upcoming movie, "Nanny Cam" -- to the Madison Modern Social in Old…
Big Tigger was just ordered to keep his distance from his wife and children ... TMZ has learned. TMZ obtained court documents showing Tigger's wife, Alicia Brown, was granted a temporary protective order Wednesday after asking a Fulton County judge…
The suspect in Nancy Guthrie's abduction case is not on the brink of being taken into custody ... despite a former FBI agent's claim to the contrary. Here's the deal ... former FBI Special Agent Maureen O'Connell appeared on…
Former San Francisco Giants first baseman Aubrey Huff went scorched earth over the team's Pride Night firestorm ... unleashing a homophobic rant that he said spoke for "almost everyone" in Major League Baseball. The controversial slugger, who…
Frankie Grande says he's loving life as a "sparkly homosexual," and he's got some words of wisdom for members of the LGBTQ+ community ... be your authentic self! We got Ariana Grande's brother in New York -- he's back in the Big Apple after seeing…
Savannah Guthrie contacted law enforcement earlier this month after she says she learned a controversial YouTube personality was streaming outside her mother's home. According to police records, obtained by TMZ, Savannah reached out to authorities…
A warrant is out for Kim Scott’s arrest after she was a no-show in court for her DUI case ... TMZ has confirmed. According to court records, the judge issued a $10K bench warrant for Eminem’s ex on Wednesday after she failed to appear for her…
Olivia Wilde says don't worry darlings ... she never tore into Florence Pugh on a movie set, despite numerous reports indicating otherwise. The actress-turned-director reflected on her hit movie "Don't Worry Darling" during an interview with The…
Time for another guess who ... can you guess which Canadian singer is busting out of her animal-print bikini top?!? This babe became a global pop-star after creating hits such as "Greedy" and "You Broke Me First" ... and back in 2025 she broke up…

Stocks

Weather
Location is determined by your browser
Location is determined by your browser's location settings.