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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Caitlin Clark left a comment appearing to mock a bad AI image of her hand on the Indiana Fever's Instagram, sparking funny fan reactions online.
A Washington female inmate is suing corrections officials, alleging a male-born prisoner attacked her under the state's gender-identity housing policy.
Anti-Israel protesters with a list of demands for New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani marched along Amsterdam Avenue while shouting several chants on Thursday.
U.S. officials say the Iran ceasefire ended hostilities and reset the War Powers clock, but legal experts say military operations complicate that.
Trump turned a microphone malfunction into a comic riff at The Villages in Florida, joking that he was screaming his "a-- off" over the bad mic.
Seattle Mayor Katie Wilson's staff cut short a news interview when a reporter pressed her on rising gun violence and surveillance camera policies.
Buffalo Sabres fans went viral for singing "O Canada" during a mic failure, prompting Molson Canadian to offer free beer ahead of playoff Game 6.
Joe Rogan panned the Trump Justice Department's recent indictment of former FBI Director James Comey as being "silly" and "nuts," warning it was a dangerous precedent.
A woman hiking in Simi Valley was airlifted to a hospital with a rattlesnake bite, and Ventura County reported a surge in snake activity this summer.
GLP-1 medications like Ozempic and Wegovy may cause bad breath, a lesser-known side effect users are calling "Ozempic breath" on social media.
Satire
MURCIA, SPAIN—Sending shock waves through the tennis world, world No. 2 Carlos Alcaraz officially withdrew from the French Open on Monday over a career-threatening haircut. “After careful consideration, we have decided that the most prudent decision is not to participate in Rome or Roland-Garros
As Spirit Airlines prepares to permanently close its doors, it's time to take a look at some alternative means of travel.
LAKEWOOD, CO — In a solemn family meeting, local father Chandler Cooke gathered his wife and children into the living room to unveil the family's detailed, non-negotiable Lord of the Rings summer viewing schedule.
The post Casey Means Sucked Back Into Magical Neti Pot appeared first on The Onion.
There's a lot of talk out there about ending racial discrimination, but I implore everyone to reconsider. If we stop discriminating against people based on the color of their skin, the racists will have won.
BOULDER, CO—Assuring himself that the rationale for the ritualized surgery would be revealed in due course, cult member Jason Fitzpatrick told reporters Friday that he assumed the reason everyone’s penises were cut off would eventually come up in conversation. “The last thing I want to do as a
COLUMBUS, OH — The world's leading theologians admitted this week that they have been collectively struggling to find a good explanation for why a loving God could allow Ohio.
U.S. — Now that the TSA is fully funded thanks to the end of the partial government shutdown, sources confirmed that air travel was already back to being awful for its usual reasons.
A nonprofit in Rwanda gave gorillas bank accounts as a way to provide compensation to those who render assistance to them, with both the government and donors funding the project. What do you think?
The post Conservationists Give Gorillas Bank Accounts appeared first on The Onion.
The 2026 Met Gala will take place Monday, May 4. The Onion examines the key facts and figures behind the annual star-studded event. 1 in 3 Invitees aware the Met is a museum 5th Floor where the real Anna Wintour is safely stored while her decoy attends the gala $25 Target gift card awarded to […]
HUNT VALLEY, MD—Hailing the product as a life-changing alternative for those in need of controlled withdrawal solutions, officials at packaged food giant McCormick & Co. introduced a first-of-its-kind smooth and hearty transdermal gravy patch Tuesday. “At McCormick, we know well the frustrat
The post Phish Ask Fans To Stop Hacky-Sacking Sphere appeared first on The Onion.
The post Racehorse Receives Carrot Every Time He Wins $2 Million For Owner appeared first on The Onion.
The post Table Tennis Champion Too Weak To Hoist Trophy Over Head appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Less than a week after yet another assassination attempt against President Donald Trump, leaders of the Democratic Party pushed back against claims that they are guilty of inciting violence and said anyone who thinks they are should be eliminated by any means necessary.
The Justice Department indicted former FBI director James Comey a second time for posting a photo of seashells arranged in the shape of “86 47,” which Trump and his allies insisted was a threat to get rid of the 47th president. What do you think?
The post James Comey Indicted Over Seashell Photo
JACKSONVILLE, FL — Local man Trevor Riggs announced that he regretted spending 15 minutes reading the Bible this morning.
U.S. — According to reports, a small town girl living in a lonely world was forced to cancel her travel plans after being politely informed by an Amtrak employee that there isn't actually a "midnight train going anywhere."
HEAVEN — Within moments of arriving at the Pearly Gates, local boomer Gary Whitaker located Heaven's sound booth and politely but firmly informed the angelic operator that the worship music was too loud.
MACON, GA — A smoke alarm living in the house of a local family waited patiently until all the home's occupants went to sleep to start beeping loudly sometime around 3 A.M. to announce that its battery was low.
Sports
Notre Dame secured another addition to its future quarterback pipeline Friday with a commitment from four-star prospect Wonderful Monds IV, ESPN's No. 14 pocket passer in the 2027 class.
Minnesota starting quarterback Drake Lindsey, 20, was arrested early Friday in Arkansas and accused of underage alcohol possession and possession of a fake ID.
Steelers wide receiver DK Metcalf will not face criminal charges stemming from his altercation with a fan at Ford Field during the Steelers' December game against the Detroit Lions, the Wayne County Prosecutors Office announced May 1.
The Colts are declining to exercise QB Anthony Richardson's fifth-year option for 2027, a source told ESPN, meaning Richardson will hit unrestricted free agency after the 2026 season.
Running backs went early and as 10 ESPN fantasy analysts made their first fantasy draft picks of the year
Diamondbacks infielder Ildemaro Vargas extended his hitting streak to 27 games Friday, breaking the major league record for a Venezuela native.
The Mets have no immediate plans to fire manager Carlos Mendoza, despite the team owning MLB's worst record at 10-21.
For the second straight year, the Golden State Valkyries topped the WNBA with an $850 million valuation, according to Sportico.
Formula 1 might struggle to complete the full Miami Grand Prix if forecasts of heavy thunderstorms come to pass on Sunday.
Minnesota Golden Gophers QB Drake Lindsey was arrested for alleged underage possession of alcohol and carrying fake identification.
Compare the best Washington DC sportsbooks and betting apps for 2026. Learn how to sign up, claim DC sportsbook promos, and legally bet on sports in the District.
Alexi Lalas reacted to AC Milan coach's Max Allegri's comments about Christian Pulisic.
Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver DK Metcalf will not face charges after an incident with a Detroit Lions fan last December
Deshaun Watson may be the frontrunner now, but Shedeur Sanders should be the starting quarterback for the Browns in Week 1.
Learn how to bet on the Kentucky Derby 2026, from win and place bets to exactas, trifectas, and superfectas. Find the best horse racing apps and expert tips for the Run for the Roses.
The college basketball transfer portal officially opened on April 7, and we're keeping up with all the moves here.
New York Mets president David Stearns said that the team doesn't intend to "make a change" regarding manager Carlos Mendoza.
Can Carson Hocevar follow up his big win at Talladega with a victory at Texas? Here are the odds for the Würth 400.
There are a few squads who have yet to name a starter. Let's see the odds for Cleveland, Atlanta and more.
Tech
As adult riders report new age-verification checks, the self-driving car company says it’s continuing to “refine” its system in places where kids aren’t allowed to ride alone.
ChatGPT’s new privacy policy states how the company uses cookies for tracking, to turn free users into paying subscribers.
Will that stop them from taking over?
The compact desktop Mac now starts at $799 and comes with 512GB of storage.
The exploit, dubbed CopyFail and tracked as CVE-2026-31431, allows hackers to take over PCs and data center servers. The Linux vulnerabilities have been patched—but many machines remain at risk.
Build American AI, a nonprofit linked to a super PAC bankrolled by executives at OpenAI and Andreessen Horowitz, is funding a campaign to spread pro-AI messaging and stoke fears about China.
Lettuce Grow’s Farmstand is sure to impress, and it’s 20 percent off for Mother’s Day.
At WIRED Health, pioneering Alzheimer's researcher John Hardy outlined the stakes—and next steps—of where treatment is headed next.
Just don't expect it to work with many iOS or Android apps yet.
They're available today from LG's website.
Access Now, the group that organizes RightsCon, says Zambian officials asked it to exclude Taiwanese participants if it wanted the event to proceed as planned.
The system will track potential side effects of various birth control methods.
They join Google, OpenAI and xAI.
Two new projects, including one from a Pulitzer-winning reporter, claim they’ve solved the mystery of Bitcoin’s creator. So why does the hunt continue?
And why it's not exactly a PC gamepad.
So much for 200,000 EVs a year.
Did Instagram put its feed slop on notice?
From tech to home goods, these giftable gadgets are as practical as they are cool.
Plus, their definitive takes on sharpening knives and washing rice.
Entertainment
"The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" star Chase McWhorter is making one thing clear ... when it comes to the show, the women are in charge. We caught up with Chase in New York, and he told us he leaves all filming decisions up to the ladies of…
Bella Hadid and Adan Banuelos are putting past breakup rumors to rest ... the couple has been seen together for the first time since reports claimed they'd split. TMZ has obtained a photo of the pair taken less than two weeks ago in Texas, where…
This video shows D4vd apologizing to friends about a horrible "smell" in his home, 2 months after he allegedly murdered and dismembered Celeste Rivas Hernandez in that same house. In the clip, from a July 4, 2025 livestream, the singer is hanging…
Nia Long is "quietly fighting" Lionsgate over a pay discrepancy for her role in "Michael" ... at least according to a new report. According to Puck News, the actress had a "favored nations" clause in her contract that ensured she'd make as much as…
Kara Swisher has a dire warning about A.I. ... despite the technological miracles it brings to your life, it's also fueling a worldwide loneliness epidemic, and it just can't replace human interaction. The famed technology journalist is also…
If Dakota Mortensen had any chance of returning to "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" with production looming on the horizon ... it was pretty much torpedoed after the recent court hearing with ex Taylor Frankie Paul. A source with knowledge tells…
2:15 PM PT -- Metcalf's attorney, Mitch Schuster of Meister Seelig & Schuster, tells TMZ Sports they are thrilled with the decision and all the hard work that went into the thorough investigation. "We are confident that justice will also…
Celeste Rivas' father says he's never even met D4vd, much less received any money from him ... despite rumors floating around the family's home town that the singer was giving funds to the Rivas family. There's been online speculation, including on…
Sherri Shepherd won't be sitting around and twiddling her thumbs now that she's taped the final live episode of her talk show "Sherri" ... she's weighing her career options -- including turning her show into a podcast. We caught up with the star in…
Jimmy Kimmel will once again be appearing at upfronts for Disney's ABC ... just like he's done for the past 20 years, TMZ has learned. Multiple sources tell us ... Jimmy will be there -- news that would usually make for a ho-hum headline, but with…
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