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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Trump administration's Iran framework offers immediate oil sanctions waivers while postponing key nuclear questions, a gamble officials say carries risks.
Joe Rogan claimed former presidents contacted Spotify trying to get his podcast removed over alleged COVID-19 vaccine misinformation during the pandemic.
New York Mets reporter Steve Gelbs tries Skyline Chili and says he'd rather have a vending machine burrito, sparking heated debate among fans.
James Carville doubles down on his prediction that President Donald Trump will resign next spring, citing alleged health decline and increasing political pressures.
Mexican military intercepted a drone flying over South Korea's training camp ahead of their World Cup Group A match, prompting a security response.
Graham Platner's anti-law enforcement Reddit posts resurfaced as the far-left populist seeks to unseat Sen. Susan Collins in Maine's Senate race.
Federal authorities arrested 15 people in Massachusetts, including 11 illegal immigrants, accused of stealing over $1.4 million in benefits.
The York Revolution will forfeit Thursday's game after players refused to wear LGBTQ-themed jerseys on the team's 11th annual Pride Night event.
Senate Armed Services Chair Roger Wicker says Iran deal negotiates away U.S. victories, warning the $300 billion fund dwarfs Obama's 2015 agreement.
Kasper Schmeichel compared England to the Cowboys, but which NFL, NBA, NHL, and MLB teams truly mirror the Three Lions' long-suffering history?
Satire
NEW YORK, NY — MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred, reportedly infuriated by news of ball players defiling their pride hats with Bible verses, has ordered anyone who refuses to bow to the pride flag be cast into the fiery furnace.
WASHINGTON—Patting themselves on the back for seeing a film that was neither a sequel nor a prequel, the U.S. populace announced Wednesday that they were proud of themselves for watching and enjoying an original movie. “Learning the names of characters I’d never heard of before wasn’t easy,
IRAN — In a sign of total and absolute victory, President Trump announced that he had secured the reopening of the vital Strait of Hormuz, which was open before the war that Trump started in Iran.
CHICAGO, IL — In a bid to capture vintage nostalgia, McDonald's has announced the return of its true, original-recipe apple pies. The company confirmed the legendary dessert will once again feature the secret ingredient from its initial nineteenth-century inspiration: cocaine.
WORLD — Citizens across the globe breathed a collective sigh of relief after learning that the government of Iran has promised to be good from here on out as part of the peace deal negotiated by President Donald Trump.
Vacation Bible School season is upon us once again, and you may have noticed that every denomination has its own special twist on how to engage elementary-age kiddos. The Babylon Bee has surveyed the country, and here are the most popular VBS themes for each denomination:
EVIAN, FRANCE — Years after wandering away from a G7 summit, a confused former President Joe Biden was seen wandering back into the G7 meeting in France this week. A gathering of top world leaders was in the middle of a high-stakes debate on global trade when the doors swung open to the conference
Elon Musk became the world’s first trillionaire after his company SpaceX went public, with his personal net worth now eclipsing the entire GDP of countries like Taiwan, Ireland, and Sweden. What do you think?
The post Elon Musk Becomes World’s First Trillionaire appeared first on The Onion.
DALLAS—In a bold risk that strayed from her usual habits, local woman Emily Lentz reportedly dove headfirst into a thrilling adventure Wednesday by blindly purchasing a different apple variety. “What crazy times might this Cosmic Crisp have in store for me? I choose to accept its enigmatic offer
NEW YORK—At last providing a definitive answer to fans’ endless speculation, Sopranos creator and executive producer David Chase confirmed Tuesday that Tony Soprano died at the end of every episode in the series. “People have been asking me for a clear answer for a long, long time, so here it
It’ll take a lot more than the death of Fran Stephens, 50, to trigger a recall of ground beef.
The post Fran Stephens appeared first on The Onion.
The post Area Child’s Drawing Of Family Raises Troubling Questions About Size Of Dad appeared first on The Onion.
When I first booted up The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I thought I was gonna be in for a magical experience. The opening title card is fantastical and mysterious, and the music is pretty good. I couldn't find an option to turn the graphics to 4K resolution, but I set that aside and got started
The post Mikal Bridges Wakes Up From 4-Day Bender Next To Dead Jimmy Fallon appeared first on The Onion.
RAMSES — Archaeologists excavating at ancient Egyptian historical sites discovered evidence of another biblical plague, this one believed to have consisted of a horde of cyclists blocking Pharaoh's morning commute.
NEW YORK, NY — According to sources, Vice President JD Vance stumbled upon an incredible discovery on Tuesday when he made contact with a tribe of illiterate, feral women.
The UFC Freedom 250 event to celebrate President Donald Trump's birthday (and also for America's 250th birthday, kind of) was a massive success. That means one thing — more bloody, violent fights on the White House lawn. Through highly placed White House insiders, The Babylon Bee has obtained an e
New Education Department data found a double-digit decline in the number of school-aged children who read for fun almost every day, with the share of 13-year-olds who regularly read for pleasure down almost half since 2012. What do you think?
The post Study: Reading For Fun Down Among Schoolchildren
The post Elderly Man Uses Library To Print Out Pornography appeared first on The Onion.
CHICAGO—Anticipating the announcement would rank among the biggest scoops of his career, ESPN senior NBA insider Shams Charania is said to have casually mentioned to his colleagues Tuesday that he was really looking forward to breaking the news of Michael Jordan’s eventual death. “When MJ dies
Sports
On the heels of the Knicks' first NBA title in 53 years, owner James Dolan told WFAN radio Wednesday that he will not go into the punitive second apron to keep his team intact for the 2026-27 season.
Following an investigation into his brief tenure with the Blue Jackets in 2023, the NHL has cleared Mike Babcock to coach again amid the Oilers' interest in hiring him.
Wizards star Trae Young plans to decline his $48.97 million player option for the 2026-27 season, although Washington remains the front-runner, sources said.
Major League Baseball has once again proposed an international draft as part of its negotiations over a new collective bargaining agreement, sources told ESPN, painting it as a push to provide structure for an increasingly unruly and corrupt system.
Milwaukee Brewers right-hander Quinn Priester will undergo season-ending surgery for thoracic outlet syndrome and is expected to be sidelined for eight to 10 months.
The Senate Commerce Committee voted 19-9 on Thursday morning to move the Protect College Sports Act forward to a full Senate vote.
Ivory Coast striker Elye Wahi, who is being investigated into suspected spot-fixing, has not been authorized to travel to Canada for his team's next World Cup match against Germany, the Ivorian soccer federation said Thursday.
Which shortstop goes No. 1 overall to the White Sox? Where do top college stars land? Kiley McDaniel plays GM for all 30 teams.
The Washington Capitals have signed head coach Spencer Carbery to a multiyear contract extension, the team announced Thursday.
Here are the best sights and sounds from the 2026 U.S. Open at Shinnecock Hills Golf Club.
Drivers will have their hands full with the 16-turn, 3.4-mile course that weaves its way through the streets of Naval Base Coronado.
From rookies to former Pro Bowl quarterbacks, we highlight a pivotal player for each NFC team in the 2026 season.
A bipartisan bill top lawmakers and athletic leaders have described as the best chance to stabilize college sports is facing a key test in the Senate.
Get caught up with every goal from the 2026 World Cup from best to worst.
The 2026 FIFA World Cup is officially underway. Here are the updated odds for each team to advance to the knockout stage.
It's early in the Golden Boot race, but two of France's superstars are leading the way. See the odds.
The Dodgers now have MLB's best record, a couple of champions visit the Yankees, Ryan O'Hearn outscores the A's, Eduardo Rodríguez makes history and more from Wednesday's MLB action.
Check out the odds for the Mexico vs. South Korea Group A matchup at the 2026 FIFA World Cup.
Walker Zimmerman previews USA vs. Australia, which is a huge game in Group D at the 2026 World Cup.
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the Mexico and South Korea FIFA World Cup match.
Tech
The software engineers filed a complaint with Seattle’s civil rights office accusing Amazon of illegally retaliating against them for expressing their personal political beliefs.
Your Google Calendar is about to get a lot more colorful.
The rich are getting richer. Here’s what wealth advisers are telling their tech clients right now.
Akai updates the MPC One and Key 37 with better processors, additional RAM and more storage.
Pre-orders for Grand Theft Auto 6 open in just one week.
Now bring back the Microsoft Zune, I double dare you.
Adobe has added its Firefly AI tool to some of its most important apps.
XGIMI's MemoMind One is a good pair of smart glasses blighted by a creepy AI that spies on you.
Ultrahuman's M2 Live uses Abbott's cheaper Lingo sensors to help keep track of your blood sugar.
The company's latest recall of 3,871 vehicles follows incidents of its autonomous cars prioritizing other hazards or failing to recognize closed construction zones altogether.
The Frame Pro 2026 benefits from meaningful tweaks. AI audio and picture tuning work in tandem with a new anti-glare coating to deliver impressive benefits.
In a Truth Social post, Trump said Apple and Intel have already finalized an agreement to manufacture chips for the former's devices stateside.
Whether you need a travel-friendly slate or something affordable for the kids, we tested every model to find the right one for every occasion.
Waymo is recalling over 3,800 of its self-driving taxis due to a software issue that could cause them to enter closed freeway construction zones at speed.
I tested over a dozen top home diffusers for scent strength, longevity, special features, and more. The Urpower Aroma is my favorite option for most people.
Artist Morry Kolman will be livestreaming feeds of the NBA champions’ ticker-tape parade from NYC’s traffic cameras—and this time, the city’s Department of Transportation isn’t demanding he stop.
By focusing on sleep, ScreenZen’s app-blocking Halo gadget is downright dreamy compared to the rest.
NASA has teamed up with Eric Schmidt's Relativity Space for a 2028 Martian mission.
The 2026 World Cup promises a global celebration. Many Arab fans may find themselves locked out.
Wellness influencers have stumbled onto a huge issue when it comes male fertility, though not every solution they're pitching is good advice.
Entertainment
Christina Aguilera owned the stage for the grand opening of the Obama Presidential Center, ... putting on a powerhouse performance fit for a former president. Xtina brought the house down in Chicago on Thursday, with a rousing rendition of "What a…
We want you to be a part of TMZ, so every weekday, between 10:30 AM and 12:00 PM PT, we take you inside our newsroom via live stream. You never know what you're gonna get ... a big story that breaks, an argument erupts in the room, or someone's…
Jalen Brunson heard all the chatter surrounding the New York Knicks this season ... but he got the last word at their championship rally on Thursday -- telling the crowd there's no need to address the haters!! The Knicks took the stage in front of…
Madison Square Garden apparently was not Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce's first choice for a wedding bash ... our sources say the OG plan was north of New York City. Several months ago, there were reports the celebration would go down at Ocean House…
Knicks fans waited 53 loooong years for a championship ... and they damn sure weren't letting anything (or anyone) block their view of the parade! Millions of orange and blue lunatics flooded the Canyon of Heroes along Broadway in Lower Manhattan…
Wedding bells are getting louder for Travis Kelce ... but first came a laid-back night out with the boys in Los Angeles ... all while Taylor Swift's Rhode Island home was buzzing with pre-wedding activity. The Kansas City Chiefs star was spotted…
Timothée Chalamet won't be getting any acting done Thursday ... he's busy with his other job -- New York Knicks hype man at the championship parade. The actor hopped on a float at the landmark event celebrating his favorite team in NYC ... and…
Comedian Carlos Mencia is in some trouble with the law ... the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office says they'll soon be announcing criminal charges against him. D.A. Nathan J. Hochman says he will announce the charges against Mencia at 2…
Rihanna and A$AP Rocky were spotted out in L.A. for the first time since their Beverly Hills home was targeted in a terrifying shooting ... and the superstar couple appeared to be in great spirits. The singer looked effortlessly stylish in a beige…
New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani is partying like a champion on Thursday ... joining the New York Knicks on their float for their NBA Finals parade -- and showing off his moves that would make Fat Joe proud!! The mayor was spotted right next to…
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