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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
A fan who rushed the field during the Houston Cougars’ 33-20 win over the Oregon State Beavers was leveled by a police officer with a textbook tackle.
Dr. Phil McGraw calls the Lindsay Clancy case a "psychiatric emergency that wasn't treated as such" and warns of a potential copycat effect.
In-N-Out's Animal Style burger traces back to the early 1960s when a customer spotted an associate's custom creation and asked for one just like it.
Darian Mensah's dominant debut at Miami continues a stunning pattern as Mario Cristobal lands yet another elite transfer portal quarterback.
Manjit Singh Bedi was arrested in India after allegedly fleeing the U.S. to escape SNAP benefits fraud charges tied to a $600,000 EBT scheme.
Former Pentagon AI Policy Director Mark Beall warns Flock cameras could create a "China-like surveillance state" without strict court oversight.
Bunnie Xo revealed she lost 20 pounds and needed IVs during her Jelly Roll divorce, detailing the devastating physical toll of her heartbreak.
Christie Brinkley reveals how she keeps all three adult children coming home and why losing both parents deepened her devotion to family time.
Roy Cooper appointed a convicted Bloods gang member to his criminal justice reform task force in 2020, a Washington Free Beacon report reveals.
A Flinders University study links high coffee consumption to lower bone density in postmenopausal women, while tea's catechins may promote bone health.
Satire
U.S. — As news broke that the murder trial of Lindsay Clancy would end in a mistrial, Heaven released a statement reminding everyone that justice is still ultimately in the hands of God.
TUSCALOOSA, AL — After putting on a superb performance in the season opener, young college football star Davis Mack began worrying that he could wind up in the NFL Draft and be forced to take a massive pay cut.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — American voters overwhelmingly passed a federal ballot initiative yesterday ordering the removal of Massachusetts from the United States.
JUDEA — In adherence to the teachings of Jesus, Simon, who is called Peter, was committed to forgiving the neighbor who wronged him up to "seventy times seven" times. Unfortunately, after forgiving him 73 times, Peter reportedly lost count and had to start all over.
BURBANK, CA — Panic swept through Warner Bros. Studios on Tuesday after a senior colorist was terminated for accidentally allowing visible primary colors to remain in a major motion picture.
NEW YORK, NY — Interviews conducted with employees of CBS News revealed that Editor-in-Chief Bari Weiss was facing internal backlash over allegations that she had attempted to commit actual journalism.
NEW YORK, NY — New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly seen standing in front of his bathroom mirror practicing his "sad face" in preparation for his upcoming appearance at the 9/11 memorial.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Friday that he had successfully annexed the Canadian hockey team, the Montreal Canadiens, and would be renaming them the Montreal Americans.
CHICAGO, IL — A fifth-grade teacher at Lincoln Elementary reportedly admonished her classroom on Thursday, asking the kids to please raise their hands to be called on instead of firing pistols into the air.
U.S. — The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity.
EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Sending the publisher scrambling to protect trade secrets related to the hotly anticipated project, leaks from Rockstar Games worsened Friday as hackers released a fully playable copy of Grand Theft Auto IX. “It’s heartbreaking having assets leak out for any of our projects
THE HEAVENS—Scratching His head and rifling through His notes as He tried to recall His reasoning for the decision, The Lord God, Supreme Creator of the Universe, reportedly struggled to remember on Friday why He made so many ugly people. “I could have given everyone on Earth perfect, symmetrica
The CEO of Pabst Brewing Co. put up a $20,000 reward to anyone who could provide information that leads to the recovery of 1,602 missing cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon and non-alcoholic Old Milwaukee beers. What do you think?
The post PBR Offers $20,000 Reward For Lost Beer appeared first on The Onion.
Influencer Alix Earle is the star of Netflix’s newest reality show, Earle Meets World. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the series. Q: Who is Alix Earle? A: Alix is a Gen Z content creator known for eating expired military rations. Q: I thought her name was Alex Cooper. A: Ask yo
Legacy mapping tool MapQuest shot up to become the top navigation app in Apple’s app store after refusing to comply with President Trump’s executive order renaming “Lake Ontario” to “Lake America,” overtaking Google Maps, Waze, and Apple Maps. What do you think?
The post MapQuest Jumps T
The post Gloria Steinem, Researcher Who Discovered Existence Of Women, Dead At 92 appeared first on The Onion.
Country star Ella Langley is breaking records with her hit song “Choosin’ Texas,” which has now topped the Billboard Hot 100 for 20 weeks. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist. Nepotism Connection: Child of God Honors And Accolades: CMA Award For Female Vocalist Of The
From specialized nutrition plans to mental skills work to experimental equipment, the quest to stay healthy and productive now takes NFL athletes far beyond the weight room. Here are some ways players keep themselves fit throughout the season. Mental Skills In recent years, mental preparation has be
HERSHEY, PA—Calling into question the candy brand’s apparent belief that consuming its chocolate-covered caramels constitutes a lively group activity, viewers told reporters Thursday that a new Rolo commercial greatly overestimates the social element of eating Rolos. “Rolo roll call!” a hand
Sports
All the names we've been talking about in a printable cheat sheet for your fantasy football draft.
Keelon Russell accounted for 335 yards and a touchdown as No. 13 Alabama opened the season with a 48-10 victory over East Carolina on Saturday.
Ohio State coach Ryan Day said the top-ranked Buckeyes were already focused on next week's game vs. Texas moments after Saturday's season-opening 56-3 win over Ball State.
No. 9 seed Taylor Fritz blew a two-set lead at the US Open and went out in a shocker with a 3-6, 4-6, 6-3, 6-4, 6-4 loss at the hands of No. 24 Francisco Cerundolo on Saturday.
Cardinals manager Oliver Marmol was ejected from Friday's win shortly after St. Louis rookie reliever Hancel Rincon, who was making his major league debut, was told to straighten his hat.
The Yankees placed center fielder Trent Grisham on the 10-day injured list with a right hamstring strain Saturday.
Bayern Munich failed to score in the Bundesliga for the first time in more than 18 months as they were held to a goalless draw by newly promoted Schalke.
Pat White's record-setting career at West Virginia two decades ago came full circle when the school retired his No. 5 jersey.
Shohei Ohtani, who expressed soreness in his neck and along his right arm in Wednesday's 8-6 loss to the St. Louis Cardinals, is out of the Los Angeles Dodgers' lineup for a third straight game Saturday, but he has not yet been placed on the injured list.
The Oregon Duck remains one of the most memorable mascots in college football.
What are Dabo Swinney's contract details in 2026? Here's everything you need to know about the Clemson head coach's buyout, contract.
Josh Hoover impressed, the defense showed some cracks and Indiana cruised past North Texas. Here are four takeaways from the Hoosiers' opener.
Here's pertinent information about new Indiana Hoosiers quarterback Josh Hoover, who shined in the defending champion's season opener.
Kalshi Promo Code FOXSPORTS Unlocks $25 Bonus for Any College Football Week 1 Game Including Clemson vs. LSU.
Here's everything you need to know about targeting and its new penalty changes.
FanDuel Promo Code: Bet $1, Get $100 on Clemson vs. LSU With This College Football Week 1 Special.
Tech
The Steam Deck is a solid gaming handheld, but after the arrival of several competitors and higher prices, is it still worth picking one up?
Apple Diagnostics is a hidden menu you hopefully won't need to access often. When your Mac gets into hardware trouble, it helps find what's wrong.
Reuters reported earlier this week that the agents hijacked a German wiki forum in an incident OpenAI did not disclose.
There are plenty of durable, versatile rugged laptops on the market, but you'll rarely see one get pulled out at the coffee shop. Why?
Apple's Notify Me feature can update you every time a price drops or a product comes back in stock. Tell it what to do and it'll take care of the rest.
There are almost certainly keys on your keyboard that you never touch. Assign new functions to give them a job.
The Seattle Times and Newsday accused the two AI giants of using their content without permission.
In the case of IMAX, bigger really is better.
You might not think to restart your router as often as you reboot your laptop, but doing so is an easy step to help it perform at its best.
A federal court decided that "Twitter" was off-limits, but tweet and the bird logo were fair game.
I’ve rounded up the best smart speakers that let you talk to Alexa, from the popular Echo Dot to the newest Echo Studio.
Plus: Tens of millions of US and Canadian drivers’ licenses go up for sale on the dark web, the US military finally tries to tackle the risk online ad data poses to troops, and more.
Apple is expected to announce several products at its September event next week—including a folding phone—but the iPhone 18 might not be among them. It would be a first for the company.
The research could do more than help unlock the mystery of caterpillar hearing. It could also help make microphones better.
The main action took place at Geneva Watch Days, but others dialed in remotely to make sure it wasn't just a Swiss party.
The studio released an official catch-up list ahead of December’s release. We have easy links to watch every one of the movies so you can get up to speed.
The Home Depot Labor Day sale goes hard on grills and tools. Here are our recommendations on what to buy—and what to ignore.
In what appears to be a follow-up to the mighty “CasiOak,” the rugged Japanese watch brand is expected to release an all-new luxury homage.
The US government is investigating whether the Cybercab, which lacks a steering wheel and pedals, meets vehicle safety standards.
While philosophers ponder AI consciousness, the models have ideas of their own.
Entertainment
United States Central Command has gone far beyond an eye for an eye ... choosing to inflict even more pain when responding to an attack. CENTCOM released video of an attack on 3 Iranian oil tankers ... which it says was a response to the Islamic…
Blake Griffin and his fiancée, Francesca Aiello, embraced the amore during what looks like their wedding weekend ... living it up with friends. The former NBA star and his better half were spotted locking lips in Porto Ercole, Italy, on Saturday…
Another one of Jeffrey Epstein's alleged victims is finally ready to speak out ... revealing the inner workings of the "cult" he built up. Julia Molchanova spoke to The Wall Street Journal in a wide-ranging interview ... telling the outlet she met…
Deshundre Vinson has been charged with first-degree murder in connection with his 4-year-old nephew’s drowning death ... according to reports. The former "America’s Got Talent" contestant was arrested Wednesday in Tennessee and is also facing…
Phoebe Bridgers wore an outfit not safe for prime-time television, but perfect for the premiere of "Primetime" at the Venice Film Festival ... stunning in a sheer gown that left little to the imagination. The singer-songwriter walked the red carpet…
Diplo says he orchestrated another great escape from Burning Man ... this time claiming he and some pals had to walk 15 miles through the desert to get back to civilization. The DJ shared his trek on social media on Friday ... braving the heat…
Carlos Alcaraz always captures attention while on the court ... but this time his tennis play had nothing to do with the eyes on him -- his hot body did! The 23-year-old Spanish pro took the court in New York City for the third round of the U.S.…
Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani are mourning the loss of their beloved dog, Betty ... who died after 18 years with the family. Gwen shared the heartbreaking news on Instagram Saturday ... writing, "It's with the heaviest hearts that we share our…
Everyone say, "Happy birthday, Chloe Calandra!" The influencer turned 26 today ... so you know we have to celebrate! And since Chloe's blessed up with some fire photos over the years, it only feels right that we honor her big day with a few of our…
Natalie Portman is officially a mom of three ... according to PEOPLE. The actress welcomed her third child ... her first with partner Tanguy Destable, in Paris last month. The newborn joins Portman's two older children, 15-year-old son Aleph and…
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