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US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Skip Bayless' return to ESPN's "First Take" boosted viewership by 24%, raising questions about whether the show needs him back on a regular basis.
VP JD Vance threatens to cut anti-fraud funding to states that don't prosecute Medicaid fraud, singling out California, New York, and Hawaii.
Islanders rookie Matthew Schaefer is the runaway and unanimous winner of the NHL's Calder Trophy after an incredible 59-point debut campaign.
Victor Wembanyama is being called the next GOAT contender as Hall of Famers praise his historic talent and the Spurs push deep into the NBA Playoffs.
Rep. Josh Gottheimer, D-N.J., suggested that The New York Times is on "Hamas' payroll" for publishing a report alleging Israel has trained dogs to rape Palestinian prisoners.
Phillies vs. Red Sox MLB betting picks highlight Boston's first-five-innings edge with Sonny Gray on the mound against struggling Andrew Painter.
A mother was arrested in Florida months after her two toddlers drowned in Texas and were found to have cocaine in their systems, authorities say.
Seattle Mariners catcher Cal Raleigh ended MLB's longest single-season hitless streak since 2011 after an unorthodox superstitious shower ritual.
Toronto's free World Cup-themed condoms feature bold emoji designs and phrases like "block those shots" meant to promote safe sex among fans.
Tennessee angler Darren Nunley landed a record-breaking 15-pound, 7.5-ounce largemouth bass, officially setting a new state record for the catch.
Satire
NEW YORK—In an effort to focus on the incredible array of bathing suits featured in its pages, Sports Illustrated announced Wednesday that it would be removing all the distracting models from the magazine’s swimsuit edition. “It has come to our attention that the buxom women we usually feature
U.S. — The results of a groundbreaking new study appear to show that the reason today's children routinely struggle with mathematics is because they no longer play computer games from the bestselling Math Blaster! franchise.
LOS ANGELES, CA — Mayor Karen Bass struck back at mayoral candidate Spencer Pratt on Wednesday, warning the surviving Angelenos who hadn't been stabbed to death by a hobo that his rhetoric was dangerous.
U.S. — In a move that even some within the entertainment industry are branding as "too far", director Christopher Nolan has cast actor Steve Buscemi as Helen of Troy.
The State Department has begun revoking passports of parents who owe a significant amount in unpaid child support, beginning with those owing $100,000 or more. What do you think?
The post U.S. Revokes Passports Of Parents Who Owe Child Support appeared first on The Onion.
Passengers aboard the cruise ship at the epicenter of a deadly hantavirus outbreak have returned to their home countries, where they will be quarantined and monitored. What do you think?
The post Passengers From Hantavirus-Stricken Cruise Ship Return Home appeared first on The Onion.
NOT SATIRE: My family fled communism — and American media almost turned me INTO a communist.
OGDEN, UT — As the great Khan once stood admiring the vast reaches of his empire, so local man Philip Bauer stood this morning, watching as his freshly-repaired sprinkler no longer watered the driveway.
AKRON, OH — Curtis Whitaker noticed some subtle differences in his wife, Janie. Her face seemed on the verge of a frown as she kept glancing at him, and all her verbal interactions were very short and curt when usually Janie was quite loquacious.
Susan Westbrook, 54, passed away Sunday after not shaking well something she was supposed to shake well.
The post Susan Westbrook appeared first on The Onion.
Look, we all know how most people live their lives these days, so let’s not beat around the bush and pretend you need a nice home for entertaining and shit like that. Reference #538518
The post Great For Streaming TV And Jerking Off appeared first on The Onion.
LANGLEY, VA—In the wake of an operation condemned by critics as a reckless provocation that fails to heed the lessons of history, the Central Intelligence Agency came under fire Friday for arming a group of rowdy 7-year-olds in the town of Heronburg, OH. “Last I checked, the American people wer
The post Stagehand Rushes Out To Bring Bruno Mars Different Pelvis For Slow Song appeared first on The Onion.
While some loons have desperately tried to read Christian themes and symbolism into The Lord of the Rings, the fact is that Tolkien's masterpiece is clearly a pagan work. How do we know? Here are nine obvious signs:
SAN DIEGO, CA — The San Diego Padres organization is reportedly concerned about local sports fan Lonny Philbin for being more invested in the success of the team than even the actual players.
BEIJING — Diplomatic talks between the United States and China reportedly got off to an awkward start after President Donald Trump demanded to negotiate directly with General Tso.
BOSTON—In an effort to entice Giannis Antetokounmpo to join the franchise, the Boston Celtics announced Tuesday that guard Payton Pritchard was now the two-time MVP’s brother. “We understand it would be difficult for Giannis to leave Thanasis and Alex behind in Milwaukee, but we want him to kn
U.S. — Longtime daytime talk show "The View" has announced that next season will feature an all-new cast of angry middle-aged women.
The post Gas Station Price Sign Using Scientific Notation appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
Pep Guardiola and Manchester City are going to make Arsenal earn Premier League trophy.
It's now or never for Minnesota. Plus, highlights from Tuesday's doubleheader and updated stat leaders.
The Avs have doubled their hits per game rate from the regular season. Fellow Stanley Cup contenders should be very concerned.
Our reporters ranked the top 15 contenders for this summer's top prize as they see it.
We're just a month away from the 2026 World Cup! How do all the major contenders -- and the three co-hosts -- look in terms of rosters and starters?
The Cavaliers and Pistons are headed back to Detroit tied 2-2. We broke down the key factors ahead of Game 5.
Jason Collins, who died Tuesday, leaves a remarkable legacy as the NBA's first openly gay active player.
The Dallas Wings rookie received her MBA from UConn this week, and her teammates decided to give her another degree.
Cristiano Ronaldo was left visibly distraught on the Al-Nassr bench after a catastrophic late error from goalkeeper Bento denied the club their first Saudi Pro League title in seven years.
Christian Pulisic is likely to recover from a lower back injury in time for AC Milan’s penultimate Serie A match this weekend.
Though Shohei Ohtani broke out of a hitting funk and ended his home run drought, the Dodgers still plan to give him an offensive reset.
Learn which TV channel or how to live stream the MLS Week 5 Seattle Sounders FC and Los Angeles Galaxy match.
Here's the latest offseason buzz and rumors around the NFL.
Kalshi Promo Code FOXSPORTS Secures $10 Bonus for Game 5 of Cavs-Pistons.
Dabble Promo Code FOX: Get a $10 No Deposit Bonus in Time For Cavs-Pistons Game 5.
PGA Championship Odds: How to Bet on This Week's Major at Aronimink.
Enter the free Super 6 Contest featuring Indy 500 qualifying for a shot to win cash prizes! And don't worry — Bob Pockrass is here to help with your picks
With the 2026 World Cup quickly approaching, First Things First's Kevin Wildes and Nick Wright debate USA's floor and ceiling this summer.
Tech
There are single and dual probe models available.
The plaintiffs and defense have rested their cases, as well as their rear ends.
Advertising has become big business for the streamer.
Instagram’s Instants app lets you send disappearing photos—and it’s probably where your horny friends will post spicy pics.
But doing so could threaten its bottom line.
A Wilhelm one, no less.
The history tab might be the most useful feature X has added in forever.
Devolver promises "both familiar and all-new mechanics."
Researcher Sasha Luccioni argues we need better emissions data and a better sense of how people are using AI in the first place.
Autonomous drones and ground vehicles will stream “battlefield intelligence” over 5G along the US-Canada border in a bilateral DHS experiment this fall.
The venture capital firm has reportedly donated $115.5 million during this election cycle.
The t-shirt in question refers to Dante and "Virgil."
And, brace yourself, Microsoft is also testing a new startup experience.
The bill appears to be gaining new momentum.
In a recent experiment, mistreated AI agents started grumbling about inequality and calling for collective bargaining rights.
In Musk v. Altman, the company claimed a remarkable trophy was physical proof of Elon Musk’s concerning behavior.
Republicans still have the midterms to get through, but administration officials have already set their sights on the next election.
The company says its new Incognito Chat allows you to use its AI chatbot without anyone else—including Meta—being able to access your conversations.
A University of Nebraska lab has developed a test that can detect the virus before symptoms become severe. Now, it's ready to start testing those returning to the US after a cruise outbreak.
Protect your home against dust, pets, allergies, and more with the best air purifiers, tested firsthand.
Entertainment
Fans are freaking out that Latto possibly gave birth ... because some sharp listeners say they can hear "baby sounds" in the background of the pregnant rapper's latest post. On Wednesday, she went on Instagram to apologize for skipping her Win Some…
Kentucky Senator Rand Paul's son has issued an apology after he unloaded on New York Congressman Mike Lawler with an antisemitic and homophobic tirade Tuesday night. William Paul went off on his drunken rant at a D.C. bar ... when he butted into a…
AOC's got some advice for Spencer Pratt in the wake of the revelation he's not living in his now-famous trailer but rather at the swanky Hotel Bel Air -- authenticity rules, so own your story. Charlie got the Bronx-born Congresswoman out on Capitol…
Sommer Ray? She's lookin' more like summer bae in this thong bikini! The influencer-slash-DJ was soaking up some sun in a barely-there bikini that featured a flirty flower on her hip. She shared the steamy shots on social media Tuesday, captioning…
There's a settlement in a wrongful death lawsuit about Aaron Carter ... TMZ has learned. Aaron's ex-fiancée Melanie Martin filed a lawsuit on behalf of their son, Princeton Lyric Carter, back in October 2023 ... claiming Aaron's drowning death was…
Natalia Barulich is taking legal action against a luxury Los Angeles apartment building tied to real estate mogul Rick Caruso, claiming she was lured in by promises of top-tier security and safety ... only to become the victim of a massive,…
Kouri Richins, a Utah mother who wrote a children's book about grief following the death of her husband, was just sentenced to life behind bars without the possibility of parole ... after being convicted of murdering him. Kouri was convicted of…
Layoffs are shaking up the staff at Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop as the company pivots to an A.I. workflow ... according to reports. According to Puck, there were layoffs at GP's wellness brand this week ... and a person familiar with the matter told the…
Cardi B and Stefon Diggs might not be as chummy as they looked over Mother's Day weekend ... because we've obtained video of them engaged in an intense debate in Maryland. The video -- taken Wednesday afternoon outside a coffee shop and a gym in…
Ray J's hurling some wild accusations Kris Jenner's way, saying he "wouldn't put it past" her to order a hit on him ... but sources tell TMZ this is a flat-out lie. On Wednesday's episode of "The Jason Lee Show," Ray J said he's "on alert" that the…