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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
A federal judge blocked the Trump administration's migrant fines of up to $1.8 million, ruling DHS unlawfully imposed civil penalties for ignoring final deportation orders.
Michael King stranded the tying run in the ninth as the San Diego Padres staved off elimination with a 4-3 NLDS Game 3 win over the Brewers.
French Prime Minister Sébastien Lecornu defended the police response after a teen lost his hand and another was blinded amid student protests.
August Hanning, 80, who led Germany's BND from 1998 to 2005, faces espionage and attempted treason charges tied to roughly 2,000 classified documents.
Zion Teasley admitted to killing Lauren Heike, whose body was found with 15 stab wounds along a north Phoenix, Arizona, community trail in 2023.
Mason Miller lands on MLB's paternity list before a win-or-go-home Game 3, leaving the Padres without their top reliever in an elimination game.
Justin Ellis scored the lone goal as the United States beat Canada 1-0, capping an undefeated friendly stretch under Mauricio Pochettino.
The U.S. military in Okinawa banned troops from leaving base after a Marine was arrested for allegedly killing a woman at a Naha hotel on Saturday.
Debra Messing explains why affordability, public safety, and congestion pricing concerns led her to back Republican Bruce Blakeman for governor.
Bruce Arians shared his prostate cancer survival story during the NFL's "Crucial Catch" week, urging men to get a simple PSA blood test every year.
Satire
LOS ANGELES, CA — Singer-actress Ariana Grande was excited to make some extra money this fall as she landed the role of a lifetime as a Halloween lawn skeleton, sources confirmed.
MESOPOTAMIA — Having sown his proverbial wild oats, Noah decided that, having turned 500 years old, it was finally time to settle down and start having kids.
Disgraced former House Speaker Dennis Hastert has died at 84, the Republican having once been imprisoned for a hush money scheme intended to cover up his repeated molestation of teen athletes. What do you think?
The post Dennis Hastert Dies appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK—Urging incoming players to avoid the financial pitfalls that have derailed so many promising careers, the NBA reportedly reminded rookies Tuesday not to blow their first paycheck on a big-ass snake. “The first time you see all those zeroes in your bank account, you’re going to be temp
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ — New York Giants quarterback Jameis Winston was placed in the NFL's concussion protocol by team trainers after he gave a coherent answer during an after-practice interview.
The Pentagon officially approved execution by firing squad for the Fort Hood shooter, but that's not the only crime the military is seeking the death penalty for these days.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump approved the execution of Nidal Malik Hasand on Monday, confirming that he would be tied to a bomb and dropped on the country of Iran.
PARIS — At long last, the Palestinian people finally have a land to truly call their own.
Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and MAHA influencers have promoted the use of peptides, short-chain amino acids with a range of purported but often unsubstantiated health benefits. The Onion examines the pros and cons of these supplements. PRO Have met same rigorous safety standards as Kranke
WASHINGTON—In an effort to get ahead of the forthcoming criticisms of how they squandered such a commanding lead in the polls, the Democratic National Committee released a preemptive autopsy Tuesday into why their party lost the 2026 midterm elections. “Upon careful analysis, it’s clear our or
WASHINGTON—Faced with a weekend of dismal ticket sales that ranked among the worst in the megastar’s career, a smiling, unblinking Tom Cruise calmly stated Monday that he just wanted to know why the nation didn’t turn out to see his new movie Digger. “Relax, I’m not gonna fly off the hand
DARLINGTON, OH—In an obvious attempt to appeal to the county’s different demographic, U.S. House of Representatives candidate Jim Richardson reportedly showed up Monday to a campaign event in a rural part of Ohio’s 12 Congressional District with a different wife. “It’s natural for a candi
WASHINGTON—During an address to the nation Tuesday in which he claimed to have obtained definitive proof that the election was stolen, President Donald Trump presented bombshell evidence showing his opponent Joe Biden actively campaigned against him throughout the 2020 presidential race. Trump, wh
INDIANAPOLIS—As he maintained steady eye contact and periodically murmured, “Yeah, man,” ESPN host Pat McAfee could be seen nodding along Tuesday during a broadcast of his talk show in which Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Aaron Rodgers delivered a two-hour monologue extolling the health benef
Trump has directed his administration to build a triumphal arch in Washington, D.C., to commemorate the nation’s 250th anniversary. The Onion looks at the key facts and figures behind the new monument. 4 Barrons tall at highest point 17 Engraved typos 1 Additional arch needed to make McDonald’s
Sports
Lionel Messi marked his 208th and final game for Argentina with his 126th goal as his country bid an emotional farewell to the global icon.
Paris Saint-Germain are monitoring Manchester City attacking midfielder Rayan Cherki. Transfer Talk has the latest.
Discover the best college football betting sites in 2026. Compare top sportsbooks, welcome bonuses, live betting options, and futures odds for NCAA football.
Can Justin Verlander and David Ortiz remember the biggest moments of their careers?
Members of the EuroLeague rejected a formal offer from the NBA this week to merge and create a single NBA Europe operation, sources told ESPN.
Eagles two-time All-Pro right tackle Lane Johnson announced his retirement Tuesday, ending a 14-year career spent entirely in Philadelphia.
Ever since the NHL's all-time goals leader announced his retirement, ticket prices to Capitals games have been soaring -- and not just for home games.
Tyrese Haliburton purchased tickets for the student section at his alma mater Iowa State for the Pacers' first preseason game Wednesday.
Yoshinobu Yamamoto dominated the much-anticipated matchup with Atlanta ace Chris Sale, and Kiké Hernández hit a two-run homer as the Dodgers beat the Braves 3-1 to take a 2-1 lead in the NLDS.
Jake Cronenworth hit a tiebreaking homer, Game 1 starter Michael King pitched the final two innings and the Padres avoided playoff elimination with a 4-3 victory over the Brewers in Game 3 of their NL Division Series on Tuesday night.
The United States capped its September/October international window with a scrappy 1-0 win over Canada in St. Paul, Minnesota, on Tuesday night.
Tyreek Hill's wife recounted details of assault and verbal abuse during testimony Tuesday on the first day of a civil assault and battery trial in Florida, proceedings that began a day after ESPN reported Hill would potentially sign an NFL contract soon.
With their season on the brink of ending, the Padres refused to go down quietly.
The Dodgers took control of their NL Division Series on Tuesday night, and the Padres ensured they'll have one more game.
Lionel Messi turns his official farewell match for Argentina into a gala performance, scoring one last time.
Freddie Freeman was caught off-guard by being interviewed by Justin Verlander and in turn praised the future Hall-of-Famer.
USA 1-0 Canada: 4 Takeaways
Here are four takeaways from the Dodgers’ 3-1 Game 3 win over the Braves.
The Dodgers are on a quest for a three-peat. Check out the NLDS series odds.
Polymarket Wisconsin Promo Code FOX: Get a $25 Bonus for Brewers vs .Padres.
Tech
Amazon Prime Big Deal Days are here, and we’ve tracked down the best discounts on all the gear our team recommends.
Prime Day deals on Amazon devices aren’t as attractive as they were before the August price hike, but these discounts are still worth grabbing.
Amazon raised Kindle prices across the board, but Prime Day is still the best time to buy.
Never pay full price. Bag yourself some Prime Day tech deals on our favorite WIRED-tested gadgets.
Following a viral rebrand and two years without selling a new vehicle, the British marque takes the covers off the most divisive electric car yet seen.
Spam calls don't have to grab your attention and waste your time. Use these built-in options to silence and block them without having to pay.
The death of a lab worker in Russia has authorities looking at whether plague played a role. Even if it did, though, the odds of it spreading are very low.
Dual Ethernet ports don't automatically provide faster speed, but they increase your networking options.
The doorbell, security cameras, thermostats and more could be announced next week.
Of course you're going to get the one that works with your ereader, but which of these page-turning gadgets is actually better?
If you use Android Auto, you can try out the beta mapping service today.
Digital wall calendars can organize multiple family calendars, meal plans, chores, and to-do lists, and even double as a digital photo frame. And best of all, they’re on sale.
Want to save money without supporting Amazon? This roundup is full of deals on WIRED-approved favorites.
My favorite MacBook, gaming PC, and budget laptop are all on sale for Prime Day, some at the lowest prices I’ve seen in months.
Our team is tracking Prime Day deals in real time. Here’s what’s worth buying today.
With some processing caveats of course.
Please don't name it ParaMax.
We compare Google's Photos and Gallery apps, so you can decide which one to use.
The attackers sent a push notification to Asos shoppers announcing their activity.
Time and spikes take a toll on a surge protector, even with no visible signs of damage.
Entertainment
The woman in the infamous sex tape with Kevin Hart could be dragged into one of the comedian's ongoing court battles ... TMZ has learned. According to court docs, obtained by TMZ, the entertainer's former assistant, Miesha Shakes, wants Montia…
Chix On Netflix is comin' in hot this week with a gorgeous gal from New York City. Can you guess who she is based on these clues? "Mayfair Witches," "The Choice," and "Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters" are a few of her notable works that have been on…
On Wednesdays we wear pink ... and celebrate "Mean Girls" season! Actress and comedian Jan Caruana is widely known for playing Emma in the popular 2004 teen film with Hollywood icons -- Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams, Tina Fey, Amanda Seyfried and…
The attorney for the woman accusing seven former Cornell University Chi Phis members of gang rape claims the fraternity held meetings to cover up the alleged assault. Jane Doe's attorney, Thomas Giuffra, told CNN's Anderson Cooper Tuesday the…
One of Patty Hearst's kidnappers, Bill Harris, has died. Harris passed away September 10 in San Francisco ... according to The New York Times. Harris became infamous in 1974 as a top lieutenant of the Symbionese Liberation Army, a radical left wing…
Trippie Redd had his South Florida property searched by police ... TMZ has learned. A Davie Police Department spokesperson tells TMZ ... officers were on scene assisting in serving a search warrant at the rapper's property Tuesday. It's unclear…
Porn star LuLu LoveBottom died by suicide ... TMZ has learned. According to his death certificate, obtained by TMZ, LoveBottom, whose real name was Lucas Edward Drake, died September 7 at his Los Angeles home. The document lists the manner of death…
Jayson Williams' estranged wife, Tanya Young Williams, claims the former NBA All-Star owes hundreds of thousands of dollars in unpaid child support ... TMZ has learned. Tanya filed for divorce Monday in New York after 17 years of legal limbo,…
Three of Nolan Wells' friends are suing a TikTok creator who allegedly branded them killers. According to court docs obtained by TMZ, Warren Hudson, Jax Pitalo and Morgan Seymour filed a defamation lawsuit Tuesday in Mississippi against Sandra L.…
One of Andrew Tate's accusers claims she was forced to perform a sex act on a bed knob for an hour ... while working at his alleged webcam operation in Romania. According to court docs, obtained by TMZ, the woman says Andrew convinced her to move…
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