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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Los Angeles schools could close as they face a potential strike Tuesday, with three unions representing 70,000 employees demanding higher pay.
Montana Sen. Tim Sheehy made an emergency landing in a field Friday after his plane experienced a mechanical engine failure during routine training.
Eric Swalwell is facing calls to drop out of his gubernatorial race, and his longtime supporters are backing away amid allegations from accusers claiming he sexually harassed them.
Ex-New York Jets quarterback Browning Nagle, best known for his epic 1991 Fiesta Bowl performance for Louisville, has died at the age of 57 of colon cancer.
Photos of Patriots coach Mike Vrabel and Athletic reporter Dianna Russini at an Arizona resort sparked an internal investigation and national debate.
Four Artemis II astronauts completed a historic 10-day mission around the moon, splashing down off the coast of San Diego Friday evening.
A viral Reddit post claims that parents left three rowdy, unsupervised children in coach on a United Airlines flight while the adults reportedly relaxed in first class.
Ex-Washington Post journalist Thomas LeGro pleaded guilty to one count of child pornography possession, according to an announcement from the office of U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro.
Comedian Tim Dillon critiqued Meghan Markle's post-royal reinvention, saying her lifestyle brand push and Netflix show felt condescending to viewers.
Tennessee county school board member Keith Ervin was censured after telling a student "God, you're hot" at a meeting, and he later apologized.
Satire
ANAHEIM, CA — During Thursday night's hockey game between the San Jose Sharks and Anaheim Ducks, one lucky fan reportedly created a lifelong memory when he caught a foul tooth.
A new study revealed that sharks in the Bahamas tested positive for cocaine, caffeine, painkillers, and other substances, with such contaminants increasingly found in tourism-driven marine environments. What do you think?
The post Cocaine, Caffeine Detected In Sharks appeared first on The Onion.
WORLD — In a historic ecumenical breakthrough, devout Roman Catholics finally found common ground with Protestants in ignoring what the pope says most of the time.
LOS ANGELES, CA — Former Vice President Kamala Harris revealed on Friday that she is seriously thinking about losing again in 2028.
The post Melania Trump: ‘Never Once In My 4,000 Years Have I Been To Epstein Island’ appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—In an effort to refute what she described as utterly vile attacks on her character, Melania Trump slammed baseless reports this week that linked her to the wrong wealthy pedophile. “Let me clear: While I have deep ties to a certain affluent individual and secret societies involved in
CHARLOTTE, NC — Advertisements popped up all across the city this week for a local speakeasy, The Hush Room, modeled as a completely discreet and hidden Prohibition-era bar that no one knows about.
SAN ANSELMO, CA—Feeling surprised and delighted by his former employee’s success, Star Wars creator George Lucas reportedly called Darth Maul on Friday to congratulate the Sith Lord on his new Disney+ series. “Hey man, I know it’s been a while since we talked, but I just wanted to say I sa
NEW YORK—Saying that it was truly sinking in that he had finally made it to the big leagues, New York Mets rookie Carson Benge told reporters Friday he still couldn’t believe the sunflower seeds in the dugout were free. “It’s honestly insane—you can just take them. As many as you want. Nob
LAKE JACKSON, TX — After nearly nine days without a fully functioning toilet, the crew of NASA's Artemis II mission changed course from splashing down off the coast of California and instead headed straight for a Buc-ee's.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the nation concerned about becoming involved in another never-ending conflict, President Trump assured Americans that U.S. troops would only remain deployed until the Middle East was at peace.
More artists are banning phones at their shows. The Onion examines the pros and cons of phone-free concerts. PRO Phone finally gets some alone time Get to give full attention to jumbotron screen Brings back thousands of professional bootlegger jobs Plenty of other ways to make not-invited friend
INDIO, CA—Stressing that they had to act quickly before the situation further deteriorated, medical staff working the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival reportedly rushed overly lucid 23-year-old Zach Hillman into an emergency psychedelics tent Friday. “Thank God for the good Samaritans wh
WASHINGTON—In a surprising collective announcement that left the American public hugging and crying tears of joy, the nation’s women declared Wednesday that they were pregnant, confirming en masse that “it’s yours.” “Our little blessing is due in October,” the chorus of approximately
Gideon Spencer, 77, died Monday. The family requests privacy while they fight over his stuff.
The post Gideon Spencer appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK—BTS appeared Thursday in an unconventionally tense episode of the YouTube series Hot Wings during which host Sean Evans was reportedly forced to beg members of the boy band to stop dancing and “just try the damn wings.” “Boys, please!” said Evans, raising his voice and clapping hi
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — The San Francisco Giants unveiled their new City Connect jerseys today with a nod to the feces makes the city so unique.
If you haven't heard, Canada has officially dropped a new acronym for the LGBT movement with many, many new additions. The LGBT community in Canada is now:
JERUSALEM — After definitively declaring that he would not believe in Jesus' resurrection unless he saw and touched him, the Apostle Thomas was completely humiliated to learn that Jesus was right behind him the whole time.
ISLAMABAD — Amid ongoing reports that Iran had broken an expected two-week ceasefire by failing to sufficiently reopen the Strait of Hormuz, threatening to target vessels who who seek to travel the waters without first coordinating with their armed forces, and firing missiles at five different cou
Sports
One year after winning his first Masters, McIlroy has a record 6-shot lead and has 36 more holes to add.
Are the Lakers toast? Is the Spurs' 3-point prowess real? We canvass the league on six storylines that could define the postseason.
Dean Oliver uses ESPN Analytics' Net Points metric to wrap up the season by handing out awards.
Dive into how women's professional wrestling has evolved on WWE's biggest stage over the past 40 years.
Before Reigns challenges CM Punk at WrestleMania 42, we look back at his prior main event matches.
Surrounded by All-Stars, a 27-year-old in just his second full season is making his mark in the Bronx.
Teams with championship hopes fall down our list while unexpected contenders have made surprise starts.
Here's how the teams stack up with less than a week to go in 2025-26 -- plus a look ahead to the offseason signing period.
The Great 8's contract is up after this season, but he sure isn't playing as someone on the edge of retirement.
We're handing out report cards on big moves, including the Raiders' Kirk Cousins deal and the Eagles' Dontayvion Wicks trade.
Valentín Castellanos and Konstantinos Mavropanos have scored twice each and West Ham has hammered Wolves 4-0 to bolster its hopes of Premier League survival
Here's the latest offseason buzz and rumors around the NFL.
Sammy P did some digging to figure out where some of the sharpest minds are putting their money in NFL futures.
Here are all the latest signings, trades and releases around the NFL.
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The Philadelphia Eagles have reportedly acquired wide receiver Dontayvion Wicks from the Green Bay Packers and extended him.
A statue was unveiled of Hall of Famer Ichiro Suzuki at the Seattle Mariners' T-Mobile Park - but it broke.
Here are the notable college basketball players who have declared for the 2026 NBA Draft.
Tech
After traveling a greater distance from Earth than any humans before them, the astronauts of Artemis II have safely returned home.
Besides a wealth of Fortnite skins based on Disney IP, it hasn't really been clear what the entertainment company has gotten in return for its $1.5 billion investment in Epic from 2024. That could change this November, Bloomberg reports, when Epic releases a Disney-themed extraction shooter. The gam
Sick! The Federal Aviation Administration is targeting gamers in its most recent job advertisement for air traffic controllers. The administration's annual hiring window opens at 12AM ET on April 17, and considering the ongoing shortage of air traffic controllers, it's calling this a period of "supe
A 20-year-old man was arrested by the San Francisco Police Department after allegedly throwing a Molotov cocktail at OpenAI CEO Sam Altman's house, The New York Times reports.In a statement shared on X, SFPD wrote that it responded to a request for a fire investigation in the North Beach neighborhoo
As child social media bans spread across Europe and beyond, Estonia isn't having it. On Friday, the country's education minister said the bans won't "actually solve problems," while warning that the kids will find a way regardless.Although companies like Meta would love for you to believe it’s a f
Home Depot's spring sale offers deals on some of WIRED's favorite grills, plus "buy one get one free" deals on tools from Ryobi, DeWalt, and Milwaukee.
Whoop, the makers of a screen-free fitness tracker of the same name, could soon have some competition. Fitbit teased its take on a Whoop-style band with the help of Steph Curry at the end of March, and based on a trademark filing spotted by Gadgets & Wearables, Garmin appears to be working on it
Amazon has the Razr Ultra marked down by $600 for a limited time.
The new AI model is being heralded—and feared—as a hacker’s superweapon. Experts say its arrival is a wake-up call for developers who have long made security an afterthought.
Entire space programs have been canceled after a failure in the reentry phase. In the final test for Artemis II, astronauts will travel at 32 times the speed of sound as they return from the moon.
Amazon is ending support for third-party integrations on its Luna cloud gaming service. The most immediate changes mean that it's no longer possible to buy Ubisoft+ and Jackbox Games subscriptions or standalone games through Luna. Amazon will automatically any cancel active subscriptions bought thr
America's Big Tech companies may soon learn that saddling up with Donald Trump doesn't tend to work out in the end. As the president sows chaos and distrust around the globe while taking aim at EU tech regulations, Europe is looking for ways to adopt its own alternatives. The latest example is Franc
Google has announced that end-to-end encryption (E2EE) for Gmail on Android and iOS is now rolling out for its enterprise users. Emails that require E2EE in Workspace can be composed and read within the Gmail app, so eligible users won’t need additional apps or portals.
The new feature expands Goo
An attacker allegedly threw a molotov cocktail at the OpenAI CEO’s residence before making threats outside of the startup’s headquarters.
In this episode, the hosts discuss the fight between OpenAI and Elon Musk, the misuse of voter data, and Artemis II’s moonshot.
Škoda's DuoBell is designed to avoid collisions between cyclists and pedestrians preoccupied by their podcasts.
Google News has begun showing Polymarket bets and odds alongside actual stories, according to a report by Futurism. These look to appear as large blocks that include links to numerous ways for people to lose their money.
Bets tend to appear in the "For you" section of Google News, which is supposed
Onix is launching a “Substack of bots,” where digital twins of health and wellness influencers dispense advice 24/7. And maybe hawk their products.
After its history-making trip around the Moon, NASA's Artemis II mission is set to return to Earth later today. The Orion spacecraft carrying astronauts Reid Wiseman, Christina Koch, Victor Glover and Jeremy Hansen is scheduled to splash down off the coast of San Diego at approximately 8:07PM ET. NA
Aventon’s latest electric mountain bike lets you bomb hills while avoiding the part where you get sweaty by pedaling back to the top.
Entertainment
Eric Swalwell's campaign for governor looks like it's on life support ... top Democrats are calling on him to drop out of the race as his campaign reportedly "implodes." The congressman had gathered a ton of support from his fellow Dems in Congress…
"Love & Hip Hop: Miami" star Nadia Beddini ain't happy Michael Blackson labeled her as his "side chick" last year ... arguing they were fully in a relationship -- Nick Cannon-style! ICYMI ... a pregnant Nadia joined Michael on 'Love and Hip…
Grab your lassos, rock your coolest cowboy hat, and throw on your boots -- Hollywood's 'bout to whip y'all into shape serving all the fashion at Coachella! Sexy stars like Alix Earle, Valentine Ferrer and Chloe Veitch saddled up in desert-ready…
Jason Oppenheim says he's not sold on driving another Rolls-Royce down Sunset ... he's considering something more low-key after his last one was stolen. We caught up with the reality star and real estate mogul outside the Selling Sunset office on…
Rapper iHeartMemphis is back in the slammer ... this time he's been accused of burglary and fleeing from the cops! The troubled rapper -- real name Richard Maurice Colbert -- was booked on Feb. 18 ... just days after he was let out of the clink for…
A former staffer for Eric Swalwell told CNN the congressman raped her back in 2024. CNN ran the interview Friday afternoon ... hiding the woman's face to protect her anonymity while she told a story about meeting up with Swalwell for a drink in…
Dianna Russini has been put on ice ... her employer, The Athletic, is doing a deep dive into the cozy pics of Mike Vrabel and the reporter, TMZ Sports has confirmed. It's an about-face for the NY Times-owned outlet, which initially vehemently came…
Cardi B is asking for the judge to order sanctions against blogger Tasha K for allegedly violating a non-disclosure agreement by speaking about her exes, Offset and Stefon Diggs … TMZ has learned. According to court docs, obtained by TMZ, Cardi…
Controversial "Summer House" star West Wilson is planning on showing face at the show's upcoming reunion ... despite his recent backlash, TMZ has learned. Sources tell TMZ … West will be in attendance for the taping -- which is set to be filmed…
Ice Spice totally wigged out when she refused to ante up $20,000 for more than two dozen custom wigs she ordered from a company -- at least according to a lawsuit from the wig company -- and now the rapper is now facing a deposition in the case.…
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