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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Trump called the Iran conflict a "soft war" on "Hannity" just hours after the United States struck Iran's Qeshm Island in the Strait of Hormuz.
A child in Lewis County marks New York's first measles-associated death in over 30 years as Gov. Kathy Hochul urges people to get their vaccinations.
Milwaukee Brewers star Christian Yelich says team togetherness fueled their World Series run, from sweeping the Dodgers to beating Tampa Bay.
The Associated Press Top 25 poll gives the SEC special treatment, ranking Florida and South Carolina despite three losses each already this season.
Angel Reese announced a six-month break from her "Unapologetically Angel" podcast after the Atlanta Dream fell to the Golden State Valkyries.
A former West Point cadet who admitted to secretly giving his pregnant girlfriend Xanax and abortion pills, causing her to miscarry, is now facing a lawsuit over the incident.
VP JD Vance says Haley Stevens' endorsement of Mike Rogers over Abdul El-Sayed will give certain Michigan voters "permission" to back the GOP candidate.
Brandon Aiyuk hired Drew Rosenhaus to salvage his NFL career after voided guarantees, an arrest warrant, and two full seasons away from football.
John Cena revealed the John Cena Classic will take place at Walt Disney World on Dec. 14 and named Cody Rhodes as the event's first invitee.
Voters in Arizona, Nebraska, Washington and Colorado face Tuesday ballot measures on transgender athletes in girls sports and locker room policies.
Satire
Californians have been voting blue for years and at some point you just have to ask yourself, "Why?" Our intrepid man on the street interviewed Californians from all over the state to get to the truth — and their answers may surprise you!
U.S. — According to sources, decades of progress made by various recycling programs across the country have been undone in the span of a month by a single midterm election after multiple homes were spotted with dozens of non-reusable political signs that would soon end up in a garbage landfill.
AUSTIN, TX — Bored of having a good state that people love, Texans have reportedly flocked to the polls in record numbers to try voting Democrat for a change.
ANN ARBOR, MI — While in obvious possession of a superior argument and bearing full knowledge of the issues at hand, a liberal committed a felony assault.
DETROIT—As she warned that time was rapidly running out for candidates in her party to do the right thing, Rep. Haley Stevens (D-MI) threatened this week to endorse a Republican every hour until her demands were met. “It’s almost 1 p.m., which means my fellow Democrats have just a few more min
DALLAS, TX — Local Democrat Jeannie Donaldson has sadly begun to run low on clothing space to place more "I Voted" stickers.
With the recent explosion of sportsbooks and prediction markets, interest in gambling on sports has never been higher. The Onion looks at the figures behind the boom in sports betting. $140,000 Parlay winnings if the basketball catches fire, then it rains inside, then the wet basketball is slam dunk
Attention, Republicans: This is your friendly reminder to start working to bring prices down before the midterm elections are upon us.
DENVER, CO — In what experts described as a monumental gaffe for the National Football League, the crew of officials assigned to the Denver-Kansas City game completely forgot to rig the game for the Chiefs.
The Milwaukee Brewers clinched the World Series title over the Tampa Bay Rays in five games, marking the first championship in the franchise’s 57-year history. What do you think?
The post Milwaukee Brewers Win First World Series appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Revealing that the practice has surpassed quietly spinning the open cylinder of a revolver, a new poll published Monday found that more Americans were putting out cigarettes on their arm to reclaim a sense of control. “Our most recent survey indicates that almost one-third of U.S. res
Even after 250 years of government of the people, by the people, and for the people, democracy remains a hotly contested topic worldwide. The Onion examines the pros and cons of self-governance. PRO Still has alluringly exotic hint of Greece to it Just 30 minutes of voting burns 600 calories Any for
On this, the momentous anniversary of our nation’s founding, I wish to devote a few words to the pivotal juncture at which our great republic now stands. Decisions made today will determine what kind of country your children inherit tomorrow. We must be willing to pay any price, bear any burden, a
WASHINGTON—In a move he claimed was essential to maintaining domestic security, President Donald Trump formally designated poll watchers as the seventh branch of the U.S. military this week. “I am hereby authorizing the formation of America’s newest and deadliest military branch: the U.S. Pol
HAMDEN, CT—Suggesting the act raises serious questions among voters about a politician’s respect for the average citizen’s privacy, a poll out Monday from Quinnipiac University found that Americans are more likely to vote for candidates who haven’t barged in on them in a bathroom stall. “A
The post Rich Family Giving Out King-Sized Mattresses appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
The Cardinals and Lions' second-half successes highlight the best plays from NFL Week 8.
The Bears made a statement with a win on the road against the reigning-champion Seahawks. Here are our takeaways.
This week's odds and FPI predictions for Notre Dame-Miami, Utah-BYU and every top 25 matchup.
Which Week 9 lines offered immediate value once odds came out? Here are the early bets we like.
Week 8 brought an interesting debate over which QB performance was better between Joe Burrow and Trevor Lawrence.
Do we have new teams to beat in the AFC and NFC after Week 8? The Bears certainly made their case in the NFC as we determine that in this week's power rankings.
NFL Week 8 highs and lows: Christian Watson’s dramatic return, Lamar Jackson’s sudden exit, Denver’s big stand and Indy’s collapse.
The Bears are surging up the Super Bowl oddsboard after a statement win in Seattle. See the latest odds after Week 8.
With 11 players on the sideline Monday, the Pacers had just six log minutes in their 108-104 loss to the Hawks.
Following big wins and tough losses, we take a look at how the Top 25 changed after Week 9.
JuJu Watkins spent last season supporting her USC teammates while working toward her own return. Monday, they finally got to celebrate with her on the court.
Nebraska coach Matt Rhule vouched for his program and urged calm after a fan cursed at his daughter following the Huskers' loss to Washington on Saturday in Lincoln.
Brewers ace Jacob Misiorowski is among four members of the World Series champions who are finalists for baseball's biggest individual awards.
Michael Wilbon, the longtime ESPN commentator and co-host of "Pardon the Interruption," is taking a leave of absence to address health issues.
The Cardinals named Gardner Minshew as the team's new starting QB while moving Jacoby Brissett below rookie Carson Beck on the depth chart.
Shai Gilgeous-Alexander scored a season-high 43 points and made a go-ahead 3-pointer with 32.6 seconds remaining as the Oklahoma City Thunder defeated the Cleveland Cavaliers 117-112 on Monday night at Rocket Arena in the first of a two-game set.
Barcelona vs. Aston Villa is a meeting of two cultures blended with a fervent appreciation of how football should be played.
Jaguar's star defensive end DaVon Hamilton suffered a torn quad after defeating the Colts 42-7, and is reportedly out for the season.
Green Bay coach Matt LaFleur says the Packers plan to keep Josh Jacobs on their roster following the news of previous allegations against the three-time Pro Bowl running back
Tech
Everything about this latest collectible Android phone is designed to evoke the popular franchise, from its magical packaging to its themed accessories.
Using a random USB charger can be unsafe, even though the risk is minimal. Thankfully, you have ways to protect your devices.
Sometimes your iPhone lets you decline a call and sometimes it doesn't. Here's why that happens, and a few easy ways to handle the calls you'd rather skip.
Power strips are lifesavers when you don't have enough outlets to power all of your electronics and some also offer protection from power surges.
With Democrats poised to make significant gains in Tuesday’s midterm elections, Trump supporters have been reduced to posting bizarre Star Wars fan fiction.
With the aid of a quick picture, you can use your phone's camera to translate pretty much any text while you're traveling across the globe.
Whether you need a phone case, magnetic ring, Apple Watch band, or power bank, now’s a great time to save $25 on orders over $50.
Black Friday is still weeks away, but you don’t have to wait for a good sale on Dyson vacuums.
Thanks to shortages of microchips and other computer components, we've been experiencing high prices for years.
Casio's new Feel Sync technology helps keep new players in tune.
Impress your Thanksgiving guests with a cappuccino. These early deals on WIRED-tested favorites leave you time to practice.
Learn why your Apple AirPods are making a noise - and how to turn the sound off.
Snap CEO Evan Spiegel was due to testify in the upcoming trial.
AI agents can be a great tool to help make purchases for you online - but it can become a frustrating problem if the website you're using blocks their access.
The influential Center for Renewing America says that “neo-Marxist progressives and anti-Western Muslims” can’t sincerely swear to protect the Constitution—and shouldn’t be allowed to assume office.
The Capytistas, a secretive group claiming more than $1.2 million in backing, started with Elon Musk and Tesla’s board. Members argue that those who buy political power deserve the scrutiny they’ll impose.
The first Wi-Fi 8 router has arrived. This quad-band gaming beast from Asus is fabulously fast and feature-packed.
So far, Department of Justice–led efforts to sow chaos, even as Americans are already voting, have fallen flat.
These gorgeous, renter-friendly storage lockers are hardly ever discounted.
I tested Birdbuddy’s Nook and Birdfy’s Rookie in my backyard. Saving money comes with compromises, but some are easier to live with.
Entertainment
Adam Robinson, the tech entrepreneur killed alongside his wife and two young children in a horrific Florida plane crash, was telling a friend just how well life was going days before the tragedy ... TMZ has learned. Jesse Ouellette, a friend of…
Melissa McCarthy hopes her upcoming JonBenét Ramsey miniseries does more than just captivate true crime buffs. We caught up with the acclaimed actress at LAX on Monday, where she tells us she hopes "The Murder of JonBenét Ramsey" sparks new…
Hila Klein has filed for divorce from Ethan Klein after 14 years of marriage in the wake of his alleged cheating ... TMZ has learned. In the docs, Hila lists the date of marriage as October 10, 2012, and the date of separation as October 13, 2026.…
Justin Timberlake is gearing up to revisit some of the biggest controversies of his career ... including his infamous Super Bowl performance with Janet Jackson and his past relationship with Britney Spears. According to Variety, Justin is set to…
Terrance Banks -- the man accused of killing 15 dogs in Florida -- seemed ready to go to jail when cops arrived the day he was arrested ... spinning around and putting his hands behind his back with no direction from officers. Body cam footage from…
A former Ohio State University professor has been sentenced to life in prison after admitting he stabbed his wife to death in a shocking murder he claims was triggered by an online sextortion scheme. 77-year-old James Hill, a retired Ohio State…
The Florida plane crash victims were headed to the Bahamas to celebrate Adam Robinson's birthday when their trip took a tragic turn ... TMZ has learned. Sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ ... Adam, his wife Helen Sharp, and their two young…
The company Disney star Erik von Detten worked for when he allegedly played an "instrumental" role in finding customers to buy gold says it owes over $60 million to creditors ... TMZ learned. According to court docs obtained by TMZ, Rosland…
Brad Pitt has officially been dropped from another one of his kids' names ... his 18-year-old daughter Vivienne has legally ditched her famous father's surname ... TMZ has confirmed. A Los Angeles judge approved Vivienne's petition Monday, changing…
Kai Trump and University of Miami kicker Jake Weinberg have sparked dating rumors ... but TMZ has learned there's no romance between the two. A rep for President Donald Trump's granddaughter tells TMZ ... Kai and Jake are just friends and they are…
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