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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Dr. Alan Greenspan, who passed away at 100, transformed the Fed's power and monetary policy approach during his five terms as chairman from 1987 to 2006.
A Chicago priest told Trump to shut up after his Truth Social post about Juneteenth weekend violence that left six dead and over 30 wounded.
Sarah Shahi reveals her kiss with James Gandolfini was one of the best she's ever had, recalling their steamy Sopranos scene on a recent podcast.
The Senate advanced the 21st Century Road to Housing Act, a Trump-backed package aimed at preventing the U.S. from becoming a "nation of renters."
"Take Me Home, Country Roads" became the USMNT's viral World Cup anthem, and its origin story involved FIFA asking teams for playlists and a U.S. Soccer executive made the call.
A Brooklyn coffee shop criticized Rep. Dan Goldman after he bought coffee there, saying it would have turned him away as a "genocide enabler."
Country singer Bailey Zimmerman faces a felony criminal damage charge in New Mexico after allegedly trashing a hotel room causing $16,000 in damages.
VP JD Vance defends fragile Iran MOU in Switzerland as reports suggest internal administration split over whether Tehran can be trusted on nuclear deal.
Fox News Poll finds voters prioritize protecting public health over lowering food prices by a 16-point margin, with broad bipartisan MAHA support.
Sen. Susan Collins calls Democratic challenger Graham Platner the "antithesis" of her steady leadership amid his scandals in closely watched Maine race.
Satire
NEW YORK, NY — MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred, reportedly infuriated by news of ball players defiling their pride hats with Bible verses, has ordered anyone who refuses to bow to the pride flag be cast into the fiery furnace.
WASHINGTON—Patting themselves on the back for seeing a film that was neither a sequel nor a prequel, the U.S. populace announced Wednesday that they were proud of themselves for watching and enjoying an original movie. “Learning the names of characters I’d never heard of before wasn’t easy,
IRAN — In a sign of total and absolute victory, President Trump announced that he had secured the reopening of the vital Strait of Hormuz, which was open before the war that Trump started in Iran.
CHICAGO, IL — In a bid to capture vintage nostalgia, McDonald's has announced the return of its true, original-recipe apple pies. The company confirmed the legendary dessert will once again feature the secret ingredient from its initial nineteenth-century inspiration: cocaine.
WORLD — Citizens across the globe breathed a collective sigh of relief after learning that the government of Iran has promised to be good from here on out as part of the peace deal negotiated by President Donald Trump.
Vacation Bible School season is upon us once again, and you may have noticed that every denomination has its own special twist on how to engage elementary-age kiddos. The Babylon Bee has surveyed the country, and here are the most popular VBS themes for each denomination:
EVIAN, FRANCE — Years after wandering away from a G7 summit, a confused former President Joe Biden was seen wandering back into the G7 meeting in France this week. A gathering of top world leaders was in the middle of a high-stakes debate on global trade when the doors swung open to the conference
Elon Musk became the world’s first trillionaire after his company SpaceX went public, with his personal net worth now eclipsing the entire GDP of countries like Taiwan, Ireland, and Sweden. What do you think?
The post Elon Musk Becomes World’s First Trillionaire appeared first on The Onion.
DALLAS—In a bold risk that strayed from her usual habits, local woman Emily Lentz reportedly dove headfirst into a thrilling adventure Wednesday by blindly purchasing a different apple variety. “What crazy times might this Cosmic Crisp have in store for me? I choose to accept its enigmatic offer
NEW YORK—At last providing a definitive answer to fans’ endless speculation, Sopranos creator and executive producer David Chase confirmed Tuesday that Tony Soprano died at the end of every episode in the series. “People have been asking me for a clear answer for a long, long time, so here it
It’ll take a lot more than the death of Fran Stephens, 50, to trigger a recall of ground beef.
The post Fran Stephens appeared first on The Onion.
The post Area Child’s Drawing Of Family Raises Troubling Questions About Size Of Dad appeared first on The Onion.
When I first booted up The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I thought I was gonna be in for a magical experience. The opening title card is fantastical and mysterious, and the music is pretty good. I couldn't find an option to turn the graphics to 4K resolution, but I set that aside and got started
The post Mikal Bridges Wakes Up From 4-Day Bender Next To Dead Jimmy Fallon appeared first on The Onion.
RAMSES — Archaeologists excavating at ancient Egyptian historical sites discovered evidence of another biblical plague, this one believed to have consisted of a horde of cyclists blocking Pharaoh's morning commute.
NEW YORK, NY — According to sources, Vice President JD Vance stumbled upon an incredible discovery on Tuesday when he made contact with a tribe of illiterate, feral women.
The UFC Freedom 250 event to celebrate President Donald Trump's birthday (and also for America's 250th birthday, kind of) was a massive success. That means one thing — more bloody, violent fights on the White House lawn. Through highly placed White House insiders, The Babylon Bee has obtained an e
New Education Department data found a double-digit decline in the number of school-aged children who read for fun almost every day, with the share of 13-year-olds who regularly read for pleasure down almost half since 2012. What do you think?
The post Study: Reading For Fun Down Among Schoolchildren
The post Elderly Man Uses Library To Print Out Pornography appeared first on The Onion.
CHICAGO—Anticipating the announcement would rank among the biggest scoops of his career, ESPN senior NBA insider Shams Charania is said to have casually mentioned to his colleagues Tuesday that he was really looking forward to breaking the news of Michael Jordan’s eventual death. “When MJ dies
Sports
Eleven weeks off a national title, Dusty May is moving to the NBA. What do the Wolverines do next?
Amazing doesn't even begin to describe Lionel Messi, whose two goals in Argentina's win over Austria made him the top men's or women's World Cup scorer. And he's not done yet.
The USMNT has clinched a spot in the World Cup knockouts, so should the team rotate in its final Group D match or stay consistent?
Less than 24 hours after his sons became teammates when Brady was dealt from Ottawa to Florida, joining brother Matthew, Keith Tkachuk was elected into the Hall of Fame Monday after waiting for more than a decade and a half since his playing career ended.
Julián Álvarez told ESPN he wants to leave Atlético Madrid this summer as Europe's top clubs jostle for the forward's signature.
Dustin Poirier was arrested for alleged public drunkenness on Sunday in Georgia.
Legendary "SportsCenter" anchor Linda Cohn is retiring this month after 34 years with ESPN.
From rookies to veterans, here are the players who have made an early impression on every NFL team ahead of training camp.
Notable news, notes and buzz from MLB's 2026 season.
Even after Dusty May’s departure, Michigan has the roster and infrastructure to remain a national contender — a testament to the foundation he built in two seasons.
FOX Sports analysts Peter Schmeichel and Clarence Seedorf couldn't help but admire Lionel Messi after his 18th World Cup goal and another Argentina victory.
My latest World Cup rankings has some movement. You don't like them, you can get own your own.
Barcelona are exploring attacking reinforcements following Robert Lewandowski's departure, with Harry Kane emerging as one of the names under consideration. The England captain's contract situation at Bayern Munich is being monitored, as discussions over the length of a possible extension have yet t
Track every FIFA World Cup goal scored by Kylian Mbappé as the French superstar closes in on the all-time scoring record.
The GOAT just keeps reminding us he's the GOAT. So here are Lionel Messi's 2026 World Cup goals from best to the very best.
Christian Pulisic returned to training with his U.S. teammates after missing their most recent match of the World Cup with a calf injury.
Prediction markets have changed the way bettors are attacking the World Cup. Patrick Everson reports on some wild wagers.
Welcome to America, where everything is bigger and weirder.
Tech
This won't make the already-controversial AI training endeavor any more popular.
Researchers say the discovery could be a “Rosetta stone” for cosmic signals.
The move comes after the company left potentially sensitive data from the initiative exposed internally.
Employees had previously raised concerns about the initiative, which involves collecting workers’ keystroke data to train AI models.
Spoiler: It's more Siri stuff.
The Ray-Ban Meta Optics lineup adds a premium fit and a few extra features, but comes with a higher price.
“Coffee” made with functional mushrooms like lion’s mane and chaga is all the rage. We tried the most popular brands to find which were the most palatable.
Uber's shareholders have filed a lawsuit against the ride-sharing giant.
Valve's Steam Machine will cost well over $1,000, and that's without a controller.
Two years after it turned Marg Monday into a daily, the Ninja Slushi is only $200. That’s the cheapest deal ever.
We’ve trawled the depths of Amazon to find the best early Prime Day deals on gear we’ve tested.
Amid concerns about AI models’ cybersecurity capabilities, OpenAI revealed an improved version of GPT-5.5-Cyber and its “Patch the Planet” initiative to fix open-source software bugs.
Smart glasses are hitting the mainstream, so companies are now getting into the accessories game.
A24 is taking $75 million in Google money to help build AI tools for movie production.
One woman is dead after a Tesla with "an automated driving assistance system" engaged crashed into a home in Katy, Texas.
Gareth Damian Martin drew on diverse inspirations for Signet City, from horror manga to a musical from Sting.
Instagram's TV app is expanding to Samsung TVs in the US, half a year after it launched for Amazon Fire TV devices.
Getty Images will allow OpenAI to use its content library in AI search and ChatGPT.
We asked Johan Ejdemo to list which Ikea items populate his home. He also tells us about his all-time favorite. (No, it’s not a Billy bookcase.)
Keir Starmer’s resignation on Monday morning paves the way for yet another leadership battle.
Entertainment
Alessandra Ambrosio and Izabel Goulart are reppin' their Brazilian pride in their yellow and green bikinis, but which sexy star is body goals and who's taking home the big W?! The question here is: Who'd You Rather?! VOTE NOW!
"Love Island USA" bombshell Alannah Keyser is catching major heat online over resurfaced videos showing her allegedly using a racial slur ... but her dad says the outrage is way off base. Stephane Keyser is coming out swinging in defense of his…
It sounds like it's going down in Jessica Simpson's DMs ... she says she welcomes direct messages from her admirers ... but there's one big string attached. We got Jessica at LAX Monday ... and our photog asked her if she's open to people sliding…
Comedian Carlos Mencia just appeared in court for his felony tax case ... and he entered a not guilty plea to all 12 charges against him. Prosecutors say Carlos -- born Ned Arnel Holness -- failed to report $8.7 million in income and owes more than…
D4vd's brother is making his way back onto social media after months out of the spotlight ... and right as the singer's murder trial approaches. D4vd's brother -- Caleb Burke -- uploaded a new vlog this week, marking one of his first public posts…
Mystikal is still being sued by the woman he pled guilty to raping ... which led to his recent 20-year prison sentence ... and she says he spit on her and forced her to pray before forcing himself on her. According to the suit, obtained by TMZ, the…
Geno Smith's baby mama, Kennedy, looks like she's concerned with another woman in his life ... and it seems this is the same woman who got cops called on the NFL star. Kennedy, who shares a son with the New York Jets quarterback, claims screenshots…
The fight for Karmelo Anthony's freedom is heading into the next round ... and a new group of heavyweight attorneys are now leading his effort to overturn his murder conviction. A team including Texas NAACP President Gary Bledsoe, veteran appellate…
The Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool is literally under the microscope ... and TMZ DC spotted signs it's passing one scientific test ... at least as it relates to algae. Check out the video ... workers spent time Monday roaming the perimeter of the…
An Atlanta man's attempt to get lucky turned out to be rather unlucky ... he claims two women he brought back to his place drugged him and made off with his expensive watches ... and now cops are investigating.According to multiple reports, the…
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