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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Israel launched a preemptive strike against Iran early Saturday, according to an announcement from Israeli Defense Minister Israel Katz.
Cathy McKee, 69, was arrested after DNA testing identified her as the mother of a newborn found dead inside a trash bag at a landfill in Columbus County, North Carolina, in 1979.
Fernando Mendoza reveals a team executive suggested he get arrested to slide in the NFL draft, despite being projected as the No. 1 overall pick to the Las Vegas Raiders.
Former President Biden accused President Trump of trying to erase truth and history, claiming he threatens democracy and America's global leadership role.
Everett Mayor Cassie Franklin issued a directive limiting ICE immigration enforcement in city buildings, sparking federal backlash over escalating tensions.
President Donald Trump joked about putting Sen. Ted Cruz on the Supreme Court, saying he'd get "100% of votes" because lawmakers want to "get him out" of Congress.
Discover this weekend’s best Amazon deals, including spring cleaning essentials, tech upgrades, kitchen must-haves, style staples and beauty favorites — all at limited-time discounts.
Washington state Democratic lawmaker Joe Fitzgibbon apologized after drinking alcohol before a House committee hearing where he appeared with slurred speech.
Registered sex offender Shelby Lang Smith was arrested for allegedly vandalizing the Oklahoma Capitol with anti-ICE graffiti and threats and faces 10 charges.
USA Rugby announced a new open gender division for trans athletes in response to President Donald Trump's executive order requiring men to stay out of women's sports.
Satire
U.S. — The Pentagon released a statement on Friday confirming a security breach by political commentator Tucker Carlson, who they said broke into a military hangar with the intent to slash the tires of all the Northrop B-2 Spirit bombers ahead of a perceived strike against Iran.
HIALEAH, FL—Despite ready access to an almost inexhaustible archive of exceptional movies, television shows, and print literature, local dad Brett Colston declared Friday that his favorite piece of media was a commercial from 2005. “I’m not sure if it was a Super Bowl ad originally, but you gu
There may be a bias toward Protestantism here, but being Catholic has its perks, too (reportedly). A delegation from The Babylon Bee flew out to Rome to meet with the College of Cardinals to find out the best reasons to be Catholic.
CHAPPAQUA, NY — While being questioned at the Chappaqua Performing Arts Center on Thursday, Hillary Clinton reportedly informed the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform that she only recalled meeting Jeffrey Epstein that one time when she murdered him.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former president and saxophone player Bill Clinton testified to members of Congress today that his answer to their questions depended on what the definition of "child trafficking" is.
U.S. — Tesla announced on Friday that it had entered an agreement to create a joint venture with Little Tikes to bring Full Self-Driving to the Cozy Coupe.
WASHINGTON—Amid shocking materials that include a photo in which the word ‘HELP’ has been spelled out with rocks, seaweed, and several stuffed animals, a newly released tranche of Epstein files revealed Friday that Deepak Chopra was still lost on the private island of Little St. James. “Fr
COLUMBUS, OH—Speaking with an unflagging sense of hope despite the long, challenging road ahead of him, prosthetic hand recipient James Bratton told reporters Friday he was slowly learning to lick barbecue sauce off his fingers again. “I’m still getting the hang of moving my sauce-covered hand
Jelly Roll, the artist behind songs “Son Of A Sinner” and “Save Me,” has announced a 2026 tour. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the singer. Birthplace: Walmart bathroom Legal Name: Davidson County Inmate No. 248323 Genre: Country for people who don’t like music Easily Id
NEW YORK—Doing everything within her power to ensure the big day would be absolutely perfect, pop superstar Taylor Swift paid off a bride who had booked the maid of honor she wanted, sources confirmed Friday. “I just really had my heart set on Lindsey,” said the multiplatinum recording artist
The post No One At Combine Sure Who Told Prospects To Walk With Water Balloon Between Knees appeared first on The Onion.
The post DOJ Fails To Redact Thousands Of Secret Epstein Family Recipes | Onion News Network appeared first on The Onion.
A mother in North Carolina who went missing while Christmas shopping 24 years ago was found “alive and well,” though she claimed she did not want to be contacted by her family. What do you think?
The post Mother Who Went Missing In 2001 Found Alive appeared first on The Onion.
TOKYO—In a bathroom stall outfitted with a glowing panel of cartoon icons and a series of tubular suction gears that pulsed in choreographed sequence to a cheery welcome jingle, American tourist Trevor Willis acknowledged he was totally overwhelmed Thursday by a confusing Japanese glory hole with
WASHINGTON—As shocking footage surfaced of his participation in the rowdy celebration, FBI director Kash Patel faced backlash Thursday after he was seen partying with the captors of Nancy Guthrie. “I was honored to have been invited to the isolated cabin where Savannah Guthrie’s mother has be
Sports
Cowboys owner and general manager Jerry Jones acknowledged Friday that he has let the fans down with Dallas' championship drought and has promised change -- starting with the team's approach to free agency.
The UFC announced a vacant light heavyweight title bout between Jiri Prochazka and Carlos Ulberg at UFC 327, meaning former champ Alex Pereira has vacated his belt.
The Women's National Basketball Players Association submitted a new counterproposal to the WNBA on Friday evening with some concessions on revenue share and housing, a source told ESPN on Friday.
See the results of the NFL Players Association's 2026 report cards for all 32 teams.
Former MLB pitcher Daniel Serafini was sentenced Friday to life in prison after being convicted of first-degree murder of his father-in-law, attempted murder of his mother-in-law and first-degree burglary.
Thunder guard Lu Dort was called for a flagrant foul 2 and ejected from Friday night's game after appearing to trip Nuggets star Nikola Jokic, who called the play "an unnecessary move."
The Celtics posted one of the best offensive performances in league history on Friday night against the Nets.
No. 3 Michigan defeated No. 10 Illinois 84-70 on Friday night and clinched the Big Ten regular-season title.
Trey Perry scored on a driving layup with a second remaining, and No. 21 Miami of Ohio rallied to beat Western Michigan 69-67 to extend its season-opening winning streak to 29 games.
Day 2 saw speedy defensive backs and a couple of tight ends put on a show. Here are our experts on the combine's top workouts.
Morez Johnson Jr. had a double-double as the Wolverines cruised past Illinois and clinched the outright Big Ten regular-season title.
Only one men's college basketball team remains undefeated in the 2025-2026 season.
Here are five things to know about Michigan forward Morez Johnson Jr.
Cavan Sullivan delivered an American scoring record with his first professional goals for the Philadelphia Union.
United States men's national team striker Josh Sargent has joined MLS side Toronto from Norwich City.
Neymar has broken into the top 10 of Santos club’s all-time leading goalscorers this week after scoring twice in a 2-1 win against Vasco da Gama in the Brazilian league.
GOAL's Ballon d'Or Power Rankings continue to track the likeliest winners of the Golden Ball over the coming weeks and months.
Kylian Mbappe finds himself at a crucial juncture with Real Madrid due to a persistent left knee sprain that has plagued him since December.
Arguably no sport has seen as big of a boom in interest as INDYCAR, but who are the sport's best drivers? We rank them.
Projected No. 1 pick Fernando Mendoza highlighted the podium sessions at the NFL combine on Friday as on-field drills continued.
Tech
Prediction markets like Polymarket and Kalshi are big business, and some Big Tech employees are testing boundaries by making trades based on insider knowledge.
Paramount Skydance’s sprawling media empire will get a major boost if the deal gets approved.
With the likes of The Last of Us and Fallout out of the way for a bit, Amazon has seized its opportunity to put the spotlight on the next big video game adaptation, its currently-in-production God of War show. Today we got our first look at Ryan Hurst and Callum Vinson as Kratos and Atreus.
The im
OpenAI just announced a massive funding round of $110 billion, which is one of the biggest investment rounds in Silicon Valley history. The investors feature many of the usual suspects, including Amazon with $50 billion, NVIDIA with $30 billion and SoftBank with $30 billion. This investment brings O
NASA is making major changes to its Artemis Moon program. On Friday, Administrator Jared Isaacman announced the space agency would carry out an additional flight in 2027 to test commercial lunar landers from SpaceX and/or Blue Origin. The new mission will take the place of Artemis 3, which previousl
A “thought experiment” about the impacts of AI sent stocks tumbling earlier this week. It’s probably going to keep happening.
Pokémon celebrates its 30th anniversary today, and as you’d expect, Nintendo and The Pokémon Company are cranking up the nostalgia in every possible way. In addition to re-releasing the Game Boy Advance remakes of Pokémon Red and Blue on Nintendo Switch Online, they’re also selling us a Game
The Pokémon leakers were right: the Gen 10 games are called Pokémon Wind and Pokémon Waves. The Pokémon Company confirmed the titles during a 30th anniversary stream on Pokémon Day. The games are set to hit Nintendo Switch 2 in 2027. (A Game Freak leak last October suggested Wind and Waves woul
Samsung’s Unpacked event midweek revealed three new phones and two sets of earbuds, but the real standout, as usual, is the Galaxy S26 Ultra. This year, the Ultra actually features a bit of genuine tech innovation — and no, we don’t mean it folds.
Let’s talk about its new Privacy Display. Th
This week, we're diving into the big changes at Xbox and what it all means for Microsoft's gaming future. Phil Spencer, the longtime face of Xbox, announced he's retiring last week. He'll be replaced by Microsoft's former CoreAI CEO Asha Sharma, instead of his longtime deputy Sarah Bond, who plans t
The MacBook is coming back — or at least, that's what the rumors claim. Next week, Apple is expected to announce a colorful, low-cost, non-Air, non-Pro MacBook powered by one of its mobile processors. By avoiding its pricier M-series chips, Apple may reportedly be able to reach a low $699 or $799
Aventon’s latest single-speed hybrid bicycle is light, looks cool, and is the most bikey electric bike on the market right now.
If there’s one thing that stops people using their smart rings over the long term, it’s the battery life. After all, they’re so unobtrusive, it’s easy to forget to drop it on the charging plate every few days. It doesn’t take long for your pricey gadget to become little more than a very ex
The app reads your email inbox and your meeting calendar, then gives you a short audio summary. It can help you spend less time scrolling, but of course, there are privacy drawbacks to consider.
The Aktiia Hilo Blood Pressure Monitor is the first cuffless monitor to be cleared by the FDA. It’s discreet, highly accurate, and simple to use
A show that started as an earnest if messy quest for love is now simply a mirror to the hell of modern dating.
OpenAI has vowed to strengthen its safety protocols and to notify law enforcement of credible threats sooner in a letter addressed to Canadian authorities, according to Politico and The Washington Post. If you’ll recall, Canadian politicians summoned the company’s leaders after reports came out
With its twirly cord and landline-like features, the Tin Can is giving kids a crash course in phone etiquette. For example: Talk!
After 16 weeks of daily use, our WIRED testers saw visible hair regrowth with these red light therapy devices.
A report copublished by WIRED sparked a probe into opt-out pages hidden by data brokers. Now congressional Democrats say breaches tied to the industry have cost people tens of billions of dollars.
Entertainment
The 2026 World Cup is just months away, and Lyft is preparing all its drivers for the biggest sports event of the year ... revealing to TMZ Sports it is providing plenty of resources to keep travelers safe -- including anti-trafficking education.…
TMZ may collect a share of sales or other compensation from links on this page. There's no doubt that Korea is way ahead of the game when it comes to skincare and makeup so if your current routine isn't giving glass skin, it's time to switch things…
The Winter Olympics may be over, but pro snowboarder Chloe Kim is still droppin' jaws with her golden-girl style! Can you tie up the sneaky switches?! The 25-year-old star -- who recently won the silver medal in the women’s snowboard halfpipe --…
Bill Cosby's rape accuser Donna Motsinger says the TV star can't be bothered to show up to court for a trial in a lawsuit she filed against him. According to new legal docs, obtained by TMZ. Motsinger says Bill will not testify in court ... she…
Megan Thee Stallion looks like she's about to rock the hell out of a Roberto Cavalli dress ... and she's giving everyone a sexy sneak preview. The three-time Grammy Award-winning artist shared some photos from a recent dress fitting ... and she's…
An attorney for two people targeted in raids connected to Nancy Guthrie's disappearance is calling out law enforcement for going after his client ... who he says has no involvement in the crime. Attorney Chris Scileppi represents Luke Daley -- the…
An iconic movie moment from the '90s is hitting the auction block ... it's the mechanical rhinoceros that gave birth to Ace Ventura in a Jim Carrey sequel. Yes, the butt birth rhino from "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls" is up for grabs over at…
"The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" fans can expect a possible West Coast spinoff ... and if it gets the official green light, sources tell us the show could be rolling cameras within weeks! Production sources connected to the project tell TMZ a…
Up-and-coming rapper Luci4 was found dead in an L.A. residence on Sunday ... and now we're learning more about his movements hours prior to his death. We broke the news ... the rapper -- best known for his viral hit "BodyPartz" -- was found dead at…
Amanda Frances says a reconciliation between herself and Dorit Kemsley seems unlikely ... but, she's laying the blame totally at the other star's feet. We caught up with the 'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' star in New York City earlier this…
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