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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Christian Kirk is set to return from injured reserve as the 49ers rule out Mike Evans, Nick Bosa and Deebo Samuel ahead of the Falcons game.
Fox News stars Ainsley Earhardt and Sean Hannity tied the knot on Saturday at the historic Church of Bethesda-by-the-Sea in Palm Beach, Florida.
Connor Hellebuyck says he's "really excited to play hockey again" after sitting out all season and addresses New Jersey Devils media for the first time.
Pete Banaszak scored twice in the Raiders' Super Bowl XI victory over the Vikings and played a key role in the infamous "Holy Roller" NFL play.
A 33-year-old suspect allegedly set fire to the Eagle's Nest, Adolf Hitler's mountain retreat in the Bavarian Alps, and showed signs of mental illness.
Sacha Baron Cohen reveals why "Ali G: Who Iz I?" will be his last over-the-top comedy, citing dangerous stunts and severe dehydration on set.
UCF Knights stunned the No. 2 BYU Cougars in double overtime in Orlando, delivering the biggest win over a ranked team in their program history.
Elon Musk claims Ukraine violated Starlink terms of service by using the civilian system for deadly drone strikes, saying the loophole was closed.
LaNorris Sellers' incredible goal-line dive tied the game before South Carolina stunned No. 11 Tennessee with a walk-off 48-yard field goal.
Dave Doeren's 14-year NC State football tenure ends after a 31-28 loss to Stanford dropped the Wolfpack to a disappointing 3-4 record this season.
Satire
ATLANTA, GA — Federal election monitors confirmed Thursday that millions of mail-in ballots cast for Democratic candidates nationwide have been traced back to 12-foot-tall plastic lawn skeletons.
EDMONTON — Just days before Electronic Arts shuttered video game developer BioWare Corp., sources confirmed a divine promise was made to spare the studio if at least ten heterosexual white male game developers could be found there.
NEW YORK, NY — LGBTQ+ has just gotten a little more inclusive with the addition of an "S" for "Sibling."
PHILADELPHIA, PA — NBA officials believe they've finally found a way to get LeBron James to stand at attention during the national anthem and show some respect by giving him a Chinese flag to look at.
KYIV — Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy denied claims by President Trump that Starlink service had been restored in Ukraine, even going so far as to say their service had been downgraded by Elon Musk to Netscape Navigator with a dial-up connection.
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PARIS — Panic spread across the city of Paris today after the Atlanta Falcons announced a surprise visit to France.
The Central Intelligence Agency is experiencing a historic surge of departures as the Trump administration pushes veteran officers to resign or retire. What do you think?
The post CIA Experiencing Mass Exodus appeared first on The Onion.
CHARLOTTE, NC — Night-shift nurse Avani Kaur burst into the hospital room at 2 a.m. this morning to remind recovering mother Lindsay Cullen how critical sleep is for postpartum recovery.
DULUTH, MN — Congresswoman Ilhan Omar narrowly evaded capture by authorities on Thursday as she was seen escaping aboard a Somali pirate ship docked in Lake Superior, shouting, "You will always remember this as the day you almost caught Ilhan Omar!"
With millions of Americans consuming far more sodium than is recommended by doctors, many are looking for ways to cut back. The Onion shares tips for lowering the amount of salt in your diet. Stay away from foods with red-flag terms on the label like “flavor.” Buy fresh, frozen, or canned jerky.
CLIVE, IA—In an effort to make their selection process more robust and holistic, officials at the multistate lottery game Powerball announced Friday the addition of an essay section. “In order to learn more about the wide range of people interested in becoming Powerball winners, we’re asking t
PARIS — To accommodate modern French sensibilities, the NFL has announced that their first ever game to take place in Paris will include special endzone messaging by having "Allahu Akbar" painted onto the field.
BURBANK, CA—Attempting to outline plans for their cinematic universe to fans, producers at DC Studios clarified in a press statement Friday that the new film Clayface was not connected to Matt Reeves’ The Batman, unless they decided it actually was. “With so much confusion over the large-scale
VATICAN CITY—In the latest sign that his health continues to improve, Pope Leo XIV declared Friday in an address to Catholics around the world that he would soon be strong enough to battle God. “To the faithful gathered here, thank you for your support, and know that I now feel better than ever
CHICAGO—Dashing from station to station in a state of pure delirium as he gazed upon the endless spread of complimentary food and drinks, local dad Bruce Etheridge was reportedly losing his fucking mind Tuesday over the box suite amenities at a Blackhawks game. “Holy crap, they got hot dogs, lo
LOS ANGELES—Peeking out from behind the trunk with a mischievous grin on her face, actress Sydney Sweeney announced, “Now my breasts are over here!” from behind an old oak tree Friday. “He-he, it’s me,” said the 29-year-old Euphoria and Anyone But You star, who giggled as she ducked behi
SAN FRANCISCO—Immediately reconsidering her decision to treat herself to a little spending spree upon seeing how much it would cost, local woman Christina Rogers reportedly scrapped her plan to splurge Thursday on account of the price. “I told myself I was going to reward my hard work this week
DAVENPORT, IA—In a shocking and distressing display of self-centered behavior on “this day of all days,” the grown children of Lynn Sullivan confirmed Thursday that their mom was making her birthday entirely about her. “It’s just ‘me, me, me,’ with her today. Unbelievable,” said 19-y
The post Nathan Fielder Quietly Deletes Footage Of Theranos Machine Working Perfectly appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
BYU coach Kalani Sitake disagreed with a roughing the kicker penalty that led to UCF's eventual winning score, but he refused to call the loss a letdown.
The Heat fell to 0-3 after a 115-110 loss to the undermanned Hornets in which Giannis Antetokounmpo scored just 14 points before fouling out.
The Baltimore Ravens have ruled QB Lamar Jackson out of Sundays game vs. the Cincinnati Bengals as he continues to deal with a high ankle sprain. Tyler "Snoop" Huntley will get the start.
The Valkyries played stellar defense to beat the Dream and even the WNBA Finals at 2-2.
NC State fired head coach Dave Doeren after a 3-4 start to the season and on the heels of an upset loss at Stanford, the school announced Saturday.
The Eagles' top two receivers -- DeVonta Smith and Dontayvion Wicks -- have been ruled out of Monday night's game against the Cowboys.
Touchdowns for Tucker Kraft and Germie Bernard? Cardinals pull another upset? Revenge game for Trey Hendrickson? Let's predict 15 things for Week 7.
UFC CEO Dana White said welterweight champ Islam Makhachev gave no reason for declining a January title defense, forcing the promotion to book an interim title bout.
Josh Hoover had a 4-yard TD run in overtime and No. 6 Indiana kept Michigan out of the end zone in a 13-6 win -- the Hoosiers' first at the Big House since 1967.
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North Carolina State has fired head coach Dave Doeren in the middle of his 14th season, the school announced.
Curt Cignetti nearly turned to his backup quarterback Saturday after starter Josh Hoover struggled for most of No. 6 Indiana’s 13-6 overtime win over Michigan.
Tech
Wireless CarPlay doesn't require a new car or head unit; with the right adapter, you can enjoy a cable-free connection.
Even after price hikes, you can get an affordable console, but it requires some care to pick the right option.
An AirTag's battery is easy to replace, but you don't want it to run low at a critical moment.
Setting up a home network is rewarding, but you should be aware of common missteps to avoid hassle in the future.
Electric vehicles lose battery when they're left unused for long periods. There are a number of reasons why, and some might be totally out of your control.
Electric cars need incredibly large batteries that offer long driving ranges and charge quickly, but remain cool when under load. This is how they do so.
Digital wallets can completely remove the need to carry cards and cash, but there's a lot more to them than just your usual Apple, Samsung and Google offerings.
eSIMs are more convenient than physical SIM cards in many ways, but they aren't a 100 percent upgrade.
Adding a new SIM to your phone links it to all Google accounts, and any new Google accounts you add all inherit your phone number.
There's a good reason for that arrangement.
Security researchers used AI tools to help uncover years-old vulnerabilities in the PHP web scripting language. Then the AI-assisted attacks began.
The vaccine is personalized to a patient’s tumor, and results from the Phase 3 trial are yet another example of the promise of mRNA vaccines in treating cancer.
Whether you’re near or far, keep an eye on your fur baby with our favorite pet cameras.
Apple’s first folding phone is inspiring indie developers to create fun, quirky apps that take advantage of the screen and the hinge. Here are a few to try as you explore the Duo.
The Joybird Eliot Sleeper, plus hundreds of other options, are up to 40 percent off during the brand’s Semiannual sale.
WIRED and its panel of watch experts hunted for real mechanical timepieces at rock-bottom prices and found a wealth of options. Here are our favorites.
This screen-free soundstage starter kit opens a world of audio fun for kids aged 3 years and up.
I’ve tested laptops for more than a decade, and here’s my advice for finding the right laptop for you.
No cameras? No problem. Ditching the surveillance baggage makes Meta’s audio-only frames surprisingly easy to live with.
I’ve tested almost every Garmin watch—these entry-level favorites are steeply discounted right now.
Entertainment
Pro wrestler Amber Flora has been arrested for DUI and refusal to submit to DUI testing ... TMZ has learned. The former NXT wrestler was arrested by the Orlando Police Department on Friday at 5:40 AM ... jail records show. She was subsequently…
Kristi Noem allegedly created a fake press release using doctored State Department letterhead to explain why she was exiting her special envoy role after getting fired as DHS secretary ... this according to reports. After the State Department…
"Love Is Blind" star Scott "Stew" Stewart has owned up to how he came across on the show ... but he also claims he has "no recollection" of what he said before he was ultimately rejected. Speaking with the "TMZ Podcast" ... Stew said that he 100…
An influencer born in NYC was arrested in Colombia after authorities claim they found a cache of weapons and drugs inside her apartment ... and the scene they described is straight out of "Narcos" or "Breaking Bad." National police officers and a…
Michael B. Jordan's gritty crime drama just got a little too gritty ... as a man allegedly showed up to the set with a huge butcher's knife and started scaring the film crew. The NYPD tells TMZ ... Alex Perez, 23, allegedly started disrupting…
A New Jersey middle school teacher has been accused of running a prostitution scam that involved her allegedly pinning down a naked man ... but she claims she was "strictly there to party." An unidentified man claims he met Middle Township Middle…
Six Flags Over Georgia's Goliath roller coaster is set to be reopened with new safety features once the ride has been retrofitted ... after a man was violently thrown to his death earlier this month. The theme park announced seat belts would be…
Bhad Bhabie is looking to unload her massive Florida mansion ... and she's hoping to pocket nearly $7 million in the process ... TMZ has learned. Real estate sources tell TMZ ... the rapper's Boca Raton estate hit the market Wednesday with an…
Dakota Johnson and Machine Gun Kelly's romance is showing zero signs of slowing down ... with the pair seemingly glued to each other day and night in new pics. In the photos ... Dakota and MGK can be seen leaving a music studio together Friday…
Ric Flair is letting fans know he's OK after a fall landed him in the hospital ... sharing a photo of him wearing a patch taped over his right eye. Ric posted an update on Instagram ... thanking his fans for their support and the hospital staff for…
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