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Disney ticket prices now exceed $200 at peak times, and viral videos show families allegedly hiding children in strollers to try smuggling them into parks to save money.
Phone-free restaurants are growing across the U.S., with bars and eateries asking diners to put devices away. Gen Z is driving the shift, per a 2025 survey.
Craig Albernaz was struck by a line drive off Jeremiah Jackson's bat during the Orioles' win over the Diamondbacks on Monday and left for an evaluation.
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle face growing questions about their brand as experts cite stalled deals, waning interest, and a polarizing Australia tour.
Abdul El-Sayed's donor network is drawing new scrutiny as more links to radical figures emerge, including pro-Maduro activist and a wealthy businessman who praised convicted cop killer.
New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman said he's "torn" about rooting for the Iran regime's defeat if it helps President Donald Trump and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.
A new study analyzing Reddit posts found that GLP-1 users reported side effects like fatigue, chills and menstrual irregularities not seen in clinical trials.
Congressional Democrats want President Donald Trump removed from office, but disagree on impeachment versus the 25th Amendment, exposing cracks in their typically unified front.
Latin music star and Texas congressional candidate Bobby Pulido is criticized for a suggestive joke about a bandmate exposed as a child predator.
Satire
A hiker was forced to be airlifted after he was stung by bees over 100 times, with officials claiming the stings left him “unable to continue his descent.” What do you think?
The post Hiker Airlifted After Being Stung By Bees Over 100 Times appeared first on The Onion.
The post Justin Bieber Performs Coachella Aftershow Lying Face-Down On Massage Table appeared first on The Onion.
U.S. — According to advertising experts, the reason television commercials no longer depict medicine as tiny little warriors murdering tiny little germs is because of "wokeness."
WASHINGTON—Shocking Truth Social followers with a graphic insult to a nebulous opponent, President Donald Trump escalated a feud with an unclear adversary Monday by posting an AI video of himself fucking a basketball. “The president is clearly enraged at somebody, but the clip provides far too l
TULSA, OK — The security line ground to a halt this morning at the Tulsa International Airport as it took 42 minutes for a local dad to empty his cargo pants.
SAN FRANCISCO—Following reports that a 20-year-old man had been arrested for throwing a Moltov cocktail at Sam Altman’s home, the suspect stated Monday that he only initiated the attack because he was following a ChatGPT recipe for risotto. “I’ve been using ChatGPT to help with cooking for
As you've probably heard, there is a chimpanzee civil war in Uganda.
NAVASOTA, TX — Local grandma Susan Fields announced to her family that she had finally gotten with the times and made a profile on "that MyFace thing."
VATICAN CITY — In an escalation of the public feud between the U.S. president and the supreme pontiff of the Catholic Church, Pope Leo XIV shared an AI-generated photo of himself dressed as Donald Trump.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump told reporters on Monday that he wasn't concerned about his recent dip in popularity or the controversy that resulted from his posting of a social media image depicting himself as Christ, boldly predicting that his approval ratings would be resurrected in three d
WASHINGTON—In a major new agreement expected to provide the United States with unprecedented market access to the island nation, President Donald Trump announced Friday that he had finalized a long-anticipated trade deal with Pedotopia. Despite years of tension between the two leaders, Trump smile
SPRINGFIELD, IL—As the landmark bipartisan legislation passed into law Thursday, Illinois became the first state in the union to mandate paid haircut leave while an employee’s new bob grows out. “Effective immediately, every employer in Illinois will be required to provide two weeks of compen
This would’ve been a great place to raise a family, but instead a wealthy couple will collect egregious amounts of passive income from bachelorette parties. Reference #32487
The post Never Mind, It’s An Airbnb Now appeared first on The Onion.
A class of medications called GLP-1s have skyrocketed in popularity recently for their effectiveness in reducing body mass. The Onion examines the myths and facts surrounding these weight-loss drugs. MYTH: GLP-1s are only prescribed for diabetes. FACT: GLP-1s have many applications, from aiding in a
Eligible men in the United States will be registered into the military draft pool automatically by December, a measure slipped into last year’s annual defense policy bill that will replace the previous self-registration process. What do you think?
The post Automatic U.S. Military Draft Registratio
Sports
ESPN combed through more than 450 matches to rank the 10 greatest moments in WrestleMania history.
Andreas Hale recaps the key moments from the final episode of "Raw" before WrestleMania 42 in Las Vegas.
Lisandro Martinez was sent off on Monday for pulling the hair of Leeds United striker Dominic Calvert-Lewin.
Tottenham are really bad and looking at the way this team has been constructed, one thing clearly stands out: This team is really bad at passing the ball, and that may explain their present malaise.
Here's everything you need to know about the Champions League knockout rounds.
The Hornets are two wins away from snapping the NBA's longest current playoff drought. Can Charlotte end the futility by advancing out of the play-in against the Heat?
Our NBA experts pick which teams make it out of the play-in tournament and first-round matchups.
We explore the next moves each team should make this summer and forecast expectations for 2026-27.
There isn't much season left to determine playoff seeding and draft lottery order. Here's a rundown of what's on tap.
With rosters settled and practices underway, we rank the top contenders for the 2026 college football season.
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Tech
Protect your expensive iPhone 17, iPhone Air, iPhone Pro, or iPhone 17e with our favorite cases and screen protectors.
If you were looking for the worst AI project announced so far this week, try Meta. According to a Financial Times report, the company is developing its own Mark Zuckerberg AI, training it on Zuckerberg’s mannerisms, tone and publicly available statements. AKA, the good stuff. (Will it smoke meats?
An R-rated animated film adaptation of Bloodborne is currently being developed by Sony, according to Variety. Sony Pictures Entertainment Motion Picture Group held a presentation at CinemaCon, where the division’s president said that the adaptation will be “very true” to the violent and graphi
New to DIY and home repair? These are the essential power tools that will make your life easier, no matter what you’re building and repairing.
The Brooklyn band Geese was labeled an “industry plant” by those who questioned its sudden ubiquity. Maybe it was.
The Coros Pace 4’s long battery life, training tools, and accessible price point are all reasons why you should reconsider getting a Garmin.
Alex Bores, a former Palantir employee, helped pass one of the country’s toughest AI laws. Now Silicon Valley’s biggest names are trying to stop his rise to Congress.
Here are the current best bundles from the most popular services.
In July 1993, a disguised player entered the World Open chess tournament in Philadelphia using the name of a mathematician who died in 1957. His real identity remained unknown—until now.
“This has never happened before,” one government employee tells WIRED. “I have never gotten a message like this from anyone.”
The best mattresses for stomach sleepers have spinal alignment in mind. These are my recommendations as a certified sleep science coach.
Faces of Death features a black-pilled killer who thinks he’s giving the internet what it wants. In some ways, he’s right.
OpenAI CEO Sam Altman's house may have been the target of a second attack after San Francisco Police Department arrested two suspects for a reported shooting in the Russian Hill neighborhood. The SFPD said in a press release that police officers responded to a "suspicious occurrence of possible shot
Many creators have already switched from Adobe Premiere to DaVinci Resolve, and now the developer, Blackmagic Design, is going after Lightroom and Photoshop. The Australian company just unveiled DaVinci Resolve 21 in beta at the NAB 2026 broadcast convention with a brand new page called Photo design
Xbox's new chief exec, Asha Sharma, has only been in charge for a few months but things already seem like they might be changing for the better. Or at the very least, they might be getting cheaper. The Verge reported that the new Xbox CEO wrote a memo to employees addressing the current pricing of t
Fans of miniature plastic soldiers, rejoice. Games Workshop has brought a host of older Warhammer and Warhammer 40K video games to Steam for the first time, alongside a dozen games that haven't been available on Valve's storefront for a few years. The new to Steam releases consist of three games fro
Dozens of civil rights organizations have written a letter to Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg to warn of the dangers in bringing facial recognition technology to the company's smart glasses. More than 70 groups have banded together to form a coalition to urge Zuckerberg to abandon plans to incorporate the
There are plenty of retro gaming handhelds on the market, but Anbernic is introducing one that offers a unique spin on the square shape. The retro gaming handheld maker revealed the RG Rotate on its YouTube channel, showing off a 1:1 display that swivels out much like the T-Mobile Sidekick of yore.
Over the past couple of years, Google has found ways to stuff Gemini in nearly every app and service it offers. Whether it's Gmail with its AI inbox or Chrome with its chat sidebar, Gemini is now inescapable inside of Workspace. I don't know about you, but I don't need an AI to tell me how to write
Many countries are pursuing social media bans for anyone under 16, but a recent poll is putting the effectiveness of such laws into question. The Molly Rose Foundation, a charity organization that focuses on preventing online harm, recently published a study that polled 1,050 Australian children bet
Entertainment
Tom Dumont has actually been living with early-onset Parkinson's disease for several years now -- long before he went public -- sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ. We’re told the No Doubt guitarist already knew about his diagnosis…
"The Real Housewives of Atlanta" star Drew Sidora's 5-figure monthly income was exposed as part of her ugly divorce battle ... this, according to docs from her messy divorce. The court docs, obtained by TMZ, show the Bravo star pulls in an average…
Rapper Swae Lee worked out a deal with a woman who claimed he was the father of her 3-year-old child ... TMZ has learned. According to court docs obtained by TMZ, Swae informed a Florida judge a confidential agreement was reached and all matters…
One thing about celebs -- they always know how to show up when it comes to maternity style ... and this one’s no exception. Can you guess who’s bumpin' along in this skimpy, Mariah Carey-inspired look -- striking a full hands-on-hips pose like…
TMZ may collect a share of sales or other compensation from links on this page. Spring has just sprung ... but it's never too early to get ready for summer. Whether you've got big beach plans or dreams of rotting at a resort, it's crucial that you…
Actor Brandon Molale was in his early 30s when he played Kevin -- the bulky New York Jets' quarterback with no manners -- in the 2002 rom-com film "Mr. Deeds." Brandon hit the big screen with Adam Sandler, Winona Ryder, and Steve Buscemi. Guess…
Selena Gomez showed major love for Demi Lovato at her "It's Not That Deep Tour ... and TMZ has learned their longtime friendship came full circle. Video shared online shows Selena sitting in a balcony seat with a friend, watching Demi's opening…
Jessi Draper and Jordan Ngatikaura's split comes with a wild real estate twist ... 'cause TMZ has learned they bought a brand new home just months before everything fell apart. According to real estate records, obtained by TMZ, "The Secret Lives of…
Rep. Johnathan Jackson is firmly in Pope Leo's corner amid a recent beef with President Trump ... and he's reminding POTUS he's not God. A photog got the Congressman from Illinois arriving in Washington D.C. Monday after Congress' two-week paid…
Lindsie Chrisley hit her ex-boyfriend in the face and made him bleed ... at least that's what he told dispatchers after calling the police for help. TMZ obtained the 911 audio from David Landsman's call to cops in Georgia, and you hear him say…
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