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The NBA is moving toward AI-automated officiating to eliminate replay delays and address foul-baiting criticism during the Western Conference playoffs.
Clint Dempsey believes the USMNT has what it takes to make a run at the 2026 FIFA World Cup on home soil, recalling his own sacrifices for country.
CDC data shows tick bite-related ER visits are at their highest seasonal levels in years, with doctors urging prevention amid a tick-borne disease surge.
The General Services Administration joins the White House fraud task force to combat waste and abuse in federal contracting and procurement systems.
A self-described Boomer explores the generational war with Gen Z over housing costs, student debt and AI fears, arguing both sides have valid points.
Harvard faces criticism for naming Sheryl WuDunn, wife of controversial NYT columnist Nicholas Kristof, as vice chair of the Board of Overseers executive committee.
The Pentagon informed allies it plans to reduce U.S. military contributions to NATO by one-third to one-half amid a push for European burden-sharing.
Jill Biden recalled fearing Joe Biden was having a stroke during his 2024 debate against Trump, sparking criticism from conservatives and media figures.
SEC coaches say they felt misled about voting for nine conference games, claiming they expected it to lead to a 16-team playoff expansion that never came.
Satire
NASHVILLE, TN — The Southern Baptist Convention voted to adopt a new church policy on Wednesday where tasers can be used on visitors who try to sneak past the church greeters.
AUSTIN, TX — Representative James Talarico was seen today gleefully dropkicking a labradoodle as he assured onlookers that Jesus had never explicitly said that you can't dropkick a labradoodle.
The inaugural Enhanced Games, consisting of weightlifting, swimming, and sprinting, were held, which allowed competitors to take performance-enhancing drugs in hopes of pushing the limits of human achievement. What do you think?
The post Enhanced Games Allows Competing Athletes To Use Steroids appea
BOONE, NC—Noting that the troubling signs of a toxic dynamic had become too numerous to ignore, area woman Kara Vasques expressed concern Wednesday that she was in a codependent relationship with the rest of humanity. “Sometimes things will be great with me and the human race, but then I start t
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Despite ongoing bombing operations being carried out in recent days, members of the Trump White House announced that the peace deal with Iran was completely done except for all the important parts.
STARBASE, TX—Firing off dozens of messages in less than a minute at 2:30 a.m., Elon Musk reportedly hit up a text thread Wednesday to see if any of his 13 kids had ketamine. “Hey kids, it’s Dad, I’ve just been crashing out hard and need a few bumps of K to get me to the […]
The post Elon M
WASHINGTON—Proudly declaring that the exam revealed what he had known all along, President Donald Trump boasted Wednesday that his annual physical turned up no signs of pedophilia. “The doctors gave me the most thorough pedophilia testing you can get, and I’m totally clean,” said Trump, who
RED ROCKS, CO — Local concertgoers experienced a wave of dread Friday night when indie-rock front man Julian Vance announced the band was going to "play a little something from the new album."
CALGARY — One elderly woman was convinced that her life was soon going to change forever, as the Canadian grandmother expressed excitement after hearing that her family was preparing to hire a MAID.
TEXAS — With the field now set for the Texas Senate race, Democrats are hopeful that the average Texan voter wants to ban steak and believes God is gay.
BETHESDA, MD—Complaining during his annual physical Tuesday that the narrow tubelike structure offered next to no room for socializing, President Donald Trump decried the lack of space to host parties inside an MRI machine. “It’s so cramped that maybe you can fit one or two foreign dignitaries
The post ‘The Mandalorian And Grogu’ Slammed By Fans As Third-Best ‘Star Wars’ Film appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Growing increasingly angry and pacing his office, Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth was reportedly shaking with rage Tuesday after imagining a plus-sized astronaut. “Ugh, it makes me fucking sick to think about some fatass floating through space making Americans look like pathetic slo
Faculty at Harvard University voted to set limits on the number of A’s awarded to students, citing the need to curb grade inflation. What do you think?
The post Harvard Caps Number Of A Grades appeared first on The Onion.
Top-ranked tennis player Jannik Sinner arrives at the French Open on a 29-match win streak, having recently swept six consecutive ATP 1000 titles and completed the Career Golden Masters. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the four-time Grand Slam champion. Height: 8-foot-6 (with tenn
Sports
Bill Connelly picks strengths and weaknesses for every team ahead of the 2026 WCWS.
With the clock ticking and jerseys mounting, Carolan Bledsoe and her family have sewn thousands of patches onto uniforms at the Women's College World Series.
All of the traits bettors should be looking for at the Charles Schwab Challenge and the best bets to make.
What league insiders are saying about the lingering decisions for Austin Reaves, Jalen Duren, Mitchell Robinson this offseason.
The numbers show that drafting in the top five hasn't turned into NBA titles over the past 20 years.
The potential No. 1 MLB draft pick is playing for more than just himself every time he steps onto the field.
As college baseball regionals arrive, we rank the rosters loaded with top-level talent.
The Hurricanes routed the Canadiens in Montreal. Here's what it all means, with a look ahead to Friday's Game 5.
We're picking out the offseason's highs (Vikings getting Kyler Murray on the veterans minimum) and lows (Niners taking Kaelon Black in Round 3) for every NFC team.
New Orleans tackles unknowns such as the second-year QB, Alvin Kamara and new face of the defense.
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We're tracking notable injuries, news and happenings across men's and women's college basketball during the 2025-2026 season.
Jeremy Fears Jr. will be back with Michigan State for the 2026-27 season.
Here's the latest offseason buzz and rumors around the NFL.
Denny Hamlin is favored to take the checkered flag at Nashville, but last year's winner could be one to watch. Here are the odds.
In his first public comments since Murray signed with the eager-to-contend Vikings, McCarthy sounded as though he understood the situation but did not necessarily appreciate it.
Who will shake things up this time around? Here’s our way-too-early check-in on the Cy Young award contenders.
Sergio Ramos' proposed takeover of Sevilla has completely collapsed after the Real Madrid legend drastically altered the terms of his bid.
The Southeastern Conference is eliminating “cupcake weekend."
Tech
Reddit and X have reportedly received grand jury subpoenas from the Justice Department, seeking the identities of users who posted about ICE.
Created from fabric scraps that would otherwise end up in a landfill, this thoughtfully constructed bag looks great and can carry everything you need for a weeklong trip.
New mothers working in software development are staring down an AI-pilled workplace they barely recognize.
With sharper resolution and lightning-fast performance, Canon’s latest full-frame mirrorless punches well above its class.
The tech giant says a breakthrough in data-center networking has dramatically accelerated the flow of information through its massive cloud infrastructure.
The Centers for Research in Emerging Infectious Diseases were launched during the Covid-19 pandemic. The group lost its funding under Trump in part due to conspiracy theories.
After releasing a feature to detect and label AI-generated videos, YouTube has released a new feature that will let you curate videos using... AI.
Customer data from more than 350 hotels around the world may have been accessed as part of realistic reservation-hijacking scams.
Amazon is moving packages in Japan on the Shinkansen as part of its efforts to have neutral carbon emissions.
Meet the wet bulb globe temperature, the ominous measure that shows when it's too hot to go outside.
So far this year, authorities have seized or demanded ballots from elections in four states. Experts fear the trend could throw the midterms into chaos unless courts draw a line.
Samsung has teamed up with diabetes experts at Massachusetts General Hospital to see how Galaxy Watch 8 can help prevent muscle loss in GLP-1 patients.
The beleaguered luxury phone maker is pushing the AlphaFold, which has decent specs and comes with Vertu’s new Hermes Agent on board, to wealthy would-be buyers.
Whether you’re looking for a Herman Miller promo code or discounts in their sale, here is how to save on the world's best ergonomic office furniture this month.
Last.fm is now an independent company, nearly two decades after it was acquired by CBS.
Advances in adapters mean you could ditch Wi-Fi for better performance.
The ASUS ROG Zephyrus Duo is a gamer's dream machine, but its price is a nightmare.
GoPro's Mission 1 Pro action cam has a big 1-inch sensor that offers sharp, color accurate 8K 60 fps and 4K 240 fps video.
The Fitbit Air is a serious rival to Whoop and other screenless wearable trackers thanks to its solid hardware, comprehensive software and competitive pricing.
Our first look at a complete version of Ferrari's upcoming luxury EV that was designed by LoveFrom.
Entertainment
Chris Brown's security guard says he personally handed over close to $40K to the singer's ex-housekeeper after his dog allegedly attacked her ... according to the transcript of his deposition. Emil Lewis -- the security supervisor for Chris Brown…
President Trump will be at Madison Square Garden for an NBA Finals game, but Bill Bradley, former U.S. Senator and N.Y. Knicks star, says he won't be the center of attention! The Knicks alum has some advice for the Prez, saying ... "If [Trump] goes…
Lexy Panterra twerked her way to stardom, and the famous dancer has now landed a major runway moment at Louis Vuitton’s Swim Week in Miami. The 37-year-old recently auditioned for Miami Swim Week and backed up her stellar audition with a stack of…
TMZ may collect a share of sales or other compensation from links on this page. If your fight-night 'fit needs an update, there's never been a better time to rep your favorite MMA fighters. From champs to action fighters, repping your favorite…
Philly native Khia was 25 years old when her 2002 hit song "My Neck, My Back" reached Number 42 on the US Billboard Hot 100. This bop was the lead single from her debut studio album, "Thug Misses," and it found international success as well --…
Singer Amerie’s monthly income was revealed as part of her bitter divorce from her ex-husband, Lenny Nicholson ... TMZ has learned. TMZ obtained the divorce judgment from the case, which says the exes did not own any real property or joint bank…
Gayle King's ex-husband is apologizing for cheating on her nearly 40 years ago with her own friend ... and the apology comes after Gayle rehashed the pain in a recent podcast. William Bumpus tells TMZ ... "My deepest apologies to Gayle, to our…
O.J. Simpson trial witness Kato Kaelin and his wife, Nan Xue Kaelin, are ending their marriage after less than 5 years together ... TMZ has learned. According to docs, obtained by TMZ ... Kato and Nan filed a joint petition for dissolution in Los…
E. Jean Carroll, the former magazine columnist who accused President Trump of sexual assault, is the target of a federal criminal investigation ... according to multiple reports. The investigation is said to be looking into whether Carroll…
Keanu Reeves is going to bat for a director convicted of defrauding Netflix out of $11 Million ... and you can read the letter the actor sent to a federal judge, where Keanu asks for a light sentence for his friend. Keanu's letter was part of a…
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