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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Jordan Love threw for 288 yards and three touchdowns as the Green Bay Packers held off Bryce Young and the Carolina Panthers at Lambeau Field.
Christian Watson was rushed by ambulance to a hospital mid-game against the Carolina Panthers, only to ride it back to Lambeau Field in full pads.
The Milwaukee Brewers raised the Commissioner's Trophy at Lambeau Field as Sal Frelick attempted a Lambeau Leap after their World Series win.
Two helicopters collided midair near McMinnville Municipal Airport in Oregon, crashing in a field and forcing highway closures as the FAA investigates.
Three customers and two employees suffered symptoms after an industrial degreaser was mistakenly used to prepare margaritas at a North Carolina Chili's.
June Jones, who help led Hawai'i to its first-ever BCS Bowl appearance among more coaching accolades, has died at the age of 73 on Thursday.
Chad Pergram recalls slipping on the U.S. Capitol steps in front of Justin Trudeau and explores the ghostly history behind his unexpected fall.
Shankar Temple Grace allegedly stabbed two people at The Buzz Mill before fleeing in a pickup truck and crashing into an unoccupied vehicle.
Viral video shows PNC Bank employees pulling food vendor Hilario Cruz Cruz and his elotes cart safely inside as severe hail and wind hit Phoenix.
Christian Yelich delivered a touching postgame tribute to late Bob Uecker after the Milwaukee Brewers captured their first World Series title.
Satire
WESTCHESTER, NY — Charles Xavier, the beloved headmaster of Xavier's School For Gifted Youngsters, died this afternoon. He was 86 years old.
ST. PAUL, MN — Voter turnout for the Minnesota midterms is expected to exceed 130%, sources said.
Pope Leo XIV denounced the idea that a war could be justified by religion, claiming only peace is holy. What do you think?
The post Pope Asserts There No Such Thing As Holy War appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK, NY — At the direction of Mayor Zoran Mamdani, authorities detained a janitor who removed red graffiti from New York's 9/11 Memorial and have charged him with a hate crime.
SALT LAKE CITY, UT — The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is in the midst of preparations for what it says is the busiest time of the year for its missionaries — the one evening every year when everyone opens their doors: Halloween.
The post Mary Peltola Insists Scheme To Put Second Dan Sullivan On Ballot Orchestrated By Mary F. Peltola appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Saying the gesture would boost his party’s electoral prospects at a crucial moment, Republicans have been privately urging President Donald Trump to not be president in the run-up to next week’s midterms, sources confirmed today. “We tactfully suggested that Republicans up and do
U.S. — Sources confirmed on Thursday that, following a raid on Rep. Ilhan Omar's home on October 12, DHS officials seized her mobile phone, but decided to let her keep a pager.
The post Head Removed For National Anthem appeared first on The Onion.
MILWAUKEE, WI — Drunken partiers stumbling down the streets of downtown Milwaukee were reportedly surprised to learn the Brewers had won the World Series.
NEW YORK—In an effort to boost the local man’s self-esteem, People magazine reportedly did single buddy Dominic Johnson a favor Thursday by naming him the “Sexiest Man Alive.” “Sure, Sterling K. Brown or Alan Ritchson might have him beat in the looks department, but Dom’s a good guy, and
Wicker, a new romantic fantasy film, stars Olivia Colman as a fisherwoman and Alexander Skarsgård as the husband who was created for her by a basket weaver. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the movie. Q: Who is this movie for? A: People too ashamed to share what they’re reading.
The post Trump’s Eyes Roll Back After Receiving Vision Of Muscular Asses That Have Not Yet Come To Pass appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—Thrashing about in his navy blue suit as dirty water seeped into his mouth and nostrils, President Donald Trump reportedly drowned Wednesday in a two-inch puddle. Sources who wished to remain anonymous told reporters they observed Trump slip on a wet stone paver as he strode en rout
Since 1974, Stephen King has published more than 65 novels and novellas. The Orion identifies the horror master's five best and five worst works.
The post Stephen King’s Best And Worst Books appeared first on The Onion.
Sci-fi thriller Sanxingdui: Future Past, the first fully AI-generated feature film to receive a theatrical release, debuted in China, though ticket sales have been abysmal. What do you think?
The post First Fully AI-Generated Feature Film Released In China appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
Carolina made a game of it late, but Green Bay held on for the Thursday night win.
The Red Wings announced Thursday that star forward Dylan Larkin has been suspended without pay after informing the team he no longer wanted to play for Detroit.
Christian Watson was determined to get back on the field Thursday despite coughing up blood and having to take an ambulance ride to get an X-ray and a CT scan.
The NFL fined Caleb Williams $23,882 for sporting Caddix cleats in Week 7, a source confirmed to ESPN on Thursday.
The freshman phenoms, transfer stars, returning stalwarts and fifth-year hopefuls who could shape the season.
The Packers' Josh Jacobs said he was surprised his first-half TD celebration was perceived by some as mocking his May arrest, saying it was an ode to a gospel song.
Allisha Gray scored 23 points as the Dream held off a late rally for an 80-69 victory over the Valkyries to force a historic Game 7 of the WNBA Finals.
Longtime college and pro football coach June Jones, who helped popularize the run-and-shoot offense, has died at 73.
Missouri All-America tailback Ahmad Hardy is set to make his season debut for the Tigers this weekend at Arkansas, sources told ESPN.
Five-star point guard Reese Alston announced he has committed to LSU, giving Tigers coach Will Wade his third top-25 recruit in the 2027 class.
Beyond the obvious home runs, big hits and run-scoring moments, don ‘t forget these plays — one from each of the Brewers’ 11 wins — that helped lead to them winning their first World Series title.
Will the Eagles trade Saquon Barkley? Will they start preparing for life without Jalen Hurts and Nick Sirianni? We answer the biggest questions surrounding the Eagles, with some insight around the league.
Jordan Love should be considered an MVP candidate is among the things we learned from the Packers' win over the Panthers.
Tom Brady wants officials to give defenses some grace when it comes to hitting the quarterback.
Here's a look at the coaching changes that could have a major impact on the 2026-27 men's college basketball season.
Here are five NFL trade deadline deals that make sense for both sides and — that we want to see.
Missouri running back Ahmad Hardy, who suffered a gunshot wound this offseason, will make his season debut Saturday against Arkansas.
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Tech
The adaptation will be directed by Karyn Kusama, and scripted by the writers of The Invitation.
Twitter Circle, anyone?
Trying to make everyone happy could make no one happy.
The site's data is reportedly intact, but the cause of the outage is still unknown.
This week, the Pentagon released a full-resolution image of the vehicle, the capabilities of which remain rather mysterious.
The company is starting with tests outside of the US.
Hey, that's not what Magic Eraser is supposed to do!
Adding sponsored content in more markets could make the feature profitable.
The company says an unnamed third-party provider was compromised. Trading has resumed, and Polymarket says affected traders will be made whole.
Some of the brand’s best styles, including the Nothing Headphone (1) and CMF Headphone Pro, are at the lowest prices I’ve ever seen ahead of Black Friday.
Just what the Sandworm bucket needed: a second hole.
Wired has the story of a superuser cheating scandal.
The streamer also has an Assassin's Creed series in the works, along with a Gears of War feature film.
Sources tell WIRED that an Accenture employee’s personal Claude agent ran on a DOD network for two months before it was identified and the vulnerability could be patched.
The popular Ridge Wallet lives up to the hype and is on sale, along with other Ridge gear. Plus, you can try it risk-free for 99 days.
A new startup called &Truth is joining the race to automate formal verification, a painstaking process that uses math to prove software works as intended.
The French AI lab claims its latest release matches or outperforms even the best models from DeepSeek and Z.ai in coding and cybersecurity.
As WIRED’s resident pet tech tester, I have lots of opinions on what’s worth your money. Petkit’s automatic litter boxes are my top picks—and my favorite models are $100 off right now.
Looking to better protect your Kindle or add a little personality to your favorite e-reader? From cases and covers to page-turners and stickers, this is the guide for you.
Anthropic and OpenAI say they’ve disproved a key tenet of computer science. Researchers are struggling with the fall but also feel like “overexcited bunnies” as they look at new questions to explore.
Entertainment
American actor Judah Lewis was 16 years old when he played Cole -- the innocent, introverted kid who kills his babysitter -- in the horror/comedy film "The Babysitter" back in 2017. Juda was part of an ensemble cast including Samara Weaving, Bella…
Sir Ian McKellen was hit hard by the death of his close friend and collaborator, Sir Patrick Stewart ... mourning the loss of a legend. Ian remembered his friend saying, "He wore his heart on his sleeve, which made him a man to rely on, to admire…
Duane “Keffe D” Davis, the man convicted of orchestrating Tupac Shakur’s 1996 murder, has been transferred to a maximum-security prison in the Las Vegas area ... just weeks after being sentenced to spend decades behind bars. According to Las…
Paul Wesley is reflecting on the loss of a fellow 'Star Trek' captain ... revealing he had the chance to meet Patrick Stewart before his death. We caught up with Paul at LAX Thursday, and the "Star Trek: Strange New Worlds" actor -- who plays…
Patrick Stewart was beloved by millions ... but the late actor once revealed he was practically a stranger to his own children. The "Star Trek" icon opened up about his strained relationship with son Daniel and daughter Sophie -- whom he shared…
A driver in New York City hopped a curb and plowed into a Halloween event hosted by the NYPD ... injuring several people, including a child. The driver -- who New York Post reports is a 56-year-old man -- allegedly lost control of a black sedan and…
Savannah Chrisley and Jason Galanis aren't getting married soon ... because they've apparently already tied the knot. According to marriage records -- originally obtained by People -- Savannah and Jason got married at a Baptist church in the Cayman…
Simon Guobadia is in hot water with the feds ... he's been indicted for allegedly filing false tax returns ... TMZ has learned. According to court documents obtained by TMZ, the ex-husband of "Real Housewives of Atlanta" star Porsha Williams was…
Sir Patrick Stewart is being remembered by co-stars, famous friends, and celeb fans as the world mourns the loss of the iconic actor. Tributes from celebs like "X-Men" co-star Hugh Jackman, fellow "Star Trek" alum William Shatner, and more are…
William Shatner is saying goodbye to his fellow 'Star Trek' captain Patrick Stewart ... remembering the late actor as a dear friend and a true legend of stage and screen. William paid tribute to Patrick in a social media post Thursday, writing ...…
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