US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow • Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson • Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Guangtian Ha, a Haverford College religion professor, faces a federal indictment over alleged antisemitic cyberstalking of a Jewish colleague.
Anita Meston says she was fired from a United Kingdom school after telling a student she was pro-life, and her case now heads to an employment tribunal.
Kai Trump shared a hospital bed photo after wrist surgery at Hospital for Special Surgery, putting her University of Miami golf season on hold.
From bulk Halloween candy to Christmas decorations and cozy fall essentials, these are the October deals worth shopping.
The Greensboro Police Department's tweet about speeding and "Raise hell, Praise Dale" sparked a massive backlash from NASCAR fans and Dale Jr. alike.
Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine's executive order defies the NCAA's eligibility rule, but Charlie Baker fired back that one governor cannot legislate NCAA rules.
Kai Trump shared a hospital bed selfie after wrist surgery to repair a golf injury sustained during her first University of Miami tournament.
The FBI mocked MS NOW after the network reported Kash Patel had landed in Russia, revealing he was actually at Liberty University in Virginia.
The U.S. military detected 378 cartel drone incursions along the Mexico border in 30 days, and experts warn cartels will continue to innovate.
Caitlin Clark and the Indiana Fever delivered the biggest WNBA regular-season audience on all seven broadcast platforms during the 2026 season.

Satire
The Onion selects the best books to take on vacation this year. The post America’s Greatest Inventions appeared first on The Onion.
LAS VEGAS, NV — Singer-songwriter Kelly Clarkson's hit new single "I'd Like To Speak To Your Manager" is now available on Apple Music and Spotify.
LOS ANGELES, CA — A bold new study theorizes that ancient peoples from the 1990s were able to make a season of a TV show in less than three years.
FRANKLIN, TN — Fandom of a revered intellectual property became outraged this week, as legions of loyal fans bemoaned what they saw as a desecration of their favorite stories after they watched the new trailer for the reboot of Baywatch.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the Minnesota congresswoman still under scrutiny for alleged immigration violations, federal investigators informed Ilhan Omar that this all could have been legal if she had lived in Arkansas.
SPRINGFIELD, MO — One young member of a local congregation found himself feeling despondent about his future, as the youth group boy was doomed to lifelong singleness after failing to stack chairs correctly.
BROOKFIELD, WI—Tracking a shift to a more sustainable and budget-friendly method of handling human remains, a report released Wednesday by the National Funeral Directors Association found that an increasing number of Americans were opting to be buried in an unknowing neighbor’s backyard. “As t
MECHANICSBURG, PA — Comedian Shane Gillis is facing backlash from a joke he said during the opening monologue of the October 10 episode of SNL, which Southern Baptist preachers allege he ripped straight out of their 1995 sermons.
The post Corn Named World’s Sexiest Plant appeared first on The Onion.
The post Lewis Hamilton Figures It Probably Too Late To Ask Girlfriend Which One She Is appeared first on The Onion.
As artificial intelligence continues to advance, it's becoming harder and hard to tell what's real and what isn't. Can you tell which is which? Test yourself with our quiz:
HEAVEN — According to angelic sources, the Almighty God decided to move up the date of the apocalypse after seeing the trailer for the new Narnia movie directed by Greta Gerwig.
If you're considering becoming Christian, you've probably heard all of the big, flashy benefits, such as being cleansed of your sins and welcomed into the eternal, loving home of your Creator. Nice! But there's even more where that came from.
HARAN — Following a night of wine and music, Jacob reportedly began to assure his new bride Rachel that he hadn't gotten that drunk at the wedding last night, only to discover he had, in fact, gotten that drunk.
The post Will Trump Running For Midterm President Help Down-Ballot Republicans? appeared first on The Onion.
EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Fanning hype for its upcoming open-world sandbox game by teasing a copious collection of tracks from the legendary singer-songwriter and film composer, Rockstar Games announced in a press release Tuesday that the Grand Theft Auto VI soundtrack would contain 10,000 songs by Rand
Interactions between the president and the free press have been central to the United States since the nation’s founding. The Onion takes a look back at key moments that have shaped the executive branch’s relationship with the Fourth Estate. 1803 Local busybody Arthur Swipple wanders into the Wh
The post Late Uncle Remembered As Man Who Had Can Crusher In Garage appeared first on The Onion.
ARLINGTON, VA—Saying it was disappointing to enter the smoothie shop and not be greeted by streamers or decorations, local man Ryan Hunter confirmed Tuesday that workers at Sweetgrass Juicery were not as excited for his birthday as the marketing email had suggested they were. “Yesterday I got th
In the Russian city of Irkutsk, the death of a plague researcher from a mysterious illness has stoked fears of an outbreak. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the emerging situation. Q: What is the Irkutsk Anti-Plague Research Institute? A: An on-the-nose alibi. Q: Should I be worrie

Sports
Larry Fitzgerald, Jaxon Smith-Njigba are among those endorsing the Buckeyes star.
As Jeremiah Smith continues to amaze, Bill Connelly looks at where his career fits among the best ever.
Which teams must win immediately, with their current cores, and which could bide their time and win later instead? We ranked all 30.
Vinícius Junior has been handed a four-game ban for his sending-off in Real Madrid's LaLiga win over Villarreal and will miss this month's Clásico with Barcelona.
The start time for Game 3 of the ALCS on Thursday was moved up five hours to 1 p.m. ET due to expected inclement weather.
Patriots cornerback Christian Gonzalez said Wednesday he's ready to return after missing the past two games with a shoulder injury.
FIFA is set to amend its rules to prevent a repeat of the controversial reversal of the World Cup suspension issued to Folarin Balogun, sources have told ESPN.
There's no mercy for Texas: One loss and the Longhorns land on our dubious list.
Falcons quarterback Michael Penix Jr. will start Sunday against the Bears despite a rib injury, as long as there are no setbacks during the week.
See the complete 2026 MLB playoff schedule by round, including Wild Card, Division Series, LCS and World Series dates and TV channels.
Jim Leonhard’s patience is being tested by a porous Buffalo Bills defense that’s giving up too many points, too many yards and having difficulty stopping opponents on fourth down.
After five weeks, there's a new favorite at the top of the NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year oddsboard. Here's the latest.
The start time for Game 4 of the NLCS between the Milwaukee Brewers and Los Angeles Dodgers has been moved up.
Real Madrid forward Vinicius Junior has been banned for four league matches, including the “clasico" against Barcelona, after pulling the hair of an opponent in Saturday’s 1-0 win over Villarreal.
Michigan’s football team might have some help on the way this season, thanks to a judge.
Ravens QB Lamar Jackson was absent again at practice Wednesday, as the Baltimore superstar continues to deal with an ankle injury.
The AFC has a tie at the top, while one team stands alone in the NFC. Who’s favored to earn each conference’s No. 1 seed? See the latest odds.
After diving into the All-22 coaches' film from Week 5, Bucky Brooks examines four new developments to watch.
A new favorite has emerged on the NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year oddsboard. See the latest.

Tech
Google's latest wearable seems like a Fitbit Air with a screen, but the two actually have less in common than you might think.
AI may soon be the default way to solve theoretical problems in economics, high-energy physics, and other fields, MIT researchers tell WIRED.
The $50 Xbox Nano Controller is five inches long and weighs 3.5 ounces.
Seven of 16 planetary vital signs are in their most extreme state ever recorded, and El Niño is here to make matters even worse.
Brian K. Vaughan claims he’s seen Dune: Part Three and it’s “a fucking beautiful movie.”
The Form Studio 1 is a $699 desktop-sized printer that fits on a desk and only stinks a little bit.
The second iteration of the viral Friend AI necklace is louder and less interesting.
The Breville Eye Q uses optical sensors to measure the darkness of your toast. Cool tech, but the toasting quality needs improvement.
A mysterious super PAC that doubles as a pro-solar-energy outfit is funding some of the most knives-out attack ads of the midterms season.
This compact, plucky ride is the cargo ebike for people who don’t want a cargo ebike. It’s even fun to ride.
a certain kind of person writes in all lowercase now. why?
Nothing’s best headphones yet double down on design, comfort, sound quality, and highly adjustable EQ settings.

Entertainment
Kate Gosselin's getting a ton of support online amid a series of allegations her son, Collin, made against her ... and she's showing love for the fans standing behind her. The former reality star posted a TikTok about her dog recently ... but after…
A group of North Carolina cops allegedly turned racial profiling into a competition ... challenging each other to see who could pull over the most Black drivers. According to WBTV, officers with the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department were…
The deadly roller coaster accident at Six Flags Over Georgia didn't come as a huge shock to one man, who claims the ride was having safety issues months before the tragedy. Entrepreneur Nick Specter-Vlacic says he rode the park's Goliath roller…
"Ghost Adventures" star Zak Bagans is giving his Vegas museum a morbid update ... he's now displaying a letter Christa Pike sent to a pen pal from prison ... plus a lock of her hair. Zak tells TMZ ... he started displaying Christa's hair and…
The Federal Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) is investigating who supplied ketamine at the Cornell frat party where Jane Doe claims she was raped. Sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ ... the DEA is working with local law enforcement to hunt…
RJ Mitte's sister is spreading the love her brother is receiving online ... resharing loving posts from others on her own social media. Lacianne Carriere -- RJ's sister -- has posted several messages from people honoring RJ to her own Instagram ...…
The family of the man killed on a roller coaster at Six Flags Over Georgia is warning people not to fall for bogus fundraisers popping up in his name ... declaring they don't need anyone's money. Hassan Jihad Ibn Kariem's family tells TMZ ... they…
Zach Hickerson called 911 after he and his brother Brian found Hayden Panettiere unresponsive in a South Carolina Airbnb ... and 911 audio features dispatchers telling him how to give Hayden CPR. CBS News obtained the 911 call from Hayden's August…
Dr. Michael Kotlikoff -- the president of Cornell University -- is personally apologizing to Jane Doe for her experience at the Ivy League school ... and it sounds like he won't resign. The New York Times sat down with Kotlikoff for a wide-ranging…
It's a wicked-hot Wednesday, and this adult film star is ready for you to PLUG in and guess who she is. Here are your clues: She kicked off her content creator career a decade ago through fitness videos, vlogs, and lifestyle content, before…

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