Personalize Your Own Homepage
Login
Create Account
US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Sen. Kennedy says he'll "shed no tears" for Iran's ayatollah, praising President Donald Trump's "political will" to stop the regime's nuclear weapon pursuit.
Former Louisiana mayor Misty Roberts convicted of having sex with minor after teenage son caught her with his friend at alcohol-fueled pool party in DeRidder.
Nelson family nearly lost "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet" after Ricky Nelson's death left estate millions in debt, but twin sons refused bankruptcy to save legacy.
Coast Guard investigates the death of "Deadliest Catch" deckhand Todd Meadows, who fell overboard while fishing near Alaska aboard the Aleutian Lady vessel.
Former Democrat Tano Tijerina wins Republican primary with 74% of vote, setting up November battle against Rep. Henry Cuellar in Texas' 28th district.
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff General Dan “Razin" Caine honored the six fallen U.S. service members killed in Kuwait while supporting Operation Epic Fury.
Israel said it carried out airstrikes targeting Iran's security apparatus as both Israeli and U.S. officials hint at a regime change and popular uprising.
North Carolina Senate candidate Michael Whatley attacks Democratic opponent Roy Cooper over Charlotte light rail stabbing ahead of Tuesday's primary.
Susan Powter lost her 1990s wellness empire to financial collapse, spent nine years driving for Uber Eats, then used technology and social media to rebuild her brand.
Hegseth says the leader behind effort to assassinate Trump has been 'hunted down and killed' in Iran
The Iranian leader of a unit that attempted to assassinate President Trump has been killed in Iran amid Operation Epic Fury, War Secretary Pete Hegseth said Wednesday.
Satire
MINNEAPOLIS—Bleeding profusely as he radioed for backup against the uncooperative crowd, Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent Ken Fischer was reportedly injured Tuesday after making repeated attempts to detain the people in a neighborhood mural. “I’ve got a couple dozen hostile and extrem
LOS ANGELES—Unveiling the procurement at the opening of the new exhibition Fanaticals: Cinema’s Most Fearsome Freaks, the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures announced this week that it had acquired the original Disney adult. “We are thrilled to confirm that self-professed ‘Disnerd’ Rick T
They don’t need them, so it’s your win. And if you don’t need more mugs, then just leave your mugs with your current home. Let’s all just stop taking mugs with us whenever we move. That could start right here with this house. Reference #88225
The post Comes With The Mugs appeared first on Th
Ortega was married off to Lazarus in a peacekeeping deal aimed at easing tensions between Indianapolis and Cincinnati.
The post Adam Lazarus and Hayden Ortega appeared first on The Onion.
FALLON, NV — Local Pentecostal Christian Glenn Fuller reportedly beat all his friends at Scrabble yet again thanks to his miraculous ability to spell out all words in tongues.
WACO, TX — According to sources, a lame local church doesn't even have its own app.
U.S. — According to sources, a new reusable water bottle now requires the user to sign into their Google account in order to open it.
WORLD — World leaders pleaded with Israel and the United States to stop attacking Iran this week in an emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council, warning that if World War III doesn't end soon, it would likely distract from Taylor Swift's wedding.
Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the theocratic dictator who ruled Iran for over 36 years, was killed in a massive U.S. and Israeli military operation, with the Iranian government announcing 40 days of public mourning following the death of the 86-year-old leader. What do you think?
The post Ayatollah Killed
U.S. — American economists warned the public on Tuesday that the entire global economic system depends entirely on "like two or three guys" at Nvidia who understand how computers work.
BOSTON—Amid continued speculation about when the injured Celtics star might return to action, head coach Joe Mazzulla told reporters Tuesday that Jayson Tatum would remain sidelined until he successfully completed the “Mazzulla Logic-Puzzle Meridian,” a riddle- and reason-based gauntlet he dev
DOVER, DE — In the wake of the highly successful decapitation of Iran's tyrannical dictatorship, former American president Joe Biden asked why Trump didn't just bomb the Ayatollah in the leg.
The post Human Arm Hanging Limply Out Of Food Delivery Robot appeared first on The Onion.
Mitch Nagler, 92, died peacefully last Thursday, at last relinquishing his stranglehold on the best easy chair in the Silver Pines Retirement Community sunroom.
The post Mitch Nagler appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—While recognizing the small detail was of no real significance in the greater scheme of an escalating war with Iran, the entire U.S. populace admitted Tuesday that it was still curious to hear how President Donald Trump would pronounce “Strait of Hormuz.” “He’s gonna have to say
Sports
With under 100 days to go until the 2026 World Cup, how do all the major contenders -- and the three co-hosts -- look in terms of rosters and starters? We break down how things stand as the countdown heats up.
From the locks to the long shots to those in between, we count Cooperstown candidates in this year's World Baseball Classic.
With new coaches, quarterbacks and transfers, we look at the ACC as camps get ready to open.
Which teams put together the best combination of recruits and transfers? We'll see who impacts 2026.
Did your national team make the cut? And who do we think will challenge hardest?
Here's what you need to know about 2026 free agency. We picked out everything from players who might break the bank to sleepers to watch.
Could Kenneth Walker III and Malik Willis get a lot of interest from teams? Let's stack the best free agents.
From star sluggers like Ohtani and Judge to top pitchers like Skubal, we rank -- and make predictions for -- the best players in baseball right now.
Team USA is favored to win the WBC, but Will Hill sees value in betting another juggernaut.
Sunday's reveal put a new team in the top 16. The start of Champ Week will bring more answers as the bracket comes into focus.
Tennessee came away impressed from the combine with the draft's top running back prospect.
Chris "The Bear" Fallica peered into his 2026 college football crystal ball, and things are looking rosy for a few squads. For others? Not so much.
A bettor came close to winning seven figures. Then, the USA struck gold. Patrick Everson breaks down that losing wager, along with a few lucky winners.
These are the top 10 moments in World Baseball Classic history.
Claim the bet365 Sportsbook promo code which give you $150 in bonus bets.
Compare the best sports betting apps and sites for 2026. See reviews, bonuses, and features to help choose the right sportsbook for your needs.
Only one men's college basketball team remains undefeated in the 2025-2026 season.
Arizona State stunned No. 14 Kansas, handing the Jayhawks a second straight loss and the third in their last four games.
The World Cup is defined by memorable moments. Counting down to the top 100 of all-time.
LIV golfer Anthony Kim reflected on his victory in Australia.
Tech
At $599, Apple's entry-level MacBook Neo is the most affordable laptop the company has ever made.
Apple had promised a “big week” for the company as rumors swirled that it had a number of product announcements lined up. True enough, it unveiled a half-dozen new and refreshed devices over the last few days, along with more powerful chips for MacBook Pros.The news started on Monday with the an
The most interesting product Apple announced this week was its cheapest and least powerful laptop, the MacBook Neo. It’s just fascinating to see the company tackle an entirely new category — it’s not a premium ultraportable like the MacBook Air, and it’s not a computing powerhouse like the M
Meet the MacBook Neo, Apple’s long-rumored low-cost Mac. Powered by the A18 Pro chip from the iPhone 16 Pro series, the $599 MacBook Neo is Apple’s first attempt at delivering a genuinely affordable Mac laptop. (Ironically, it comes after Apple raised the base prices of the new MacBook Air M5 an
As if you needed reminding, next week is March 10, or MAR10 Day, as the marketing wizards at Nintendo have been calling it for the last decade or so. You can usually rely on Mario Day for some plumber-related goodies, and Nintendo has announced that three retro games are coming to Nintendo Switch On
Whether you want a beast of a machine with dedicated graphics or a light, easy-to-upgrade PC, we have the perfect rig for you.
The future is here, and it is jacked up on B vitamins, red dye, and taurine. These are the best energy drinks to get from tired to wired.
If you’ve ever wondered if TikTok would ever offer a more secure messaging experience, you now have an answer. TikTok has told the BBC that it will not protect direct messages sent in the app with end-to-end encryption, because it believes it will make users less safe. In a briefing about security
Prepping for warmer weather? Marshall's midsize portable Bluetooth speaker sounds as good as it looks.
Protect your home against dust, pets, allergies, and more with air purifiers tested firsthand by WIRED.
A new psychedelic retreat calling itself a “SETI for the mind” aims to establish two-way communication with the nonhuman entities people encounter while tripping on DMT.
Kalshi lets you place bets on everything from football games to foreign invasions. The prediction market’s CEO, Tarek Mansour, says this doesn’t count as gambling—and is actually good for society.
Rhythm games never really went away after the decline of Guitar Hero and Rock Band, but it feels like they’re having a bit of a moment again. From projects like Clone Hero and YARG, to Fortnite Festival and Stage Tour (an upcoming title from Guitar Hero veterans at RedOctane), to indies with rhyth
From massage guns to compression boots and LED face masks, these are the top performers in Therabody's wellness lineup.
No one has had a Synchron brain-computer interface longer than Rodney Gorham. He's still finding new ways to use it.
Vinyl records are firmly back in rotation, but getting started does not have to mean spending a fortune or building a complicated hi-fi stack from day one. Whether you want a simple, all-in-one setup with built-in speakers or you are piecing together a more traditional system with a separate amplifi
If you're looking to pre-order Apple's new Studio Display XDR monitor today but have an older Mac, beware of some potential issues. According to the compatibility list spotted by Apple Insider, the new display will only work at 60Hz and not at its full 120Hz refresh rate on some older and less power
Google is partnering with Back Market to sell USB sticks that let you install ChromeOS Flex on older Windows and Intel-powered Macs collecting dust.
Meta has signed an AI licensing deal with News Corp that will allow the Meta AI maker to use content from The Wall Street Journal and other brands in its chatbot responses and for training of its AI models. News Corp confirmed to Engadget that it had struck a deal with Meta, but didn't provide speci
Highguard, the live-service multiplayer shooter that was announced at the Game Awards 2025, is shutting down on March 12. Developer Wildlight Studios shared that the game would be winding down alongside details of its final update, which include a new character, weapon and skill trees."Today we’re
Entertainment
James Marsters has been paying his ex-wife Patricia Jasmin Rahman thousands in spousal support for nearly five years ... but it appears the monthly payments will end soon. According to the divorce judgment, the veteran actor agreed to pay a base…
Tiger Woods had some special guests at his TGL event on Tuesday -- not only were Travis and Jason Kelce soaking in all the action ... but his girlfriend, Vanessa Trump, was there in support, too!! The night was pretty nuts -- Tom Kim nailed a…
A new interview is revealing more details about the accident that killed "Deadliest Catch" deckhand Todd Meadows last week ... as the incident was "unfortunately" caught on camera, according to Meadows' bunkmate Trey John Green III. Green told Us…
Anderson .Paak's divorce is starting to pick up movement ... with his estranged wife requesting primary physical custody of their 2 kids -- and spousal support. The musician's estranged wife Jae Lin filed legal docs in L.A., obtained by TMZ,…
Valerie Bertinelli has come forward about a harrowing time in her life ... saying she was sexually abused at the age of 11. The famous chef opened up about her assault in an interview with People while promoting her upcoming memoir, 'Getting…
A former mayor of a small Louisiana city is in big trouble ... she was found guilty at trial for having sex with her son's 16-year-old buddy during an alcohol-filled pool party, according to news reports. Misty Roberts -- ex-mayor of DeRidder, LA,…
David and Victoria Beckham may not have spoken to their eldest child Brooklyn Beckham in months ... but they're making sure he feels the birthday love as he turns 27. That's right -- the famous couple took a moment to celebrate Brooklyn's special…
Gavin Newsom gave all those California haters on the right a piece of his mind on "Jimmy Kimmel Live," saying they all have Fox News derangement while also giving a shoutout to TMZ! The California governor sat down with Jimmy Kimmel on Tuesday…
Megan Fox's stunning return to Instagram with a series of sexy photos had her fans going nuts on Tuesday — including her ex, Machine Gun Kelly, who couldn't help but let the world know how he felt! MGK hopped into Megan's comments after seeing…
Porsha Williams Slams Ex-Husband Simon Guobadia’s ‘Deceptive Tactics’ in Erectile Dysfunction Battle
6:02 AM PT -- Simon Guobadia tells TMZ, “My ex-wife's motion is a deflection. She entered a marriage of 14 months and has now spent 23 months litigating my hard-earned wealth. The pattern speaks for itself.” He added, “What I find notable is…