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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Nick Martinez's dominant road ERA and stellar record against New York could spell trouble for the Yankees as Tampa Bay looks to close out the series.
Chicago White Sox host American League Division Series Game 3 looking to close out Cleveland, but Foster Griffin could extend the Guardians' season.
Declassified emails reveal the FBI's Washington Field Office told the DOJ it lacked probable cause for the Mar-a-Lago raid weeks before it happened.
Max Fried confirmed he's expecting a baby "any day now" but vows nothing will stop him from taking the mound for the New York Yankees in the Bronx.
Remembering Oct. 7 requires moral clarity, resisting antisemitism and recognizing the deep biblical roots of the Jewish people in their homeland — a vital truth for American leaders.
Save 40% on Ninja's Flip 8-in-1 toaster oven and air fryer during the final hours of Amazon's October Prime Day.
Kyle Juszczyk successfully argued his celebration mimicked drinking juice, not beer, and even called out the NFL's own Bud Light sponsorships.
President Donald Trump announced a 40% taxpayer stake in Anduril's Arsenal-2 shipyard subsidiary, adding government ownership to the $6.6 billion deal.
The Supreme Court declined to hear Mark Cohen's First Amendment appeal after the Pennsylvania judge was suspended over dozens of political Facebook posts.
CNN's Daniel Dale and other media figures pushed back on claims that Trump suggested Iran should attack Los Angeles and San Diego at a rally.
Satire
President Trump announced that he is sending $90 checks to senior citizens enrolled in Medicare to offset the cost of rising premiums, amounting to $2 billion in total as he attempts to shore up flagging support from the crucial voting block before the upcoming midterms. What do you think?
The post
WASHINGTON—As they emerged from their smoldering, star-spangled chronochamber and urged the public to heed a consequential message, time travelers from the year 2376 attempted to warn the nation Saturday of a future in which the United States was still perfect. “Americans, we come to you on you
LOS ANGELES, CA — Singer-actress Ariana Grande was excited to make some extra money this fall as she landed the role of a lifetime as a Halloween lawn skeleton, sources confirmed.
MESOPOTAMIA — Having sown his proverbial wild oats, Noah decided that, having turned 500 years old, it was finally time to settle down and start having kids.
Disgraced former House Speaker Dennis Hastert has died at 84, the Republican having once been imprisoned for a hush money scheme intended to cover up his repeated molestation of teen athletes. What do you think?
The post Dennis Hastert Dies appeared first on The Onion.
NEW YORK—Urging incoming players to avoid the financial pitfalls that have derailed so many promising careers, the NBA reportedly reminded rookies Tuesday not to blow their first paycheck on a big-ass snake. “The first time you see all those zeroes in your bank account, you’re going to be temp
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ — New York Giants quarterback Jameis Winston was placed in the NFL's concussion protocol by team trainers after he gave a coherent answer during an after-practice interview.
The Pentagon officially approved execution by firing squad for the Fort Hood shooter, but that's not the only crime the military is seeking the death penalty for these days.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump approved the execution of Nidal Malik Hasand on Monday, confirming that he would be tied to a bomb and dropped on the country of Iran.
PARIS — At long last, the Palestinian people finally have a land to truly call their own.
Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and MAHA influencers have promoted the use of peptides, short-chain amino acids with a range of purported but often unsubstantiated health benefits. The Onion examines the pros and cons of these supplements. PRO Have met same rigorous safety standards as Kranke
WASHINGTON—In an effort to get ahead of the forthcoming criticisms of how they squandered such a commanding lead in the polls, the Democratic National Committee released a preemptive autopsy Tuesday into why their party lost the 2026 midterm elections. “Upon careful analysis, it’s clear our or
WASHINGTON—Faced with a weekend of dismal ticket sales that ranked among the worst in the megastar’s career, a smiling, unblinking Tom Cruise calmly stated Monday that he just wanted to know why the nation didn’t turn out to see his new movie Digger. “Relax, I’m not gonna fly off the hand
DARLINGTON, OH—In an obvious attempt to appeal to the county’s different demographic, U.S. House of Representatives candidate Jim Richardson reportedly showed up Monday to a campaign event in a rural part of Ohio’s 12 Congressional District with a different wife. “It’s natural for a candi
Trump has directed his administration to build a triumphal arch in Washington, D.C., to commemorate the nation’s 250th anniversary. The Onion looks at the key facts and figures behind the new monument. 4 Barrons tall at highest point 17 Engraved typos 1 Additional arch needed to make McDonald’s
Sports
Lionel Messi marked his 208th and final game for Argentina with his 126th goal as his country bid an emotional farewell to the global icon.
Strength of schedule rankings for the rest of 2026 can clarify the best players to trade for or away.
Whether you are 4-0 or 0-4, setting a smart Week 5 lineup starts with sorting the facts from your feelings.
The Jaguars will become the first NFL team since 1926 to play in 12 or more stadiums in a single season.
Could injuries to Saquon Barkley, Lamar Jackson and others derail their teams? Which AFC teams should trade for a WR? Which coordinators could get head coach interest?
Yoshinobu Yamamoto dominated the much-anticipated matchup with Atlanta ace Chris Sale, and Kiké Hernández hit a two-run homer as the Dodgers beat the Braves 3-1 to take a 2-1 lead in the NLDS.
Members of the EuroLeague rejected a formal offer from the NBA this week to merge and create a single NBA Europe operation, sources told ESPN.
Ever since the NHL's all-time goals leader announced his retirement, ticket prices to Capitals games have been soaring -- and not just for home games.
The NFL has rescinded the $14,926 fine it imposed on the 49ers' Kyle Juszczyk for what it thought was a distasteful celebration of chugging a beer.
Coco Gauff lost to Elise Mertens, whom she had beaten in all five of their previous matchups, before saying she felt drained over the abusive comments she received during the China Open.
The tide has turned on a few teams thought to be playoff shoo-ins. See the latest odds to miss the postseason.
Deebo Samuel's trainer tells us how the wide receiver got his spark back, while we look into the unexpected success of a Chiefs rookie.
The Minnesota Vikings have signed veteran wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. to their practice squad.
College Football Playoff expansion might make sense on paper, but there's an Army-Navy game puzzle to solve.
Kasey Kahne is returning to NASCAR in a full-time ride in 2027 and he's ready for the competition and for the fun.
Which first-year college football coaches have met, exceeded or fallen short of expectations so far? FOX Sports' Joel Klatt weighs in.
Dodgers manager Dave Roberts raved about Kiké Hernández, who hit a two-run home run, after the team's Game 3 NLDS win over the Braves.
Check out the odds for every Week 5 matchup in the NFL.
The pennant races are as close as can be now that we're in the divisional round. See the latest odds.
The last three-peat took place from 1998-2000. Can the Dodgers make history? See the latest World Series odds.
Tech
The US government’s Tradewinds initiative has made it easier to throw millions of dollars at “nontraditional” defense contractors, including OpenAI, Anthropic, and Google.
Breville, Keurig, Fellow, and AeroPress gear we recommend is on sale, with options for espresso enthusiasts and one-button brewers alike.
Just bought a new phone or looking to enhance an existing one? Prime Day is the time to save on accessories like batteries, chargers, and more.
I’ve rounded up the best Amazon Prime Big Deal Days discounts on fitness trackers, percussive therapy, LED masks, and more.
Cisco's Dialog feature promises to turn "fragmented interactions into continuous customer relationships."
SynthID Detector will flag content created with AI tools from OpenAI, Google, Apple and other companies.
Ring's smart lock has a built-in hand crank to generate power when the batteries are dead.
Our team is tracking Prime Day price drops live to find all the best discounts. Check here for the latest coverage on all the sales we’re shopping ourselves.
The company said that most results were produced in a response to a single prompt given to a single AI agent.
Aaron Sorkin’s sequel to The Social Network attempts to shame a ruling class that has proved itself shameless.
Don't make Aaron Sorkin tap the sign.
Xreal’s long-hyped Aura glasses arrive soon for $1,279. Here’s how they fare against Meta’s recently announced VR Glasses.
More details on the Surface Laptop Ultra and NVIDIA RTX Spark are coming, but what else?
Xreal's Aura smartglasses are powered by Qualcomm's Snapdragon Reality Elite chip.
Google launches an AI-powered game creation platform called Playground.
Snag some gifts for your kiddos or unleash your inner child with the best Prime Day toy deals, including Lego, STEM toys, and board games.
Never pay full price. Bag yourself some Prime Day tech deals on our favorite WIRED-tested gadgets.
I’ve tested more than 100 headphones and covered nearly a dozen Prime Days. Here are some actually good headphone deals from the sale.
Ultrahuman is now offering on-demand heart rhythm scans to help you check for signs of Afib in real-time.
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella and NVIDIA CEO Jensen Huang join Windows and Devices chief Pavan Davuluri at the company's San Francisco event today.
Entertainment
New York congressional candidate Chris Gallant isn't exactly running from his kinky past ... in fact, he's leaning all the way in after photos blew the lid off his BDSM secret. Gallant -- the Democrat running against Republican Rep. Nick LaLota on…
Texas is moving forward with an execution just one week after Christa Pike survived a botched lethal injection in Tennessee ... and the condemned man's lawyers want to pump the brakes. Jamaal Howard is scheduled to be put to death Wednesday in…
Keshia Chanté is speaking out about rumors that she is set to give birth to Drake's kid ... hours after the rapper's rep told us he's NOT the father. A rep for Keshia tells TMZ ... her unborn son's father is a "public figure in music." The rep…
We now have permission to post the email a Cornell University police officer sent to higher-ups back on November 9, 2022, and it shows how frustrated he is that the administration is turning a blind eye to fraternity misdeeds. The email was sent 2…
Glen Powell says he and his girlfriend are aligned when it comes to the important stuff ... and he says it's nice to have someone rooting for you 100%. The actor opened up about his romance with the "Landman" star during a conversation with Esquire…
Angelina Jolie's lawyer is taking shots at Brad Pitt ... claiming his most recent failed attempt to get certain financial records from her is just another form of the actor trying to control the narrative. Here's the deal ... Brad previously asked…
Hayden Panettiere's ex, Wlad Klitschko, says he's putting up $30K of his own money to cover the late actress's tax bill … to prevent her estate from being hit with a ton of interest and penalties ... TMZ has learned. According to court docs,…
Memphis City Hall went off the rails Tuesday night ... after officials punted a vote tied to Elon Musk's massive data center operation ... and the chaos is on video. More than 100 people packed the meeting as council members weighed a proposed…
A man wanted for attempted murder was arrested at Trippie Redd's South Florida mansion during Tuesday's massive police raid ... TMZ has learned. The Miami Police Department tells TMZ ... officers were looking for 25-year-old Braveone Jones, who…
Chi Phi frat bros banded together after 7 brothers were accused of drugging and gang-raping a fellow Cornell student in 2024 ... telling investigators on camera they heard the sex was all consensual. In never-before-seen video obtained by ABC News,…
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