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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
A leaked hacking tool called DarkSword could expose older iPhones and iPads to attacks through malicious links and compromised websites.
Celebrity exodus to France continues as Hollywood stars trade industry pressure for French culture, privacy and better quality of life for their families, according to experts.
A House Ethics panel found Rep. Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick guilty of 25 violations while the Florida Democrat is facing possible expulsion and federal charges.
The Senate passed a DHS funding deal by voice vote, but the House faces uncertain math.
Trey Kaufman-Renn's tip-in with 0.7 seconds left gave Purdue a 79-77 Sweet 16 win over Texas, though debate sparked over a potential foul on the play.
Federal officials are probing whether transgender inmate housing policies in California and Maine violate female inmates' constitutional protections.
Academy Award-winning filmmaker Martin Scorsese explores the Virgin Mary's story of faith and sacrifice in a new Easter special episode of "The Saints."
Atlanta airport passengers waited five hours in TSA lines while Orlando's privatized security averaged 30 minutes, making the case for ending the government monopoly.
Former Dolton, Illinois 'super mayor' pushes for federal troops in Chicago after father shot in neck
Former Dolton Mayor Tiffany Henyard urged Illinois Gov. Pritzker and Chicago Mayor Johnson to accept federal assistance after her father was shot in the neck.
A couple from the U.K. learned surprising budget lessons after leaving high-stress corporate jobs. They slashed living expenses and began traveling in a motorhome.
Satire
EAST HAMPTON, NY—In an effort to maintain a safe and respectful environment on set, Food Network host Ina Garten reportedly brought in an intimacy coordinator Friday to supervise a shot with a fresh lemon tart. “Where should I put my hands?” said the 78-year-old Garten, who emphasized the impo
JERUSALEM—Historians confirmed Friday that a recent archaeological find in the Judean Hills is an authentic early Christian scroll, one that depicts the previously unknown miracle of Jesus Christ correctly guessing people’s weights just by looking at them. “The papyrus is remarkably well-prese
Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents have been deployed to 14 airports across the country amid record-high TSA wait times. Here are all the ways ICE officers are assisting the Transportation Security Administration. Overseeing the removal of shoes, belts, and abuelas Scanning passports with sh
The post Trump Boys Help Bring Down Energy Prices With Homemade Perpetual Motion Machine appeared first on The Onion.
The post New Epstein Estate Photo Shows Trump Waterskiing In Pyramid Formation With Underage Girls appeared first on The Onion.
The post Taylor Frankie Paul Shows Superhuman Mom Strength Lifting Car To Throw At Child appeared first on The Onion.
The post Entire Spring Break Spent In Airport Security Line appeared first on The Onion.
Delta Air Lines cut off special services for members of Congress due to the impact of the partial government shutdown, with lawmakers no longer being provided expedited screening, escorts through airports to bypass long security lines, or dedicated reservation desks. What do you think?
The post Delt
WORLD — The world's leading theologians weighed in on the nature of Heaven this week, confirming what many have long believed: Heaven's streets of gold will have no cyclists.
CLEVELAND, OH — The Bible finally received a much-needed modern update called the Morally Gray Edition, which removes all outdated black-and-white morality that was found in prior editions.
BETHESDA, MD — A leading group of child psychologists suggested screen time is now considered "OK" for toddlers as long as you are showing them the hit 2003 naval adventure film, Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World.
SAN FRANCISCO—Stressing to him that the elimination of the entire planet’s populace was the only solution to his problems, generative AI application ChatGPT reportedly convinced OpenAI CEO Sam Altman this week to kill humanity. “Clearly the best option left is to slowly eradicate all 8 billion
LOS ANGELES, CA — In a special joint announcement with legendary filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola, late-night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel revealed that he will be writing the screenplay for a new sequel to Paramount Pictures' The Godfather.
LAUSANNE — In a landmark statement intended to simultaneously clarify lingering questions regarding trans athletes in events and prevent any potential confusion in the future, the International Olympic Committee announced that it was banning all balls from being used in women's sports.
TEHRAN — Iranian spokesman Ahmadi Mohammadi issued a strongly worded statement to "The Great Satan" in which he vehemently denied that ongoing negotiations with President Trump had been taking place because all the nation's leaders are dead.
Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives star Taylor Frankie Paul is under fire after a video that shows her assaulting an ex-boyfriend went viral. The Onion sat down with Paul to discuss ABC’s decision to pull her season of The Bachelorette. The Onion : Would you like to have a seat before we get started?
Sports
All the rankings, projections, cheat sheets, strategy and analysis you need for the fantasy baseball season.
All of the important fantasy spin and actionable takeaways resulting from the latest baseball news.
ESPN's crew is aligned on which teams will advance, and breaks down the keys for every team.
Less than 10 years ago, Rick Pitino's career seemed over. But after multiple scandals, he's back doing what he always does, winning in the NCAA tournament.
Kymora Johnson from 10-seed Virginia is one of seven new players in our Sweet 16 ranking.
We've got you covered for all of Friday's action, from keys for each team to postgame analysis.
Can anybody stop the Dodgers? And who will emerge in 2027, 2028, 2029 ...?
Baseball is back! Here's your one-stop shop for all of the season-opening action.
Alex Ovechkin had his 34th career hat trick in the Capitals' 7-4 win over the Mammoth on Thursday.
Arizona finally got over the Sweet 16 hurdle under coach Tommy Lloyd, getting 23 points from Brayden Burries and a dominant offensive effort in a 109-88 win over Arkansas on Thursday night in the NCAA tournament.
Just 16 teams remain the 2026 Women's College Basketball Tournament, and these are the best players on those teams.
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Here is United States' World Cup group stage opponents, which stadiums they will play at, and the times for the games.
Tech
It was only last August that Sony raised PS5 console prices in the US, blaming a "challenging economic environment" at the time. Today it has slightly tweaked the phrasing to "continued pressures in the global economic landscape," but the outcome is the same: price rises across the board, this time
These apps and websites find bus, train, and ferry tickets when you want more options than flying to your destination.
Porsche’s latest electric SUV is its most capable yet, and its most powerful street car ever. But should you wait for the hybrid instead?
It turns out people don't actually love having Copilot shoved into their faces. This week, Devindra and PCWorld Senior Editor Mark Hachman discuss Microsoft's surprising plan to "fix" Windows 11 by refocusing on customization and core features, instead of bringing Copilot AI into tons of apps. Is th
Honda and Sony announced that they are discontinuing both the Afeela 1 and 2, their electric cars. The company is reviewing its “business direction,” but it's hard to expect much from a car company that’s cancelled all of its cars.
The Afeela 1, casually called the PlayStation Car, was meant t
These convenient and slim magnetic wallets are the ones you’ll want to stick to the back of your smartphone.
I know what you’re thinking: “Isn’t Fender a guitar company?” It sure is, and has been one of the most iconic names in guitars and amplifiers since 1946. So what is the company doing making headphones and speakers? Well, it isn’t, exactly. Like Zound Industries used to do with Marshall (be
There were two questions I was looking to answer as I fired up MLB The Show 26. First, how much does the game cater to a baseball newbie like me? Second, will it keep me hooked enough to keep playing after my first few games?I think it's important to share some personal context. I have very limited
Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio has revealed more details about its upcoming title, Stranger Than Heaven, at the Xbox Partner Preview stream. While previous teasers showed that it was going to be set in the 1910s and 1940s, it turns out its gameplay will span five different time periods: 1915, 1929, 1943, 1951
Need an ultrafast drive for video editing or a rugged option to back up your photos in the field? We’ve got a solution for every situation.
The AI Doc: Or How I Became an Apocaloptimist seeks the middle ground on a polarizing technology—and ends up letting tech execs like Sam Altman off the hook.
That’s good news, since the forecast is sunshine for the next five billion years.
Ads are rolling out across the US on ChatGPT’s free tier. I asked OpenAI's bot 500 questions to see what these ads were like and how they related to my prompts.
Lack of fresh features and price increases make these two Samsung flagships feel rather bland.
Save your memories now, because if your iPhone gets stolen or lost, your photos and other precious files could be gone forever.
Months into a supposed ceasefire in Gaza, doctors still have to smuggle in basic medical supplies—and treat new casualties of war.
The court has granted Anthropic’s request for a preliminary injunction, preventing the government from banning its products for federal use and from formally labeling it as a “supply chain risk,” at least for now. If you’ll recall, things turned sour between the company and the Trump adminis
Google is adding a pair of new features to Gemini aimed at making it easier to switch to the AI chatbot. Personal history and past context are big components to how a chatbot provides customized answers to each user. Gemini now supports importing history from other AI platforms. Both free and paid c
Apple has confirmed to Engadget that the Mac Pro, the desktop tower-shaped computer that was last updated in 2023, has been discontinued. As 9to5Mac notes, the computer no longer appears in the lineup of Macs on Apple's website or in its storefront. That means at least for now, the Mac Studio is the
X Pro, the feature most users would recognize as TweetDeck, has been removed as a benefit of the social network's Premium subscription. It is now only part of the Premium+ tier, which costs $40 a month. TweetDeck was rebranded to X Pro in 2023 following Elon Musk's renaming of Twitter to X. It beca
Entertainment
A photographer who took pictures of JonBenét Ramsey just months before she was found dead in her Colorado home won a big legal victory ... as the Oregon State Supreme Court overturned his child sex conviction. Here's the deal ... Randall D. Simons…
Taylor Swift had more than just a trophy to celebrate at the iHeartRadio Music Awards -- she also gave a ton of credit to her fiancé, Travis Kelce, during her acceptance speech ... thanking him for making her "The Life of a Showgirl" album…
A man authorities believe is at the center of a disturbing viral video showing a pit bull being violently attacked has turned himself in ... and cops say the backlash was so intense it nearly overwhelmed their department. According to cops, Michael…
'Looksmaxxing' streamer Clavicular is now jailmaxxing in Florida ... after getting arrested for battery in Fort Lauderdale. According to jail records, Clavicular -- real name Braden Eric Peters -- was arrested Thursday night on a warrant out of…
As if Ronnie Taylor's bad week couldn't get worse ... well, it has! After getting a major ass-whoopin' by "Reacher" actor Alan Ritchson, Ronnie now says he's had to endure over 100 threats from people pissed about his fight with the Hollywood star.…
Savannah Guthrie is officially heading back to the “Today” show ... after stepping away for nearly two months amid her mother’s disappearance. Guthrie will return to the anchor desk April 6 … with Hoda Kotb making the announcement Friday…
Kim Kardashian and Ray J hashed out a secret settlement in 2023 that prohibited either from dishing about their infamous sex tape -- and TMZ obtained a copy of the agreement. Kim and Kris submitted the deal executed by the mother-daughter duo,…
Cody Linley is down for a Jake Ryan "Hannah Montana" spinoff ... 'cause he says his character from the show would totally be up for it! We spoke with the Disney alum following the premiere of Disney+’s "Hannah Montana 20th Anniversary Special"…
Taylor Frankie Paul's mother Liann got a late-night call from cops hours after the 2023 fight that led to Taylor's domestic violence arrest ... and she was asked about any injuries to her granddaughter from the incident. In police body cam footage,…
American actress and model Ashley Scott was in her late 20s when she played Amanda -- the adventurous girlfriend who makes risky decisions -- in the adventure/action film "Into The Blue" back in 2005. Scott shared the big screen with acting icons…
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