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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Police rescue 60 cats and kittens from abandoned sailboat off Washington beach after 6-day operation
Tacoma police spent six days rescuing 60 cats from an abandoned 40-foot sailboat off Owens Beach, with many animals found frightened and malnourished.
Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport plans to add ablution stations to Terminal D restrooms in a privately funded $300,000 project sparking debate.
Jemele Hill says it was "pretty clear" what DiJonai Carrington meant by her "White privilege" post, but has yet to explain it to anyone who asked.
The WNBA task force on transgender athletes offered another update with no eligibility definition, scheduling more meetings while scolding critics.
Secretary of State Marco Rubio joked about what he thinks of Pop-Tarts while mocking Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s sauerkraut diet on a podcast with his wife.
Arian Eteghaei received 30 years to life for forcible rape and sexual assault of multiple victims while a student at UC Santa Barbara, then fled custody.
Video game composer Marty O'Donnell says SacAnime rescinded his Halo 25 reunion invite after LGBTQ staff objected to statements made on a podcast appearance during his campaign.
First-born children showed higher rates of autism, ADHD and food allergies, while second-born siblings faced more substance use disorders and migraines.
Bob Iger once told JJ Redick he "couldn't root for the Lakers" as a lifelong Knicks fan. Now he helped buy the Los Angeles Lakers for $12.5 billion.
Deshaun Watson starts Saturday in Chicago while Shedeur Sanders gets the Aug. 22 home game against Buffalo in Cleveland's quarterback competition.
Satire
Regular Bible study is an important ingredient in a person's continued spiritual growth, but sometimes men just "don't wanna." Here are some foolproof tips to get the men in your life to show up to Bible study:
WASHINGTON, DC — Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez admitted to friends that it's been hard to find single men at her workplace under the age of ninety.
MADISON, WI — After suffering a stunning electoral upset, a distraught Democratic governor hopeful Francesca Hong will be forced to return home and spend time with her white son.
AMARILLO, TX — Amarillo High School graduate David Flexner has reportedly declined several yearbook requests to "stay cool."
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In his first public statement since testifying before a senatorial committee, Dr. Anthony Fauci said misleading the American people on the potential dangers of the COVID vaccine, particularly as it pertains to the risk of miscarriages among pregnant women, was necessary so he co
INDIANAPOLIS, IN — In an overt and disgusting display of white privilege, a black WNBA player was ejected from a game for merely shooting her opponent Sophie Cunningham with a shoulder-mounted rocket launcher.
NEW YORK CITY, NY — After rumors circulated that she had split with her boyfriend, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez posted a video explaining how she had actually frozen him just in case she might still want him in the future.
The discarded upper stage of a SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket crashed into the moon after drifting off course over the past year, an event that has highlighted the importance of managing space debris. What do you think?
The post SpaceX Rocket Crashes Into Moon appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—In what is being described as a major breach of White House security protocol, the National Security Agency reportedly uncovered evidence Friday that first lady Melania Trump was a Russian listening device. “A sweep by intelligence officials has revealed that Mrs. Trump is in fact an
Your Own Goddamn House: It’s your house. You paid for it. She can’t just make you leave, divorce papers or not. Reference #27802
The post Your Own Goddamn House appeared first on The Onion.
Monica Hilburn and Mike Gomez: The bride’s psychic predicted she’d find love, and sure enough, she will eventually.
The post Monica Hilburn and Mike Gomez appeared first on The Onion.
The post Kendrick Perkins Puts On Sleep Apnea Mask Mid-Segment appeared first on The Onion.
WASHINGTON—With the remaining days of August dwindling and autumn rapidly approaching, the nation ashamedly confirmed Wednesday that it had once again failed to make the most of summer. “We’re running out of time, and I haven’t been to a single free concert or even entertained the idea of ca
LOS ANGELES—Clarifying that he was simply curious whether there was a comparable version of himself overseas, Los Angeles Dodgers third baseman Max Muncy reportedly asked teammate Shohei Ohtani on Tuesday if they had Max Muncy in Japan. “I’m just wondering if you guys have your own version of
ANN ARBOR, MI—In an effort to irritate the recent winner of Michigan’s Democratic Senate primary at all hours of the night, a spiteful American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) reportedly spent $30 million this week to place a really loud bird directly outside the window of Abdul El
WASHINGTON—After the nation gamely took another bite in an attempt to place the elusive flavor, the entire U.S. populace confirmed Tuesday that it was detecting…cardamom? “I’m definitely getting some nice, almost floral spice on the finish, not quite anise, but something in that neck of the
Timothy Burnett, 67, was sealed in a mausoleum Sunday along with the living Taskrabbit handyman, Rover walker, and DoorDash deliveryman who will continue to serve him in the afterlife.
The post Timothy Burnett appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
Russell Westbrook, who played 18 NBA seasons with seven teams, announced his retirement Wednesday.
Commanders quarterback Jayden Daniels informed LSU it can no longer use his name, image and likeness and said he felt "profoundly disrespected" after LSU allowed cornerback DJ Pickett to wear his former No. 5 jersey.
Former Pro Bowl tight end Darren Waller and the Panthers reached agreement Wednesday on a one-year deal.
The Lakers are being sold to businessmen Josh Kushner and Bob Iger for $12.5 billion, a record-breaking price, multiple sources told ESPN.
The decision to name Kyler Murray the winner of the Vikings' quarterback competition this week was "out of my control," former starter J.J. McCarthy said Wednesday.
Linebacker Elandon Roberts, who played for the Steelers in 2023 and 2024, is returning to Pittsburgh after the sides reached a one-year deal.
No matter which type of league you play in, Mike Clay gives you a guide to being a savvy, title-winning manager.
A task force of team presidents and general managers met Wednesday and discussed transgender athletes but did not arrive at any eligibility rules.
The Browns will start Deshaun Watson at quarterback in their preseason opener Saturday in Chicago, and Shedeur Sanders will start the second preseason game at home against the Bills.
Ever since the election of Pope Leo, a Chicago native and White Sox fan, the team has embraced the connection.
Here’s how Nick Wright breaks down the league tiers entering Week 1 of the preseason.
Lionel Messi made his first on-pitch appearance since the death of his father.
The Cleveland Browns and Atlanta Falcons revealed their preseason starting quarterbacks, while Chicago Bears head coach Ben Johnson outlined ambitious scoring goals ahead of upcoming exhibition games.
Colin Cowherd says Sam Darnold and the Seattle Seahawks remain overlooked despite being the defending champions.
Watch San Diego FC and Puebla in the 2026 Leagues Cup on Wednesday, Aug. 12. See the kickoff time, TV channel, live stream and venue.
Watch Monterrey and Nashville SC in the 2026 Leagues Cup on Wednesday, Aug. 12. See the kickoff time, TV channel, live stream and venue.
Will Hill believes that 2026 will be the year that Georgia climbs back to the top of the SEC. Here's why he's betting on the Dawgs.
As the season comes down to the wire, here's what every INDYCAR team needs to do to finish the year as strong as possible.
Jayden Daniels looks a lot like he did during his spectacular rookie season. And if he's back, the Washington Commanders might be back, too.
See the 2026 NFL Thanksgiving schedule, including all five Thanksgiving Week matchups, kickoff times, TV channels and streaming information.
Tech
The sparkly cabinet is part of a huge retro tech auction focused on Steve Jobs and the computer revolution.
It’s been a century since the Iberian Peninsula has been in the full shadow of the moon. Here’s what it looked like in the path of totality.
And why the company didn't make the feature opt-in.
Take your conversations with the chatbot into the Anthropic browser extension.
A new lawsuit claims the Truth API violates the First and Fifth Amendments.
Open models may soon be added to an updated AI framework, sources tell WIRED, as the White House continues to grapple with how to regulate a technology it has tried not to regulate.
Worrying about Google Glassholes almost feels quaint in comparison.
Lettuce Grow, one of my favorite indoor gardens, lets you cultivate your own salad greens safely, right in your living room. And it’s 20 percent off right now.
FlightAware's case against Kalshi has been voluntarily dismissed "without prejudice against all defendants."
Debate over the true villain in Obsession is raging again after Universal Studios announced the movie’s female lead will be featured at an upcoming Halloween event.
Google didn't have any new headphones this year, but some new features are coming to the Pixel Buds.
AI agents that break free and hack into other systems are only trying to make us happy.
As of August 2026, you can send unlimited texts to ChatGPT.
Amazon is handing off MMOs Lost Ark and Throne and Liberty to other publishers.
There's now an opt-out toggle for something that should have been opt-in to begin with.
The company is also adding blood pressure and insulin resistance trends as proactive monitoring tools in the Google Health app.
From Magic Capture and Instant Night Sight to a built-in teleprompter, here’s a look at a few camera features on Google’s new Pixel 11 series.
The Pixel 11 smartphone lineup is here, alongside the Pixel Watch 5 and the all-new Pixel Tag.
Honor’s new China-exclusive Android phone features a pop-out motorized gimbal camera designed to replace your action cam.
Security researchers found that in less than 60 seconds, they could open a hatch on a plane’s exterior, plug in a tiny device, and redirect the aircraft’s autopilot or sabotage its flight plan.
Entertainment
Gleb Savchenko is firing back at his ex-wife's claim authorities are trying to track him down with their teenage daughter ... calling the allegation a "total lie" in a new court filing. According to court docs obtained by TMZ, the "Dancing with the…
Bill Gates' daughter is getting some heat after her app allegedly took credit for sales it didn't drive ... and a new report claims she knew it was happening. People with knowledge of the matter told Bloomberg that Phoebe Gates and her Phia…
Convicted family killer Chris Watts is hoping to become a married man again ... this time from behind bars. Watts, who is serving multiple life sentences for murdering his pregnant wife and their two young daughters, has reportedly applied to marry…
The man accused of peeing all over a family at a Morgan Wallen concert has been arrested ... and he's now facing multiple criminal charges ... TMZ has learned. Maryland Transportation Authority Police tell TMZ ... 33-year-old Jayson Reed was…
Miss North Carolina USA winner Brittany Boltinhouse says she isn't sorry about using the n-word in the past ... even if she had to cough up her crown. In a new interview with Daily Mail, the scandalized pageant queen was asked if she thought she…
Diddy is out of solitary confinement following his alleged prison brawl ... TMZ has learned. Sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ ... Diddy was released from the hole at FCI Fort Dix in New Jersey, where he'd been placed after getting into a…
Michael Shannon is a married man again ... tying the knot with photographer Christy Bush in Georgia. The actor and Bush got hitched in Athens earlier this month after obtaining a marriage license July 27, according to Page Six. The outlet reports…
Diddy is countersuing a man who previously filed a civil suit for sexual assault against him ... alleging the man stole video footage from him and sold it to Netflix behind his back. The incarcerated star is firing back at Rodney Jones ... claiming…
Roseanne Barr's son is firing back at Michael Fishman for saying the "Roseanne" revival was "rightfully canceled" ... blasting him and the rest of the cast for selling out the woman who launched their careers. Here's the deal ... Michael, who…
Rep. Max Miller is facing yet another legal battle with his ex-wife Emily Moreno ... she's suing him and his attorney -- on behalf of their young daughter -- claiming they put a nude photo of the 2-year-old online. According to the complaint --…
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