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US News
• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Chuck Schumer faces a rare contested Senate leadership race as Chris Van Hollen pushes to abolish the filibuster and shake up Democratic strategy.
Pete Hegseth narrowly avoided becoming only the third cabinet secretary ever impeached after 11 absent Democrats failed to reach the House floor.
Malin Akerman told the "Call Her Daddy" podcast how moving to Connecticut gave her 13-year-old son a 1950s-style childhood she calls a dream.
This towel warmer fits two towels in its 21-liter capacity and heats in minutes, now 20% off as part of Amazon Black Friday deals.
Kirk Herbstreit fed his golden retriever Peter a steak at an NYC steakhouse, sparking a heated debate over dogs in restaurants and food safety rules.
A White House Situation Room meeting erupted after Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang's affair with a suspected Chinese spy tied to chip diversions was revealed.
Jameis Winston sang "Who Let the Dogs Out" in his snap count trying to draw Washington offside, leaving Al Michaels and Kirk Herbstreit stunned.
Abigail Holbrook allegedly punched two Central Park horse carriage drivers and struck one with a skateboard after screaming about animal abuse.
Google says Videostrong deliberately installed backdoor malware in over 1.3 million Android TV boxes, turning them into a botnet for criminals.
The NHL wants up to double its current television rights fees from ESPN and TNT, but TNT's new Skydance ownership could complicate negotiations.
Satire
You might think we're biased toward Christianity here at The Babylon Bee, but that's not true! We've consulted with the brightest minds and climbed the highest mountains to consult with wise sages about the true meaning of the universe to learn why Christianity is better than every other religion.
U.S. — A desperate and weary nation offered to give Microsoft $100 billion in cash to stop anyone from trying to fix Outlook.
GALILEE — A man stricken with a severe infirmity reportedly approached Jesus of Nazareth for healing, but first wished to clarify if the Son of God was in his HMO network.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a "blue wave" midterm election ushered in a 55-seat Democratic majority in the Senate, Satan once again emerged as the clear favorite to become the Senate Majority Leader.
U.S. — Local Amazon driver Marcus Brooks reportedly called in a wellness check on your wife on Friday afternoon after not delivering any packages addressed to her for a full 24 hours.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump signed an executive order on Friday morning officially mandating that all incoming and re-elected U.S. Senators take their oath of office with one hand resting on a copy of his 1987 memoir, Trump: The Art of the Deal.
NEW YORK—Touched by his dedication and realizing his time was running tragically short, Rockstar Games allowed a dying fan to visit its office Wednesday and play Grand Theft Auto III from the comfort of a hospital bed. “When we heard about this poor kid and how urgent his situation was, we flew
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL—As he noted how coddled kids were nowadays compared with older generations, area grandfather Hank Hayes recalled Friday that when he was young, he had to evolve legs to get to school. “Back in my day, if you wanted an education, you had to crawl out of the ocean on your fins
WASHINGTON—Claiming that concerns over pollution levels were vastly overblown, the Environmental Protection Agency issued a statement Tuesday assuring the public that the air was still safe for non-breathing applications. “The air quality is perfectly safe, provided it’s not being used for an
SEOUL—Shocking fans with a move few saw coming, K-pop star Jung Kook confirmed in an interview Friday that he was leaving BTS for Blue Man Group. “BTS has been one heck of a ride, but it’s time for me to begin my next chapter,” said the 28-year-old singer, songwriter, and dancer, who added t
Modern technology is great, especially when it comes to raising children. If there's something you want to go do, you can just plop the kid in front of a TV or tablet, and you're totally free. But that's not the only perk.
California voters rejected a ballot measure to impose a one-time, 5% tax on the net worth of billionaires in the state, defeating what would have been the nation’s first wealth tax. What do you think?
The post California Voters Reject Billionaire Tax appeared first on The Onion.
CHICAGO, IL — A local hospital celebrated the grand opening of an express lane for people suffering from 10 or fewer gunshot wounds on Thursday, touting it as a revolution in Chicago healthcare.
WASHINGTON—Declaring that the time had come for the nation’s mightiest warriors to at last achieve a decisive victory in the Persian Gulf, President Donald Trump called upon the American Gladiators on Thursday to finish the Iran War. “I am hereby requesting that our most muscular fighting men
U.S. — National productivity skyrocketed on Thursday after Microsoft Teams went down, affording millions of Americans the rare opportunity to actually do their jobs.
NEW BRAUNFELS, TX — Local six-year-old Brayden Hempstead set a new world record this week after going 2-for-10 on hand motions during a children's church choir production.
WASHINGTON—Saying he was grasping at straws in his efforts to avoid spending any more one-on-one time with the American vice president, Chinese spy Simon Li told reporters Monday he was running out of excuses not to hang out with JD Vance. “I don’t know when JD is going to take the hint that
LONDON—His heart sinking as he realized he hadn’t even been given the dignity of speaking with a real human being, actor Jack Lowden reportedly interviewed for Amazon’s open James Bond position on Thursday with an AI recruiter. “Um, yeah, it’s always been a dream of mine to play 007, and I
OKLAHOMA CITY—In what is being hailed as a massive win for the state’s conservative lawmakers, the Oklahoma Legislature approved a new measure Tuesday that strictly bans marrying for love. “Marriage should be a holy union between a man and a woman who wants to aggressively procreate, not a co
Sports
What do Mauricio Pochettino and Mary Poppins have in common?
First baseman Jake Bauers, who is coming off a career season with the Brewers, has agreed to four-year, $58M contract with the Red Sox, sources told ESPN.
A co-defendant in an NBA betting case told a gambler that he and Terry Rozier were planning a wagering scheme centered on another Hornets player, federal prosecutors alleged in a court filing.
The NC State board of trustees has finalized a five-year contract for former NFL quarterback Philip Rivers to become head football coach at his alma mater.
Tennessee running back Daune Morris sustained non-life-threatening injuries, including a broken leg, during a car accident Friday morning, the school announced.
Heisman Trophy winner Robert Griffin III is expected to interview for the head coaching job at his alma mater, Baylor, sources told ESPN.
The 30th season of ABC's "The Bachelor" that will premiere in March 2027 will star the former Notre Dame standout.
The Atlanta Falcons have signed defensive end Cameron Thomas and cornerback C.J. Henderson to multiyear contract extensions, the team announced Friday.
Mauricio Pochettino has left his position as United States men's national team coach to manage Manchester United, the U.S. Soccer Federation said Friday.
Pelicans guard Dejounte Murray wants a trade from the franchise, and his agent, Klutch Sports CEO Rich Paul, and team officials have started working on a resolution, sources told ESPN's Shams Charania.
Who is the best soccer player in the world at the November international break? ESPN's latest rankings are here.
We look at 25 players who could break out in the second half of the 2026 season, including a ton of promising rookies.
Jacksonville Jaguars defensive tackle Jordan Davis and safety Jessie Bates III, both acquired via trades this week, won’t play at Tennessee on Sunday.
The Ravens finally offered information on the state of Lamar Jackson's injury.
The Boston Red Sox have reportedly signed former Milwaukee Brewers breakout star Jake Bauers to a $58 million deal.
New York Jets wide receiver Garrett Wilson is close to clearing the concussion protocol, and coach Aaron Glenn expects to have him in the lineup Sunday against the Buffalo Bills.
The NC State Wolfpack have officially hired former NFL quarterback Philip Rivers as the program's next head football coach.
Following their thrilling win over the Giants, Commanders coach Dan Quinn lauded the team's resilience, specifically that of QB Jayden Daniels.
The U.S. men’s national team might soon be looking for a new coach, and U.S. Soccer is rumored to aim high.
Outgoing USA coach Mauricio Pochettino broke down Friday while discussing his decision to leave the national team for Manchester United.
Tech
For Black Friday, a new quarterly option delivers three bags at a time, each from a different country.
I’ve already found early deals on our favorite WIRED-tested mattresses and sleep accessories.
This is for spending analysis and not for making purchases.
The company says a bad update—not a cyberattack or AI—caused its servers around the world to crash.
Finally, you can watch Avatar in 3D HFR at home.
The new Wallet feature will allow its AI agents to make purchases on your behalf.
Countless businesses, schools, hospitals, and governments have found out the hard way what it means to rely on a single company’s systems to get things done. And next time could be even worse.
The House of Representatives, health care providers, schools and many other organizations were affected.
The former tech CEO is obsessed with the power of storytelling. But he hasn't spun his way out of his sex scandals.
Motorola's latest phone has a monstrous tandem OLED display, a huge 7,000mah battery, fancy cameras and a massive $1,600 price tag.
To make the HomeView both personal and communal, there was only one place to go.
Microsoft's latest Surface is a beautiful flagship device for NVIDIA's RTX Spark.
Bloomberg found evidence of a network of Chinese companies smuggling NVIDIA chips with Alice Huang at the center.
Our team clocked serious hours walking, working, and sometimes jogging to find the best under-desk treadmills for home offices and small spaces.
$1,500 buys you vibrant color, deep blacks, and a fast screen fit for just about anything. Just be sure the wide pedestal fits your setup.
Mansa says its AI microdramas can serve as proofs of concept for what Black audiences want. Critics say the studio is selling out.
The AI memory crunch is coming for your holiday shopping list.
Jean Guerrero, Stephen Miller’s biographer, sees him as “a case study in oligarchic capture”—and as a way for Donald Trump to double down.
Whoop, a company that makes screenless fitness trackers, has launched its own social network.
The electric automaker has apologized and said it will fix the issue for affected vehicles.
Entertainment
Avril Lavigne is trading pop-punk anthems for lullabies ... the singer just welcomed her first child, a baby girl! The "Sk8er Boi" singer revealed the big news on social media, giving fans a first look at her new addition, including several…
Nikita Tyukalo allegedly built a fortune exploiting OnlyFans creators and camgirls ... but a group of their own fans wasn't about to let his operation go unchecked. Our new documentary, "TMZ Studios Presents: Inside the Camgirl Criminal Empire," is…
Six Flags has been hit with a lawsuit after an 8-year-old boy claims he suffered a broken arm on the Roaring Rapids water ride while celebrating his birthday ... TMZ has learned. In legal docs, obtained by TMZ, Everett Sweeney -- through his…
Tom Leigh doesn't care if you call anyone daddy ... he'd just be happy for anyone to call on him at all -- because he says he's been basically erased from the hit show's history. Here's the deal ... Tom was a producer on "Call Her Daddy" when it…
Days ago, Usman Nurmagomedov was contemplating where he'd sign as one of the biggest free agents in MMA, but the star fighter's future is now up in the air ... he was just sentenced to six months in a United Arab Emirates prison for attacking Merab…
It's official! The 'Mormon Wives' are back, but this time they're trading Utah for the sunny shores of Orange County! If you didn't tune in, meet the new girlies -- and if you have, sit back and enjoy the smoke show! Salomé Andrea, Jen Affleck…
“Love During Lockup” star Justin Johnson’s estate is suing officials in charge of the prison where he was incarcerated when he died by suicide ... alleging the guards there didn’t monitor him closely enough. The administrator of Justin’s…
Christian Cousins was found dead inside his California home after concerned family members couldn't get ahold of him ... TMZ has learned. A spokesperson for the Irvine Police Department tells TMZ ... officers responded to a welfare check at the…
Convicted killer Courtney Clenney is now in minimum-security custody, and she's less than two years away from freedom. According to Florida Department of Corrections records, obtained by TMZ, the former OnlyFans model is now housed at Gadsden…
Malik Beasley is trying to make a few extra bucks before he pleads guilty in his federal sports gambling case ... selling signed jerseys on social media for $200. The former NBA star jumped on TikTok Live to hawk his wares ... offering jerseys from…