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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
The Justice Department's antitrust division was directed to pause all cooperation with Canada amid the escalating U.S.-Canada trade war, according to a report.
TCU Athletics restored press credentials to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram days after pulling them over a report about Jacob Fields' dismissal.
Video from Ceuta shows migrants pulling a dolphin calf from the water and striking it with a stick as outraged residents tried to intervene on the beach.
Spencer Pratt fires back at Ryan Reynolds over his "Mayday" premiere comments, contrasting the anti-hero generation with classic 1980s cinema heroes.
Jim Thornton's firing from "Wheel of Fortune" follows an investigation and allegations tied to an American Airlines flight incident in May.
Skip South Beach, Clearwater Beach, and Daytona Beach this Labor Day weekend and try three hidden Florida beaches that locals have sworn by.
Exclusive footage obtained by Fox News shows HSI agents executing arrests as the Trump administration ramps up a nationwide crackdown on non-citizen voting ahead of the 2026 midterms.
WNBA Commissioner Cathy Engelbert announced her retirement after 2026, but her seven-year tenure was defined by player clashes and political controversy.
Author J.K. Rowling's $150 million superyacht Samsara is reportedly docked in a Los Angeles marina with its name covered, but locals quickly identified the 290-foot vessel.
Aryna Sabalenka stopped her US Open match to complain about weed smoke, telling the umpire the smell was "so strong" during her third-round win.
Satire
JUDEA — In adherence to the teachings of Jesus, Simon, who is called Peter, was committed to forgiving the neighbor who wronged him up to "seventy times seven" times. Unfortunately, after forgiving him 73 times, Peter reportedly lost count and had to start all over.
BURBANK, CA — Panic swept through Warner Bros. Studios on Tuesday after a senior colorist was terminated for accidentally allowing visible primary colors to remain in a major motion picture.
NEW YORK, NY — Interviews conducted with employees of CBS News revealed that Editor-in-Chief Bari Weiss was facing internal backlash over allegations that she had attempted to commit actual journalism.
NEW YORK, NY — New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani was reportedly seen standing in front of his bathroom mirror practicing his "sad face" in preparation for his upcoming appearance at the 9/11 memorial.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump announced on Friday that he had successfully annexed the Canadian hockey team, the Montreal Canadiens, and would be renaming them the Montreal Americans.
CHICAGO, IL — A fifth-grade teacher at Lincoln Elementary reportedly admonished her classroom on Thursday, asking the kids to please raise their hands to be called on instead of firing pistols into the air.
U.S. — The State of Massachusetts has officially been ruled incompetent by reason of insanity.
EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Sending the publisher scrambling to protect trade secrets related to the hotly anticipated project, leaks from Rockstar Games worsened Friday as hackers released a fully playable copy of Grand Theft Auto IX. “It’s heartbreaking having assets leak out for any of our projects
THE HEAVENS—Scratching His head and rifling through His notes as He tried to recall His reasoning for the decision, The Lord God, Supreme Creator of the Universe, reportedly struggled to remember on Friday why He made so many ugly people. “I could have given everyone on Earth perfect, symmetrica
The CEO of Pabst Brewing Co. put up a $20,000 reward to anyone who could provide information that leads to the recovery of 1,602 missing cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon and non-alcoholic Old Milwaukee beers. What do you think?
The post PBR Offers $20,000 Reward For Lost Beer appeared first on The Onion.
Influencer Alix Earle is the star of Netflix’s newest reality show, Earle Meets World. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the series. Q: Who is Alix Earle? A: Alix is a Gen Z content creator known for eating expired military rations. Q: I thought her name was Alex Cooper. A: Ask yo
HELL — Feminist icon Gloria Steinem refused to allow Satan to hold the door open for her on the way into hell, in what many are calling her final act against the Patriarchy.
Legacy mapping tool MapQuest shot up to become the top navigation app in Apple’s app store after refusing to comply with President Trump’s executive order renaming “Lake Ontario” to “Lake America,” overtaking Google Maps, Waze, and Apple Maps. What do you think?
The post MapQuest Jumps T
PEMBROKE PINES, FL — An adventurous connoisseur with an eye for rare edible treasures was reportedly eager to sample the exotic delicacies of the Far East at local Chinese buffet Super Dragon #1.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of War Pete Hegseth set up a lemonade stand by the Reflecting Pool in order to raise money to allow the military to purchase more missiles.
The post Gloria Steinem, Researcher Who Discovered Existence Of Women, Dead At 92 appeared first on The Onion.
Country star Ella Langley is breaking records with her hit song “Choosin’ Texas,” which has now topped the Billboard Hot 100 for 20 weeks. The Onion shares everything you need to know about the artist. Nepotism Connection: Child of God Honors And Accolades: CMA Award For Female Vocalist Of The
HERSHEY, PA—Calling into question the candy brand’s apparent belief that consuming its chocolate-covered caramels constitutes a lively group activity, viewers told reporters Thursday that a new Rolo commercial greatly overestimates the social element of eating Rolos. “Rolo roll call!” a hand
From specialized nutrition plans to mental skills work to experimental equipment, the quest to stay healthy and productive now takes NFL athletes far beyond the weight room. Here are some ways players keep themselves fit throughout the season. Mental Skills In recent years, mental preparation has be
Sports
Alexander Isak disappointed after his record transfer fee last summer, but he was Liverpool's best player vs. Ipswich on Friday.
All of the key moments from Serena and Venus Williams' doubles match on Friday at the US Open.
An Indiana circuit court judge issued a temporary restraining order Friday that clears the way for defensive linemen Stephen Daley and Kellan Wyatt to return to the Hoosiers this season.
José Mourinho said he couldn't explain Real Madrid's 1-0 defeat at Real Betis on Friday, in the coach's first loss since returning to LaLiga.
Dodgers star Shohei Ohtani was not in the starting lineup Friday for a second straight game because of biceps and neck issues
Feeling better than he expected after a four-month absence, Carlos Alcaraz is planning to take more breaks during the tennis season.
The Sparks, who will miss the playoffs for the sixth straight season, are hiring Ariana Andonian as general manager.
Chicago Sky owner Michael Alter called a lawsuit filed by Enes Kanter Freedom "meritless and frivolous" Friday afternoon.
After the NBA levied its enormous punishment on the Clippers, they'd be wise to change course and lean on precedent -- fast.
World No.1 Aryna Sabalenka won her third-round match at the US Open on Friday in straight sets but was bothered by the smell of marijuana inside Louis Armstrong Stadium.
No. 4 Notre Dame and Wisconsin open their seasons Sunday night at Lambeau Field, bringing together two head coaches whose shared history spans more than two decades.
According to oddsmakers, bettors believe both Seattle and New England are headed for a Super Bowl hangover. Patrick Everson breaks it down.
Some of the biggest names in INDYCAR — including a past champion — will be making moves after the 2026 season. Here's the latest.
From the fight for second to the corkscrew's new name, here's everything you need to know about INDYCAR's season finale at Laguna Seca.
A look at the history of the Pac-12 and the team that will make up the new-look conference.
The showdown between LSU and Clemson has been overshadowed by controversy
Polymarket Promo Code FOX Will Reward New Users With a $50 Bonus Ahead of This Weekend's College Football.
Kalshi Promo Code FOXSPORTS Provides a $25 Bonus for the First Big Slate of College Football This Weekend.
Check out FanDuel's Latest Week 1 Special: Bet $1 Get $100 in Bonus Bets if 1+ Point is Scored in Clemson vs. LSU.
How to Bet on College Football Week 1 Including Clemson vs. LSU and Louisville vs. Ole Miss.
Tech
Use a methodical approach to see what's using the most space on your PC and easily clean it up.
Tetris knockoff 'Build the Wall' is one of six new games hosted on the White House website, and The Tetris Company is not happy.
Florida joins a growing list of cities and states responding to the license plate reader backlash.
The Home Depot Labor Day sale goes hard on grills and tools. Here are our recommendations on what to buy—and what to ignore.
In what appears to be a follow-up to the mighty “CasiOak,” the rugged Japanese watch brand is expected to release an all-new luxury homage.
Zelda takes center stage on September 8 and everything else is being saved for September 9.
The US government is investigating whether the Cybercab, which lacks a steering wheel and pedals, meets vehicle safety standards.
OpenAI says it's investigating the incident after a group of researchers disclosed their findings.
While philosophers ponder AI consciousness, the models have ideas of their own.
Regulators will review the process and data Tesla used to self-certify the vehicle.
But you'll need a powerful system with 64GB of RAM to use it.
The Boox Go 6 (Gen II) is a versatile Android ereader with the ability to take notes directly in books.
The mission to Phobos, Japan’s first Mars probe launch in 28 years, may reveal new information about our closest planetary neighbor.
Claude has the ability to use past chats with you as context for current and future prompts, so it's important that they are accurate.
Don't worry, we didn't share $500 CameraJet toothbrush.
Feeling the pull of a new clean machine? I'll help you make sense of Dyson’s whirlwind vacuum lineup.
With these high-tech automatic litter boxes, gone are the days of scooping and smells. Welcome to the future.
The success of a program linking zoos across the US has created social media stars and generated a wave of interest in how to protect the endangered great apes in the wild.
Macs are fantastic computers, but you’ll need one of these great displays to complete your work-from-home setup.
Homeland Security Investigations agents hit the outdoor retailer with a controversial subpoena as part of a dragnet search for the identities of protesters who entered a Minnesota church in March.
Entertainment
Jim Thornton's Facebook account has gone dark hours after he was fired from "Wheel of Fortune" ... and TMZ has learned the former announcer has also been scrubbed from the game show's social media channels. Thornton's Facebook page was no longer…
Aaron Rodgers is looking forward to retirement ... and says he hopes to start a family with his wife. The Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback opened up about his future during an interview with SiriusXM's "Mad Dog Sports Radio," saying he's hoping to…
Alan Jackson -- the big-time defense attorney who represented Karen Read in Massachusetts during both her criminal trials -- says he sees similarities between her case and Lindsay Clancy's .... especially in the controversial way both were handed a…
Phaedra Parks and CT Tamburello have been dating ... and now she's confirming their romance. "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" star revealed the news during an appearance on Jeff Lewis' radio show Friday ... telling listeners she and "The Challenge"…
A man is dead after suffering a medical emergency at the Burning Man festival in Nevada. Organizers say the man, who was in his mid-50s, became sick Thursday at the Black Rock Desert event. He was treated with lifesaving measures before being…
Aaron Donald feared his ex Jaelynn Blakey’s dog may harm their kids and rushed to court weeks before the NFL season starts, TMZ has learned. According to court docs obtained by TMZ, Aaron, who shares two minor kids with Jaelynn, requested…
Rachel Tussey's doctor has been countersued by the JourneyLite surgery center, which argues there's no way she overdosed because she didn't respond when Narcan was administered. JourneyLite filed the counterclaim this week ... claiming it is still…
Jessica Simpson is singing Dolly Parton's praises ... saying the country music legend was truly the queen of all music. Our cameraman caught up with Jessica at LAX Friday and asked who should take over as the queen of country music following…
Shia LaBeouf may be able to rest a little easier ... the woman who had a weird confrontation with him in a parking lot just pleaded guilty to stalking and has been ordered not to come near the actor as part of her sentence ... but she did avoid…
An Illinois mother is accused of murdering her 2-year-old son hours after texting friends about the Lindsay Clancy trial. 38-year-old Corie Walsh was initially hospitalized but then moved to a jail. Corie was arrested after cops came to her home on…
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