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• Jailed Wall Street Journal reporter Evan Gershkovich denied detention appeal in Moscow
• Putin visits Russian troops at military headquarters in Kherson
• Watch moment WSJ journalist appears in Russian court
Viral video shows Jerry Seinfeld dancing and mocking anti-Israel hecklers at the Chicago Theatre as security escorted protesters from the venue.
The teacher killed in a shooting at a Bend, Oregon, elementary school shooting was identified by police on Friday as 25-year-old Meghan, Lambert. The hero who took down the shooter was Kaylub Gianmarco.
Troy Aikman says ESPN has not engaged in contract negotiations with him, suggesting his departure from Monday Night Football appears most likely.
A papaya-based aperitif born from a forgotten homeopathic remedy was revived after a chance discovery at a state park. Its founders tell Fox News Digital how the drink found new life.
Todd Gurley flew aboard Air Force One with President Donald Trump to a Dalton, Georgia rally, continuing a pattern of Bulldogs in Trump's orbit.
Letitia James vows a fair probe into the alleged Cornell University gang rape, but Trump and defense attorneys question her impartiality.
Josh Jacobs and Jonathon Cooper are coming off the commissioner's exempt list, but ongoing NFL investigations could bring further discipline.
An armed bystander helped end the deadly Oregon school shooting, but the gun control debate now centers on whether gun-free zones made it worse.
Zohran Mamdani and the City Council aim to ban horse-drawn carriages from Central Park by 2028, but union leaders say the move betrays workers.
New Jaguars long snapper cuts camping trip short, scrambles for passport before Sunday's London game
Jacob Bobenmoyer was camping and changing diapers in Colorado when the Jacksonville Jaguars called him to fly to London as their emergency long snapper.
Satire
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump faced heavy criticism on Friday for replacing White House Press Secretary Katie Zacharia with Jessica Rabbit.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Katie Zacharia was reportedly fired from her role as White House Press Secretary despite lying about her qualifications and being awful at her job.
JUPITER ISLAND, FL — Professional golfer and driving enthusiast Tiger Woods was reportedly unimpressed with the new Tesla Roadster, saying he's flipped dozens of vehicles all by himself.
HADDONFIELD, NJ — Look out, trick-or-treaters! For Halloween this year, the Jenkins family decorated their house as a data center. Spooky!
LOS ANGELES, CA — Hours after being swept out of the playoffs by the Milwaukee Brewers, the Los Angeles Dodgers announced that the organization had purchased the Milwaukee Brewers.
The post ‘Whalefall’ Star Stuns On Red Carpet In 40,000-Gallon Tank appeared first on The Onion.
LOS ANGELES—Stating that it was about time they got serious about their future as a couple, actress Sydney Sweeney reportedly told record executive Scooter Braun Friday that she was open to converting to the B-list for him. “I really want this relationship to work, and if that means skipping the
WASHINGTON—Calling off the event that some had labeled “controversial,” President Donald Trump announced Friday that he was canceling the planned livestream execution of Sen. Jon Ossoff (D-GA). “I still believe it would have been a strong deterrent for the world to witness how America deals
NIKUMARORO, KIRIBATI—Claiming to have finally solved the longstanding mystery surrounding the missing aviator’s ultimate fate, a team of Purdue University researchers announced Friday they had found new evidence suggesting Amelia Earhart was accepted into crab society and lived the rest of her l
LONDON—Thanking HBO for the opportunity to provoke all over again, Girls creator Lena Dunham announced Friday that the series was coming back for five more controversies. “So much has changed in the world since the show ended nine years ago, and I’m excited to see what negative press we can dr
ANN ARBOR, MI — As the heated race for the open U.S. Senate seat in Michigan entered its final weeks, Democratic candidate Abdul Al-Sayed issued a fatwa against any journalists who ask questions about his support for terrorism.
COLUMBUS, OH—As they ran freely between tables and emitted a powerful odor of sweat, grass, and damp polyester, a youth soccer team was stinking up an entire Red Robin following a morning tournament, restaurant patrons confirmed Saturday. “They’re climbing over the backs of the seats, throwin
ST. LOUIS—Drawing skeptical gazes from onlookers for their peculiar approach to resolving conflicts, a weird family at a local bistro reportedly settled a series of disputes calmly and respectfully Friday. “It’s crazy—they spoke one at a time, listened to what everyone else was saying, apolo
FRANKLIN, TN — One local celebrity decided to get into the Halloween spirit a couple of weeks early this year, as financial guru Dave Ramsey terrorized his neighborhood by creeping around in an adjustable-rate mortgage costume.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After significant bipartisan backlash, President Donald Trump ordered the Pentagon to cancel the livestream of convicted domestic terrorist Nidal Hasan's execution and instead move it over to pay-per-view.
Hey, friend, you might be ready to relax, but before you do, you should ask yourself one question first: Is it your wife's birthday today?
Department of Homeland Security agents raided the home of Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN), prompting accusations of political retribution by the Trump administration ahead of the midterm elections. What do you think?
The post DHS Raids Rep. Ilhan Omar’s Home appeared first on The Onion.
Husbands, Election Day is nearly here, so remember to help your wife out by filling out her ballot and mailing it in.
WASHINGTON—Interrupting a heated discussion about national cybersecurity vulnerabilities with a series of high-pitched squeals, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. reportedly spent Thursday’s Cabinet meeting somersaulting across the conference room in excited pursuit of his
The post Authorities Investigate Collision Between Trains From Chicago Traveling 80 MPH, DC Traveling 75 MPH appeared first on The Onion.
Sports
The CFP is nearing a deal to make the tournament bigger. Bigger isn't better, and this one could really miss.
The CFP reached a "handshake agreement" with ESPN to broadcast a 24-team playoff beginning in the 2027 season, sources told ESPN Friday, and though there is a work to be done on paper, this is a significant step closer to doubling the postseason field.
Packers RB Josh Jacobs will be removed from the commissioner exempt list Monday, the league announced, making him eligible to practice and play next week.
Broncos linebacker Jonathon Cooper was removed from the commissioner exempt list Friday, meaning he's available to play in Week 7. Cooper, who was arrested twice in a seven-day span in June on domestic violence charges, has been on the list since Aug. 30.
Eagles RB Saquon Barkley has been ruled out for Sunday's game against the Panthers with a hamstring injury, but it appears WR DeVonta Smith will return.
Dream forward Angel Reese is embracing her first trip to the WNBA Finals with open arms, saying she's not about to "shy away from the moment" against the Valkyries.
The Cardinals say they're doing "what's right" for RB Jeremiyah Love by ruling the prized rookie out for Sunday's game against the Rams due to his injured left ankle.
Seahawks coach Mike Macdonald is standing behind Sam Darnold as the team's starting quarterback despite his seven interceptions over the past four games.
Eagles coach Nick Sirianni declined to offer much detail about Jalen Hurts' health, instead focusing on his connection with the quarterback.
The league's latest idea was also revealed Thursday -- Banana Ball 360, which will feature two fields in one stadium.
College Football Week 7 features nine FOX-family games, led by No. 4 Ohio State at No. 5 Indiana, plus three more national matchups with TV channels, streaming and previews.
See the complete NFL Week 6 schedule, TV channels and streaming details for all 14 games, plus previews of top matchups including five FOX games.
Ryan Day is embracing the challenges and opportunities of the College Football Playoff expanding to 24 teams.
Who really suffers in the Manchester City controversy? And what's going at Real Madrid, Inter Milan and Manchester United?
Here's how much it would cost for Ohio State to buyout head coach Ryan Day's contract.
Green Bay Packers running back Josh Jacobs will be removed from the NFL's Commissioner Exempt list on Monday, and is expected to be eligible to play in Week 7.
Indiana Hoosiers fans have waited 38 years to see this.
Ravens superstar QB Lamar Jackson will miss a second straight game this weekend against the Browns due to his ankle injury.
Here's how Ohio State Buckeyes superstar wide receiver Jeremiah Smith has performed against the Indiana Hoosiers in his career.
Sammy P is back with his best bets for the weekend, including how he's wagering Notre Dame-BYU and Jets-Patriots.
Tech
The metric might not mean much to laypeople, but leap seconds have been a source of contention in the timekeeping community for years. Now, they’re dead.
Thrusters are as good at flipping cars as they are at hunting ballistic missiles.
The short-lived White House press secretary was listed as an adviser to a Kristi Noem–linked company that aims to use AI for mining. Both the company and she say she never worked there.
Despite Illinois’ sanctuary laws, local police in and around Chicago helped ICE investigative agents track activists engaged in First Amendment–protected activities.
Dust off your old Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo cartridges.
If a company like Apple could offer $29 batteries before, it can do so again.
It turns out the Roadster 2 both sucks and blows.
The Razer Barracuda V2 Pro headset has a place in the office as well as at your gaming battle station.
The HBO series served as a stand-in for everything wrong with white millennial women during its original run. Then Gen Z started watching.
Elon Musk has assembled a presidential-level field operation this midterm cycle, underscoring the extent to which he has taken over the get-out-the-vote effort for the Republican party.
MIT professor Sherry Turkle warns that people have become dangerously enmeshed with chatbots.
You can see the locations of known outdoor surveillance cameras in the MapQuest app.
The Surface Laptop Ultra is a true MacBook Pro competitor for Windows, and Microsoft has never been so close to dethroning Apple—if only it weren't for the lack of battery life.
Technics' flagship over-ear wireless headphones are light on compromises, but enter a competitive market.
An OpenAI research model hit a nebulous milestone today by pilfering test Ethereum tokens.
Steam has launched Achievement Sets in beta.
A network of AI-generated models is using comics’ material to funnel views to their OnlyFans and Fanvue accounts—and there’s not much comedians can do about it.
The ChatGPT browser extension lets you compare information from your open tabs.
The Apple Store is down ahead of pre-orders for the first folding iPhone.
Gmail's search can be frustrating and basic, but Google is finally smartening it up for AI plan subscribers.
Entertainment
The owner of Marilyn Monroe's former Palm Springs house doesn't have to take her advice on how to marry a millionaire ... because they just raked in a ton of dough by selling the place. The blonde bombshell's former property in the popular Southern…
Billy Ray Cyrus and Elizabeth Hurley just took a huge step in their relationship ... because they're engaged!!! The country singer got down on one knee and proposed to the actress, and she said yes ... according to Page Six. It's unclear when or…
Sun's out, buns out ... and "Love Island" hottie Belle-A Walker is giving Hawaii one hell of a cheeky view. The Hawaiian-born bombshell is back in paradise, soaking up the sun and showing off her killer curves in a barely-there bikini ... leaving…
Peter Byrne, the late singer from Naked Eyes, apparently left behind a substantial estate for his three kids ... TMZ has learned. According to court docs obtained by TMZ, Peter's daughter Chloe Sapienza filed to be named administrator of the…
Timothy Busfield's child sex abuse case in New Mexico has been dismissed because of prosecutorial misconduct ... though the judge is leaving the door open for prosecutors to charge him again. TMZ has obtained an order from a judge quashing the…
Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is coming out swinging for Abdul El-Sayed ... calling claims linking the Michigan senatorial candidate to the Muslim Brotherhood flat-out racist. Charlie got AOC on Friday at a Culver's in Michigan, where she's been…
Hassan Jihan Ibn Kariem -- the man who was thrown from a roller coaster and fell to his death at Six Flags Over Georgia earlier this week -- will be laid to rest on Sunday ... TMZ has learned. His family tells TMZ ... Hassan's body was returned to…
Sean "Diddy" Combs' new life at a low-security federal prison in Pennsylvania is nothing to sneeze at ... and if the music mogul thinks he's going to use contraband phones, he'd better think again. According to FCI Allenwood's rules and regulations…
A New York judge is putting one of the Cornell 7 defendants and his lawyers on blast ... saying they're stirring up media drama. According to court docs, obtained by TMZ, Judge Phaedra Perry-Bond shot down Diego Sarabia's attempt to limit what…
The Oakland Police Department is looking into a viral video that allegedly shows the shooting that ended reality star Kash's life. OPD confirmed they're looking into the clip, which is making the rounds online ... telling us it has been forwarded…
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